Back in skool den (AAU, ekp), I was expectin my cuz who was comin to visit for the 1st time. He called when he got to the description I gave him. Being that it was his 1st time and my place was kinda hidden, I had to go to the junctn 2pick him. I was together with my hostelmate in my room at that moment, so I left him to quickly pick my cuz from the junction.

My cuz had complain of hunger when he came in, I went to my cupboard to dish the remaining yam porridge I earlier prepared for him, only to get dia and meet an empty pot (my guy don wire d food). I just smiled2my self and said "bros food don finish make i arrange indomie4u na?". Of which he oblidged.

Seee cry for my face o lol

Well my own experience was back in the school days, when you have to go to your neighbours rooms to collect some things and they would be asking you 'shey o so fun won nile pe o ti ni admission ni(did you not tell them at home that you have gotten an admission). The other part I still remember was wen you have to stay with your frying pan in the kitchen all in the name of frying meat.

I THINK IT IS TIME 4 ME TOO MOVE, ALL DIS THINGS DON TIRE MAN 4 FACE ME I face u

tarawill: What's the meaning of this .....,cuz in the states,where I'm from,ain't no bullshit like this.

Nah lie...infact there are ones more crazier dan face me,i face u dear lol

Pimples: This reminds me of one of my neighbours i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ a face M̶̲̥̅ε̲̣̣̣̥ n face U̶̲̥̅̊ house... where I used to live before,...
The man was a drunkard. So on this day, he was coming back from this drinking spree and was returning around 7:30am. (Every body in the coumpound was outside, doing stuff, children bathing, some brushing teeth ... )
meanwhile there is this gutter in front of the house. But the gutter is not so big. if you just strech your legs, you'll easily jump it.
So my neigbour was coming home and got to this gutter. Because of his drunken state, the gutter now appeared unusually large to him.
hence the man then decided to move back before attempting to jump this gutter. he then started moving back and back and back...... almost the beginning of the street ......about a 100 meters. and then started running as if he was contesting for WORLD JUMPING CHAMPIONSHIPS. all just to jump a very small gutter.Well he succeded and gave us all something to laugh about for the rest of the day...

lmao I could almost picture this

Legit1:

From your signature, I take it you are a fan of Tracy chapman.

That's a nice song btw

.

Na there we grow na, for ajegunle, the realllllll junglist, no try us oooo. You shall never be hungry, we have many friends, anytime my friend is eating an you are fortunate to be around o boy God don better your bread be dat oo, if hustle don show guys must follow, those day for face me i slap you when we dey play tabble soccer, ride on drums tank, build car with walkman tape radio, cunstruct nice building with mud sand, dis agree over age, na me senior you, na you senior me, i take 2days senior you then fight beging to know who really senior, anybody wey win na him senior, i am really missing those days but i never pray to go back there wahalai.

yuzedo:
ME? HELLLLLLL NOO! I live in a Banana[b] Iland[/b] house wit swiming pull and table-tennis lawn. But i heard fase my people normally used padlock to lock their pot of soup! huh wtf? we give uppppppp!

this fella is the biggest joker ive ever seen... with your diction the only way yu live in Banana island is if ur a house boy or gate-man and as such yu really shuldnt be looking down at others. your need for attention is another cause for concern...grow up!

btw there is nothing like a "table tennis lawn"... may God deliver you from lying. you probably meant tennis court...i cant believe no one else has picked up on your nonsense

jmichael: Menhh, u guys r hilarious. D landlord dat had to remove d door of his tenant, d guy dat went to use d toilet only for his shyt to ascend bck to his intestine etc. . .I'v also seen new words like 'ashawo key', 'shine your congo' etc. Oh lawddd, u guys av made my day. See me lafin like a mumu since. Abeg I no dey read again. My bele don dey pain me.

hahaha... I must have missed the one in boldface abeg which page e dey?

yuzedo:
*rolling*

But Palmgroovie, bro, don't you guys have a wa-shing mashing to wash your cloth? I know every homes in BANANA ISLAND have a wa-shine mashin to wash and dry your designer cloth.


Nitwit, bro, so your looking for gay patna?? Isn't Ijora Badya among the makoko place Fashola destroy? instead of looking for rent money ur looking man nyash, shiorr!

lol, man i never knew how a washing machine worked until last year o! na to dey continue dey ask 4 Gods provision sha

groovie:

lol, man i never knew how a washing machine worked until last year o! na to dey continue dey ask 4 Gods provision sha

Lmao! Eya...it is well! I follow thank Baba God.

Oahray: hahaha... I must have missed the one in boldface abeg which page e dey?

i dey come, i still get more, my housing experience in school was bitter sweet, sorta a 'laff hard' 'get mad hard' experience

Oahray: hahaha... I must have missed the one in boldface abeg which page e dey?

hey! no wori, am back now, my face me i face u experience was 'laff very hard' and get mad hard' it was sort of a bitter sweet experience those days in school. them nearly frustrate me die

bolayei: is it for only nigerian based? what about people wey dey stay for face me i face you for abroad e.g uk and usa u guys can contribute too

So face me I slap u dey for yankee too?

But those days we still no dey get dull moment because, daddy showkey na our local champion musician, naughty and wifey, saheed osupa for safejo, muri thunder for iyatuwo, na later danfo drivers guys and china con dey regin guys if you no get ajegule face me i slap you experince those days you have never come to the world to experince.

deviduff: At my former face-me hostel wen I was schoolin at ekp,one boy rented room. Gradually,all his friends joined him and b4 d end of d year,de were more than 10 in d room. Always drinkin schnapp,chelsea and smokin weed. So landlord said de should pack end of year. De refused 2 pack and even didn't pay rent. So landlord brought carpenter and removed their door. De hung bedsheet to cover there. Robbers came one day and their room being d 1st,decided 2 start wit dem. 1 of d robbers own was 2 run and use his leg to smash open d door. So tinkin there was a door,he jst ran and used leg to march d bedsheet de hung. He landed in d midst of many boys sleepin wit cigar butts,bottles of gin,and all. So he screamed and ran out and d rest robbers took off also. D boys became local heroes,and continued stayin like that witout still payin rent till I left d hostel.

Hmm MC Acapella's Joke.

these things happen alot in my former yard. Peeping to do what na? You wan enter set?

Idowuogbo:
Lwkmd!! Keep wat? U no tear am slap? U for finger stamp hin face. thief!

lol, make i tear 6 foot plus man slap? make e kick my asss? mehn when u dey face me i face u u just gat to swallow bullshit sometimes o

CHINE55:
Chai. See y I lov nairaland. Dem get face me I face u for abroad?

Yes na! That spiderman trilogy.... No b 4 face me I face spiderman dey live 4 that film?

kumbalo: these things happen alot in my former yard. Peeping to do what na? You wan enter set?
www.nairaland.com/attachments/1021479_295695_337135653055007_748890475_s_jpg8e5e5dad36b4ac13e8753793ac5bd055

OMFG!!!! WTFH?!!!!

LWKMD!!!!

This guy is fvcking nuts!!!

Idowuogbo:
Lmao! Eya...it is well! I follow thank Baba God.

yeah, tank God. btw u must be an Abeokuta babe.
Iyana mortuary?

tarawill: What's the meaning of this .....,cuz in the states,where I'm from,ain't no bullshit like this.

abeg shut up make we hear word jare,states ni local govt kor

Wow! Wow!! Wow!!! Face-Me-Face-U. Wen i was still in secondary school, i lived with a family. This family will only prepare stew once a week, with varieties like Shawa fish, 'Ponmo', meat, 'wara malu' all in d same pot. But this stew can finished any day of d week, even monday or tuesday, depending on d types of food prepared. But wat suprised me about this family is dat, d father can eat four meats at once, and also eat some maybe wen going to bathroom, or just coming from somewhere, but d wife and d children dear not eat more dan one meat and must not even av a bite any other time of d day. Even, sometimes, wen there is no much meat in d stew, d father will prefer eating meats only, while d children with eat no meat. This man is very stingy

There was this single mum that had two teenage daughters. one was hardworking (i call her sis A)and the other very lazy (sis B). One day sis A put water on fire to prepare garri. She went to have her bath as it was her turn on the bathroom queue. The water started boiling and sis B went all the way to the bathroom to knock the door to tell her that the water was boiling and ready to make the eba. Sis A out of annoyance and wrapped in only her towel came out of the bathroom to give sis B a dirty slap for being a lazy younger sis. Sis B in retaliation just yanked off sis A's towel and lo sis A was stark naked.come see free mojo. Everybody on the queue watch the film well ooo. But i just pitied sis A. She was really a nice hardworking person. Shit happens !

now i get small tiger gen to dey use entertain myself. after about a week i notice a serious drop in current anytime i put it on. person go even buy fuel like say im dey fetch water for d small gen. after spending almost double d amount i got d gen at the mechanic, i dumped it.
then one day, i wan fix antenna, i climb ceiling and OMG! one muther fucker dey tap my light exclusively to im room!
JESUS! this guy neva pays nepa bill, so i simply reconnect it and i set a trap.
i put the gen on the following nite and i caught the bastard! using my hard earned money. i ask am the guy say "bros na inverter"

gud old days.i remember face me i face mak i live den, na dere u go see 2 women dy quarell, mama oduwa go say na ur pikin shiit 4 here, den mama nosa go say na lie o! my pikin shiit no big/strong lik dat etc.. D whole experience ws crazy!!

groovie: now i get small tiger gen to dey use entertain myself. after about a week i notice a serious drop in current anytime i put it on. person go even buy fuel like say im dey fetch water for d small gen. after spending almost double d amount i got d gen at the mechanic, i dumped it.
then one day, i wan fix antenna, i climb ceiling and OMG! one muther fucker dey tap my light exclusively to im room!
JESUS! this guy neva pays nepa bill, so i simply reconnect it and i set a trap.
i put the gen on the following nite and i caught the bastard! using my hard earned money. i ask am the guy say "bros na inverter"

Lolzzzzzzzzzzz

yuzedo:
ME? HELLLLLLL NOO! I live in a Banana Iland house wit swiming pull and table-tennis lawn. But i heard fase my people normally used padlock to lock their pot of soup! huh wtf? we give uppppppp!

Excuse me perhaps I'm being ignorant here, but what is a table tennis lawn? I know of outdoor table tennis, I know of lawn tennis but "table tennis lawn" I have never heard of.

Part of my growing up was at okokomaiko in a reverse FMIFY. i.e the opposite rooms r back 2 back. No toilet, no kitchen, bathroom was palmfronds structure and the door was your mum's wrapper. No need to further explain toilet was shotput in an expanse of land behind the compound. Kitchen was just by your doorway.
3 rooms away was aunty chika- a prostitute. Behind was Baba ijebu an agbero who smokes igbo (I buy rizla for him). Iya Segun (RIP) sells paraga in front of the building. Papa Chika(RIP) was a footballer. Baba wata, father of 7 was a bus driver . Iya mosun mistress of an herbalist runs an hair dressing saloon in one of the shops, always bringing water to chill in our fridge.