It is indeed a sad story but please any decision you want to take, think twice. May God see you through at a time like this

bettymafy: Oooohh, so adultery has suddenly become a big deal on NL cos a woman is involved? Did u lot think that women do not have blood flowing in their veins?

No one is advising him on how to "satisfy his wife's sexual needs so she doesn't stray again"
"Be romantic and keep the love sizzling in his home"
"Make the marriage work because of their child"
"Fast and pray for the philandering wife to repent of her ways"

Now, its ok to divorce on d grounds of adultery?

Two faced hypocrites!!!

my tots exactly

Idowuogbo:
Haaa! U'll do the above to d woman ur daughter calls mummy?

Madam ID i weak for the guy o...

thw guy is not jack bauer but tony almeida

1stCitizen: OP,

Do a DNA test on your daughter for starters. It is rare for Nigerian women to cheat and there is nothing like mistake in such situations.

Be realistic. You cannot forgive her. It won't work even if you try, you will only drive yourself to depression and possible suicide when your head gets messed up or worse off, you will end up like that Arowolo chap that killed his banker wife. You try to forgive her and somehow images of her screaming oooh! ahhh! with another man whilst she was married to you will continue to haunt you and then your mind will start playing tricks on you. Unfortunately, that is the psychological make-up of every Nigerian man. Take it or leave it.

After the DNA test, whatever the result, DIVORCE her like yesterday. Even if the marriage was contracted in Japan, you can get divorce anywhere so long as you are resident there for some time.

you are so mean, do you have to potray the thing in such a graphic manner. Please let this man heal. Some naija men forgive.

WhyMe222:

One question I want answers to now is: our court marriage did not happen here in Lagos, can I file for dissolution of the union here in Lagos?

If this question is meant for me,i will advise you not to consider divorce at all ! Please do not divorce ur lovely wife !
I can tell you what to do to get rid of all ur worries and concerns and i promise u that after now,she will not go back to such life or act !
God help us.

CAMEROONPRIDE: BTW ARE YOU SURE THE BABY IS YOURS? A STUDY REVEALED THAT 55% OF NIGERIAN BABIES ARE BASTARDS , AND ALSO THAT NIGERIAN WOMEN ARE BIG CHEAT

dude stop quoting dodgy stats
I know of 30 percent and it is not only limited to Nigeria but worldwide

Can you please spare us your may God this and may go that

yoddy01:
you are so mean, do you have to potray the thing in such a graphic manner. Please let this man heal. Some naija men forgive.

But most people don't forget traumatic experiences.

moderatorr: all marriages that survived had stories if infidelities.
if it were your wife that caught you, will she divorce you?
if your answer is no, then why divorce her.

if you divorce, you have been unfair to your little girl.
she'll never ever have both parents again.
you too have destroyed your dignity.
a divorced man #lol
people will laugh at u.

Stop seeing man and woman to be equal. From the beginning man has been marrying more than one woman at the same time but no woman has married more than one man at the same time. People will laugh at him doesn't matter as far as the problem is solved.
Op, go for DNA test to be sure that the child is your and stay away from infidelity woman who is just starting her life career.

ola_pluto: A lazy advice will be for you to end the union. However, I think there's a way out. You've confessed she's now remorseful. I think you need a break. You need to go to a place where you will not see her or hear from her. You'll be surprised that you're actually incomplete without her. If she's got the beauty and brain as you've said, then she will not let it repeat itself.
Come back home to your wife after a month or so. You will be like a 'new signing' to each other. The feelings will start to regrow and you can actually pull this off. If you pull it off, you'll enjoy the rest of your marriage. If you pull out, you're only be more shattered. I feel your pain bro. But try to study her reactions to the incidence. Trust me if she's remorseful, she wont easily cheat on you again. The devil can use anyone, man or woman. Defeat the devil by holding on to your wife bro.

THIS!

IYA NGBALI: are you one of those 55?I'm just curious

Excellent question.

jackbauersballs: Before I divorce the olosho, I would feign forgiveness.
Then secretely begin to destroy every thing she holds dear...


I would seduce her mom

Get her younger sister pregnant

Clean out her bank accounts

Arrange for her to get fired from work

make a sextape with her and post it on the internet

Then finally divorce her and take custody of the kid after revealing that it was ME who fcked her up...

I hate these gaddem oloshos mehn...

As for that 'friend'...he can expect broken ankles/elbows,and kneecaps

may God have mercy on you.

hmmm...I read this post with great despair...

Back in the Nigerian days, it was almost an abomination for a married woman to be seen alone with a man who wasnt her husband not to talk of cheating...

Fast forward to this present day Nigeria, some women has suddenly sent all morals to the dogs, keeping male frnds and infact sleeping with them...what a shame!

What can i say OP? Be strong atleast for your daughter. Don't loose your sanity to such a woman, she isn't worth it at all...

Stay well, God's blessings rest on you today and always!

successking:

Stop seeing man and woman to be equal. From the beginning man has been marrying more than one woman at the same time but no woman has married more than one man at the same time. People will laugh at him doesn't matter as far as the problem is solved.
Op, go for DNA test to be sure that the child is your and stay away from infidelity woman who is just starting her life career.

Are you trying to justify a man cheating? This is the problem with most men, you feel you are superior. Ever heard of polyandry? MEN = WOMEN . No one is superior. We both have brains.

This is really painful...God give me the grace not to cheat on my future husband esp during trials and temptations...its like murdering him while he sleeps wrapped in my arms.God help us all.

My brother, I feel your pain and know that ONLY DEVIL can penetrate into a happy home to destroy it.

To me, since you stated that you love your wife, I urge you to take her for deliverance, possibly SCOAN and you will be surprised to find out that it wasn't her,but the evil one inside her.
When she is delivered, you will be surprised that you will not be nursing the feelings of hatred on her but love after forgiveness.
Note that no 2 perfect people on the face of this earth. The devil you know is better than the one out there.
People telling you to throw her out, most of them, their wives, do more than what your wife did.
True Forgiveness backed by God, will not give you pain. Please forgive, I know it hurts, God will heal the wound.

successking:

Stop seeing man and woman to be equal. From the beginning man has been marrying more than one woman at the same time but no woman has married more than one man at the same time. People will laugh at him doesn't matter as far as the problem is solved.
Op, go for DNA test to be sure that the child is your and stay away from infidelity woman who is just starting her life career.

Man has never and was not marrying more than one woman from the beginning ! May be i should ask you from which beginning ? Man and woman has always been equal ! They both have same spirit ! They only have different approaches to things cos of the instructions given to them. If the woman is allowed to function freely,she will function as a man if not better than a man! Advise the OP positively and also i thank God for the life of the Op who said he has never been unfaithful to his wife since they got married ! @ OP,pls do not heed to the advises of people you are 'better off' !
God help us

andyanders: My brother, I feel your pain and know that ONLY DEVIL can penetrate into a happy home to destroy it.

To me, since you stated that you love your wife, I urge you to take her for deliverance, possibly SCOAN and you will be surprised to find out that it wasn't her,but the evil one inside her.
When she is delivered, you will be surprised that you will not be nursing the feelings of hatred on her but love after forgiveness.
Note that no 2 perfect people on the face of this earth. The devil you know is better than the one out there.
People telling you to throw her out, most of them, their wives, do more than what your wife did.
True Forgiveness backed by God, will not give you pain. Please forgive, I know it hurts, God will heal the wound.

what do you mean by the bolded? shey u've never heard that the heart of man is desperately wicked? Most evils come from within the mind of people. .

So sorry @op dat dis happened 2 u.

There are however 2 ways to go about this. Ur heart will never truly heal, but u can make it feel better.

Option 1 is immediate divorce.

Option 2, 4give her n make her life a living hell.
Vengeance works magic with broken hearts.
After u have tortured her to a point pity will take over and u myt start loving her again.

Option 2 will make or break her, but either way u will regain ur heart.

cinder66: I realy feel for you, what more can kill a man faster than an infidel and ungrateful wife. Divorce her asap and take ur daughter far away from her reach. Now what is her gain cos am sure the cork did not stick in her punny for more than 30min. No wonder some men call us fish brains, if she no marry now, she go D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ cry foul. Mtcheeeeeeeeew

very much on point....and it is so disheartening to know that majority of today ladies are wired to act like this lady in question, courtesy of: modern media (NOLLYWOOD/HOLLYWOOD films, musical videos, social network) and general societal influence that has now murdered the desire to be faithful by today ladies (the 21st century ladies), sighs. OP, just take heart and learn not to love unnecessarily in this life cos the only trusted friend you have in life is YOU

yoddy01:
Are you trying to justify a man cheating? This is the problem with most men, you feel you are superior. Ever heard of polyandry? MEN = WOMEN . No one is superior. We both have brains.

successking:

Stop seeing man and woman to be equal. From the beginning man has been marrying more than one woman at the same time but no woman has married more than one man at the same time. People will laugh at him doesn't matter as far as the problem is solved.
Op, go for DNA test to be sure that the child is your and stay away from infidelity woman who is just starting her life career.

una wan cum start another thing for here...

yoddy01:
Are you trying to justify a man cheating? This is the problem with most men, you feel you are superior. Ever heard of polyandry? MEN = WOMEN . No one is superior. We both have brains.

Until you see man as God has created him and endowed him with unrestricted liberty, you will pass on the route of adultery on the grand that if a man does it a woman can do it, and you end up throwing your dignity to the wired destructive fire of life. May God open your understanding.

Dats one thing i like from muslim pple , they cover dem up with parachute & mark dem bomba 2 bomba bcs if u give dem little chance, dem fly.... U think all dat makeups dey're puttin' on is only 4u?. Guy just leave d matter somewhere... & take her back u ll destroy d life of dat little gal if u divorce her..

For the religious freaks on here going God this,God that,divorce is not an option & so on & so forth even your Bible makes it unequivocally clear that adultery is a divorce carrying sin..
Matthew 19:9 ESV
And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for s3xual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
So please spare us all these forgive & forget stories.It's not cutting it. That's entirely up to the bloke to make that decision.

That's always the issue with men who are fond of marrying beautiful women as wives,forgetting that beautiful women are objects of attraction to every guy.

P.S(for the single guys)
Do not marry a beautiful woman if u aint got all it takes financially,emotionally,physically to satisfy her.

I hate to read people comment and asking the aggrieved if he has checked himself, perphaps maybe he was the cause of the matter. someone has committed fornication and u're asking to know the other parties contribution, its sounds annoying, let call a spade, a spade. even if the husband is a perfectionist or has fall short of some expectation does that give the wife the room to fornicate, what happened to marriage vows. Am sorry to say this; these days women fornicates more, I wonder why they can just ignore flirting men with sweet mouth, this men knows they're married but will still go ahead and rubbish them. Haassssssssssh a married woman with kids sleeping around with another man, opening her legs for another married man and even single men, what foolishness, and a disgusting act. Women are just insatisfiable most times, always complaining one thing or the other, only God will safe us men.

@ why me, I understand your plight my brother, its a messy issue, and the thought of it, crazy, but this is my advice, give it more time because of ur daugther say like 2yrs, it may be rather too early to give up, its the devil at work and he needs be put to shame. its a had decision to take especially when it has to be a divorce, but for the sake of Christ our father and your daughter pls try ignore divorce for now. These're trying times for you most especially and for your daughter upbringing and future, if you go separate ways now and u leave her with your wife she would have been denied her fatherly love. Sin came to this world through women and its has since been.
Sit ur wife down, purge her of her secrets in this respect, ask her to tell u more worst things she may have done, give her the chance to let it out and the reasons she did so, try to know the full details. This will be very had to admit but pls u need to be strong now.

sorry friend,
you are just discovering what women really are.
they are very quick at querying why you skipped church yet they can be as dirty as sleeping with same pastor, in his church office.

yoddy01:
Are you trying to justify a man cheating? This is the problem with most men, you feel you are superior. Ever heard of polyandry? MEN = WOMEN . No one is superior. We both have brains.

WOMEN = chicken brain
The nigerian society frowns at adulterous women! if dem born you well try polyandry for here!!!

Poster,
Let me say that i feel your pains. I am of the opinion that you will not be able to make any sound decison about your situation now nor anytime in the near future. I am of the opinion that you should allow time to run its course over the whole thing before any serious decisons. If i were in your shoes, i will live in separation from her to avoid continous exposure to the risk of deseases and also to heal my pain.Mind you there is no guaranty that another woman you marry now will not do same thing in future. So for me if the lessons she will learn from the shame of her acts brings out a new woman in her, the mother of your daughter might just be your best bet at the end. Best of luck.

OP, Just understand that it is well. Divorce is not an option here. You really need to sit down and seek the face of God concerning this matter. Think about all the good things that you guys share together, her streght and that exceptional thing that makes her stand out from among other women. Think about those days that she makes you happy and dont let her wrong over shadow your sense of jugdment. Let it go and know that the grace to forgive and forget is embedded inside of you. You are the head of your house and what you say or do at this time will determine how far this relationship will go. The enemy will not be able to break your marriage unless you decide to make it happen.

Trust God at this time and know that He is faithful and He will forgive, heal and restore everything that the devil stole from you.

You can make it happen, just see her through the eyes of God.

Its well my brother

my wife has it all; beauty and brains

this is where your problem is