₦airaland Forum

Maybe he was threatened into saying they should be granted amnesty, who knows, they could have said they would kidnap somone close to him if he didn't.

I do not want to believe he said that out of his own free will.

Marthakings: hourglass and figure 8 are d same

Noted!

After checking my account balance, I have decided that I'm not ready, I refuse for my children to grow up to be garri warriors.

No Figure 8?

I'm sure Iyanya would have something to say about that.

Save money, live better, Walmart.

Cowbell, Our milk.

There're some things money can't buy, for everything else, there's MasterCard.

MTN, Everywhere you go.

Glo, Rule your world.

Etisalat, 0809ja for life.

Union Bank, big, strong, reliable.

Visa, accepted everywhere.

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Alaba International Market, selling fake products since 1978.

Wow! I'm usually not easily impressed but, just wow!

You usually don't come across roads built to such high standards very often, not even in developed countries.

Look at the sidewalks, look at the lanes, look at the street lights, look at the street signs, look at the way they removed all the sand from the road, ensuring it is in mint condition.

Bravissimo Governor for a job well done, some people try to build to international standards, but you have shown here that you aspire to build to intergalactic standards.

victokafor: Why is it that we are always pessimistic of innovations that will catapult us to greatness? Anyway Uncle Joe, Kudos to you buuuut the security situation of the country needs to be addressed well. This development can as well serve as a catalyst for terrorism in some parts of the country. Maybe the nuclear site can be sited in the NORTH!!!

Well the pessimism for most is warranted, since government has been failing them for a while, remember the pic below?

I am not against shedding this pessimism for a more optimistic view on things in the country, but we can't be blind optimists either.

My humble opinion is that we should make use of the coal we have fast, and stream line the gas transport system for gas turbines, we can also add massive solar farms in the north, and wind farms in areas with strong wind surges.

If after that, all our power needs aren't yet met, then one can begin to contemplate nuclear energy.

What people are failing to realize is that we have coal in Nigeria.

Why has the government left all the coal mines to die. Look at the energy generation chart for the U.S below, you can see that the main source of energy for them is coal.

I am always sad when I realize that most of our coal mines are inactive, unless the case has presently changed.

senbonzakura_kageyoshi: Nigerians are everywhere. Including the internet. Especially the internet, and like anywhere you find us, you’ll most likely come across annoying Nigerians that make you just want to buy an assault rifle (asides those telling you they are princes and have billions in a foreign account. I mean, how many Naija peeps will fall for that?). I’ve taken a bit of time out to categorize my five most annoying set of Nigerian on the internet.

1 The LOL Monsters

Where you can find them: Facebook, Twitter, pretty much every social network there is.

[b]What makes them really annoying: [/b]These guys just type LOL to everything you post on social networks. I had breakfast: lol. My boyfriend dumped me: lol. My husband’s plane crashed and he is currently in coma and the doctor said he might have to undergo a sex change to save his life: lol. Sometimes, I begin to suspect that these guys don’t even know the meaning of the slang sef. There was once I got so pissed that I posted this on my Facebook timeline:

https://zakuraweekly.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/fbpost-300x45.jpg

The response I got?

https://zakuraweekly.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/fbresponse-300x104.jpg

As some people say, I blame MTN for giving that person free MB!

http://zakuraweekly.com/six-types-of-annoying-nigerians-on-the-internet/

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manny4life: Bros... abegi no kill me me laughter, u don crase finish..

Shey it's only you that will fly in that airplane abi...

Mr. Yoshi, welcome on board Manny's special airline jet... made for you. Per your schedule, final destination is Atlantic Ocean. Sir, to your left is a jacked up window and to your right, well the doors ain't working. If you look outside both windows, one side of the wings is longer than the other which means, we may not be able to generate lift just in time. When you feel a bounce prior to take off, it just means the tires aren't that pressurized enough. SIR, worry not... we GOT YOU COVERED. We shall be in the air in to no time, I'd like for you to relax, and enjoy you last maiden flight... Thank you for choosing to fly Manny's Air, call sign final destination... Fly again with us.

LMAO!

scientology: as in croc can run faster than him

Not necessarily on a straight path, put within a small distance, sure, due to the initial burst of speed.

Also note that if he got into the very small canoe, then the larger sized croc would simply swim towards him. Crocs are obviously much faster in water.

If he let his guard down while on land, he could also be ambushed by the croc, cause once the croc is a bit close to you, the ambush is all but complete when it decides to snap it jaws towards you in one swift motion.

seedord247: Does Crocodile kills human?

Nope, they don't!

So when next you see one, don't be afraid.

You don't f**k with crocs, they have the ability to slow down their metabolism and wait for you for up to 2 weeks.

There was also a true story I remember about some Aussie that was trapped on a tree, he had to climb the tree to get away from crocs. Funny thing is these crocs waited for him patiently under the tree. He said at night all he could see were sets of colored eyes starring at him, and moaning as if to say, I want my food now. Luckily he was rescued just like this guy.

If I ever visit Australia, I am staying away from every swamp, lake, river e.t.c. Australia is notorious for having some of the biggest crocs alive.

manny4life: Abeg, how I go take start my own

You can start by contacting those teens that made the aircraft in the pic below.

They can design a couple more for you so you can have a full fleet.

Convincing Nigerians to board might be a problem though, but with the right strategy, I believe you can succeed .

I am afraid of looking at some of these hair styles, dont wanna turn to stone.

Medusa tinz!

I still remember the first time I saw google's site.

I was thinking what kind of razz empty site is this, after being a yahoo boy(no pun intended) myself.

Little did I know of the awesomeness of the search engine at the time.

Toyota Responds to FRSC:

Fix your roads and driving etiquette in the country first, then we can talk.

Good development, but too bad it's not a company listed on the stock market. Pharma stocks for successful phase trials always rise through the roof, sometimes with over a 700% increase in gains.

Well any smart investor would follow up on this to find out were the opportunity lays and pull the trigger at the right time.

keyremotes: Driving in Lagos/Nigeria is madness.
Our driving does not conform to any known driving style IN THE WORLD.
ALWAYS AT WAR.
NO REGARD FOR THE MOST SIMPLE LAW THAT SAYS "GIVE WAY TO TRAFFIC ON YOUR LEFT".

"Always at War"

I don't know who most of these drivers on the road are fighting.

I was once on the line at the toll, with my car perfectly within the confines of my lane. Just before approaching the booth, another motorist started jostling for position with my car.

The height of all madness, is what I experienced that day. This dude just brazenly rammed his car into mine, I guess he was thinking that I would give way so as not to damage my car, but in that moment, I felt I had to defend my right and stay in my lane (as childish as that sounds), hence refusing him entry. Usually I would allow entry to cars that are already in front of mine, but this guy was side by side with me, the best thing a sane person would do when trying to enter someone else's lane in that situation would be to go in after me.

Anyway after the initial ramming, he kept going, that is, he just kept bashing my car, forcefully removing me from my lane. It got so bad that when I tried to swerve away, to give this mad man chance, I couldn't. Why? Because this lunatic had rammed his car tire into mine, sorta locking both of them.

I reached my boiling point when I looked over through my window to shout at the guy, and behold to my amazement, the guy had an emotionless face on him, while just looking forward, as if nothing was happening, and the bashing of my car was all in my head.

I just had to get out of my car and kick his ass, lol. I really can't say it any better, it was sweet ass kicking, the justified kind. Police had to come in, blah, blah, blah, at the end the mad man came to be apologizing, evidence of the obvious dual personality possessed by him.

It really is war on the roads, but as I said, I don't know who they are fighting.

stillwater: Making laws is not Nigeria's problem but enforcing the laws. As you said the police even joined in the fracas, lol. The law enforcers are even law breakers.
Everything still points to the top of government.
If I were in the State government I would embrace Nigerians lawlessness since they have embraced psychosis. It is a good avenue to make money for the state. Break the law, pay a heavy fine, simple . I bet in the first year, I would make 200 billion naira. Yes we have that many indisciplined people in Nigeria.

I do not doubt that at all, say 10 million citizens break laws in a month, each of them having to pay a fine of NGN10,000, that's already about 100 billion naira (hope my math is correct).

In the U.S, traffic cops are given quotas they must reach within a certain period. These quotas are for giving fines to traffic offenders. One might think that is cruel, but it is an inevitable fact that people would break traffic laws, and so the quotas help ensure that the traffic police is indeed doing their job.

I know being a governor or lead administrator is difficult, but when these same people drive through the chaos, can't they proffer solutions? The blueprint for traffic solutions has already been implemented by developed countries, so its not like we have to start from scratch in forming solutions for ourselves.

Funny enough while I was driving, I was just thinking that if I was a Police Officer, I would pull over so many people on Nigerian roads, most especially Danfo drivers.

I was driving today in Lagos, and was held up in traffic. In every traffic jam I find myself in, I always try to analyze the situation to get down to the root cause.

The initial slow moving traffic on Lekki-Expressway while I was driving wasn't that bad, until of course some Nigerians started forming extra lanes to bypass the slow moving traffic, that would have dissipated on its own.

So now the 3 lane road was turned into a six lane road, that is not 4, not 5, but 6 lanes.

Why are Nigerians such psychos sometimes? Why can't some people just wait and not make a bad situation worse?

I even saw a police van taking the bush path which formed the sixth lane, all I could do was SMH.

Why can't we enforce simple law and order? Even in the small things like traffic. Its not like this requires huge amounts of money for infrastructure, its just a matter of the enforcers doing their work.

Is this guy for real?

Is he seriously concerned about his wellbeing after ruining that of another?

J12: These foods are good for the end times.

Please refer to the thread for end timers, leave other threads alone.

https://www.nairaland.com/1423017/end-time-end-times-end

No jellof rice?

I feel he left out some things:

Like don't procrastinate, a lot of people that aren't successful are that way because they always procrastinate.

Even school kids will leave homework and studying for exams untill the last minute.

You have to be able to "Just Do It", no matter how you feel. You just gotta put one feet in front of the other and keep moving.

How does a project get to be a year late? One day at a time.

I don't know why everyone is so fascinated with saying this, so I figured I would create a therapeutic thread were end time people can shout it out without fear of Ignominy, without fear of castigation.

You are safe here!

I hope this therapy works and you can get it out, and leave the other threads alone.

Confusionist: so, it is finally true..the Yoruba adage that says, 'one rich man within poor people na poor man!'

because d man build mansion for that locality now he must garther his life savings and construct roads, drainages and dredging of that water abi?

Guy, talk true, shey na govt we get so?

As a bonifide citizen of a state, even if light no dey...we are entitled to good roads and well channelled draining system!

Kilode?

Stop abeiting crime o jare!

Good points, I was just about to say that you don't expect the individual to fix the road leading to his house, unless he meant the driveway in his house or something, but if it is the actual road leading to his house, then that is just too much to ask from an individual.

I have seen some people in Nigeria that have said "to hell with the government", and decided to fix the roads leading to their houses, even here in Lagos, I just think its sad that people would have to spend their own money for interlocking stones, laborers, e.t.c, just for a road leading to their houses. A road that others that didn't contribute might still use to get to their destination.

How long will we provide things for ourselves in Nigeria? Light and water most especially. Why do we even have government in Nigeria if they can't give us light, water, security in 2013? What are they doing in the government sef?

In Nigeria 2013, election campaigns are still based on "oh, I will give you light, I will give you water", can you imagine?

In all seriousness I view this as a great security threat on the part of the boy and whoever attempts this.

This is also a monumental lapse in security, I mean its just one airport, how hard can it be, my country, to secure one freaking airport?

It happened once, and that was a bit amusing with people shedding light on the boys heroism, thereby allowing the security lapses by the officials to fade in the dark, but for this to happen a second time is inexcusable.

I see a lot of jokes on this thread, but people are hardly addressing the security issues here.

How am I supposed to feel safe on the next Arik flight?

That guy could have smuggled IEDS with him, God forbid, but how can an airport, and an airplane not be secured, twice in a row now?

Vallyleroy: people get mind

Samelfisha: is that guy real?

I don't understand it either, but the guy has huge Cojones though.

obi4eze: These whites refuse to learn.
Wild animals have 'wild' brains.
Thank God you weren't eaten up.

Tell that to this guy right here.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-G0SbwdSO7A