₦airaland Forum

gabazin080:
and u have to quote the whole post to type this nonsense

Noblejohn32:
Episode 4

Two weeks after Val, the school was on fire: all manners of life threatening report was made. Many girls had a new walking step, most of them lost their 'hymen' to guys who managed to get them kunu and eggroll on Val's day. A certain report was brought to the school that a group of ritualist inserted fetish items into the vagina of four girls in an hotel room but one luckily escaped to tell the tale, unfortunately, the rest died a week later. Rumours circulated round the school that a number of girls were pregnant and so they stoped school, most of them were now shadow of themselves after the trauma of aborting a baby that was made on Val's day. Less than twenty girls lost their life during the process of abortion as they took in toxic substance to abort the child. Most of them, on their death bed confessed their deeds to their parents and guys responsible were cooling their heads off in the police cell. A teacher died of cardiac arrest during the active service of sex. After Post-mortem was carried out, it was discovered that he took sex enhancing drugs.
he died with saliva and mucus dripping down his nose, the girl he carried the service with was currently in a white garment church seeking mercy from God.
Many girls became enemies as complains of : "you slept with my guy, he disvirgined me" filled the air. Most guys were not left out as they exchanged punches with their potential enemies claiming the person hijacked their date during val.
Most guys evaded classes so as to avoid some girls they slept with, while most ladies cried to death when they discovered their body was only used as a sex tool.
Few found love.

Jackson sat in a secluded area in school trying to think about the occurence in school. SSCE was fast approaching. The girl Evelyn was on his mind, he chuckled as he remembered Val's day, a day he got drilled by a General, a day he could have disvirgined a girl, a day he could have......
He shrugged, Valentine was a spirit with two heads... aye.

The Senior secondary certificate examination began and all student 'gave their mind to it'.
After the result was out, Captain Jack squashed the examination.
He had seven F and one C.
He cried, in anger he left to church with his result to testify about the witches of his village responsible for his failure. His dad as usual took him through anothet rigorous fasting and broke more bottles of egg and olive oil on his head. Jack head had grown extra thick due to the amount of bottles being broken on it.
The next year he registered for JAMB and GCE. But on JAMB examination day, he was chased by a mad dog and he ran and got lost. Before he could recover the route back to the exam hall, it was nine hours later.
He wrote GCE and made seven F and one C, he gave up.
He thought school wasn't for him.
He decided to learn a trade. his mother tried to make him learn most lucrative masculine trade but he wanted learning hairdressing. His mum pleaded with him to focus on the barbing part but he wanted female hairdressing. When his dad heard of the decision, he tagged him a son possessed with marine spirits.
Nevertheless, Captain bought the required items and paid for the one year training in a reputable hairdressing saloon.
His first day at work was a disaster, as he told everyone including his boss to call him Captain. The very moment he placed his iron hands on a woman to practise, the woman screamed loud as he pulled the strands of the lady's hair as if he pulled a rope. That earned numerous lumps on his head as the boss will always hit him repeatedly with the heel of her shoes. But he never stopped.
After two months, he was expelled.
Captain Jack applied in a warehouse as a sales boy and he was employed. Within the space of two weeks, he broke over sixty bottles of drinks. The owner got fed up one day and slammed a bottle of coke on Jack's head but was suprised when the was no reaction.
Jack smiled and left.
From all angles, he knew he was cursed. He stayed at home for months and almost died of boredom.
Jack decided to join his dad on his gospel mission. That day they moved round the market screaming and preaching. Jack never knew any portion of the Bible, he only nodded and spoke in strange tongues to spice his dad's message.
After the gospel session, his dad asked him to strike a chorus.
Jack thought for a while, the song that came into his mind was 'Gentleman' by Fela Anikulapo.
He sang it out.
♪i no be gentleman atall♪
♪i be African man, original!♪

His dad without warning, slammed a bottle of Olive oil on his head.
"Are you worshipping the God of Fela here?" Dad screamed.
The people in the market screamed when they didn't see any trace of blood on Jack's head.
Dad sang a chorus and gave him a basin to move round the market and get offering.
"I see your husband dying in a keke accident, i see your first son doing marchpast under the bridge, i see your daughter being elected as the chairlady association of madwomen! Sow a seed so that heaven will smoke your suffering out" Jack will prophesy to anybody he sees then he'll hand the basin towards the person for money.
After the tedious exercise under the sun, they returned home to count their proceedings.
Dad accused Jack of stealing the church offering.
"Why am i seeing only two thousand?" Dad screamed.
"Dad, i didn't count the money!" Jack defended.
"Just today that you lended Christ your life, you want to destroy my ministry!" Dad screamed and rushed inside his room and soon emerged with two cutlass and a dane gun.
He held the two cutlass and swung it vigorously as if preparing to battle a deadly monster.
"Daddy! How many times do you want to kill me, atleast one cutlass is enough!" Jack screamed and raced out of the house.
***************


Jack chuckled lightly as he reminisced on his life. He was approaching the age of thirty, no girlfriend, no career, no job.
He shifted his tablefan closer as he was drenched with sweat.
He thought of different business ideas, he could embark on. The following day was Valentine, he thought buying condoms in pack and selling them on a high rate since the demand for it will be high.
He couldn't come up with a better plan.

*14th Febuary 2020*

Jack sat on a sloppy hill and viewed the activities on the street, preparations was on high gear against the golden night.
He smiled to himself, no job, no girl.
A particular car caught his attention.
A red highlander halted and a tall beautiful lady alighted.
Captain Jack's eyes popped wild.
"Evelyn" he couldn't stop the voice.
The lady turned swiftly towards the direction she heard her name.
"Jjjjjj" she stuttered.
Jack raced down with a scream and enveloped her in a hug.
"How are you?" He breathed in excitement.
"Are you Jack?" She asked.
"Yes".
"Oh my gosh!" The memories began flooding in.
"Today is Val" she breathed.
"Yea! and you're still fresh on my mind!" Jack said.

Jack entered into her car and they drove to a posh restaurant.
They sat over a bottle of expensive wine and a plate of barbequed fishes.
"So how is life?" Jack asked.
"Good! I'm a medical surgeon now working with the military hospital" she said. "And you?"
"I am like a lizard, i have no house!".
"You haven't desisted from this your funny act!" She said as she sipped her wine.
"I'm damn serious! I'm just an empty vessel, no career, no job. I've always wanted to be in the force but i d....."
"Shhhh! Don't lament,".
"I don't even have an O level result" .
"Gosh! In life, circumstances arises to train us and not to weigh us down. If you're still nursing the ambition of being in the force, you can still make it".
"Can i?" He shrugged.
"Believe that you can and you will" she said.
Jack breathed.
"Are you married?" She asked.
"Noo".
"Thank God!" She breathed.
"What are you thanking God for?" Jack asked suprised.
"Right from the last valentine day in school, I've always nursed the thought to see you again. I ate your bread and moimoi".
Jack jerked.

With the help of Evelyn, he wrote GCE and JAMB and was admitted in the Naval Academy.
Captain Jack dreams weren't cut short.
"Would you wait for me?" Jack asked Evelyn as he arranged his luggages at the park.
"I'll wait for you no matter how long it takes you to graduate over there! The future is bleak but I'm certain there will always be light at the end of the tunnel" She said with tears.
"Aye!"

*THE END*

Valentine has two heads, one ugly and one beautiful. Let us not be lost in its fumes. This is not neccessarily the time to Bleep and get bleeped up. You can touch anyone's life positively, not negatively. Yo can strenghten someone else heart, not to break it.
You could use this period to solidify a family bond, a friendship bond or a relationship. Let's damn compensation after every gift, let's damn sex orgy after every cock and bull date.
Let's exhibit true, pure, real love with no sinister motives.
I love you all.

Desire continues nextweek...........