.

koyes: Ok, please answer this question honestly. Does a lady's self confidence have anytn to do with feminism? What is your defination of feminism?

Self-confidence is a welcome trait anyday anytime. Most men want a confident woman by his side. However, FEMINISM IS A CONFRONTATIONAL KIND OF CONFIDENCE. Confronting others below you on the organogram (i.e. Kids, ur friends etc) is very okay. But not the husband. It will send the impression of a power tussle. We all know how wars end eventually. Plus feminism is requesting equality (50/50). Not bad but its best not practiced at home.

Whats up with nairaland?! Who's badluck? Hey who are you?

I'll answer it for my broda. Self confidence is suppose to make you know who you are, "I'm a woman, I have a womb and can bear children, I will marry a good man because I want to enjoy him and my children"... These is totally different from the kind of confidence that makes you to challenge authority. Challenging authority is mutiny and not equality. When a woman evolves she defends and later want control. That's the feminism scheme which you're acting knowingly or subconciously... Repent sister!

koyes: Ok, please answer this question honestly. Does a lady's self confidence have anytn to do with feminism? What is your defination of feminism?

GBAM!

bettermike: Self-confidence is a welcome trait anyday anytime. Most men want a confident woman by his side. However, FEMINISM IS A CONFRONTATIONAL KIND OF CONFIDENCE. Confronting others below you on the organogram (i.e. Kids, ur friends etc) is very okay. But not the husband. It will send the impression of a power tussle. We all know how wars end eventually. Plus feminism is requesting equality (50/50). Not bad but its best not practiced at home.

koyes: Domineering men never make good homes. Learn that!

Look real men dont dominate for dominating sakes. They respect their woman but they also know that they've got a home to lead. You use the word dominate as oppresional. I think they are two different things.

warrior101: I'll answer it for my broda. Self confidence is suppose to make you know who you are, "I'm a woman, I have a womb and can bear children, I will marry a good man because I want to enjoy him and my children"... These is totally different from the kind of confidence that makes you to challenge authority. Challenging authority is mutiny and not equality. When a woman evolves she defends and later want control. That's the feminism scheme which you're acting knowingly or subconciously... Repent sister!

Am sure you didnt see my post before puting out this post. Yet, we said the same thing. I just wish someone is learning. The wrong ideas have been flying on NL for too long.

No I was busy composing when you must have posted yours and it seem as though its the same person using two different handles. Lol

Sigh! Bro? Forget, we are not alone... We go find our own match sooner than later... God is on our side.

bettermike: Am sure you didnt see my post before puting out this post. Yet, we said the same thing. I just wish someone is learning. The wrong ideas have been flying on NL for too long.

Ok,please educate your new friend on tha defination cause he has no clue. Secondly, would i be wrong to air my views in the home and in public such as nairaland. Thirdly, if my view on matters happen to be reasonable to my husband ,would it be wrong for him to take my point into consideration or simple dismiss it just because my husband is the head?

bettermike: Self-confidence is a welcome trait anyday anytime. Most men want a confident woman by his side. However, FEMINISM IS A CONFRONTATIONAL KIND OF CONFIDENCE. Confronting others below you on the organogram (i.e. Kids, ur friends etc) is very okay. But not the husband. It will send the impression of a power tussle. We all know how wars end eventually. Plus feminism is requesting equality (50/50). Not bad but its best not practiced at home.

warrior101: No I was busy composing when you must have posted yours and it seem as though its the same person using two different handles. Lol

Sigh! Bro? Forget, we are not alone... We go find our own match sooner than later... God is on our side.

lol. Bros, i realy hope and pray we find our own women. Honestly, I wont like to grow old alone.

bukatyne:

Kai! I must unearth your former moniker

That is what I was trying to tell njokusboy: There is a difference between Christian submissiveness and 'submissiveness'

A lot of people don't know what Christian submissiveness is all about

I gave you both sides, it was left for you to decide...
If christian submissiveness isnt what is written in the bible, then na only u sabi dat one...

You just said real men don't dominate. Why do you then see as a positive term?or are fake men allowed to dominate?

bettermike: Look real men dont dominate for dominating sakes. They respect their woman but they also know that they've got a home to lead. You use the word dominate as oppresional. I think they are two different things.

PocketEconomist: i said i wasn't gonna comment again, but this comment struck me. Wow! @koyes, you are right, but everyone here should not resort to calling people names. I think the problem is that some men mix culture and relighon i.e. Telling the woman to be submissive on the grounds of the bible and at the same time,want to be dominant based on culture. I may be wrong though.

You are very wrong sir, the ladies have a problem with "submissiveness" in the cultural sense... They feel it was a tool invented by men to oppress them....
I was merely expanding, trying to let them know that even the bible admonishes submission on the part of the ladies... One lady wrongly asserted that submission was equivalent to slavery.. Nd I needed to bring in the bible to correct her, if she still insists that submission was chauvinistic, she could maybe take her grouse to God, because she is indirectly saying God is a slavemaster or a chauvinist... Shey u grab?

koyes: Ok,please educate your new friend on tha defination cause he has no clue. Secondly, would i be wrong to air my views in the home and in public such as nairaland. Thirdly, if my view on matters happen to be reasonable to my husband ,would it be wrong for him to take my point into consideration or simple dismiss it just because my husband is the head?

Do i realy need to educate warrior the more? He's brilliant already. BIG BIG questions you've raised. I'll take them in turns. 1) Will you be wrong to air your views at home or in public? Absolutely not. Last i checked, we have the right to do so. However, there's a way you'l air those views that would discourage men from you. Opinions are okay but let it end there. Feminists are known to fight till their opinion is adopted. I think a woman who wants to keep a home should know when to push and when to back down.

koyes: Ok,please educate your new friend on tha defination cause he has no clue. Secondly, would i be wrong to air my views in the home and in public such as nairaland. Thirdly, if my view on matters happen to be reasonable to my husband ,would it be wrong for him to take my point into consideration or simple dismiss it just because my husband is the head?

2) Will it be reasonable for a man to adopt a woman's opinion when he is wrong? Well, Yes. A man can adopt his woman's opinion where better. However, IT WILL BE WRONG FOR THE WOMAN TO INSIST THAT HER OPINION IS WHAT THE MAN SHOULD USE AT THAT POINT IN TIME. Let the man be wrong for a while. With time, he might begin to have a change of heart. There are more subtle ways to make people do what you desire. Such ways require alot of patience and calmness. There's a way you can worry him into submission. Women could also consistently occasionaly remind men of their bidding till we begin to see things your way. Regretable, agressive women adopt the in-your-face approach that eventually spoils everything.

bettermike: 2) Will it be reasonable for a man to adopt a woman's opinion when he is wrong? Well, Yes. A man can adopt his woman's opinion where better. However, IT WILL BE WRONG FOR THE WOMAN TO INSIST THAT HER OPINION IS WHAT THE MAN SHOULD USE AT THAT POINT IN TIME. Let the man be wrong for a while. With time, he might begin to have a change of heart. There are more subtle ways to make people do what you desire. Such ways require alot of patience and calmness. There's a way you can worry him into submission. Women could also consistently occasionaly remind men of their bidding till we begin to see things your way. Regretable, agressive women adopt the in-your-face approach that eventually spoils everything.

This is temperament issue, this has nothing to do with gender.

arrrgh!, I missed the party and I so love this kinda thread

Anyways, seems people like to generalise and that causes a lot of confusion.
Ladies have different personalities they are born with and if you want all of them to have a high degree of humility -then you're on a long thing- cuz ladies like safari have a "natural fire" in their belly and trying to change her into a model meek girl is equivilent to changing her very essense which is almost impossible and definately not the right thing to do.

You might say our "fore-mothers" used to be generally meek and that would be some-what correct though I do not have empirical proof, but that was as a result of social training from when they were young and thus they could better change their "default settings/personalities"...this is next to impossible in our current day and age and so is not a viable option.

Also, there are extremists in any ideology so people should quit using the bad eggs to cast a shadow upon the whole group...the fact that we have nigerian males that wanna "lord" it over the females and generally view females as an inferior specie doesn't mean that most of us are like that (safari, that your 80% estimate get k-leg o )
Also, on the feminist side..we have some who want to wipe out the male existence and some guys attribute that to the whole ideology itself which shouldn't be.

Now unto the koko of the matter, humility should be found more in females (also has to be in the males...) just as decisiveness should be found more in males. This I think is the major input from the OP that people still can't comprehend, it doesn't mean it has to be in every issue where these traits have to show forth but in the major areas of family life.

I feel a man that puts his foot down in every issue no matter how trivial would soon lose respect from his wife....same way, a meek lady with hardly any input to a man would soon become nothing other than a glorified housewife.


Last bullet:
I want a lady that would not only fight for me but also with me so I can get better...but still accord me my respect as leader and protector if I'm playing my role's responsibilities.

*double post*

bisiopinion:


This is temperament issue, this has nothing to do with gender.

Hahahahahahaha, feminists have anger management problems... They feel the men owe them something and they are determined to get it at all cost... They are declaring war on men... Lolzzz

koyes: You just said real men don't dominate. Why do you then see as a positive term?or are fake men allowed to dominate?

hmm...interesting. According to webstar dictionary, to dominate means to have control or power over something or someone. Now, i dint say real men dont dominate; i said real men dont dominate for dominating sakes. I also said you need not view domination negatively. Now if i re-phrase my statement, i mean real men dont control for controlling sakes. E.g. A real man knows he can control his wife but he does it with maturity. He doesnt abuse it. He knows when to assert his authority and when to adopt his wife's opinion. He doesnt stick to a decision because he can but because he feels its the proper thing to do for him and his family. Gerrit now?

njokusboy:

Hahahahahahaha, feminists have anger management problems... They feel the men owe them something and they are determined to get it by force... They are declaring war on men... Lolzzz

What on earth are you talking about? I hope you are not referring to me as a feminist because I am not. I am not declaring war on anybody.

Please come correct. Nothing you said made sense.

PocketEconomist: i agree with some of your points... But a wife still needs to submit to ber husband. I think the problem is the percieved dèfinition of submission. Submission is not being his foot mat, submission is different from subservience. Submission is not becoming a punching bag, or a house maid, or not airing your opinions on family matters. Submission is simply recognising the husband as the HEAD of the family, respecting his decisions on family matters. Every institution has a head, be it country, court, kingdom, religious organisation, school and so on. The family is an institution, and it has a head. The husband. This is where feminists got it wrong.

i still dont agree that a man should be seen as the head based on the simple fact that when a leader can no longer perform his or her functions, they need to step down. granted i shouldnt generalise but its clear when you look at the society today. women are trying to find their place in a man's world. should we really allow you make all the major decisions? decisions we should be making together? im using logic here, not religion or culture or any other precedents passed down from generations. we dont need a head, we need a partner and submit to each other.

njokusboy:

I gave you both sides, it was left for you to decide...
If christian submissiveness isnt what is written in the bible, then na only u sabi dat one...

I think you really need to read my posts and not see what you want tto see

Submission in Christianity is different from submission culturally.

Doesn't change anything. A girl like sarafigirl got her own matching stud out there and when she finds him she'd be attracted to him... This makes feminism useless cuz no matter the category of woman there is always a counter man... And she will be humble to him.

Woman is still woman and man is man. One leads and the other follows.

y-fo:
arrrgh!, I missed the party and I so love this kinda thread

Anyways, seems people like to generalise and that causes a lot of confusion.
Ladies have different personalities they are born with and if you want all of them to have a high degree of humility -then you're on a long thing- cuz ladies like safari have a "natural fire" in their belly and trying to change her into a model meek girl is equivilent to changing her very essense which is almost impossible and definately not the right thing to do.

You might say our "fore-mothers" used to be generally meek and that would be some-what correct though I do not have empirical proof, but that was as a result of social training from when they were young and thus they could better change their "default settings/personalities"...this is next to impossible in our current day and age and so is not a viable option.

Also, there are extremists in any ideology so people should quit using the bad eggs to cast a shadow upon the whole group...the fact that we have nigerian males that wanna "lord" it over the females and generally view females as an inferior specie doesn't mean that most of us are like that (safari, that your 80% estimate get k-leg o )
Also, on the feminist side..we have some who want to wipe out the male existence and some guys attribute that to the whole ideology itself which shouldn't be.

Now unto the koko of the matter, humility should be found more in females (also has to be in the males...) just as decisiveness should be found more in males. This I think is the major input from the OP that people still can't comprehend, it doesn't mean it has to be in every issue where these traits have to show forth but in the major areas of family life.

I feel a man that puts his foot down in every issue no matter how trivial would soon lose respect from his wife....same way, a meek lady with hardly any input to a man would soon become nothing other than a glorified housewife.


Last bullet:
I want a lady that would not only fight for me but also with me so I can get better...but still accord me my respect as leader and protector if I'm playing my role's responsibilities.

bisiopinion:

What on earth are you talking about? I hope you are not referring to me as a feminist because I am not. I am not declaring war on anybody.

Please come correct. Nothing you said made sense.

Lolzz, I didn't say you are a feminist.... But you said the case that was stated by the other dude was a temper problem and I was trying to point out that feminists do have temper problems...
Safari for instance, she is very angry, whoever she marries must bend to her will or bust... She would just divorce him without considering the children or worse still, roast his balls...
I know of one sociology feminist lecturer lyk dat, she goes around campus spreading her epistle of hate, telling young girls to stand up and fight for their right, that they should ensure their future husband lounges in the kitchen, she is currently divorced, she gave my friend a D7 because he disagreed with her in class.. You see, they do have anger problems..

njokusboy:

You are very wrong sir, the ladies have a problem with "submissiveness" in the cultural sense... They feel it was a tool invented by men to oppress them....
I was merely expanding, trying to let them know that even the bible admonishes submission on the part of the ladies... One lady wrongly asserted that submission was equivalent to slavery.. Nd I needed to bring in the bible to correct her, if she still insists that submission was chauvinistic, she could maybe take her grouse to God, because she is indirectly saying God is a slavemaster or a chauvinist... Shey u grab?

You seem to alwaysa see what you want to see

Cultural submission was/is a tool for men to oppress women while christian submission is not.

Submission as referred to in the Bible is not chauvinistic

Are we clear now?

bukatyne:

I think you really need to read my posts and not see what you want tto see

Submission in Christianity is different from submission culturally.

Lolzz, I don't need to read ur post again, I don't see anything there my dear friend.... I read the bible and I understand it... Its not rocket science, you don't need some prophet to interpret it.. Its written in English language... Let's just agree to disagree...

Only feminists have anger issues?

Lol!

njokusboy:

Lolzz, I didn't say you are a feminist.... But you said the case that was stated by the other dude was a temper problem and I was trying to point out that feminists do have temper problems...
Safari for instance, she is very angry, whoever she marries must bend to her will or bust... She would just divorce him without considering the children or worse still, roast his balls...
I know of one sociology feminist lecturer lyk dat, she goes around campus spreading her epistle of hate, telling young girls to stand up and fight for their right, that they should ensure their future husband lounges in the kitchen, she is currently divorced, she gave my friend a D7 because he disagreed with her in class.. You see, they do have anger problems..

PocketEconomist: That's good to know. There are still sensible women arround. I gotta say, i respect women like you

you know what. i think people decide the kind of relationship they want to have and she is very lucky her husband loves her enough to make the right decisions that best suits her needs. i respect the fact that women should choose the kind of relationship they want to have.

however when you say sensible, does that mean others are stupid for not living by the same philisophy? cos when i was growing up, the word sensible woman was always used in the most horrible situations.

njokusboy:

Lolzz, I didn't say you are a feminist.... But you said the case that was stated by the other dude was a temper problem and I was trying to point out that feminists do have temper problems...
Safari for instance, she is very angry, whoever she marries must bend to her will or bust... She would just divorce him without considering the children or worse still, roast his balls...
I know of one sociology feminist lecturer lyk dat, she goes around campus spreading her epistle of hate, telling young girls to stand up and fight for their right, that they should ensure their future husband lounges in the kitchen, she is currently divorced, she gave my friend a D7 because he disagreed with her in class.. You see, they do have anger problems..

I meant temperament i.e. melancholic, phlegmatic, sanguine, etc...I wasn't referring to the author of the post but rather the scenario he wrote about.

feminists are people, both men and women might I add, who seek for better equality between the genders. You cannot generalise and say all feminists are angry. However, a feminists goes about spreading that message is based on their own experiences, ideology, etc...

Plus there are different strands of feminism and I refuse to believe that feminists hate men. Both men and women can co-exist, balance is required in this world.

Your lecturer is another person, who has a personality, it doesn't necessarily have to be a reflection of her views. Plus your friend might have just have handed in poorly written assignment, it might not have been personal.

Based on your response, I suggest you take some time and research feminism.

bukatyne:

You seem to alwaysa see what you want to see

Cultural submission was/is a tool for men to oppress women while christian submission is not.

Submission as referred to in the Bible is not chauvinistic

Are we clear now?

No we are not... Cultural submission was only used to oppress women by extremists, I am not speaking for extremists, I am against oppression..
But at the end, for a neutral minded man lyk me, submission is submission.. To me it is respect and humility... If you still think it is chauvinistic, then you can tell God to delete it from the bible...

@koyes and bukatyne, ladies, why are you wasting such rare intelligence on Neanderthals like warrior and crew? Please do yourselves a lot of good and ignore them, let them be the problems of whichever unfortunate women who answer their last names

I repeat, there are over 2 billion men on earth, you will find one who loves you flaws and all

Strong women like Michelle Obama, Beyonce, Nse-Ikpe Tim and Stephanie Okereke have found men that support them for who they are and encourage them to do more, why won't you find yours?