₦airaland Forum

NaJa HaJe:
I find it very interesting that when it comes to general equality between men and women; ladies are quick to shout out that it's the 21 century, women are equal to men . . . . blah de blah

But when it comes down to who pays for the meal at dinner date or as the poster has proposed; HOW MUCH MONEY SHOULD THE WOMAN CONTRIBUTE ladies are quick to quote the bible or say things like the man is head of the house.

does this mean that some or most of the new age women are hypocrites ? ?

where are the feminists in nairaland . . . . . I think it would be interesting to learn your contributions and your arguments in defence.

Personally I would contribute as much as i can because i think it takes two to build up a home and sustain it.

well said!!!!!!!!!!!.

stranger26:
It's the guy's job to provide for the family; the woman does not have to contribute a single kobo! If she wants to, then of course she can contribute but it isn't to be expected of her. You guys amaze me. You want your wife to contribute financially; how many of you share the household chores? Do you split the cooking. the washing up, the cleaning? Do you divide up who gets up when the kid is crying at night? Who stays up when the kids are sick with flu? Who carries the baby for 9 months in her belly with all the pain and trauma associated with it? Who undergoes the pain of labour? Who spends more time raising the kids, teahing them morals, putting up with their misdemeanors?

yes, its the man's duty to cater for his family, but the woman, while it may not be expected of her, has major roles to play. who says men dont stay awake when their kids are sick with flu? who gets up when a strange sound is heard at night?

Who carries the baby for 9 months in her belly with all the pain and trauma associated with it? Who undergoes the pain of labour?

asking this is like asking who pays the bride price, their isnt any provision made by our creator  for a man to take up that role, otherwise men would, for some reasons like this, some would say its a man's world,no matter how you try to manipulate things a woman comes out unfavoured in most cases.

stranger26:
See, yeah, if you ARE going to share the household chores, then it is more acceptable. I get mad at this topic because stupid guys want their wives to contribute while they are not ready to do anything around the house. One guy said he would help his wife only if she was really sick! And he expects her to help him out financially! Does that seem fair?

i hope this is not trade by barter!!!!!!!!! do me i do you, do this or i wont do this. personally, i feel a man has got more dignity when he can provide for his family without any aid from the wife, but what if

ayeesha:
she earns more than he does?

then i believe there is absolutely nothing wrong if she contributes more while he tries to up his game, afterall if i may say, she probably knew his worth before they got married and i feel there shouldnt be any relationship between financial contributions and house chores if the couples have good understanding, these shouldnt be a problem.

the remedy is up to you, depends on what things are of interest to you, personally i enjoy playing chess online when am feeling lonely, there are a lot of games you can get involved in, you could read books, the bible, visit friends, take up a casual job for the fun of it and not necessarily the pay, it should be something you love to do, watch CNN or SKYNEWS to get the latest on world reports and events,keep yourself busy by initiating what you have learnt that day as discussion points with people you meet, depending on their area of interest though.

you could also just think of any topic and look up on google what details there are, so many things to keep you busy, but i will advise you keep yourself busy with something that will bring you financial gains, you will never be lonely because am sure you wont get tired of seeing your bank account grow.

all the best.

was she employed? you could check her condition of service, may be that can help.

Between a 2003/2004 toyota camry and a 2006/2007 nissan maxima.

thanks all.

[quote author=oko-omoge link=topic=109690.msg1921101#msg1921101 date=1202201694]Nigeria guys are sick for real!

black people with black mentality![/quote]you sound like you are not nigerian and it seems you are not a black? if you are, you may have been caught in your WEB

admin,
that was a fast one !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 20 GBOZA FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@ poster,
could you do us a favour? rephrase your question ,am confident some one out there has got a decent answer.

next time endeavour to be as simple as possible, PIDGIN follow, nothing do you, am waiting.

a world without internet =  a world in jail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the cause? before investigation= terrorist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! after investigation= anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NaJa HaJe:
@Poster

I think its a blessing rather than a dilemma

If you really love your current girlfriend and don't just appreciate her simply because she 'stuck by you all the while' then I think you should talk to the girl in UK.

A) Tell her about the current girl in your life and you feelings for her.

B) Tell her that you are happy to accept her offer if it would be considered as a biznezz proposition. (you will be paying her back)

C) Agree an amount for the service of the visa and the trouble she is going to through with opening up her personal life to the intense scrutiny of the Home Office.

D) Agree on a time limit you will be at her address for. E.g 18months should be about right to get you on your feet if you are focused and a hard worker.

If there is a positive understanding then inform your current girl.

thanks, these are the benefits of forums, i mean ideas from great minds, you are very authentic.

my lord,
do i say you are over reacting, i just remembered a similar experience with my girlfriend, we both had finished eating, i carried the plates to the kitchen, then she shouted from the room: baby please could you help me wash the plate am too full to stand up now, i did it  and i can't even remember, to wrap it up when i was coming out from the kitchen she begged me to help her with water from the fridge, i can do likewise to her, its all about understanding yourselves, take it easy ok. NOTHING DO YOU.

[quote author=Lord_Reed link=topic=109690.msg1910022#msg1910022 date=1201876155]@Thoniaslim
But u say it like it's demeaning either way. My take on putting up the post was not to debate rite or wrong but to say hey should there be a line somewhere where should d line be?[/quote]i guess there should be no line anywhere, it depends on understanding between the both of you.

i guess its no big deal depending on the kind of relationship you are into and probably the way she said it, you just didnt like it, i can wash plates and even clothes if necessary but i guess i wouldnt need to be told to do it if i have to do it. now its like the both of you are struggling for authority in your relationship, and thats quite unhealthy.

sexxxxy:
I tire for this Almondjoy sef,The guy just asked a simple advice,not insult and u always seem to have insult for everyone,do u think it makes u hot and cool?
Zheroes said it all,it gives a clear and true picture of who you're,

Back to the Topic @ Zheroes,its a really tough one because if u ve been praying for a breakthru all this while ,u might mistake any help for breakthru,which u cannot be blamed for,u could take the money and make sure your current girlfriend knows about it all the way,but before u do let your ex know you're only borrowing it and u intend to pay back as soon as u can,and see her reaction.
Bear in mind,that 6 thousand pounds might seem a lot now,but it wont be worth the trouble that might happen later on,and also a woman that stays with u when you're at your very low is a gem[b][/b],trust me ,i'm a woman and i know how it is,

Goodluck in your decision

thanks so much. this seems a better option, from a level headed and sane lady. THANK YOU.

almondjoy:
Na Judge Judy good for all these kinds of topics!


Men! Always looking for "awoof"!!!!! If the girl abroad swears for his whole family now--people will say she is bad. If the current girlfriend swears for him too--people will call her a witch. Meanwhile these sufferhead--never smell success men will go about dribbling women about.


When he gets abroad now he will jump into the bed of the first Security agent with "golden" tooth he finds at the airport there looking for "green card" or "white card" whatever it is called there.

Anyway--I blame women. When you have broken up--I think you should stay "broken up". If you feel like some "charity work", volunteer at your church. I am sure 6 thousand pounds can be used to pay a lifetime of tithes to purchase salvation anywhere in this world.

Rubbish!!!!!! No wonder bad luck follows him everywhere he goes. This dude is cursed for using people all over the place.

What is there to be confused about?

hey woman!!!!!, learn to read threads thoroughly before posting, a friend is in a situation and am confused on giving either options, i simply asked you a question that is if you care to respond, a lot of people, i mean sane people read and never felt like commenting, whats your problem. you sound so much like a single mother of three, cursing and yelling the life out of your situation, thats not a better way to respond, are you not aware that the way you respond to people online gives a clear and true picture of who you are, common woman be a lady, most of your posts on nairaland are filled with insults , where did you grow up? most likely OSHODI market, or you had a bad day selling your wares?. i guess there are better ways to exhibit madness.

ThoniaSlim:
You seem to be so sure. are you sure its a friend and not you?

no, obviously not me, but i wont be wrong to call him a brother, i mean we are that close.

thanks for your response lady.

A friend broke up with his ex-girlfriend some 4years ago and a year after she travelled to UK for her post graduate studies, since then life has not been fair to him, i mean a guy that had a car, a parcel of land in one of naija's major cities, a flat he rented,all of a sudden went completely broke. (am not going to be too detailed so we dont end up sleeping here).

situations got so bad that he lost everything he had, so bad that he had to go back to his father's house. whatever business he got involved in always went wrong, as jobs could not easily be fetched. before his situation got so bad he was already dating an undergraduate and they 've both been believing God for something great

sometime last year friend's raised some money so he could travel to the UK for his post-graduate studies but he was denied a visa cos it was said they were unsure if he actually was going to study.

sometime in december, his ex' mum called like she has always been doing, and asked hope they still communicate, he was like well since she travelled they lost contact, but he believes she still has his number, just last month(january) she called and was like: what up and stuff, life ,blah blah? and then she asked if he still intends to study overseas cos i guess they both had that in mind before they broke up, he said actually but that his major constraints has been finances.

she offered to assist him with $12000(six thousand pounds) for his studies and intends to send her papers: passport, tenancy agreement, and bank statement so he could get a visa come september.

the problem now: what happens to his present girlfriend that has stuck with him thru thick and thin, that has been praying along side him believing God for something beyond the ordinary? what i know is accepting the money is accepting her back, since he cannot eat his cake and have it,guys and girls what are your views? whats the best option for this young man cos am pretty confused here.

MY GUY, NO BE BY LYRICS OH, do you know how many we sang, the sms's, just be real man.

most likely i will be fishing with the oldest of grandpa's canoe, take my dog on a walk or stay in the zoo playing with the animals till the early hours of the morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hey sister,
you are not far from the truth, despite that we all can, if we believe and have the right resources, will make good fortunes from doing what suits us best, and doing it legitimately though.

MLM:am not a fan,  i can't be one,it doesnt mean it aint working for somebody, life is about risk, in this age and time you coud do everything indoors and your neighbours will call you lazy if you aint making money, and when you do people call you a yahoo boy or whatever name they deem appropriate.

i for one never had the notion that working hard makes you wealthy, you still could, but----------, anything can still happen because any uncaculated risk is gambling, i really don't want to get stuck in a job where i wont be happy afterall. you may though, just my opinion.

conclusively, i guess everybody should do whatever works best for them. PLEASE BE LEGIT.

because you've given her a gun and a bullet, and she doesnt want to be a murderer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bennygee:
if she no gree,
put three tablets of Valium 5 for her drink.
she go sleep fast then make u arrange am sharp sharp.
if she wake up make u beg am.chikena

poster,
this is never an option, its better you call it quit if you cant cope anymore.

its possible for some people, i did it for one year some 6years back,with somebody i really loved , but not too long i started cheating on her, right now i cant try it for one week. safest bet dont get into a relationship if you dont want sex, or you have made plans to get married in 6months time.

hisson3:
like i said, u are a distraction and bluntly dull, i wonder if you even have school cerificate, well! let me enlighten you, 1 tonne of AGO = 1,164 LITRES of diesel, block head and i did not tell you i made a profit of $800,000,000 rather it will cost us about that estimate to carry out the transaction for 7 months, and for your info, if truly you retired at a young age from doing oil biz, what are u still looking for in this segment of nairaland, rather you shuld be at the tv/ entertainment section,block head! ! !i'm sure you are a yahoo boy!!!!, please and please, clear your weary, retired bones, and let honest nigerians do real business.

[quote author=hisson3 link=topic=106791.msg1877185#msg1877185 date=1201031841]while you are busy calculating mathematics, i'm busy making my millions, stay there, just today, for your info, i closed a deal with my client for 1,000,000MT,(let me interprete for you if you don't know english)one million metric tonnes of diesel to china for the next 7 months,it will cost us about $800,ooo,000,so this is to let you know this business is for big boys and not small scale farmers like you, so pleeeeease, clear your old bones, and let some honest agnosians do real business with serious minded folks on this forum.

.[/quote]sorry man