I really want to know because the Bible verses that talk about submission do not really expantiate on what it means for a woman to submit to her husband.
In Ephesians 5:22 - 24, Paul starts on the subject of husbands and wives with this statement, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church; and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything."

What does the term 'submission' entail? Does it mean women should seek the approval of their husbands before they take any decision in life? Does it mean the husband is the one that is supposed to decide whatever major step the wife takes in life? Please I need to understand.

1. Men: What does submission mean to you? How do you expect a submissive wife to act?

2. Women: What things do you need to do to be regarded as a submissive wife?

Thanks for your contributions.

submission is a gift my wife chooses to give me...it's a free will, a decision she's made to be led by me, to accept my authority and to be my helper whenever i need aid.

coogar: submission is a gift my wife chooses to give me...it's a free will, a decision she's made to be led by me, to accept my authority and to be my helper whenever i need aid.

Ok. But what does accepting your authority mean to you? Does it mean that you get the final say in all the processes of decision making?

All i require to be a submissive wife is that my husband respects me as much as i respect him....and all will be well!!

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Ok. But what does accepting your authority mean to you? Does it mean that you get the final say in all the processes of decision making?

very good question.....
my headship is actually a matter of responsibility and accountability - this is where african men generally screw things up. in sane climes, the head serves his subjects, in africa, the head wants to be served. accepting my authority means she cannot resist my will. this does not mean she cannot express her fears or disagree with some of my decisions...she's my helper not a doormat!

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Ok. But what does accepting your authority mean to you? Does it mean that you get the final say in all the processes of decision making?

Let me answer that question too....YES, my hubby have the final say...men likes to play that role and some men feel very umm small or irresponsible especially when they don't make enough and mostly needs their other half's help/support in household expenses...

Even though it doesn't work for me...I always let it slide.of-course I'm not a dummy and I have a voice too but I just let him make more final says than I do, It helps a lot in a marriage, somebody has to make the sacrifice.

I don't even have that time to talk too much serious stuff so he does it and run it by me first.

slimyem: All i require to be a submissive wife is that my husband respects me as much as i respect him....and all will be well!!

Very straightforward and to the point.
If your spouse agrees with this concept of submission then no problem at all!

Most men won't though.

coogar:

very good question.....
my headship is actually a matter of responsibility and accountability - this is where african men generally screw things up. in sane climes, the head serves his subjects, in africa, the head wants to be served. accepting my authority means she cannot resist my will. this does not mean she cannot express her fears or disagree with some of my decisions...she's my helper not a doormat!

This was nice to read.
Accepting a guy like you as the head would not be difficult at all

Most men see leadership as having the final say in everything regarding decision making. Any major step cannot be taken in the house unless they agree to it. I wanted to know if you are one of those men that was why I asked.

jidegirl12:

Let me answer that question too....YES, my hubby have the final say...men likes to play that role and some men feel very umm small or irresponsible especially when they don't make enough and mostly needs their other half's help/support in household expenses...

Even though it doesn't work for me...I always let it slide.of-course I'm not a dummy and I have a voice too but I just let him make more final says than I do, It helps a lot in a marriage, somebody has to make the sacrifice.

I don't even have that time to talk too much serious stuff so he does it and run it by me first.

When you say that he runs it by you first, do you mean that he always sees to it that you agree with his decisions before implementing them?

there's nothing wrong in the men having a final say too.....if a wife raises her fears and the husband insists on his own opinion, the wife should accept his will without malice(she's a helper). if everything goes to plan, then the two of them should be proud of what they collectively achieved with their decision. if the plan fails, the two of them should dust themselves, go back to the drawing board and try again. there should be no "i told you so" + "you should have listened to me"....they should succeed together and fail together!

hmmmm

hmmmm

hmmmmm

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Very straightforward and to the point.
If your spouse agrees with this concept of submission then no problem at all!

Most men won't though.

You do know that the RESPECT thing is encompassing..right?
Maybe most men won't...but i wouldn't even be with a man that does not respect me in the first place so this concept will very much work.

Submission to me is very simple: ACCEPT HIS HEADSHIP.............just like d way Jesus is d head of d church.

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When you say that he runs it by you first, do you mean that he always sees to it that you agree with his decisions before implementing them?

I don't have to agree with it I can only give my own ideas and suggestions , I trust his instincts ..... running it by me is showing me respect and not just shock me with a new executed project I don't know anything about initially....and that's just satisfying for me.

To answer the main question

Submissive woman is all about Respect in every aspect...and I do expect the same in return.

[Double post

coogar: there's nothing wrong in the men having a final say too.....if a wife raises her fears and the husband insists on his own opinion, the wife should accept his will without malice(she's a helper).

The thing is, men cannot ALWAYS be right. No human can always be right. Sometimes you are right and sometimes you are wrong; that is how life works so it might be wiser for the husband to let his wife have the final say sometimes. The woman might also be more knowledgeable or experienced in certain things they want to decide on.

It might also be that the wife is more intellectually sound than the husband (she might be smarter than him-yes it is possible) and I think this would make her better at decision making than him.

if everything goes to plan, then the two of them should be proud of what they collectively achieved with their decision. if the plan fails, the two of them should dust themselves, go back to the drawing board and try again. there should be no "i told you so" + "you should have listened to me"....they should succeed together and fail together!

That is easier said than done. Why should they BOTH return to the drawing board when the man was the one who made a mistake.

@OP. What I see is that you are here to look for justification for/to resist what you know the bible is saying in those verses. There are these verses in the bible (OT) where God said the woman's vows to God are subject to the husbands approval (or her father's if a spinster); that if he disapproves such vows are not binding on her. In other words if a wife makes & pays a vow to God without the husband's approval that vow is a nullity: futile.
Does this make any sense?

jidegirl12:

I don't have to agree with it I can only give my own ideas and suggestions , I trust his instincts ..... running it by me is showing me respect and not just shock me with a new executed project I don't know anything about initially....and that's just satisfying for me.

@bold, as long as you are ok with it then it's all good.
Thanks for your contribution.

coogar: there's nothing wrong in the men having a final say too.....if a wife raises her fears and the husband insists on his own opinion, the wife should accept his will without malice(she's a helper). if everything goes to plan, then the two of them should be proud of what they collectively achieved with their decision. if the plan fails, the two of them should dust themselves, go back to the drawing board and try again. there should be no "i told you so" + "you should have listened to me"....they should succeed together and fail together!

No pointing fingers....I just laugh(when he's not looking )cos I know I had nothing to do with it in the first place...very funny...marriage is just fun I tell ya

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Why should they BOTH return to the drawing board when the man was the one who made a mistake.

I agree with you on this. The man should know that being head means the buck stops @ his table. Even if the wife decides to "help him" bear bear the blame.

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@bold, as long as you are ok with it then it's all good.
Thanks for your contribution.

You are very confused

Didn't you just saw my post said I do not have to be okay with it?? jeezz!! and just telling me is just my satisfaction!! AH!

Mowire: @OP. What I see is that you are here to look for justification for/to resist what you know the bible is saying in those verses. There are these verses in the bible (OT) where God said the woman's vows to God are subject to the husbands approval (or her father's if a spinster); that if he disapproves such vows are not binding on her. In other words if a wife makes & pays a vow to God without the husband's approval that vow is a nullity: futile.
Does this make any sense?

@bold, that was not my reason for starting this thread, please don't get paranoid. I wanted to get different points of view from people and to see if it is possible to rationalize these poinys of view.

jidegirl12:

You are very confused

That was uncalled for.

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That was uncalled for.

I meant with my post....you seem very defensive...I am not in fighting mood now abeg.. too early

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The thing is, men cannot ALWAYS be right. No human can always be right. Sometimes you are right and sometimes you are wrong; that is how life works so it might be wiser for the husband to let his wife have the final say sometimes. The woman might also be more knowledgeable or experienced in certain things they want to decide on.

of course, men cannot always be right.....and when he is wrong, the partner should come to his aid. she is expected to work with her partner to put things right and minimize the consequences rather than using them to prove a point or as an excuse for rejecting him in some way. a man who has a submissive wife acquires a greater sense of self respect because he knows that she respects his authority in her life and she is not in any way trying to belittle him.

It might also be that the wife is more intellectually sound than the husband (she might be smarter than him-yes it is possible) and I think this would make her better at decision making than him.

if a man already knows the woman he's married to is smarter than him, there won't be any argument. for instance, i am a quack in the kitchen - it's not possible for me to argue at what point should salt or pepper be added to a pot of stew. it's not my forte so whatever my wife decides to do won't be contested by me - she's superior in that field....same principle applies if the subject is my area of my specialisation!

That is easier said than done. Why should they BOTH return to the drawing board when the man was the one who made a mistake.

marriage is not a competiton.....it's a journey undertaken by the husband and the wife in which they have to take decisions on which road to take at every junction in their journey. there's going to be a time when the couple would desire taking different roads - this is where mutual respect is expected to kick in. if there's love between them, they would work it out between themselves which road to take. if they both decide on road 1, then road 1 it must be regardless of what the outcome is. they would either succeed together or fail together.......there's no shame in that!

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@bold, that was not my reason for starting this thread, please don't get paranoid. I wanted to get different points of view from people and to see if it is possible to rationalize these poinys of view.

No. I'm not getting paranoid.
Rationalize "these points of view" so that then what will happen?
IMO with God our points view do not matter in this thing.

jidegirl12:

I meant with my post....you seem very defensive...I am not in fighting mood now abeg.. too early

What is making me 'seem defensive'? Am I supposed to just ignore a person that calls me confused?
I am not trying to be defensive.

I think you should have worded your post differently, maybe by saying that I don't understand what you wrote instead of saying that I am very confused.

marriage is not a competiton.....it's a journey undertaken by the husband and the wife in which they have to take decisions in which road to take at every junction in their journey. there's a going to be a time when the couple would desire taking different roads - this is where mutual respect is expected to kick in. if there's love between them, they would work it out between themselves which road to take. if they both decide on road 1, then road 1 it must be regardless of what the outcome is. they would either succeed together or fail together.......

Yes I agree, marriage is not a competition.
But you know in your initial post you said that the woman should let the husband have the final say in decision making regardless of whether she agrees with his decision and that if the decision fails they should BOTH return to the drawing board that was why I made that comment. Your comment above however, is different from the one you made earlier because you say that they should fail together if they both agree on a decision together.
Initially you said that they should do this even if the man is making a decision the woman doesn't agree with.

Mowire:
No. I'm not getting paranoid.
Rationalize "these points of view" so that then what will happen?
IMO with God our points view do not matter in this thing.

Shouldn't our actions be logical before we decide to follow them? Should they not make sense to us first? Do we just follow them for following sake?

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What is making me 'seem defensive'? Am I supposed to just ignore a person that calls me confused?
I am not trying to be defensive.

I think you should have worded your post differently, maybe by saying that I don't understand what you wrote instead of saying that I am very confused.

I am lazy sometimes and I don't like abbreviations...sorry...moving on what does it take from you if he makes the final decision....he is the one with the headache ...that's just the way I see it o....as long as it doesn't affect my own personal stuff which he doesn't really care, everybody is happy, all I need is updates and he is very good doing that.

I have kids to raise, mounted office work and it never stops , whatever he decides ...AYE AYE!

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Yes I agree, marriage is not a competition.
But you know in your initial post you said that the woman should let the husband have the final say in decision making regardless of whether she agrees with his decision and that if the decision fails they should BOTH return to the drawing board that was why I made that comment.

you still don't get it.....
whatever decision the husband takes must have the wife's blessings. of course, she might not have agreed at first but the husband was able to convince her to let them do it his way. the argument had stopped - they made a decision to take one road....it's now their decision not his decision. there were 2 roads - obviously, one of them must change his/her decision for the other party. the most important thing is that they both agreed to proceed with the decision they have taken.

Your comment above however, is different from the one you made earlier because you say that they should fail together if they both agree on a decision together.
Initially you said that they should do this even if the man is making a decision the woman doesn't agree with.

she has to submit to his will.
husband wants to buy oranges, wife wants to buy apples. husband insisted on buying oranges....the wife must submit to his will and let him buy the oranges. by doing this, no party has been disrespected or belittled.....it's an arbitrary decision taken regardless of the outcome by both parties!

if the oranges now purge the husband making him go to the loo every 5 mins, all they need to do is go back to the market and buy apples. although, the husband took the wrong decision but they have learnt from the mistakes, corrected it and they have moved on without anyone getting bruised or disrespected. moreover, they are also not stuck in one position still arguing if buying apple is a better choice than getting oranges.

coogar:

very good question.....
my headship is actually a matter of responsibility and accountability - this is where african men generally screw things up. in sane climes, the head serves his subjects, in africa, the head wants to be served. accepting my authority means she cannot resist my will. this does not mean she cannot express her fears or disagree with some of my decisions...she's my helper not a doormat!

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