Agrika: @ sanniemoe, i had to restrain myself from insulting the daylights out of you when i first read your post, for your information due to the predominant catholic presence in igbo land, divorce is more or less seen as a taboo, the traditional religion abhors it sef thats why a typical igbo woman will rather "endure" whatever kind of character being displayed by her hubby than to leave the marriage, as for your claim to infidelity, hmmm i wont even answer you untill you tell us what tribe you are from?.....and by the way the last time i checked most igbo girls dont like marrying non-igbo men.

if u had done that,I would have replied so no offence taken. ..

johnnyblakes: with their weak albino joystick,tah comot their make i see front jor

Rotfl... Yéparipa

@Agrika I be Yoruba boy. I know infidelity is here too but not as much as what ive seen in igbo land. The ladies are too materialistic,only a small percentage can actually boast of staying tight till d end.. the educated ones are too ambitious and dont care what happens to family in pursuit of their dreams...

Earthly women irritate me. She must be from Pluto.

Boll2010: puke

Don't be jealous.

johnnyblakes: with their weak albino joystick,tah comot their make i see front jor

I am sorry a white man took your bish.

sanniemoe: @Agrika I be Yoruba boy. I know infidelity is here too but not as much as what ive seen in igbo land. The ladies are too materialistic,only a small percentage can actually boast of staying tight till d end.. the educated ones are too ambitious and dont care what happens to family in pursuit of their dreams...

Yea right! Funke Akindele, Ayo Adesanya and Nike Osinowo are all Igbo women.

Promiscuity is in all tribes even though most tribes will be quick to point to Yorubas as the most promiscuous tribe.

Educated Igbo women too ambitious? Pls our culture doesn't permit that. Yoruba women are the ambitious one which is why the richest Nigerian woman is Yoruba: their culture permits women to be ambitious.

I claim 2 tribes and those are the ONLY tribes I can MANAGE to marry from.... so NO, I can NEVER marry out of these tribes, not in this world or the next.


Why can't I.....tribe? From my experience with other tribes, even though I do not mean to generalize... I will forever pass.
Oh and my mama will kill me

ichidodo: Yorubas! Always having problems with ibos.Nobody ask you too marry igbo, stick to your women and their crazy ways.

Lol, when this kind of question is asked, teens and adults who haven't learnt from reality will say:

Yes, I can marry from mars, I even wish to marry from galaxy and venus...because they know little or nothing about life.

In as much as I am not against inter-tribal marriage, we can't divorce the fact that inter-tribal marriages fail more easily than one within same tribe. The tendency of failure of inter-tribal and interracial marriages are high...

We always answer this question based on our youth mindset, thinking that marriage is dating, youthful lovey dovey and all of that, forgetting that marriage goes beyond those things...think beyond now, think into the future when u both are old...think when u die...will your partner, especially the woman still have the love and desire to go back to your hometown with your kids.

I only decided to respond to this because I and a group of friends and a brother debated on this last night cos a cousin is planning to marry a lady from a diff tribe.

So many scenarios were cited for him last night that made me stood in awe.

We had two guys from diff tribes, northern and yoruba...and they also gave their own reason why they won't marry from another tribe and was advising the guy not to...

So guys and ladies, before u take this decision of marrying from a different tribe or race, ask yourself: will my spouse, especially the woman still accept my hometown/tribe when I am gone, when I am old...will she still desire to be visiting my hometown with my kids or will she take my children and re-direct them to her place and even convince them that my tribe and hometown isn't their real home but her own place. Lots of women do this...

A family friend, very influential man married a Togolese woman, he lived in Togo, everyone thought the Togo woman was nice until this man died last 3 years and u won't believe that the woman and her family didn't release his corpse to our people to bury him in our land...he was buried in Togo with heavy security guard to prevent our people from coming.

They said that's their tradition. All his properties were coveted by his Togo wife as I speak, the only thing he has in Nigeria are the houses he built here and the one he built in the village.

His mother never saw her son's dead body. And since the last 3 years, the wife hasn't come back to Nigeria or to the village since the husband died.

If I keep narrating so many other stories and scenarios here for u guys, u will understand why people avoid inter-tribal and inter-racial marriages.

Let me rest my case here for now...but let's not allow our youthful exuberances and what people say beclawed our life decisions, especially marital decisions cos marriage has sent so many great people to early death and condemnation.

May God help us all. Goodmorning

I'll never understand how you wake up first thing in the morning to type textbooks. Lol.

Anyway, osondi owendi. Inter-tribal/inter-racial dating may not work for everyone, but for me, it's not enough to condemn it as there are plenty people in those relationships who swear they are the happiest couple on earth. You love who you love. Tribe and/or race/ethnicity will never be a factor for me, and I don't think it should be for others.

...and to the ladies pls before u agree to marry a guy from a different tribe, race, etc, ask yourself these questions:

1. What if this guy dies along the line, will I still have the love and desire for his people and his tribe like I do when he was alive?

2. Am I accepting this guy becos I just want to marry, becos I feel we love each other or am I accepting him, his family, his tribe, his culture, his tradition and beliefs?

If you marry him just becos u love him alone, and u haven't wholeheartedly accepted his tribe, family, culture, etc and ready to denounce your own culture/tradition to stick to his forever, whether he's alive or dead, then be rest assured that u aren't truly ready to marry from another tribe/race becos marriage is not just about good good and young age...its about future, forever, till old age.

3. If this guy dies, will I stop going to his hometown, participating in his family issues and taking his children to his hometown and making them understand that their true home is in their fatherland?

This is the major reason Nigerian men who marry white women marry another wife back home for a backup becos they know that when they die or when they become old, their foreign wives will never allow their children to come back to Nigeria again, some will even denounce being Nigerians.

Yoruba, Benin, Igbo etc women also do this to their non-yoruba, non-benin, non-Igbo etc husbands. They always flee with the children once the man dies or its old. They denounce the man's tribe/hometown, and no sane man with integrity and good home background want such to happen to him or his children.

These are some of the challenges facing inter-tribal and inter-racial marriages.

Lastly, whenever there is a disagreement between couples who come from different tribes, for instance: A Yoruba man and Hausa woman, Igbo man vs Yoruba woman, or say Igbo man vs Hausa woman, or Benin vs Hausa, it always lead to breakup whereas if they were from same tribe, family will come in easily to mend things and reconcile them back.

Honestly, there are so many challenges in inter-tribal marriage...and inter-racial marriage...one of my brothers did...and it wasn't easy...it wasn't....despite the love the guy had for the lady and her tribe...the lady only married him for her selfish reasons, she never accepted his tribe and culture...and this is one of the major issues...ladies only accept a man and not his background/tribe/belief/culture/etc which ought to be the way.

Pls and pls...let's look well before we leap...I love Hausas so much...I do....but...may God help us sha.

ogugua88: I'll never understand how you wake up first thing in the morning to type textbooks. Lol.

Anyway, osondi owendi. Inter-tribal/inter-racial dating may not work for everyone, but for me, it's not enough to condemn it as there are plenty people in those relationships who swear they are the happiest couple on earth. You love who you love. Tribe and/or race/ethnicity will never be a factor for me, and I don't think it should be for others.

lol, my sister, I type fast, I love details...I love reading voluminous write-ups...its now a part of me...I enjoy big grammar...I am not good at summary abeg...besides, where I am...I am free, no work...lol...reason I logged in here and saw this.

And of course u have d right to make ur decision dear...but I only aired my opinion, it may save some souls...u won't understand until u get in...God will help us all...our future is in His hands and not just on our smart decisions alone. But we must do our part. Goodluck

Before you condemn intertribal marriage you should prove that 100% of marriages of the same tribe are successful. Using 1 case study to generalize is very wrong.

The way and manner u guys reason and respond to comments isn't nice. I didn't said everyone must marry from his tribe or race, never. I didn't impose anyone to do so. I only pointed out some challenges based on my own experience...and u don't expect everyone to agree that inter-tribal or inter-racial marriage is best or worst.

Everyone has their opinion...I only aired my and advised readers to tread cautiously before deciding to marry from a different tribe or race.

And if we face reality, there are so many challenges that face inter-tribal and inter-racial marriages, ranging from:

1. Language
2. Culture
3. Tradition
4. Belief
5. Family values and norms
6. That natural flow one feels when dealing with someone from his/her tribe/race isn't always there...even though we may not know or may claim to be in love...its always hard.

Finally, in the Bible, Abraham advised his servant never to get a wife for Isaac from the foreign land where they sojourned. He advised his servant to pls go back to his relatives to find a wife for Isaac. That relative is in-line with tribe.

God knew y he didn't just used sand to mold a wife for Adam but He used His rib...someone that will be close to Adam. He could have used sand as well and mold a woman for Adam...but He didn't...He used Adam's rib...so that they can have some things in common.

My brother, I may end up marrying from other tribe...but before I can, I must make enquiries, both from God and from man. I won't just jump in cos I saw a beautiful woman I feel I love...marriage goes beyond the love u feel for a lady or a man u met...at the long run...its not only love that sustains marriage...ask married people.

ogugua88: I'll never understand how you wake up first thing in the morning to type textbooks. Lol.

Anyway, osondi owendi. Inter-tribal/inter-racial dating may not work for everyone, but for me, it's not enough to condemn it as there are plenty people in those relationships who swear they are the happiest couple on earth. You love who you love. Tribe and/or race/ethnicity will never be a factor for me, and I don't think it should be for others.

God bless you jare... Leave people bringing up redundant posts as regards inter-tribal marriages. If you don't like it, good and fine. Everyone is entitled to do whatever he/she deems fit.

Does tribal marriage guarantee happiness all through the marital period? Nope! Infact, most igbos around me happens to be married to peeps from their tribe, and you wanna know how the marriages of most of em are going? I don't wanna say...

The thing is; marry someone you love and you will wanna spend the rest of your life with come what may. Sometimes I begin to ruminate if this is God's plan for us Nigerians. Do you actually think God would not want us to cross-breed? Why all the discrimination? And did I hear someone say that Nigeria can ever be united? That ain't gonna happen in the slightest margin. You know why? Everyone tends to think they are the best and wanna segregate themselves from the rest. And we say we want peace and unity in Nigeria. I am sorry that is just a mere phantasmagoria or rather just a castle some people are trying to build in the air because if we cannot start from the root then how do we think it can work up there?

Tell me; if you have your parents from different ethnicity and maybe trouble is looming between such ethnic groups(let's say your parents are from Igbo and yoruba lands) would you rather stand on the side of your mom or on the side of your dad (let's say you have to choose one) or would you rather not stand on both sides and face whatever that comes. As awkward as that illustration might seem, it tells you that inter-tribal marriage places us in good stead in making sure we are unified.

That is not to condemn tribal marriages in any way. But please, if you have a different view as regards inter - tribal marriage, it's okay but stop condemning it in any way. I was very surprised when a parishioner from my church was speaking my language whom I thought was from my place and I happened to know that he is Ibo but his wife is from my place. At that time I tripped cause he was speaking it with his wife and other times they code-switch to speaking igbo language. Just imagine what that means to the growth and the love within the family... Infact, is it just me or what, but most families that I know who share different tribes happens to live happily. I am not talking about outside happiness and sadness inside, I am talking about happiness in and out.

Well, I never expected to write something as long as this cause I am not even in the mood these days, but I hate it when someone tries to coin something from some baseless and redundant points. It's just...

jmoore: Before you condemn intertribal marriage you should prove that 100% of marriages of the same tribe are successful. Using 1 case study to generalize is very wrong.

I wonder ooooo. The thing is: what guarantee do we have in tribal marriage? Infact to be sincere, most Ibos I know married from their tribes, and frankly most have broken or badly-shaped homes... So what are we talking about? Abegi!

...remember, in every rule, there is always an exception. There must be one or two successful inter-tribal or inter-racial marriage, but we are looking at the majority here...are u ready to place your life and future on fate?

Are u ready to gamble with your future and happiness

Haven't u wondered y we have so many failed marriages nowadays unlike in the past despite the technology, educational, scientific advancements

We have all derailed from nature. In the past, u dare not marry from a farther community talkless of different tribe.

And before u do, your parents, family and tribesmen will make so many enquiries about your spouse: about sickness, family disease, family traits that aren't good like the tendency of robbery, crime, etc.

They will carry out so many researches before letting their offspring marry someone. And those investigations helped marriages in the past. But today, James meets Anne in Jamaica and they fall physically in love and start planning marriage and before u know it, he has impregnated her and they start living like couple manufacturing kids and answering husband and wife.

Years on...eventuality might occur and the James dies...Anne refuse to go back to see James' parents/family and start re-programming the kids to believe that their father's place is evil, bad, blah blah blah.

In some cases, when they have issues, no family ties to mend things and b4 u know it, the marriage hits the rock.

We all must start thinking into the future and not just being selfish and considering now alone. Marriage isn't a child's play. It isn't about sex and romance and cars and beautiful houses and global vacation...its a big institution.

Peace

DailyNews: The way and manner u guys reason and respond to comments isn't nice. I didn't said everyone must marry from his tribe or race, never. I didn't impose anyone to do so. I only pointed out some challenges based on my own experience...and u don't expect everyone to agree that inter-tribal or inter-racial marriage is best or worst.

Everyone has their opinion...I only aired my and advised readers to tread cautiously before deciding to marry from a different tribe or race.

And if we face reality, there are so many challenges that face inter-tribal and inter-racial marriages, ranging from:

1. Language
2. Culture
3. Tradition
4. Belief
5. Family values and norms
6. That natural flow one feels when dealing with someone from his/her tribe/race isn't always there...even though we may not know or may claim to be in love...its always hard.

Finally, in the Bible, Abraham advised his servant never to get a wife for Isaac from the foreign land where they sojourned. He advised his servant to pls go back to his relatives to find a wife for Isaac. That relative is in-line with tribe.

God knew y he didn't just used sand to mold a wife for Adam but He used His rib...someone that will be close to Adam. He could have used sand as well and mold a woman for Adam...but He didn't...He used Adam's rib...so that they can have some things in common.

My brother, I may end up marrying from other tribe...but before I can, I must make enquiries, both from God and from man. I won't just jump in cos I saw a beautiful woman I feel I love...marriage goes beyond the love u feel for a lady or a man u met...at the long run...its not only love that sustains marriage...ask married people.

From your last paragraph it is safe to assert that, if you are gonna marry from your tribe you ain't gonna make enquiries from God and from man. Now I see...

Tribal marriages face challenges too. The same principle can be applied in both.

We simply gave a brief answer to the question asked by the op.

dmcdad:
From your last paragraph it is safe to assert that, if you are gonna marry from your tribe you ain't gonna make enquiries from God and from man. Now I see...

lol, you're funny dmclad....Yes/No.

Yes in the sense that if I am marrying a girl from my tribe, I already know majority of our culture/tradition/norms/belief...so I won't need much enquiry about those...unlike when I decide to marry a lady from Zimbabwe, of which many don't even make enquiry until eventuality occurs, ask my brother...don't base ur judgment based on what u think or belief is right. We learn from others' experience, that was why Bible, Quran, etc were written to guide us.

When inter-tribal or inter-racial marriages fail, they fall completely apart and in pieces unlike when same tribe/race marriage fails...if u doubt me, start today to collect data on that.

...and to think any sane Caucasian man from a well to do family would give you a black man his daughter to marry, lol...my friends do gist me...lol...

Our brothers who marry Caucassians marry those from lower end...aged, divorced, obessed, etc, cos its very difficult for a real Caucassian to give a black his daughter to marry and very rare for a real Caucasian guy with nice Caucasian background to marry a black. They know why.

A Jewish man can never give you a black man his daughter to marry, very much impossible. All these are for a reason, cos they know...they understand...and same with Indians. But we Nigerians love violating natural laws...we marry anyhow, even without enquiries...most times we Nigerians marry based on:

1. Materialism
2. Desperation
3. Selfish reasons
4. Religious bigotism

Yes I can

jmoore: Tribal marriages face challenges too. The same principle can be applied in both.

We simply gave a brief answer to the question asked by the op.

Jmoore, pls calm down, we aren't quarreling o...I love constructive and enlightening debates. Have been into debating from childhood...school...air...etc...so drop personal feelings/sentiments/temperament and just pour out your opinion, it may help someone.

I have no issue with anyone marrying from anywhere he/she decides...I am only pouring out my mind based on my personal experience and things I have heard or seen...and also using it to fore-warn others to tread carefully, that's all.

Pls if u feel irritated with my opinion, forgive me pls...u can just ignore my comments or take them casual pls.

I am just relaxing here and enjoying the thread...been long I engaged in an online discussion like this, so its a nice opportunity again in a topic I have interest

jmoore: Tribal marriages face challenges too. The same principle can be applied in both.

We simply gave a brief answer to the question asked by the op.

Exactly my line of argument.

DailyNews: lol, you're funny dmclad....Yes/No.

Yes in the sense that if I am marrying a girl from my tribe, I already know majority of our culture/tradition/norms/belief...so I won't need much enquiry about those...unlike when I decide to marry a lady from Zimbabwe, of which many don't even make enquiry until eventuality occurs, ask my brother...don't base ur judgment based on what u think or belief is right. We learn from others' experience, that was why Bible, Quran, etc were written to guide us.

When inter-tribal or inter-racial marriages fail, they fall completely apart and in pieces unlike when same tribe/race marriage fails...if u doubt me, start today to collect data on that.

...and to think any sane Caucasian man from a well to do family would give you a black man his daughter to marry, lol...my friends do gist me...lol...

Our brothers who marry Caucassians marry those from lower end...aged, divorced, obessed, etc, cos its very difficult for a real Caucassian to give a black his daughter to marry and very rare for a real Caucasian guy with nice Caucasian background to marry a black. They know why.

A Jewish man can never give you a black man his daughter to marry, very much impossible. All these are for a reason, cos they know...they understand...and same with Indians. But we Nigerians love violating natural laws...we marry anyhow, even without enquiries...most times we Nigerians marry based on:

1. Materialism
2. Desperation
3. Selfish reasons
4. Religious bigotism

You are just not correct bruv... Please try and see the light of this. And what os it with the "that is why so many marriages fail today"? Okay now let me as you something, and try not to give me an epistle but a short and precise answer. If you attribute inter-tribal marriage as a big factor in why divorce turns out to be the order of the day for many today, then what seems to be the problem with Americans who doesn't have such cultural and tribal diversity like we do and yet have the highest divorce rate?

It's either your anser negate all the epistles you have been posting about inter - tribal marriage being the instigator of most marriage failures / divorce or your answer will lean towards bringing thw real nitty-gritties that brings about divorce of which inter - tribal marriage is no where near a factor that makes it erupt these days.

DailyNews: lol, you're funny dmclad....Yes/No.

Yes in the sense that if I am marrying a girl from my tribe, I already know majority of our culture/tradition/norms/belief...so I won't need much enquiry about those...unlike when I decide to marry a lady from Zimbabwe, of which many don't even make enquiry until eventuality occurs, ask my brother...don't base ur judgment based on what u think or belief is right. We learn from others' experience, that was why Bible, Quran, etc were written to guide us.

When inter-tribal or inter-racial marriages fail, they fall completely apart and in pieces unlike when same tribe/race marriage fails...if u doubt me, start today to collect data on that.

...and to think any sane Caucasian man from a well to do family would give you a black man his daughter to marry, lol...my friends do gist me...lol...

Our brothers who marry Caucassians marry those from lower end...aged, divorced, obessed, etc, cos its very difficult for a real Caucassian to give a black his daughter to marry and very rare for a real Caucasian guy with nice Caucasian background to marry a black. They know why.

A Jewish man can never give you a black man his daughter to marry, very much impossible. All these are for a reason, cos they know...they understand...and same with Indians. But we Nigerians love violating natural laws...we marry anyhow, even without enquiries...most times we Nigerians marry based on:

1. Materialism
2. Desperation
3. Selfish reasons
4. Religious bigotism

To be sincere and honest with you, all these are baseless and redundant to the highest level... Well, I think I know what's wrong with you and you just need to try and control or contain it...

Lol, oh no, I will disappoint u becos my reply will be very lengthy, lol.

And pls...I only referenced that haven't u wondered y we have increased rate of marital failures today, I then said that its becos we people of today marry anyhow without making proper enquiries abt who we plan to marry, I didn't say its cos of inter-tribal marriage that we have increased marital failure now, get me@dmc?

Oh maybe I didn't put it well. I only referenced on lack of proper enquiries as part of y today marriages fail and not inter-tribal marriage pls.

Now back to Jmoore's last comment. All marriages have d tendency of failing...but not with equal probability or rate, u know y?

See, every job have risk, every business have risk too but there are jobs and businesses with high risk, and such attract high insurance prem.

You can't compare the risk an engineer working on a rig platform above d atlantic ocean faces with the risk an engineer supervising the installation of a tank farm in ogun state.

You can compare the risk a scientist working in a nuclear power plant faces with that of a scientist working a laboratory in a hospital.

Everything in life have risk, but some have high risk.

There is what we call: high risk investments and they usually come with high yield unlike those with low risk.

What am I saying in essence? Due to:

Language, cultural, background, belief, family norms, tradition, orientation, etc differences, inter-racial and inter-tribal marriages have more tendencies of failing than same race or same tribe marriages.

Agreed, all marriages have the possibility of failing but not with equal probabilities or tendencies. That's my point bro.