^^^^

lefulefu:
na dat 419 u dey call ur husband?
na wah for u ooooo

snubish: The

a quick wit with excellent conversation/writing skills,
a charming temperament,
markedly interested in multicultural/intercultural issues,
a romantic, philosophical outlook on several issues

I will take all of this as a compliment. Thank you very much

...I am still an oyinbo...and I am not this Abdul man. Sorry.

Swaggot00: im currently in a relationship with a white gal ' [s]im not bragging or showing off or anythng cos i knw sum fish brain gon soon start talkin rubbish[/s] bt if i acted lyk u did hiding my feelings thinkin shes gon make the first move or i was just friends with her,i wont be able to hook sumone as half as beautiful as she is. Gawddamn!! u were even stayin with her parents, under d same roof for weeks, gisting and talkin? I meet d gal i told u about in school, i dont know her, neva seen her b4,dnt know if she got a boyfriend or nt, i jst went straight to her right in d middle of her friends, hug her from the back, rest my head on her left shoulder, close my eyes and said 'hey you' , she tryna turn over to look at me her friends was so wowed at d amount of my confidence, i told her dat same minute dat im in love wit her. I dated a lotta local champions bck then in 9ja bt i tell you there is notin like two diffrent people frm diffrent culture kumin 2gether to form one union.

Yes. I agree. I perhaps should have 'grown a pair' and got on with it...told her I liked her. This is what I regret. I still can...and will. But I think things have moved on...and she is thousands of miles away from me. It is going to sound weird on the phone.

It is very difficult to explain...but I wanted to show appreciation and respect to her AND HER FAMILY. After all it was their house. We all got on very well and I didn't want to make things awkward or complicate it.

Also...what if I had told her...and she liked me? What then? I don't really understand courting in Yoruba culture...and besides...I HAD to leave Naija.
________________________________________________

Would have been amazing though. I will tell her.
I still think I am wanting it...more than it ever existed...if that makes sense.

SO are you based in Uk or Us because you have mentioned both places so where are you from

Subomi-luv:
SO are you based in Uk or Us because you have mentioned both places so where are you from

Lolz.. U still on dis?

TrickofTech:

I will take all of this as a compliment. Thank you very much

...I am still an oyinbo...and I am not this Abdul man. Sorry.

Neither here nor there. However, you do have a some what parrot fashion of carrying on, and regurgitating the same stuff over and over.. Christ I got bored reading those elongated posts and went to the sexuality section!!!

jntyjnty007:

Neither here nor there. However, you do have a some what parrot fashion of carrying on, and regurgitating the same stuff over and over.. Christ I got bored reading those elongated posts and went to the sexuality section!!!

Pele o. I will try and be more brief

Subomi-luv:
SO are you based in Uk or Us because you have mentioned both places so where are you from

UK at the moment, but its not like I am after a Naija girl ("Naija hunters"). Just one particular Naija girl.

Idowuogbo:
Lolz.. U still on dis?

jntyjnty007:

Neither here nor there. However, you do have a some what parrot fashion of carrying on, and regurgitating the same stuff over and over.. Christ I got bored reading those elongated posts and went to the sexuality section!!!

Lmfao i know.

Op pls do us all a favour. This "oyinbo" fall my hand. If you like the girl than make a move. If not forget her and move on. Case closed.

Subomi-luv:
Lmfao i know.

Ouch! I guess I had that coming. I am sure you are very beautiful. I must admit most Naija girls I met were very pretty. Beautiful eyes...and very curvy bodies.

Subomi-luv:
Op pls do us all a favour. This "oyinbo" fall my hand. If you like the girl than make a move. If not forget her and move on. Case closed.

Ohwwwww ok I guess that's my cue to leave. Well thanks for your posts and stuff guys. It was good to hear what you all thought. I meant what I said about Nigeria at the start. It was a blast...and everyone is so warm and welcoming. It really is an amazing place.

Thanks

TrickofTech:

Ohwwwww ok I guess that's my cue to leave. Well thanks for your posts and stuff guys. It was good to hear what you all thought. I meant what I said about Nigeria at the start. It was a blast...and everyone is so warm and welcoming. It really is an amazing place.

Thanks

NO it's not. You can still visit a lot of other threads and comment. Sorry if i came out a bit harsh but you were getting very redundant

TrickofTech:

Ouch! I guess I had that coming. I am sure you are very beautiful. I must admit most Naija girls I met were very pretty. Beautiful eyes...and very curvy bodies.

Damn right

Florena:
I knw it is but u should knw dat an oyinbo would ave used anoda word or won't say it frequently

You obviously do not enter act with whites very often because the Born Again Christains use the term all the time, and so does the latinos and blacks aswell.

TrickofTech:

I mean a convert. Evangelical...and very committed.

That post was not directed to you, but I know one thing about you and that is, you are a liar. Y ou said you are from America, and then you said where you come from women do not flirt with a man unless she is romanticly interested in him. That was a dead give away because in the USA a woman will flirt with a man for a free drink, hamburger, ciggarettes, bus token, money, or anything he has that she wants and have no romantic interest in him at all.

A quick follow up question...I am really sorry to go on!

What I really do not understand is Nigerian and Yoruba courting. I've noticed that it is very different to what I am used to. In the US and UK...it would be 'odd' to just ask a girl: 'will you marry me?'. A man and woman will get to know each other A LOT before marriage is even discussed; they live with each other, they date...they even sleep together (sex). In the UK/US...a couple will become very close and very romantically involved before marriage...often it is as if they are already married...the ceremony/act of marriage is a legal kind of thing to formalize the relationship.

I can tell things are VERY different in Yoruba culture. It seems as if marriages can be more 'arranged' and formal. It is almost like marriage can be an agreement that is made and negotiated...before any of this closeness/romance...or am I wrong? I know that the groom must seek out the family's approval...and that it is about bringing two families together in union. I know that the bride and groom must live apart...and that dating and courting (time spent together) prior to marriage is frowned upon. Once again, this is quite different to the UK/US.
______________________________________________________________

What I am really getting at is: if she really does like me. What are her expectations from me? She would be expecting for me to make the first move...yes...I get that. But what exactly would she expect me to do? Proclaim my love for her and my desire to marry her?...in the UK/US...this would be considered a bit 'weird'.
...would it be acceptable (to her) for me to tell her that I want to be with her (over the phone)...when there has been NO courting and dating (as would be expected in the UK/US)

What would she expect then?!!!! Dating and courting? Or just the formal promise/statement of interest. Is marriage/courting like a 'plan' that two people make...even if there is not yet a strong emotional/physical connection and ties? (If so...this is very different to the UK/US)

I am just trying to get this right in my head so I do not make a fool of myself. Apart from the flirting/friendliness (when we were together)...she is not going to make ANY moves towards me (like telling me she likes me etc.)...is this correct?

Thanks

(God I miss her so much I could do so much for her. I really cared about her. I just want to tell her everything will be fine...that I am going to protect her and look after her forever. She and her family would never have to worry about anything ever again. She has no idea...it hurts so much )

omg. r u now planning to get married to her? when you haven't even asked her out yet.
i think it's time for you to just move on. or aren't there any women in ur area? this whole story is getting ridiculous. jeez

@ TrickofTech
Where exactly are you from? Which state in the US? How long did you stay with the family?

Since you are in your late twenties, were you not in a relationship before coming to Nigeria?

99cent: omg. r u now planning to get married to her? when you haven't even asked her out yet.
i think it's time for you to just move on. or aren't there any women in ur area? this whole story is getting ridiculous. jeez

I think you are probably right. It is time to move on. The only reason I mentioned marriage is because I thought that's how courting works in Yoruba culture. If you had actually read what I had written, you would have seen that I do not have a clue! In the west, it is 'weird' and strange to casually suggest to two people that they could be married 'one day'. Her parents/parents friends suggested it a lot!!!!!! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK?!!!! I never mentioned marriage to them...but they always mentioned it to me!!! Was it a joke? Were they trying to test me out Is this how it works in Yoruba culture? I DONT KNOW!!!!!!
________________________________

Besides...I have had a think about it. I get the feeling that she liked me. She maybe even liked me romantically at some points during my stay. BUT...I am pretty sure she would never even consider a relationship or marriage. She seemed to care too much about what her family/neighbors would think about her being with an oyinbo. She also seemed a lot more interested in me when the conversation got onto her coming to the 'west' (i.e. green card).

It sucks so much. I really appreciated everything about her. I really admired her for who she is, and I could have given her so much.
...her loss I suppose.

So I will leave it as friend for now...and play the long game. She knows that I still want to keep in contact with her...she knows that I would like to return to Nigeria one day. Maybe in a years time, if she is still not married, she will show a bit more interest.

...although I ain't holding out much hope.

beewhyfocs: @ TrickofTech
Where exactly are you from? Which state in the US? How long did you stay with the family?

Since you are in your late twenties, were you not in a relationship before coming to Nigeria?

I stayed with them for about 4 months...and NO, I was not in a relationship before I came to Nigeria. I am still searching, as is the Yoruba girl in question.

TrickofTech:

I think you are probably right. It is time to move on. The only reason I mentioned marriage is because I thought that's how courting works in Yoruba culture. If you had actually read what I had written, you would have seen that I do not have a clue! In the west, it is 'weird' and strange to casually suggest to two people that they could be married 'one day'. Her parents/parents friends suggested it a lot!!!!!! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK?!!!! I never mentioned marriage to them...but they always mentioned it to me!!! Was it a joke? Were they trying to test me out Is this how it works in Yoruba culture? I DONT KNOW!!!!!!
________________________________

Besides...I have had a think about it. I get the feeling that she liked me. She maybe even liked me romantically at some points during my stay. BUT...I am pretty sure she would never even consider a relationship or marriage. She seemed to care too much about what her family/neighbors would think about her being with an oyinbo. She also seemed a lot more interested in me when the conversation got onto her coming to the 'west' (i.e. green card).

It sucks so much. I really appreciated everything about her. I really admired her for who she is, and I could have given her so much.
...her loss I suppose.

So I will leave it as friend for now...and play the long game. She knows that I still want to keep in contact with her...she knows that I would like to return to Nigeria one day. Maybe in a years time, if she is still not married, she will show a bit more interest.

...although I ain't holding out much hope.

then you should contact her more often (as a friend). call her often and tell her you miss her. just be good friends. Maybe when u visit naija again, as you say, if she's not married by then, then try ur luck.

meanwhile, u should also try to meet people in your area. maybe u will fall in love and forget about nigeria. less headache for you.

99cent:

then you should contact her more often (as a friend). call her often and tell her you miss her. just be good friends. Maybe when u visit naija again, as you say, if she's not married by then, then try ur luck.

meanwhile, u should also try to meet people in your area. maybe u will fall in love and forget about nigeria. less headache for you.

Thank you. I will take your advice. I apologies for going on so much. It is all very un-realistic I know. The whole story is almost unbelievable. She is the first girl in a while to make me feel like this...I mean I really did like her a lot.

But the circumstances are not good. She is miles away now and a very different person to me (culture/background). I don't really have anything to stay in the US for...and I can (and have) lived in Nigeria. I guess I kind of thought that if she really liked me...it would be worth trying to get back out there to be with her.

But I take your point...all of this is dreamland. And I should move on.

Thanks

Swaggot00: im currently in a relationship with a white gal ' [s]im not bragging or showing off or anythng cos i knw sum fish brain gon soon start talkin rubbish[/s] bt if i acted lyk u did hiding my feelings thinkin shes gon make the first move or i was just friends with her,i wont be able to hook sumone as half as beautiful as she is. Gawddamn!! u were even stayin with her parents, under d same roof for weeks, gisting and talkin? I meet d gal i told u about in school, i dont know her, neva seen her b4,dnt know if she got a boyfriend or nt, i jst went straight to her right in d middle of her friends, hug her from the back, rest my head on her left shoulder, close my eyes and said 'hey you' , she tryna turn over to look at me her friends was so wowed at d amount of my confidence, i told her dat same minute dat im in love wit her. I dated a lotta local champions bck then in 9ja bt i tell you there is notin like two diffrent people frm diffrent culture kumin 2gether to form one union.

You joking right? a proper stranger? ok o

@op much ado about nothing. too much talk about yoruba culture. what do they do? do they court first? do i marry first even before someone is your girlfriend? is it normal? blablabla
When 2 people from different culture are in love, they find themselves and make things work.Remember this is a human being like you too with common sense.No one gets into a marriage when you have not done the bf/gf thing! they dont allow culture here and there come in. later on as they mature and grow in love, they learn more about the other's culture especially as friends and family become involved. love is universal. In other news yes she may like your green card just the way she likes you. green card could be an extra bonus for her. get over yourself please

Food_consumer: Did i just hear u say "mugu"? Like seriously?

From a white?

Nigga u're BUSTED!!

common, even i know this word as well as many others :/

I don't know why Nigerians can be this doubtful, what is wrong in believing words in true faith. Eyinbos don't even throw our explanation in the thrash can without giving the benefit of doubt, even previous posters before me that I respected fell my wrist on this.

Mr Poster, if all what you said is not fiction, follow your mind and let her know about your feelings (that you at-least like her and the goods you like about her). It is not late to let her know and this is even the best time to do that because you are not leaving anymore under her father's roof neither will you be seen as an ingrate for making such move.

Judging from the little you said about her, she does not strike me as one of those "smart" girls that just want to have fun and do whatever will dish them the ticket to live the American dreams by all means. She likes you and trust me Nigerian girls, especially the Yorubas, will never let say that but may give you the subliminal signs. Forget about the green card and the white novelty ish please. Attraction and connection set in if you are close to someone you see often, if you think such person is decent and cool and they say unlike poles attract maybe that what it is. Btw you did not do justice on the picture you posted at all.

lyfe: I don't know why Nigerians can be this doubtful, what is wrong in believing words in true faith. Eyinbos don't even throw our explanation in the thrash can without giving the benefit of doubt, even previous posters before me that I respected fell my wrist on this.

Mr Poster, if all what you said is not fiction, follow your mind and let her know about your feelings (that you at-least like her and the goods you like about her). It is not late to let her know and this is even the best time to do that because you are not leaving anymore under her father's roof neither will you be seen as an ingrate for making such move.

Judging from the little you said about her, she does not strike me as one of those "smart" girls that just want to have fun and do whatever will dish them the ticket to live the American dreams by all means. She likes you and trust me Nigerian girls, especially the Yorubas, will never let say that but may give you the subliminal signs. Forget about the green card and the white novelty ish please. Attraction and connection set in if you are close to someone you see often, if you think such person is decent and cool and they say unlike poles attract maybe that what it is. Btw you did not do justice on the picture you posted at all.

Thank you for your kind post. I have still yet to tell her how I feel...but I will do. I completely understand the poles attracting. We have very little in common...but this is one of the main reasons I like her.

A few weeks ago...I decided to try and put her out of my mind...but after about two weeks...she called me again to remind me to stay in touch! She ended this phone call by mentioning that "I was in her mind a lot/she misses me".

All of this sounds really promising...but there are many more things that she says and does...which suggests that she is not interested. You have suggested that Yoruba girls never show their interest....I hope you are right.
_________________________________________

As I have said...I think, at times I have flirted (face to face) with her a lot. Through my words and actions...I suggested fairly clearly to her that I liked her.

...My gut instinct tells me that she probably was attracted to me at times. But she seemed very hung up on me not being black...and Yoruba. She would spend a lot of time trying to talk to me/be around me...but NEVER came close to showing any real romantic desire to be with me (I mean she didn't say she liked me! She didn't kiss me!).

My guts are telling me that being single and 30, she enjoyed have a guy around the house eyeing her up! She liked someone being attracted to her...the fantasy...but she doesn't seem to want to take it any further. All this talk of "coming back to Nigeria" and "missing me" is politeness on her part. She seems to be saying what she thinks she should say/what she thinks I want to hear....the way she says "I miss you" is not the way a US person would say it if they meant it.

To be fair...even if she said she liked me...what then? We are miles apart.
___________________________________________________

I will keep calling her...and one day soon....I will drop that I like her in conversation. If she actually answers...instead of dodging...I will know.

I am still talking about her because I genuinely do still care about her and I think about her a lot. My point...is that...judging from her behavior and personality...really she was never that interested and she has forgotten me already.

...no-one wants to hear that over the phone.

Thank you though

TrickofTech: No friend. I am not lying. All of what I have said is true. Why would I want to make up something like this. It may not sound very believable, but it happened.

I am white American.

thot u said ur from scotland

TrickofTech:

Thank you for your kind post. I have still yet to tell her how I feel...but I will do. I completely understand the poles attracting. We have very little in common...but this is one of the main reasons I like her.

A few weeks ago...I decided to try and put her out of my mind...but after about two weeks...she called me again to remind me to stay in touch! She ended this phone call by mentioning that "I was in her mind a lot/she misses me".

All of this sounds really promising...but there are many more things that she says and does...which suggests that she is not interested. You have suggested that Yoruba girls never show their interest....I hope you are right.
_________________________________________

As I have said...I think, at times I have flirted (face to face) with her a lot. Through my words and actions...I suggested fairly clearly to her that I liked her.

...My gut instinct tells me that she probably was attracted to me at times. But she seemed very hung up on me not being black...and Yoruba. She would spend a lot of time trying to talk to me/be around me...but NEVER came close to showing any real romantic desire to be with me (I mean she didn't say she liked me! She didn't kiss me!).

My guts are telling me that being single and 30, she enjoyed have a guy around the house eyeing her up! She liked someone being attracted to her...the fantasy...but she doesn't seem to want to take it any further. All this talk of "coming back to Nigeria" and "missing me" is politeness on her part. She seems to be saying what she thinks she should say/what she thinks I want to hear....the way she says "I miss you" is not the way a US person would say it if they meant it.

To be fair...even if she said she liked me...what then? We are miles apart.
___________________________________________________

I will keep calling her...and one day soon....I will drop that I like her in conversation. If she actually answers...instead of dodging...I will know.

I am still talking about her because I genuinely do still care about her and I think about her a lot. My point...is that...judging from her behavior and personality...really she was never that interested and she has forgotten me already.

...no-one wants to hear that over the phone.

Thank you though

The only reason I believe U is cos U consistent with your words and I also have an oyinbo friend who has never been to Nigeria before she writes very good yoruba,infact she understands yoruba well well.
Truth is,that girl might not believe U if U tell her U love her cos of the way the society made it look (like whites are generally unserious and white guys want a black woman only for sex). She might like U but I tell U even if she does,shes scared of telling or showing U so its left for U to let her understand how swrious u r

What's the big deal in an oyinbo speaking yoruba? I haven't seen anything extra terrestrial the guy has said,guy ma advice to you - tell her how U̶̲̥̅̊ feel anyway U̶̲̥̅̊ know how to.quit trying to woo her d yoruba way .she likes you cos ur different.Act different