₦airaland Forum

Leezah:
Choose. Your girlfriend has reason to feel the way she does and you know it.

Maybe.

2 out of 2 times I have ever been jealous of an ex boyfriend's friend (not with every ex boyfriend was this an issue) it was found out later that the female friend was indeed crushing on my boyfriend. Women unlike men tend to “read” people well, especially other women. When in love a woman's intuition especially tends to intensify. Then again so does her jealousy so this can be a tricky situation that requires some reflection and honesty with yourself and openness with your girlfriend.

Some of what made me feel jealous in these times was intuition, but some things I just simply understand by being a female myself and having many female friends. I knew certain subtle things females do when they like a guy and saw it. Even personally I crushed on guy friends before and some never suspected it. So it's definitely possible your girlfriend sees something you don't.

Anyways, aside from intuition and certain gestures i saw, I noticed that these 2 boyfriends would run to the female friend with all the problems we had as though she was his “refuge”. This is growing intimacy with your friend instead of your girlfriend and a BIG NO-NO. It would have been better that they went to an older and wiser man for counsel than to her.

Although you may go to your female friend for advice with other problems you should never ever come to her with relationship problems. Friends of the opposite shouldn't know all the intimate details of your relationship. As soon as you have a girlfriend this is the most immediate way in which your friendship to your friend should change. By you coming to her you are now showing her what sort of romantic partner you are and how “romantically compatible” you now are with her.

Women are weird. As soon as you deeply open up about these conditions of your heart, etc, we cant help but to at least wonder if we are romantically compatible especially since we come out the womb being relationship/love oriented. Unless you want your female friend trying to now question secretively if you and her are compatible its best you leave her in the dark about this “intimate” side of you or only expose this side of you when you are single. Also don't break up with your girlfriend and the next day run to your female about the issues. Especially in young love people break up then 2 months later are back together.

Overall allowing a female friend to see these aspects of you should be when you are single (via the title of being single and via emotionally being untied to anyone). Then and only then you should share your romantic/relationship characteristics with your opposite sexed friend and even then just know you are opening the strong possibility that this friend will now start qualifying and disqualifying you as a romantic partner.

If you want female advice then ask older women but maybe not your mom or those who would have too much bias and too easily take your side. Maybe Nairaland could be good however take every answer with a grain of salt including my own. Honestly relationships and determining what is acceptable and not acceptable is personal and takes personal reflection. You can't just take advice for everything.

I especially think in todays world with so many boys raised without fathers its not good to get all your relationship do's and don't from females. You shouldn't think like a female when dating a female. You should think like a man. For the most part men have to be more patient and giving in certain areas of relationships and women should be more patient in othe areas. Learning intimate relationships is not like learning to be politically correct or learning what's publicly proper. Although I do recommend reading relationship books from people who share your same vision of intimate relationships dating someone is the foundation in an intimate world you are creating and everyone is different in what they can accept or what they prefer. People's preferences in love ranges from the most traditional to the grotesque…

Meditate on what you want. Overall if this is a woman who fits every aspect of your vision of an intimate relationship than her opinion does matter. At the end of a day you and HER will be the main creators of a world between your walls and conforming to her in all aspects that's reasonably possible and vice versa is key in making a lasting relationship (keyword:reasonable).

Overall there are many questions you have to ask before you seek to end your friendship. In my own situation both of these boyfriends much later “confessed” that they deeply knew the female friend liked them since I first mentioned my jealousy but they thought it wasn't a big deal unless they fed into it. Personally I felt these were feeding into it (again men don't tend to know the world of female emotion as well). Can you honestly and I mean SINCERELY look at all the encounters with your female friend say that beyond a shadow of a doubt this friend has absolutely, and I mean absolutely has no crush on you? Honestly not even her having a boyfriend matters. Having a boyfriend doesn't stop one from having basic human desires towards another. In divorce courts we see this clearly, so of course in simply dating we can't deny this simple fact of life.

Anywho, despite my own experiences, at the end of the day I would not say it's the best solution to always cut off the female friend just because your girlfriend is jealous especially without considering these things I mentioned.

Many times we date just to date and practice a long term commitment.

Look at everything mentioned here, reflect, keep intimate problems away from opposite sexed friend, and determine your motivation in dating the woman you're with. Is she practice or is she the one?
Is she seeing something you don't or is it jealous?
Is it every female friend and interaction that makes her jealous or is it just this one friend?
Is not conforming to her in this way worth risking a lifetime of not having her by your side?
Many questions to ask before you take any action.

adelaja70:
Sanusi is the pro chancellor of LASU... Nobody dey asslick

Fortuna2:
He has all it takes and even more to head an institution. Meanwhile, why should only 76 of 8,959 graduants be awarded a first class? That's less than 1%..very poor.

Sheuns:
Back then in IJ FGC Lagos, we used to scale fence at the back of JS1 hostel.
There was this night there was massive scaling. What we scaled mostly to do was buy bread, egg and noodles from one Mai Shai at Iyana Era.

This very night was my first time scaling, a friend asked me to help him get noodles and eggs on my way back. On getting there, I met quite a number of my colleagues waiting and eating already, we ignored each other sha, to avoid suspicion from people that we’re students. I sha waited till it was my turn, it was already very late when my turn reached, every other student had left, leaving just me and another friend that we went together, we bought our stuff and those of my friend in school.

Around 11:30 we left the Mai Shai to go back, my mind wan cut, what if dem catch us? I sha do strong mind dey bounce dey go on a lonely dark street. As we approached the point of entry (fence) I noticed broken bottles scattered on the ground and some slippers, I looked back and around; wetin happen for here, these things weren’t here before na. What that meant was Obtainers don chase guys o, Obatainers! Ah! If dem catch me lasan na gbege o.
Obtainers was a term we used to refer to local louts then (area boys), they can spot a student easily. We hastened our steps and got to the point, sharply in two steps I reached the top of the fence and jumped back in, i landed awkwardly and sprained my ankle, omo it’s better to break leg than get caught and expelled.

On entering we saw flashlights pointing towards our direction, we dodged in a nearby bush. When the coast was clear we went to our hostels; as we reach my friends were surprised to see me, I was like; “wetin happen”, they replied: “dem no catch you, they talk say dem don catch u na”, I said who, they replied “Obtainers “. I told them I saw signs of scuffles but I didn’t see any Obtainers. They made me realize that they chased some students and even caught some, some fought back but were overpowered.

That was my first but not my last. Boarding school was fun mhen. I enjoyed it wella.

phrancys001:
Bros d moto has become PH specs no over high matter

SaintHilary:
Wats "Dubai" about this car?

JasonScoolari:
[b]I see some comments above begging the bank to take responsibility of the potential Lawrence Anini....


So, we should applaud a teenage thief and give him necessary support for robbing a bank? Or we should raise a GoFundMe account for him to achieve his full potential as a notorious bank robber?

When a thief breaks into your house or shop and he’s being caught please take responsibility of him and train him in the way of the lord...

Mispreeti:
Please I need your advice.

My sister is at the hospital with one of her twins who is seriously ill and I'm in her house taking care of the other twin. I have been here for a week and her husband has been disturbing me for sex. I refused but he is not listening. He touched me while I was asleep and I felt it then I immediately woke up. He pretends to be covering the baby sleeping beside me. I told him i will report him to my dad in the morning. He has apologised and promised not to do it again but I know he is lying because this is not the first time it has happened since I came here.

I can’t go back to sleep and I'm afraid if I close my eyes and sleep, he will come again.

Please should I report him to my dad or give him another chance?

ChieduJoshua081:
Your brain is more than a super computer. You don't yet understand the capacity of the human brain that's why you are scared. As I am now, i can never believe this stupid concept that "too much reading can make somebody mad naturally" it is a lie from people who can't read as much as you do or people who don't want you to know more than them.

Your brain can take any amount of information you need to take in and no matter the information you take in, when you die scientists will still tell you that you haven't used up to 10% of your brain. Although this has been said by some other scientist to be a very popular science myth but there may be some fact in it.

Juju and evil powers is very common in this part of the world so if you like you can believe it but a fact is it may be the cause of this your guy's misfortune.

That somebody choked and died while eating food does not mean we should not eat to our satisfaction.

That somebody drove a car and had an accident does not mean we should not drive cars again.

That somebody read and lost his mind does not mean we should not read as much as much as possible.

That somebody who had genius level IQ became mad does not mean we should not strive for world class intelligence.

Stop personalizing things and go out there and read all you can. We dont need more ignorant people anymore.

More people die of ignorance than of over learning or reading.

letout:
Na wa oo whyre you mixing toks picture with Nigerian used. I kmownfor certain the temperature in Nigeria ain't 66 degrees f. Please post the current picture of the car especially the interior not the toks. Thank you

Okoroawusa:
No be Franklass be this?

Goldenheart:
We was on the assembly ground one lovely afternoon, we just finished singing "Now da day is over night is drawing near..."

The previous week, a company just finished constructing a tall telecommunication mast close to the assembly round.

... After the song, one tired student looked up at the sky moving sky and said oh it looks like the mast is coming down. every one looked up and they thought the mast was actually coming down.

it wasn't long everyone panicked and there was a stampede within minutes, a lot of students were injured...


turns out the mast wasn't actually coming down, the movement of the clouds made it look like it was coming down.

alphaNomega:
You are very wrong. It is 99.9%

kestolove95:
Dats cobra na, the one lala dey change to in d nyt go hunt..abg make una do small small make una no go kill lalasticlala oo

Kestolove:
"From the bottom of my hrt am sorry for betraying you sir"...

kelvxyn:
I can see d frustration in u and ur worthless family. Go get a life. U lifeless being.

kelvxyn:
Power drunk....... This world is doomed.