TrickofTech:

Troll.

In all seriousness...I get the feeling that some Nigerian guys have this feeling deep down. It is maybe one of the reasons why she did not feel it was "right" to marry oyinbo. People would think she was a "gold digger"/ashawo.

Sup with this vulgar words dude, careful mhenn

And, I'm irish

sheyie2007:
Sup with this vulgar words dude, careful mhenn

And, I'm irish

Pele o. No offence intended. I can understand how it would give that vibe though. People are quick to make those kind of assumptions.

^^^^ So joblessness has turned you into an Oyinbo. Signs of End times

Sexily Endowed: ^^^^ So joblessness has turned you into an Oyinbo. Signs of End times

Yhhh mate

Wish I was as "cool" as you

...note the sarcasm

Ok, no point arguing with you about who you say you are. However,my advice is for you to continue with the friendship you have with her now and see where it takes you.

Just to clear the air about the misconception you have about Nigerian babes and oyinbo union, some of us just love the white guys because of the magical beauties the whites and blacks create when they procreate . Those kids are just splendidly BEAUTIFUL. Don't get ideas...very happy with my Nigerian dude

Subomi-luv:
Amen i can feel it. Cheiii how will i sleep now. Pookie pie can you upload the pictures now

This chic annoys the shit out of me I have never met anybody who has annoyed me like this Mumu.

Anyways here is your dream husband. Enjoy
https://www.nairaland.com/1313179/texas-policemen-caught-beating-woman

moreeni: Ok, no point arguing with you about who you say you are. However,my advice is for you to continue with the friendship you have with her now and see where it takes you.

Just to clear the air about the misconception you have about Nigerian babes and oyinbo union, some of us just love the white guys because of the magical beauties the whites and blacks create when they procreate . Those kids are just splendidly BEAUTIFUL. Don't get ideas...very happy with my Nigerian dude

Another Subomi. So you are dreaming of white men while you are with your man. Ashawo

Sexily Endowed: Another Subomi. So you are dreaming of white men while you are with your man. Ashawo

Now you are really cool

Check up on sarcasm!

deor03:

if this guy is a cook ,staying with Oyinbos, I pity his Oga tonight . This desperado will drug that man with valium 5, now get a marker, write his username and take picture tonight.

GUESS thats what he's doing right now

This made me laugh so hard..

*unfollows thread*

Sexily Endowed: Another Subomi. So you are dreaming of white men while you are with your man. Ashawo

Sexily Endowed: This chic annoys the shit out of me I have never met anybody who has annoyed me like this Mumu.

Anyways here is your dream husband. Enjoy
https://www.nairaland.com/1313179/texas-policemen-caught-beating-woman

[img]http://h9.abload.de/img/cheryl-cole-you-mad-geebjk.gif[/img]

moreeni: Ok, no point arguing with you about who you say you are. However,my advice is for you to continue with the friendship you have with her now and see where it takes you.

Just to clear the air about the misconception you have about Nigerian babes and oyinbo union, some of us just love the white guys because of the magical beauties the whites and blacks create when they procreate . Those kids are just splendidly BEAUTIFUL. Don't get ideas...very happy with my Nigerian dude

I agree. Could have been amazing. To think that two people from two different cultures and backgrounds coming together...it is very cool. When I think about, I am not sure if the girl thought the same (pretty old school and traditional). Ahhh Well. We will stay friends for now. Thank you.

Guy don't mind us.nigerian people are generally sceptical.in as much as u wanna know how we dey toast our babes just tell her u like her.goodluck with that

TrickofTech:

Thank you very much : ) A good response. I am late twenties, she is 30. You have summarized all of my anxieties in your post! I know that Yoruba women are encouraged to marry quickly...if you get to 30+ without being married...Yoruba women start to panic a bit. I know that she wants to travel abroad...something she has tried before and is dreamy about. I am also very aware that some Nigerians just enjoy the novelty of whiteness. On top of that, I am well aware of how hard their living conditions are...and that I live in the developed world and have a good job.

Now you see how I am finding it hard. I want to be with someone who appreciates me for who I am. I am in no doubt that she liked me...and appreciated my personality...but to the stage of being in a romantic relationship? :\

Whenever she flirted with me in Nigeria, I would really enjoy it for a moment and then remind myself that deep down, her motivations are probably:
- Access to money
- A way of getting a green card
- A way of getting married fast
- Just interest in the white man

...I never found out if she really liked me...or if I was the list above.

hmm what are your own motivations?
you don't think she likes you for who you are?
at one point, you said she wasn't attractive, then later, you said she was attractive. it seems that you yourself are confused about your attraction to her. do you like her or not? or are there some other motivations...?

anyway, she is never going to ask you out or flirt with you in a very obvious way. That's just part of Nigerian culture (especially for born again christians). Usually men are the ones who make the first move and if she likes you, she will respond positively. Things won't be awkward if you approach it in a light manner and ask her out in a casual manner. She's probably just as confused about your intentions as u are about hers.

or maybe you like her but feel that dating her will be too much of an investment (considering culture/distance etc) and u don't like her badly enough to want to make that much of an investment/commitment. in other words: odikwa risky

what state in Nigeria did u stay in? and what did you visit for? i'm just wondering.

Florena: Very dedicated to her religion (Born Again)actually dats our language

What do you mean by being born again is your language? LoL, don't you know that saying is world wide in Christianty.

TrickofTech:

I think you are probably right : ( I really do miss her a lot. We are still in regular contact, but it probably best to keep things how they are. It sucks so much that I will probably never see her again : ( ...even as friends.
...I think I am just "hoping" that it will happen one day...and I should give up that hope really.

I am generalizing...but Yoruba women are amazing. On the outside, and in the heart. I remember thinking that she was beautiful...even first thing in the morning...when she was cleaning out the chicken hut...when she was pounding yam...I am just in awe of her. I will always remember it.

But I will move on...

In your earlier post you said she did'nt look that good on the outside, now you said she is beautiful on the inside and the outside, make up your mind, also in America we don't use the term "fancied" that's British.

khiaa:

What do you mean by being born again is your language? LoL, don't you know that saying is world wide in Christianty.

I knw it is but u should knw dat an oyinbo would ave used anoda word or won't say it frequently

ighoosagie:
Nairaland agberu, mecheeew, d wife material in u can't even sew a jeans string

u again?

99cent:

hmm what are your own motivations?
you don't think she likes you for who you are?
at one point, you said she wasn't attractive, then later, you said she was attractive. it seems that you yourself are confused about your attraction to her. do you like her or not? or are there some other motivations...?

What I am saying is that she is no super model. I think she is very beautiful, but I am not sure if Naija guys/(other guys generally) would necessarily agree with me. I could tell that she thought she was attractive...just by some of the things she said. She is defiantly not the type of person I would usually be attracted to and I wouldn't say she was 'conventionally' attractive, although I guess there is no way of you really knowing without seeing her.

I am not confused about my attraction to her...I like her a lot...and find her very attractive. I guess I had never expected/planned for this to happen. As I have said, I never set out to find a Yoruba babe! I never even considered it as a possibility. Also, I just keep thinking there is no point me really dwelling on it...unless she feels the same way.

There are many reasons why I do not think she feels the same way. Sadly, I had my own prejudices before I went out to Nigeria: as I have said, I know that some Naija girls would happily seek out oyinbo guys for other reasons (green card, money, the 'novelty' of whiteness etc.) Part of me was certain that I would avoid getting too involved with anyone in Nigeria because of this. I have to say...that unfortunately, some of my prejudices were right...there were some Naija girls that approached me and it was OBVIOUS that this was their aim (by the things they said).

The yoruba girl in question flirted with me a lot. What I am struggling to work out is if this was genuine romantic interest...or just Naija friendliness/being a good host. Where I come from...women do not really flirt like this with guys...unless they are romantically interested. Things could be very different in Nigeria. I know you guys are very friendly...so it could have just been that. On top of this, I know she wants to go abroad. I know her and her fam. are far from rich.
...also there are things that she has said, mentioning once that she wants to "marry a Nigerian", that it is not "right" for her to "marry an oyinbo". She has said these things as a one off...and then continued to be very friendly and flirtatious...to the point where her family members and friends implied that "we could be married!". AHHHH! it is very confusing!
If I am honest...her friendless may have been because I never made a move...i.e. because I was flirting...but never took it anywhere. What I am saying is that maybe she liked me because I was giving her this attention...but it wasn't going to go anywhere. What Naija girl in Nigeria wouldn't want an oyinbo friend who was attracted to them!

99cent:

anyway, she is never going to ask you out or flirt with you in a very obvious way. That's just part of Nigerian culture (especially for born again christians). Usually men are the ones who make the first move and if she likes you, she will respond positively. Things won't be awkward if you approach it in a light manner and ask her out in a casual manner. She's probably just as confused about your intentions as u are about hers.

or maybe you like her but feel that dating her will be too much of an investment (considering culture/distance etc) and u don't like her badly enough to want to make that much of an investment/commitment. in other words: odikwa risky

This is a very good point...that I am well aware of. As well as Nigerian culture...we were always 'around' family members, so I fully appreciate why she would never be too obvious about it. I also know that guys have to make the first move. The thing is...I think that there were times that her flirting/talking about marriage/talking of me returning to Nigeria...was a casual approach by her...trying to see if I would commit to liking her. BUT I DID NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. There are so many reasons why I held back...which I am not going to repeat. A HUGE factor is the culture that you mention. If I committed to liking her...what would happen next? I know Yoruba culture...but not that well! I mean, where would we go from there? The logistics of it all would be near impossible...how would I tell my family that "I have met a girl out in Nigeria...and I want to move out there to be with her!", what would they say/think? How would I even start to get a job out there/get a visa/start a new life in Nigeria? What if I got all the way out there and she had changed her mind!?

...IF she liked me back...and that is a HUGE IF. It would be worth it. I loved Nigeria...and I really liked her. I could do it, with a lot of effort and stress...but it would be worth it I think. It is hard to explain...but I cared about her and her family A LOT...and I could tell she cared about me too. Whether this was a host caring for a guest, a sister caring for a brother.....OR a women who romantically likes a guy....I DON'T KNOW!

khiaa:

What do you mean by being born again is your language? LoL, don't you know that saying is world wide in Christianty.

I mean a convert. Evangelical...and very committed.

99cent:

Things won't be awkward if you approach it in a light manner and ask her out in a casual manner.

That would be great. Only thing is...I would have to be done over the phone. I have not seen her for a few weeks now and our calls are becoming less and less frequent.

I get the feeling that too much time has passed. That she probably doesn't/never did, feel the same way. That I would end up making a fool out of myself and that I would risk my friendship with/memories of, her and her family.

I personally don't believe you're 'Oyinbo' lol, not that it matters to be honest

Unfortunately you're just going to have to test her for yourself and see how it goes, we learn from our mistakes, hope it goes well

ibkaye: I personally don't believe you're 'Oyinbo' lol, not that it matters to be honest

Unfortunately you're just going to have to test her for yourself and see how it goes, we learn from our mistakes, hope it goes well

Lol. Well I am. As I have said...if anything, I am saying that I find Yoruba people beautiful! It is a compliment. I don't understand why you find it that hard to believe.

As I have said, I never set out to find a Naija babe. Before Nigeria...I probably would have said that they are not my type. I cannot help WHO I find attractive. We got on very well and I am attracted to her...end of.
_______________________________________________

Maybe I will test myself. If she brings the whole "I am missing you, when are you coming back to Nigeria?" thing again...as she often does. I might press it a bit. Ask her "Why do you want me to come back?...do you want me to be your boyfriend?"...in a causal way.

If she says "NO"...or anything like that, I will pass it off as a joke.

Done.

TrickofTech:

Lol. Well I am. As I have said...if anything, I am saying that I find Yoruba people beautiful! It is a compliment. I don't understand why you find it that hard to believe.

As I have said, I never set out to find a Naija babe. Before Nigeria...I probably would have said that they are not my type. I cannot help WHO I find attractive. We got on very well and I am attracted to her...end of.
_______________________________________________

Maybe I will test myself. If she brings the whole "I am missing you, when are you coming back to Nigeria?" thing again...as she often does. I might press it a bit. Ask her "Why do you want me to come back?...do you want me to be your boyfriend?"...in a causal way.

If she says "NO"...or anything like that, I will pass it off as a joke.

Done.

Right.

Well, best of luck

Subomi-luv:
Leave my husband joor!

na dat 419 u dey call ur husband?
na wah for u ooooo

TrickofTech:
The yoruba girl in question flirted with me a lot. What I am struggling to work out is if this was genuine romantic interest...or just Naija friendliness/being a good host. Where I come from...women do not really flirt like this with guys...unless they are romantically interested. Things could be very different in Nigeria. I know you guys are very friendly...so it could have just been that...

TrickofTech:
...I cared about her and her family A LOT...and I could tell she cared about me too. Whether this was a host caring for a guest, a sister caring for a brother.....OR a women who romantically likes a guy....I DON'T KNOW!

This is the important bit about what I am trying to get across. I think I will call her tonight.

TrickofTech:
The state of harmony, NGO.

Kwara state?

ighoosagie:
Nairaland agberu, mecheeew, d wife material in u can't even sew a jeans string

Mr man face ur front naa and leave Idowu stop stalking her,can't comment widout quoting her,em em sorry bros na question hope say dat ur pishure no b photoshop




Goes bak to ma music,(Monica:Dont take it personal)

Moji12: Mr man face ur front naa and leave Idowu stop stalking her,can't comment widout quoting her,em em sorry bros na question hope say dat ur pishure no b photoshop




Goes bak to ma music,(Monica:Dont take it personal)

Mojisola o! My ribs abeg!!

The
return of Abdulsleek.

Notorious nairalander logicboy tires of religion section and drifts to
romance section to pull an 'abdulsleek'. ever tenacious and resilient,
he would stretch the thread to the limit even while the veracity of his
posts are being doubted.
distinctive traits:
abundance of bandwidth for continuous online access,
a quick wit with excellent conversation/writing skills,
a charming temperament,
markedly interested in multicultural/intercultural issues,
a romantic, philosophical outlook on several issues, and lastly: enjoys a
good ingenious prank.

oh readers, if i lost you. just forget about it and enjoy the ride.

im currently in a relationship with a white gal ' [s]im not bragging or showing off or anythng cos i knw sum fish brain gon soon start talkin rubbish[/s] bt if i acted lyk u did hiding my feelings thinkin shes gon make the first move or i was just friends with her,i wont be able to hook sumone as half as beautiful as she is. Gawddamn!! u were even stayin with her parents, under d same roof for weeks, gisting and talkin? I meet d gal i told u about in school, i dont know her, neva seen her b4,dnt know if she got a boyfriend or nt, i jst went straight to her right in d middle of her friends, hug her from the back, rest my head on her left shoulder, close my eyes and said 'hey you' , she tryna turn over to look at me her friends was so wowed at d amount of my confidence, i told her dat same minute dat im in love wit her. I dated a lotta local champions bck then in 9ja bt i tell you there is notin like two diffrent people frm diffrent culture kumin 2gether to form one union.