Tgirl4real:

Do u mean to say " do you still love your husband?"

Yeah. Amended.

Gaggi:

There lies the problem, seeking advice from people who hardly know their left from their right. Go to doctors forums and professional counselors and seek advice instead of rubbishing a man she chose for herself. People should begin to also accept responsibilities for making faulty judgements and ending up with wrong partners.

This is an anonymous forum. She hasn't revealed her identity in anyway. From her posts, she has spoken to doctors and she has done a lot of research online. I don't think she will sit back and fold her hands watching the situation resolve itself.

baby_123:

Research is good for understanding a condition. But until a patient has been competently examined, you can never make a conclusion or become your own doctor. What if all your assumptions on his condition are wrong? Is it the doctor that told you it had shrunk 1/4 of the normal size of testes? Are you winding us on this thread? Are you writing a script? You can easily say you have had enough and move on. Then move out of his house. It seems your mind is made up. I wonder why you are still here.

Ok. Here is a good one.

OP, why not try to seek further counsel from different doctors. Also go through the link Gaggi provided.

I am still expecting the email. You can PM me.

@Op,

Having read ur story i feel very sad for your situation. from ur story i see u as a good girl and for ur marriage to ur husband to work that means God has a purpose for it.
You see, life is not a bed of roses. It is full of ups and downs. The truth is dat everybody at one point or the other will have his/her own share of life problems. It could be poverty,health issues , misfortunes,spiritual etc so its nt a big deal to have problems. Dont blame urself as if u made a mistake. Do u know wot would have happened to u if u married someone else?
While i dont condone how he hid his problem, it take guts to reveal such especially in society of ours. he knows by revealing it 2 any girl before marriage, he may likely remain single for life as no Nigerian girl will ever love him to dat extent. So u see, he may have tot dat way hoping that luck will happen.However, its wrong.

If u ask me, i'll say try adoption. There is notin wrong with it. Having ur own children is best but it is nt the end of life. Do u know dat some people have died because of thier bad children? Do u know dat some people have children that are useless to them? Do u know that some people have lost all thier children in one day and cant have another due to age?That is life for u.

The ways of God are nt our ways, he works in a mysterious way. Imagine someone is born and being thrown into a bush by her own mother while an innocent woman is looking for a child.

Dont end ur marriage cos of this. Adopt a child,love him/her and give him/her life and God will bless u for it. Also remember it is nt easy on ur husband too. He is very down even if he dosent show it and wouldnt have wished for this. please forgive him. You people can live a happy life again even with an adopted child and who knows? God might see ur heart and reverse his situation.

Tanx.

If madam really is keen on a solution has she tried TB Joshua or that guy at The Chosen for spiritual help as someone here suggested? It may sound funny as even i hardly believe in miracles but desperation drives us to the wall. Who knows where a solution may come from?
Madam is just tired of her husband and wants to bolt. Imagine telling him no sex because u are saving urself for ur new husband yet u come here claiming to be looking for solution to ur 'problem'. How laughable, yet u complain he has an appointment with another woman. This thread stinks of hypocrisy and ridicule. Tgirl, be nice and close this thread abeg.

ayans4: @ Biolabee, am not throwing in the towel.
in fact I told him at a time that once there is a solution.....then there is no problem as it would only cost money, as far as we get the result....as per the finance, that God is able.....
meanwhile, read up on the causes of Azoospermia, some could be as a result of blockage of the Vas Deferen, or those people born without the Vas hence the inability of the sperm to be transported from the testes to the p/enis etc some could also be as a result of chromosomal defect, the klinfelters syndrome, Kallman syndrome etc....but this my dear, is as a result of a congenital abnormality....the testes did not grow at all.it is very small....like 1/4 or less of the normal size and the germ cells in charge of s/perm production got damaged due to the late surgery.

wow.... this is beyond human wisdom!
I wish he did not give up yet
A specialist may be able to help

Tgirl4real:

And who will pay the bills?

The man has to... his comment that "if he has not died yet" may mean he has lost hope
She may be able to lift him up and you never know
Though his family actions and his seeming (in)action leaves a lot be desired//
So i cant blame her at all

baby_123:
If a man has had both testicles removed can he still climax and ejaculate?


http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/ate/sexandrelationships/malesexproblems/200755.html

I suggest you seek another medical opinion. Maybe go on a health holiday to india to check. I think this man may still have one testicle functioning.

Baby, the woman is correct. Your first question about whether it was one or both testes that were undescended was an excellent one. But now that she confirmed both were undescended, then I have no doubt that what the docs are telling her is true. The procedure they did was not to remove the testes but to bring it down from the stomach into the scrotum, so he still has some funtioning cells producing fluid in there but the cells that produce testes are very sensitive to the type of heat they face when in the abdomen for a long time so they die easily. I don't believe wasting resources for a diagnostic trip sbroad is a wise investment. A sperm count is a very simple test to do and reproduce anywhere even in Nigeria. Even if you assume the reason for not having sperm is false, the fact is that he is not producing any.

ileobatojo:

Baby, the woman is correct. Your first question about whether it was one or both testes that were undescended was an excellent one. But now that she confirmed both were undescended, then I have no doubt that what the docs are telling her is true. The procedure they did was not to remove the testes but to bring it down from the stomach into the scrotum, so he still has some funtioning cells producing fluid in there but the cells that produce testes are very sensitive to the type of heat they face when in the abdomen for a long time so they die easily. I don't believe wasting resources for a diagnostic trip sbroad is a wise investment. A sperm count is a very simple test to do and reproduce anywhere even in Nigeria. Even if you assume the reason for not having sperm is false, the fact is that he is not producing any.

Ile, so after 35years in the stomach the testicle can still have functioning cells? Enough to produce fluid that is sperm like? The way she described it is kind of like the guy was producing sperm. Maybe because of lack of experience she does not know if sperm is white or clear. Those may have rung alarm bells to someone that was a little experienced on first encounter. But do you think it is possible the doctors can do something? At least a second opinion?

Gaggi: If madam really is keen on a solution has she tried TB Joshua or that guy at The Chosen for spiritual help as someone here suggested? It may sound funny as even i hardly believe in miracles but desperation drives us to the wall. Who knows where a solution may come from?
Madam is just tired of her husband and wants to bolt. Imagine telling him no sex because u are saving urself for ur new husband yet u come here claiming to be looking for solution to ur 'problem'. How laughable, yet u complain he has an appointment with another woman. This thread stinks of hypocrisy and ridicule. Tgirl, be nice and close this thread abeg.

Take it easy jor. The lady is going through a period now and she might not mean what she said deep down. Do u expect her to just jump up and hug hubby after lying to her and subjecting her to a life-time of misery and ridicule? It takes time and God's grace to forgive and gradually forget.

BTW, I won't recommend any of the above places you listed to my enemy. And yes, I believe in miracles.

Oh, and to clarify further, the reason why they brought the testis down into the scrotum even though it was too late to salvage the sperm producing cells is because of the increased chance of cancer of those testes. And it is impossible to feel a cancerous lump in the testes when it is buried in the abdomen so they can start treating it early. But if it is the scrotum, it is easy to feel even early on (as long as someone, hopefully himself is checking it regularly)

ileobatojo: Oh, and to clarify further, the reason why they brought the testis down into the scrotum even though it was too late to salvage the sperm producing cells is because of the increased chance of cancer of those testes. And it is impossible to feel a cancerous lump in the testes when it is buried in the abdomen so they can start treating it early. But if it is the scrotum, it is easy to feel even early on (as long as someone, hopefully himself is checking it regularly)

Oga o!

This life sef.

[size=32]QUIT [/size] ThANK ME LATER

baby_123:
Ile, so after 35years in the stomach the testicle can still have functioning cells? Enough to produce fluid that is sperm like? The way she described it is kind of like the guy was producing sperm. Maybe because of lack of experience she does not know if sperm is white or clear. Those may have rung alarm bells to someone that was a little experienced on first encounter. But do you think it is possible the doctors can do something? At least a second opinion?

The white liquid is not the sperm, You can't see the spermatozoa, the are very tiny. The white u see the seminal fluid which usually contain the sperm and other stuff.
Semen is produced and originates from the seminal vesicle, which is located in the pelvis.

Tgirl4real:

Oga o!

This life sef.

wow... this is educational///

andromida: This is sad but madam when you went for test b4 the marriage and subjected yourself to tests why did you give him a free pass.? Were you afraid of losing him? And now you are ready to lose him. Check out the last decision you made out of fear and be careful before you make another decision out of fear.

What I am saying is any decision you want to make now should be 100% yours with no fear,no shame, total trust in God and yourself that whatever you do is good enough for you and you can live with it forever.

@ Andromida....with due respect, I think the reverse is the case as he was afraid of losing me...

biolabee:

wow... this is educational///

Abi...

baby_123:

Research is good for understanding a condition. But until a patient has been competently examined, you can never make a conclusion or become your own doctor. What if all your assumptions on his condition are wrong? Is it the doctor that told you it had shrunk 1/4 of the normal size of testes? Are you winding us on this thread? Are you writing a script? You can easily say you have had enough and move on. Then move out of his house. It seems your mind is made up. I wonder why you are still here.

...but I said it earlier....that we have seen some specialists....(UROLOGIST)....
why would you ask such questions Baby_123?....(it pains me that you don't understand)!

ayans4:

...but I said it earlier....that we have seen some specialists....(UROLOGIST)....
why would you ask such questions Baby_123?....(it pains me that you don't understand)!

Sincerely, I feel your pain. People cannot truly understand your frustrations cos we are not wearing the shoes with you, we can only try.

Pele.

ayans4:

...but I said it earlier....that we have seen some specialists....(UROLOGIST)....
why would you ask such questions Baby_123?....(it pains me that you don't understand)!

I understand you clearly. Those same doctors misdiagnosed my father who died. I am telling you from experience to get a second medical opinion. You asked for advice and it seems because this doesn't favour you, you are not willing to explore it. Then why don't you leave him already? If he wants to date someone else, leave him to. There are women for him. Some women don't want kids, others are perfectly fine with adoption, some are single mums looking for a mate but not looking for more kids. You want your own biological kids, you are convinced he can't do that. So please leave him to continue his life. He has lived with this condition at no fault of his. It is by God's grace we are complete. Anything can happen from procreation to birth. You know you cannot be with him, leave him to date that other woman. You pack and find your own man who can give you what you want. No need for anyone cheering you on to do what you want to.

Tgirl4real:

Ok. Here is a good one.

OP, why not try to seek further counsel from different doctors. Also go through the link Gaggi provided.

I am still expecting the email. You can PM me.

@ Baby_123, Gaggi, Tgirl4real, thanks a bunch, but please go through the link carefully.
Azoospermia is broadly classified into the obstructive and the non-obstructive.
the obstructive has to do with the blockage of the vas deferens as stated earlier or a complete absence of the Vas. in that case, s/perm can be harvested from the testes and inseminated into the woman; But the non obstructive Azoospermia is more difficult to treat especially for a person that does not produce s/perm at all due to the germ cell damage. the germ cell is in charge of the genes....so this individual may not be able to transfer his gene because the "engine room" for s/perm production is damaged/ not developed at all....don't forget that this is the major reason a baby may not be able to produce sperm because his testes are not mature or developed.
hope this provides a better insight.

jokepearl:

The white liquid is not the sperm, You can't see the spermatozoa, the are very tiny. The white u see the seminal fluid which usually contain the sperm and other stuff.
Semen is produced and originates from the seminal vesicle, which is located in the pelvis.

I know sperm are invisible to the eye. But such an ejacu*lation cannot look normal if both testes are not functioning.

baby_123:
I understand you clearly. Those same doctors misdiagnosed my father who died. I am telling you from experience to get a second medical opinion. You asked for advice and it seems because this doesn't favour you, you are not willing to explore it. Then why don't you leave him already? If he wants to date someone else, leave him to. There are women for him. Some women don't want kids, others are perfectly fine with adoption, some are single mums looking for a mate but not looking for more kids. You want your own biological kids, you are convinced he can't do that. So please leave him to continue his life. He has lived with this condition at no fault of his. It is by God's grace we are complete. Anything can happen from procreation to birth. You know you cannot be with him, leave him to date that other woman. You pack and find your own man who can give you what you want. No need for anyone cheering you on to do what you want to.

....and if I tell you we have explored your option of other professional opinion.....?

baby_123:
I know sperm are invisible to the eye. But such an ejacu*lation cannot look normal if both testes are not functioning.

....I still don't know what a normal ejaculate is!
talk of identifying it from just its look....do you know if I ever saw s/perm/ ejacu.late before marriage....and still have seen no other....so....I can't tell what the normal ejaculate looks like.....
***weeping***

ayans4:

....and if I tell you we have explored your option of other professional opinion.....?

Why didn't you say so two pages ago? And why are you wasting people's time here? You seem to have all the answers. What else are you looking for? No need for making yourself miserable or the guy miserable. Leave him alone. It clearly is a useless adventure for both of you to stay together. You will always resent him. Pack to your mother's house and get an anullment. If he is dating anyone leave him alone. Just advice him to let the other lady know. As there is a lady for him out there.

I know you are still hurting but I wish you guys can work things out. If you chose to stay, you can give him conditions as to what you want, like a form of insurance for your future.

ayans4:
....I still don't know what a normal ejaculate is!
talk of identifying it from just its look....do you know if I ever saw s/perm/ ejacu.late before marriage....and still have seen no other....so....I can't tell what the normal ejaculate looks like.....
***weeping***

Well am sorry my sister. You did the right thing by following God's doctrines. However, some of us believe in test driving. At least you would have felt the balls and knew something was up. With your next man, you will realize the difference.

Op

What exactly are you after?You have done your homework thoroughly,doctor and researchwise.You do not need validation from people who are anonymous.
From all you have written,your mind is made up.You've even separated since January.So,what gives?You've said an annulment is your next line of action,so please go ahead if that's what makes you pleased.
You are the one wearing the shoe,you are the one living the life.It's what YOU want to happen that will happen.Everyone has made input,choose the one that best suits you and move on with it.

On donor sperm,you have cited the different men thing and what familial diseases the donor sperm owner may have. I respect that cos it's really a decision for the brave and open minded.And the love between the couple has to be very very solid.You and your hubby appear not to be well suited.
I'd like to add that epilepsy or diabetes does not make a child less of a person.It is harder to raise that baby yes,but it doesn't make him or her less loveable.Outside Nigeria people have children with Downs syndrome,cerebral palsy,autism etc and you need to see how they care for these kids,no discrimination.
It is the discriminatory attitude we Nigerians have that leads to people having difficulty opening up about their various illnesses.That is why your DH could not be honest with you.Here,people open up about everything,even HIV,cancer and they sure as heck find those who will love them like that.Congenital diseases abound and it's not the fault of the person.
All we need is just a little more love in our hearts..just a teeny little bit.

Now,i see he has added possible adultery to the list of crimes..so,you finally have a way out.Take it if you want to and live your life.Let him also move forward and learn to stop lying.If you both stay together,you will resent him and make his life miserable abeg.

Sorry for this mess but if you can't go on,just free the man and yourself.I hope you find what you are searching for.

baby_123:
Ile, so after 35years in the stomach the testicle can still have functioning cells? Enough to produce fluid that is sperm like? The way she described it is kind of like the guy was producing sperm. Maybe because of lack of experience she does not know if sperm is white or clear. Those may have rung alarm bells to someone that was a little experienced on first encounter. But do you think it is possible the doctors can do something? At least a second opinion?

Baby, the fluid that comes out as sperm or seminal fluid comes from different contributions (it is a mixture of fluids/nutrients and materials from different sources). Most of it comes from the seminal vesicles which is located in the pelvis beside the bladder, so right there you can see that even without testes, there can be ejaculate produced. It just will not contain spermatozoa. As the semen flows through the reproductive tract, it collects contributions from other glands and the testes including the spermatozoa (if any). So these get added on to the fluid to make it the complete package. But yes, it can come out, just missing some parts, that's all. Oh and the part that comes from the seminal vesicles (which is the bulk of it) is not clear in color. So that may not help differentiate much.

As to what the doctors can do in this case? Not much. Beyond a miracle, he simple does not have viable spermatozoa producing cells anymore.

@ OP, he is infertile and having your own biologic children is very important to you. You are against sperm donation/adoption. You can't forgive him for the deceit. You already moved out 6 months ago and have not moved back in. I'm not sure what you really want to hear from us. It sounds like your next step is to put finishing touches to the divorce and move on.

^^
Very right..Only cure since it's congenital and non obstructive is a miracle.
Hard condition to live with esp for a Nigerian male.I hope he opens his heart to love a child that may not be biologically his in future.

Quiet touching, but I'll be as frank as possible.
First, divorce is out of the picture. Remember the words of Jesus in Mat 19:9 CEV: "I say that if your wife has not committed some terrible sexual sin, you must not divorce her to marry someone else. If you do, you are unfaithful." These infallible words from the lips of the Master apply, vice versa. In this case, your husband hasn't done such, as you pointed out, at least in the context of marriage.

Secondly, medical science has proven to be of tremendous help; all these options are quiet reasonable, and godly too, so, you might want to consider them carefully. Adoption is also excellent. In fact, God loves and supports that; the Bible calls Him a Father to the orphans.

Thirdly, you married your husband, not his family. And whatever they've said or done to you wrongly, can be covered by your umbrella of love. Paul gave an insight in Romans 5:5 CEV, that God has given us the Holy Spirit, who fills our hearts with his love. So, you are full of love; just let it out!

Lastly, c'mmon, put your faith to work! Don't shy away because of this seemingly minor challenge. Paul calls it "our light affliction." Another translation puts it thus: "small and temporary trouble." Hebrews 11:3 gives an insight on how God created the worlds by His words. So, together, with your husband, go ahead and create through your faith-embellished words, a brand new testes, sperms, conception and babies. You can effect that desired change through faith!