₦airaland Forum

Hilarious

Mooh247:




To avoid see finish

If you want to enjoy your afternoon cold garri and groundnut with fish

Buy Garri at your first neighbours shop and let him think you want to make Eba

Buy Sugar at your second neighbours shop to make her think you want to drink tea with it

Buy cold pure water at the next street and have them think you want to drink it cos you are thirsty

By the fish on your way home so that they might think it's a gift for your kids

Lastly never take the same route the next day when buying your food

The day you decide to buy garri, sugar, groundnut and fish in the same neighbours shop is the day they start seeing you as a poor man in your neighbourhood



..

William Congreve is the author of that statement.

The Bible never said that.

Sonnobax15:

In as much as I believe her to an extent...

But no one should forget in a hurry that the bible categorically stated that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

When she was busy enjoying,she gree talk out that time? NO......So why now?

Abeg make she get out

Some Girls that said more than this are either baby mamas or 2nd wives now.

It's not by making noise.

Life sometimes humbles people

Prettygirl200:
Godforbid that I will ever be a second wife to any man. And no man born of a woman will bring in another woman into my house. The day I discover my husband is cheating, from that day he stops touching cux I will not Bleep a dick that is being shared with another woman. Peace!!!!

That actually wasn't the real issue.

The real issue is that she wasn't qualified to get an exemption.

Age exemption is ONLY legally granted to those who have crossed 30yrs of age at the time of their degree award.

Kemi graduated in the UK in her 20's so she wasn't qualified.

She knew this as she had already worked at Chapel Hill Denham before the govt job came calling.

So she procured the fake exemption to enable her take up the ministerial job.

The senate would not have cleared her if she had no nysc and no exemption.

SmartyPants:
Nope.

Kemi had an exemption and that is as valid as the actual certificate.

Her issue is that hers was forged. Dont mislead peoole.

If it was PDP secretariat you would have been asking valid questions like why was someone bringing $75k cash in an envelope to the HQ.

But you belong to the most corrupt and deceitful party in the history of this country so such important questions must not be asked.

That money was gonna be used to bribe someone or some people to gain an unfair advantage.

VoteTinubu2023:
That's a lot of cash. I expect the leadership of the party to fish out whoever is responsible and also take this ugly experience as a lesson not to ever keep physical cash around the party National secretariat.


By the way : Remember to Vote Tinubu 2023.

God bless Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu

God bless APC

In trying to sound intelligent, you fell flat on your face.

Did the guy mention cash? No he mentioned worth.

So you don't know the difference?

olyrayy:
Elon Musk doesn't have his entire net worth in cash. It's mostly stock. If he decided to sell it to make it cash, it would be considerably less than it is now.

Who is he deceiving?

How can someone in APC say he will only run if PDP zones to SE

You are working in Access Bank and will only take a step forward if GTB does somethin.g

Let him just say he knows he doesn't stand a chance and wants to appear as if it was his choice that he didn't run.

You heard

You believe

And you went ahead and typed that nonsense for us to believe.

You sound like a primary school pupil.

shadrach77:
I heard she is from a wealthy family. I believe she didn't need the Met Police job

You started off foolishly but ended well.

Reading what you wrote one would wonder whether comparing which state is the safer one is a new game.

shortIGBOman:
Hnmm. But all I know is that, Kaduna is safer than Anambra, Enugu and Imo States. In Anambra State alone, over 20 People where killed today, while over 40 where killed yesterday during the sit at home enforcement.

RIP to the dead and may their killers never find peace.

There's one thing about ignoramuses.

They are loud and whenever asked to provide proof of their empty claims they insult and brush the enquiries aside.

No Nigerian Bank is in the Top 10 largest banks in Africa.

The 10th largest bank in Africa is Investec Bank and it is asset size is $30 Billion.

That you are so lazy that you cannot just spend 5 mins to confirm your information is sickening.

DoctorOlasDesk:
You guys obviously don't know the true worth of our institutions sha. Anyway majority are youths here. I dey busy abeg. Try finding out the annual profit after value declare by each bank to educate yourself better


I dey busy

So Cynthia is doing divide and conquer but MURIC isn't?

Too many dumb people on Nairaland

Mooh247:




Cynthia Omo Ibo


100 people roasted to death in Imo state her village according to Aljazera news, Simon Eba is killing her kinsmen every Monday.... That's non of her concern, are obsession is Yoruba and Tinubu

In her mind Christian and Muslim are fighting in Yoruba land, unknown to her each family has equal number of Muslims and Christians in Yoruba land... And many Yorubas reading her thread sees her as a f**l for trying to use divide and conquer


.

But these your odds are in Wike's favour abi?

Dumbo.

Instead of demarketing another candidate, shouldn't Wike be busy expanding his candidacy amongst the undecided?

Moferere:
Wise Wike

He says it as it is.

The odds are against Peter Obi

The most incompetent people in Nigeria are all gathered in one political party.

APC

Chief, try and engage the brain before engaging fingers.

Is CAN a bank or even a business?

Is Sterling Bank a religious organisation?

So why equating Sterling and CAN?

The point is that a business that employs Christians shouldn't be seen to be mocking Christians.

[b] In the next Muslim holiday, CAN should compare Allah with agege bread, problem solved [/b]

No Nigerians in the heavenly storehouse.

Because Our people fit order whistles instead of trumpets and pocket the difference.

tillaman:
you sure say na trumpet them go blow
E fit be whistle o

You too like football, chief.

Angels no dey carry whistle

tillaman:
Wetin dey sup for this world
Omo the whole world has gone mad, Make angel Gabriel or Micheal blow the whistle abeg

On what basis?

Druss:
I suspect the husband.

Stop trying to deceive people.

You are an APC apologist. Your posts give you away.

You are also a Tinubu 4 president supporter so quit the deceitfulness.

You are praising Wike because you know if he gets the ticket, PDP automatically loses because Wike cannot muster 1m votes talkless of 15m needed to win.

You also condemn Peter Obi for the same opposite reasons you promote Wike.

You know that Obi with a strong Northern candidate will gain massive support and give APC a tough time.

Leave PDP alone and promote your candidate Tinubu.

Jeftliu:
Wike is the only candidate I can vote for in PDP because he's consistent and very straight forward person others are inconsistent and criminals OBI PANDORA forget to declare all his asset only for international Bodies found hiding properties in abroad that were funded and signatory by him while he was in office BUT HE'S HERO IN IGBOLAND ATIKU sold all the government Properties to himself and his friends claiming billionaire today SARAKI and TANBUMWA is jumping from one party to another because they want to become President that's desperado Motives

Nothing you have said here promotes capacity. In your eyes, once a person is brutish he should be given leadership.

It is not courage they use to fly a plane.

It is capacity.

eldoradoxx:
Wike is not a man that is known for pretense. We want people like that in the corridor of powers. People who don't asslick anybody including the President. If Buhari had one or two Wikes in his cabinet, I trust that he would not have been so grossly misled by psychotic praise singers in his cabinet

EFCC doesn't go after these guys but will pursue anybody who speaks against this govt.

How low can Buhari take this country before he will step down?

Read slowly.

The headline is erroneous.

It's someone else's 10 yr old daughter.

yanabasee:
He birthed a child at 17yrs?


Not even the legal adult age of 18?



The story doesn't add up....

Here lies a statement fully endorsed by 23 BMC's

If you gerit....

seunmsg:
He’s the best performing governor in Nigeria at the moment and it’s only reasonable that a good term deserves another. Any other shalaye is not necessary.

I don't know why you are bothering yourself with people whose root you can't identify.

Some of the males who attacked you imagine themselves in your dad's shoes.

They believe it is their right to collect their wives inheritance and don't mind killing their son to take over the property

Such are males and not men. They are already preparing to depend on their kids.
I supported you on the first thread because I know how irresponsible some men can be with money and inheritance.

GraciousGod190:
Scared you say, keep the abuse coming like the other time.

So I should allow him to sell my mother's ancestral home for cheap cash... just like that. Then tommorow when my children ask me to take them where they are from, I won't have a roof to shoe them.
Funny set of individuals we have on this site.

One wonders who told you that Ukraine would be overrun in a few days.

Ukraine is the second largest country in Europe after Russia.

The only way to win a war against Ukraine in a few days is to nuke the country but Putin isn't going to do that.

You seem know very little about international politics, modern warfare and the history these two countries have.

But allow me to quickly inform you why Ukraine cannot survive 10yrs against the Russian INVASION.

Its very likely that in a few months Ukraine will become a landlocked country and will not be able to receive aid by ships nor be able to export by sea.

Any plane bringing help will be shot down by Russia.

That leaves land borders by neighbouring countries which Russia will blow up a few convoys and those countries will stop sending such as their people will be killed needlessly.

Unless something completely unexpected happens, Zelensky will surrender one day and will be exiled.

When the Bible said 'Count The Cost' you think it was idle talk?

Zelensky's desire to join NATO will eventually cost Ukraine over $200 billion worth of damage and tens of thousands of Ukrainian souls.

What a pathetic leader

olympianares:
Everyone trying to sound intelligent by bashing Ukraine simply because they are defending their land.

In a scenario where in fact Ukraine holds their own against Russia in the next 10yrs,dont you guys think that Russia will suffer more or are u just blinded.

Crippling sanctions in place,increased weapons aid for Ukraine ..And those claiming that Ukraine will be nuked before then,shouldn't also forget that two can play the game.

And to think of it,we all thought that Ukraine was gonna be run over in just a few days,now what's today?

One person go fit cook for the community and them go chop am finish clean mouth
But when the Community decide to cook for the person...
make I end am there

Rotimi Fashakin is your god so once he speaks...that is the end of the matter.

But the question remains, what of those of us who do not see him as our God?

Eriokanmi:
Good to know. Nairaland criers than the bereaved may now take a bow and rest

With all your noise here, you are truly gullible.

Obama has left office but he is still a politician.

Obama and Kamala are the ones controlling The White House now because Biden struggles to know what day it is!

Michelle70:
even after leaving office, he still relates with commoners and crack jokes

Even though I don't know you.

I am ashamed of how gullible you are.

Politics is ALL about Optics. You must create an image to fool the dumb voters.

I'm sure you voted Buhari because of pictures they showed you.

Mtscheww!

God1000:
For those of you that think Barack Obama is evil because of his policies and stance on homosexuality, he's a surefooted Christian, a true believer in Christ, he goes to church regularly.


You can see him reading the holy bible

He's a proud Blackman as well, I remember him going to his ancestral homeland keyna as senator and president.

Your husband has a woman outside who speaks to the King inside of him.

What is saving you is that the woman is not after your seat.

Also he loves the kids and wouldn't want to leave them in your care as you will destroy them with your tongue

God bless that lady for she is the one keeping him sane and happy.

dacblogger:
I will not lie, I dey insult Sha and if not for the kind of man my hubby is, him for don.commit suicide because of the things I tell him.
But the truth is that, I'm a very emotional person and I'm easily angered. Infact my hubby is the most annoying human being on planet Earth...
He has a way of getting at you and he does that on a daily basis .
So when he does that, I try to hold in the anger for days but when I can't hold it anymore, I explode... When I'm done telling him all those things, I feel better.
So you see , Venting is my coping mechanism.
We women we DNT do that intentionally, that is just our own way of expressing the anger that we have held for so long.
May God help each and everyone one of us Sha.

Modified: to all those he goats that are killing themselves on my post.... Feel free to hit your head on the wall
I'm still with my hubby and we are still in peace ... If you DNT like that fact, feel free to go home and beat up your wives that's if you have one.

If not for your empty headedness, was it not the APC leader that said so in the interview?

Why are you attacking this chap?

Tell us your position on the grand scheme of things in APC to challenge what the APC leader said?

Dsalvo:
Look at this one. If I send you an e-slap it will reset your flat head. Only failed Yorubas can fear or admire Igbos who are big political failures and nonentities.

You lot are a joke now begging everyone for a ticket non of the two main Parties are interested in conceding to you.

Yet you're here making noise against Yorubas who are a bonafide Nigerian political powerhouse ethnic group. I pity you.

Ignorance is always loud on Nairaland.

The Old Testament existed before Jesus was born.

All of the new Testament were originally written within 40yrs of the death of Jesus except for the books of John the Beloved.

It was the gathering of these and other books and sifting them into those that were divinely inspired and those that were not that took so much more time.

But definitely not the writing.

So get educated.

Realists:
Do you know who wrote the Bible ?.
Do you know how many years after the death of Jesus son of Mary, that the Bible was written?.

Within a few months a staff has the guys to tell her boss to excuse her from the shop she does not know how it came about!

Chaii. See temerity

It's obvious you have shown her that you want something more from her and she wants to take advantage of you.

dboY1123:
Nothing.. She said I want to pray, meaning please excuse me.

So much confusion permeating your post.

Where does one even start from!

MyVILLAGEpeople:
But if he didn’t betray Jesus, the scriptures wouldn’t be fulfilled. So someone must betray him so the scriptures will be fulfilled.