If truly, the OP isnt of nigerian or african origin, then the responses so far hasnt done any

good in portraying the friendly nature that he (the OP) has come to know. I was brought up under

a doctrine of answering a question with a real answer and not question nor any other unrelated statement


I for one cannot ascertain whether or not he is of Nigerian or african ethnicity based on his writing structure.

Apparently some people on this site can, Amazing!!!!


@ OP


Erm, going to be honest with you. The answer to your question lies within you. We dont have a clue what the girl

in question is like. So we dont know for sure if she is genuine or not. Best thing is follow your heart??

op, are you Mr. Cork or 190?

At OP, that your hand is not oyibo hand.

It's even same color of my hand.

2. Oyibo hands are whiter than that.

3. The background shows u did some color changes to to pic. The paper u used to write your name shows less color quality.

4. Your English

5. Who talked anything about Igbo. Why not Hausa?

6. This is your first post and you jumped straight to romance section.

7. You know how to reply nairalanders politely even when they are cussing. only old nairalanders knows the trick
I could go on and on, anyway...
Good job though in the entertainment.

I have not seen anything American in your sentence constructions.

BTW, has anyone seen a typical American forum before? They dont write like this.

Am very sure this guy is a Nigerian. He had the fun he seeked. Congrats OP.

Leave dis guy to keep deceiving himself, not me. Oyibo ko arab ni, mtscheeew

TrickofTech:

Would have been great. But you have got to think about it from my point of view...there were family members in the house. If I tried something and she was not up for it...I could have made things very awkward.

You either hit it or you dont hit it. The last thing we want is you coming here to say you could have hit that but had reservations

But to stay on track, hit that... and hit it good. She wants it, you want it... so go for it

Dont dull

TrickofTech:

I am not black. This is why I am NOT using the "N" word. White guys cant say "N".

...also...do you think I would have gone to Nigeria if I was the sort of person who used the "N" word!...no is the answer...I am not racist.

(I know you guys call it "Du Du!" or "Do Do" in Naija anyways!)

guy ur lie no be here oh,chai see as dis guy just they lie 4 here and some people are so gullible as f**k,nairalanders pls as braniacs go through all the post of this guy and tell me if dis luks like wat a so called (oyinbo)wuld for you Op kip up d lie sh**t u ve got,insuch from today ur name na 'lion of the tribe of nairaland'.if u say u dont use N word,we go use the 'C' word for you,CRACKER,smh and Lol

oh boy you sure say u no b Albino cuz the oix I'm seeing name albino hand o lol

moonraker: If truly, the OP isnt of nigerian or african origin, then the responses so far hasnt done any

good in portraying the friendly nature that he (the OP) has come to know. I was brought up under

a doctrine of answering a question with a real answer and not question nor any other unrelated statement


I for one cannot ascertain whether or not he is of Nigerian or african ethnicity based on his writing structure.

Apparently some people on this site can, Amazing!!!!


@ OP


Erm, going to be honest with you. The answer to your question lies within you. We dont have a clue what the girl

in question is like. So we dont know for sure if she is genuine or not. Best thing is follow your heart??

Thank you. Like I have said...I can upload another picture if people realllllly want me to. It is a little sad that I have to go to this much effort to prove who I am when all I wanted was some advice. I guess it is okay for people to be suspicious though.
________________________________________________

The girl in question is Yoruba, first born, christian (born again) and a secretary. She is very outgoing and friendly...very loud! She was the sort of girl who doesn't take any shit from people. She did absolutely everything in the house for her family...cooking, cleaning and washing. She was very kind and thoughtful.

She wasn't amazingly beautiful...and she seemed pretty high maintenance!...someone who would nag a lot!
...despite this I really liked her. I was fascinated by her.

Perhaps she enjoyed the attention I was giving her in the house...without ever liking me in that way.

Atheist:-D:


You either hit it or you dont hit it. The last thing we want is you coming here to say you could have hit that but had reservations

But to stay on track, hit that... and hit it good. She wants it, you want it... so go for it

Dont dull

Yes I know...I should have hit it, but I didn't : (

I still think if I had tried...things would have ended badly:

1.) She is born again...probably ain't into premarital fun
2.) She was never interested...and it would make things very awkward for the rest of my stay
3.) Her family would find out immediately (we were in the same house)...and kill me

I was very tricky to get her on her own in the house. She was always shadowed by her ma...particularly when I was about! Even so, I wish I had taken her aside and told her how much I liked her. Before I left. Would have been nice for her to know.

TrickofTech:

Yes I know...I should have hit it, but I didn't : (

I still think if I had tried...things would have ended badly:

1.) She is born again...probably ain't into premarital fun
2.) She was never interested...and it would make things very awkward for the rest of my stay
3.) Her family would find out immediately (we were in the same house)...and kill me

I was very tricky to get her on her own in the house. She was always shadowed by her ma...particularly when I was about! Even so, I wish I had taken her aside and told her how much I liked her. Before I left. Would have been nice for her to know.

Boooooring. If you aint gonna hit it then dont bore us with tales of "should I or shouldnt I have done it". Get back to me when the deed has taken place with lots of inside info and juicy descriptive analysis.

PS: If she is religious, dont get too excited, it might be a lot of hard work.

99cent: @TrickofTech,you say that she is older than you. how old are you? Maybe it's best for you just to remain as friends.

it seems clear to me that she likes you although of course i'm sure she also is dreamy about traveling abroad. What I don't know is if she liked u because u r white or for other reasons. I don't know you so I can't tell. If she's 30 then also, it may be getting difficult for her to find a husband. i'm sure her parents are hinting at u if they call u in-law or husband. LOL

sometimes, being good friends is good enough. and I like that you are being smart about all of this and thinking carefully.

Thank you very much : ) A good response. I am late twenties, she is 30. You have summarized all of my anxieties in your post! I know that Yoruba women are encouraged to marry quickly...if you get to 30+ without being married...Yoruba women start to panic a bit. I know that she wants to travel abroad...something she has tried before and is dreamy about. I am also very aware that some Nigerians just enjoy the novelty of whiteness. On top of that, I am well aware of how hard their living conditions are...and that I live in the developed world and have a good job.

Now you see how I am finding it hard. I want to be with someone who appreciates me for who I am. I am in no doubt that she liked me...and appreciated my personality...but to the stage of being in a romantic relationship? :\

Whenever she flirted with me in Nigeria, I would really enjoy it for a moment and then remind myself that deep down, her motivations are probably:
- Access to money
- A way of getting a green card
- A way of getting married fast
- Just interest in the white man

...I never found out if she really liked me...or if I was the list above.

Atheist:-D:


Boooooring. If you aint gonna hit it then dont bore us with tales of "should I or shouldnt I have done it". Get back to me when the deed has taken place with lots of inside info and juicy descriptive analysis.

PS: If she is religious, dont get too excited, it might be a lot of hard work.

HaHa! Dirty mind.

She was super religious...so all of this is probably irrelevant, because she would have said no.

As I have said, it is very unlikely that I could of 'tapped it' without causing a lot of agro.
Besides, I really cared about her and her family when I was out there. They treated me as their own. So I didn't ever seriously consider it...it would have pissed a lot of people off.

Vikin: At OP, that your hand is not oyibo hand.

It's even same color of my hand.

2. Oyibo hands are whiter than that.

3. The background shows u did some color changes to to pic. The paper u used to write your name shows less color quality.

4. Your English

5. Who talked anything about Igbo. Why not Hausa?

6. This is your first post and you jumped straight to romance section.

7. You know how to reply nairalanders politely even when they are cussing. only old nairalanders knows the trick
I could go on and on, anyway...
Good job though in the entertainment.

1.) I can assure you it is an oyinbo hand...do you want another snap?

2.) It is usually a lot white/paler than this...but I have just returned from...............NIGERIA!...so it is a little tanned still.

3.) I had to change the file type...so it could upload properly on the forum...this lowered the picture quality.

4.) What about my English? It is my mother tounge. I know some Yoruba...very limited...and I know a little bit about how you guys (Nigerian) talk to each other(because guess what?...I have been to Nigeria!), so I am kind of typing with that in mind.

5.) I did not want to make it seem like I was pro-Yoruba over Igbo and Hausa...so I mentioned Igbo (to be balanced). I have only really met Yoruba (mostly) and Igbo (a few) because I was staying in Yorubaland. I had no real contact with Hausa...although I am sure they are cool too! They are mainly north I believe...I never went to the north...too dangerous.

6.) Because the only Naija question I have is about romance!...this Yoruba girl I met in Nigeria.

7.) LMAO! Well...I cant speak for other oyinbos...but I am polite most of the time anyway. I can see what you are saying though. Naija people seemed quite abrupt and blunt in the way they talk! Compared to US/UK, there is not much subtlety. You guys say it how you mean it...first time.

...I understand this quite well and have it in my mind whenever I talk to Naija people.

Anymore? : )

On second thoughts...I think that maybe she may have been a bit out of my league. I think she is very good looking, maybe she is good looking by Naija standards too.

Still...doesn't explain why she didn't marry earlier. I always wondered why it had never happened. I was surprised that no-one had got in there straight away.
______________________________________________________________

I am going to take peoples advice and just leave it I think hurts a lot...I regret not saying something soooooo much. I really did/still do, like her and I think about her everyday/really miss being around her.

We still phone chat quite a bit. I am just going to move on I think...stay friends. If in a years time...she is still un-married, I might mention to her that I used to really like her A LOT...but never had the balls to say anything...and see what she says. But for now, I am going to give up hope

...would have been sooooo amazing. I would have considered moving out there...I would have done everything possible to look after her and her fam. I really did care about them all. Ahhhh, shoulda, woulda, coulda

Thanks guys

TrickofTech: So I am from the US. I am white, male. I have just spent some months in Nigeria and I found Nigeria amazing! I really enjoyed it. Seeing the different cultures and the different way of life. I was great.

I was staying with a Nigerian family (Yoruba) and again...it was really cool. Thing is, the family had a daughter about 30 (a couple of years older than me). She is not really good looking, but ok, Born Again, and we seemed to get on really well. She was really friendly...and I slowly got the impression that she liked me (romantically). She would use any excuse to talk to me and was always coming to my room to chat. I really liked her too, straight away...but I never really did anything about it. Basically we just did this back and forth flirting type thing everyday...and that's how it stayed. I was very aware that her parents lived in the same house and I did not want to be disrespectful. On top of that...there is the whole cultural gap...I know quite a bit about Yoruba culture, but I am not sure how Nigerians approach courting and flirting and all that stuff.

Her family would often 'joke' (although I am not sure!) about us getting married...which was quite awkward. At times she seemed very interested in asking me "when will you marry?" and "would you marry a Nigerian?". Other times she said outright that it was not appropriate for her to marry a white person. When I left she said she would really really miss me...and has called me a lot since. She keeps asking to return to Nigeria.

I left Nigeria without telling her that I liked her a lot.
_________________________________________________________________

Thing is, I am not an mugu. I am aware of the film 'oyinbo hunters'! I know there are many Nigerian women after green cards and money! Also, I am not even sure if she really liked me romantically. Are women in Nigeria flirtatious generally? I could have just been mistaking her over-friendliness for romantic interest, although there were times which I was sure she fancied me. I am well aware that some Nigerians are intrigued by white people...and it could have just been that.

We were pretty close by the end of my time in Nigeria. I REALLY regret not telling her that I liked her...I just want her to know how beautiful (inside and out) I thought she was, even if she isn't interested.

I am glad at least we are friends for the moment. I would really like to see her again one day, although all I can think is that I will probably never see her again. I just wish I could have spent more time with her...talked to her some more.

No be sin to assume say u be oyibo nah .Sometimes sef me dey even dey imagine for my mind say i be pakistani

lefulefu:
No be sin to assume say u be oyibo nah .Sometimes sef me dey even dey imagine for my mind say i be pakistani

Confused? Don't understand ya bro.

I've got to snap out of it and move on. Maybe just takes a bit of time.

TrickofTech:

Thank you (Eshe poopor!!) I was browsing 'Nigeria' and Nairaland came up. I tried to learn as much Yoruba as possible...it was very hard. I really wish I could have understood the language fully, because the girl and family would often chat away in Yoruba...and I really wanted to know what they were saying!...especially when they were talking about me!

bros abeg make u help me link up to any american woman make i marry.i don toast mrs chima tire but she no wan gree for me.if u fit get any american woman for me i promise to send u one thousand naira recharge card.e no matter wether she fat or lepa .men i need to land for yankee b4 december of this year

TrickofTech:

Confused? Don't understand ya bro.

I've got to snap out of it and move on. Maybe just takes a bit of time.

i say nothing wrong if u imagine for ur mind say u are oyibo

lefulefu:
i say nothing wrong if u imagine for ur mind say u are oyibo

Leave my husband joor!

Not playing the whole 'prove I am oyinbo' game anymore. I know I am and I had hoped for some sensible answers from some friendly Nigerians.

TrickofTech: Not playing the whole 'prove I am oyinbo' game anymore. I know I am and I had hoped for some sensible answers from some friendly Nigerians.

Dnt mind them. That's how they usually are. They never believe anything you say and can argue with you till forever. But welcome to Nairaland. There is an oyinbo lady here and other nationalities here as well so just feel free and enjoy the forum

Subomi-luv:
Dnt mind them. That's how they usually are. They never believe anything you say and can argue with you till forever. But welcome to Nairaland. There is an oyinbo lady here and other nationalities here as well so just feel free and enjoy the forum

Lol. Thank you. Just not feeling great at the moment. I need to sort myself out and move on...I know that. I need to somehow deal with this regret. Like I say...maybe I will tell her how I felt one day.

TrickofTech:

Lol. Thank you. Just not feeling great at the moment. I need to sort myself out and move on...I know that. I need to somehow deal with this regret. Like I say...maybe I will tell her how I felt one day.

Why don't you just tell her how you feel so that you won't have any regrets. The worse thing she could say is that she is not interested but at least you would know that you have done your part. If someone is playing you, you will be able to tell and just trust your gut.

Subomi-luv:
Why don't you just tell her how you feel so that you won't have any regrets. The worse thing she could say is that she is not interested but at least you would know that you have done your part. If someone is playing you, you will be able to tell and just trust your gut.

I see your point...ideally I would really like to just ask her.
...it is very difficult over the phone though. I get a sense that it would seem somewhat out of the blue. I had such an amazing experience in Nigeria...and I kind of don't want to ruin my memories of all that.

I think maybe she has subtly given me my answer. Marriage is something we have talked a lot about...in general terms. She has said things like she prays I find a "good wife", and that she is also looking for someone "good" and that she hopes to marry this year. She has said it is not right for her to marry oyinbo...personally. Family members have suggested (jokingly) marriage in conversation, and she SEEMED to be saying "not likely" (in Yoruba).

On the flip side, she keeps asking me to come back to Nigeria...QUICK! She says she misses me a lot...and she seems to call me out of the blue. I have evidence that she thinks about me a lot and she flirted with me all the time when we were in Nigeria.
__________________________________________________

Perhaps she is just being friendly to me...and that is it. I want to be with her...but she doesn't want to be with me.

...OR, she is waiting for me to declare my interest...I never have, so she never thought I was interested.

_______________________________________

Probably best for me not to think about it...and move on.

^^^ But what are you so afraid of? Just tell her because it's obvious you really like her a lot. If she is not interested then at least you will know and you can move on. You have nothing to lose.

*Unfollows*

Subomi-luv:
^^^ But what are you so afraid of? Just tell her because it's obvious you really like her a lot. If she is not interested then at least you will know and you can move on. You have nothing to lose.

Yes. I really should have done this earlier. I think too long has passed.

I think I am going to keep things friendly and chatty when we talk. Maybe after a few phone calls...I might mention that I miss her...and that I liked her a lot when we were in Nigeria...in a kind of "oh that was obvious!" way: then see how she responds.

I am very keen not to mess up my friendship with her and the family.

_______________________________________

When I really think about...and trust my gut, I think she didn't know. I explained this situation to someone and they said she sounded confused.

I think I agree. Some days...we would be flirting away and it would be great...I could tell she wanted to be around me. Other times she seemed to be trying to avoid me a bit more. I think there were times where she was interested and times when she wasn't.

rigormortis: I JUST HATE IT WHEN WHITE MEN MARRY BLACKS, I PREFER BLACK MEN FYKCING WHITE WOMEN AND MARRYIN THEM IF THEY WANT, ITS MORE NATURAL. LEAVE THE BLACK GALS FOR BROTHERS, AND ALLOW YOU WHITE WOMEN FOR BROTHER TO.......

Troll.

In all seriousness...I get the feeling that some Nigerian guys have this feeling deep down. It is maybe one of the reasons why she did not feel it was "right" to marry oyinbo. People would think she was a "gold digger"/ashawo.