bukatyne:

@Posters who believe the husband did not know his condition, he fully did.

@Posters who are quoting 'in sickness and in health...' part of the vow, remember that the pastor also asks 'if there is any impediment...' and he said 'I don't!'

@Posters giving hubby the license to cheat because she has not been at home since Jan, I wonder what would happen if she travels for a year. I am also sure that suddenly, the martial vows she should uphold doesn't hold for the husband. I am also sure that even though the wife is to behave like a 'Christian', the husband should not.

@OP: Like I said, pray to God for direction. He might have shown you that your hubby was not the right person but you still insisted on marrying him. He might also want to use this to test your faith. listen to Him so that you do not short change yourself at the end.

maclatunji: OP if it were my sister, I would tell her to walk out of the marriage as in divorce and be discreet about the reason to the public.

There was deceit before the marriage and you did nothing wrong as a spinster and wife. The fault is your husbands.

chaircover: Ive gone back and read every single of the op's posts line by line and nowhere has she said that the husband admitted that he knew that he could never father a child.

He has had some issues with his testes and had an op at age 11, something he himself may not remember but his parents would have told him, but there is a possibility that he didn't know that the end diagnosis/effect of all that was childlessness for life and maybe he just felt that there would be a few challenges but they would def have children.

His family from the sounds of it def didn't know that the operation was not in any way beneficial to his fertility. they probably were told that it was to help him make a woman pregnant later in life. No one knows what the doctors told his parents at the time. They certainty wont know that their child was impotent and still chase the woman out blaming her for their childlessness. That doesn't make sense at all.

We also dont know if the doctors even diagnosed undescended testes in time and not all parents especially new mothers know where/what to check. I had never heard about the condition until I took my baby for the 6 week check. That is one of the things that the doctors check for. I dont think that even if the parents were told, they fully understood effects of not having the op done on time. No one wants their child to be infertile.

Efemena_xy: ^^

Because he was already sexually active and had told her so. So it stands to reason from a precautionary point of view that he be checked.

Although I don't see what the need for her to do it at that time, was for, as she was a virgin. Except perhaps, to further prove her purity to him.

chaircover: The truth though bitter, from a religious point of view adultery is the only reason for divorce. She should choose a decision that she will be able to live and feel comfortable with. No one can make it for her and no one can judge her because she is the one going through it and knows how it all feels.

Something else that has gotten me thinking is why do prospective couples do std tests etc? Is it because no one can trust anyone these days? which is really sad at what relationships and the world have come to. Too many lies all over the place. sexx is on demand everywhere. I dont think that in my mothers age, husbands and wives to be carried out std tests on each other. relationships & courtships were "pure" in those days. Now its a jungle out there. Sorry for the digression.

Siena:
And for those who will tell me "God hates divorce", they can all take a long walk off a very short plank. It's all too easy to come across as self-righteous when you're not on the receiving end of the biggest deception that could ever occur in matrimony. I moved on with my life, and I've got two beautiful children, and couldn't be happier.

ocheezie: I'm assuming you had a Christian wedding. And that this is a form of sickness for your husband. And that in the marital vows,you said 'I do' to...in sickness and in health,till death do us part. U can't divorce him on grounds of ill-health. If u weren't going to have pre-marital sex, u should have done fertility and other tests prior to taking those vows. Hard as it may sound,adoption is an option.so many kids out there seeking motherly love,even around you. The solution lies with you and ur man, not here,not with his ur family or friends. Talk it over.what if u divorce him and the next man,God forbid,has d same issues,or develops something like it afterwards? U move again?

chaircover: Siena The poster said that she is a Christian and I know that it’s her “belief” that made her come here looking for solutions and not just walking away the moment she found out.

If the same happened to me, I know what I will do. . and truthfully, there is a possibility that it will be against Gods word, but that doesn’t mean that God word will change or He will rewrite things because of me. That’s the difference . . .We are human and He is God.

ayans4u: Thanks Siena....
I can really identify with that feeling of having my own children.....just yesterday, a new neighbour's "help" was carrying a baby on her back, and I just wanted to touch/carry the baby, and the help just told me she was on her way to.....so there fore...no time for such....do you know that I almost broke down to tears immediately....I had to go into my bedroom to cry my heart out as....if I had my beautiful kids....would I even notice the baby....talk of....but it is well!

ayans4u: Thanks Siena....
I can really identify with that feeling of having my own children.....just yesterday, a new neighbour's "help" was carrying a baby on her back, and I just wanted to touch/carry the baby, and the help just told me she was on her way to.....so there fore...no time for such....do you know that I almost broke down to tears immediately....I had to go into my bedroom to cry my heart out as....if I had my beautiful kids....would I even notice the baby....talk of....but it is well!

Siena: Personally, I would go for a divorce, and move on with my life.

I've been there before, and I know what it's like. My ex-wife did the same to me. She was anorexic as a young teen, and by the age of 26, had been diagnosed with POF (Premature Ovarian Failure). So she'd never have kids, ever. In her case, she told me before we got married, this was when she was 38. I accepted her condition, as we had looked at surrogacy and/or adoption.

What got me mad was she changed her mind, after we got married! There's nothing worse than this sort of deception. You may well say "deal with it", "God's time is the best", etc. But guess what? Life's not like that. You may decide to ride it out, and feel you can cope with not having kids. But trust me, each time I saw kids in their buggies and strollers, I had that ache. I wanted kids of my own, and with my wife digging her heals in, and being obstinate, I embarked on a series of affairs, not caring if she found out or not. I didn't bother covering my tracks, as I was at the point of no return. I couldn't be with a woman who was a blatant liar, the thought of spending the rest of my natural life with her chilled my blood.

I'm not saying the OP should do what I did, but she needs to be sure what sticking with a guy who would con a woman into marrying her could do to her. I'm a guy, and the thought of never having kids touched my very soul, I can't begin to imagine what it must be like for a woman, with the maternal instinct raging within her.

And for those who will tell me "God hates divorce", they can all take a long walk off a very short plank. It's all too easy to come across as self-righteous when you're not on the receiving end of the biggest deception that could ever occur in matrimony. I moved on with my life, and I've got two beautiful children, and couldn't be happier.