[size=8pt][size=8pt][size=8pt][size=8pt][size=8pt]WHY DUMP HIM WHEN YOU CAN ACTUALLY HELP HIM OUT. WHY BUY A CAR WHEN YOU CAN USE SUCH MONEY TO SET HIM UP, OR BETTER , SET UP A BUSINESS AND TELL HIM TO HELP MANAGE IT(MEANWHILE IT IS HIS). SOMETIMES, ECONOMIC REASONS COULD MAKE YOUR LOVE FOR YOUR PARTNER TO DWINDLE (BUT THAT'S IS WHEN YOU LOVE WITH YOUR HEAD)

EXCUSE ME, MOST OF THE BIG BOYS YOU SEE TODAY ARE BEING TOTALLY CARRIED BY THEIR PARTNERS, WHILE THEY SEARCH FOR JOB (AND SEARCHING MAY TAKE 4 YEARS).

HE COULD BE YOUR KING, LOVE HIM, CHERISH HIM AND HELP HIM.


I WISH YOU BEST OF LUCK  [/size][/size][/size][/size][/size]

My dear, I think the best thing is not dropping him but letting understand that you know his tricks. Moreover, he doesn’t like you but your money and when he pick a good job he MUST abandon you.

So what if your boyfriend relies on you for financial support? What a man can do, a woman can do better. Viva les madmoiselles. Ces't Fou!

What's with the loooong replies?

The story that touching to warrant such lengthy epistles?

my take on the issue is simple, and nt trying to be insentitive or cos i needed to just contribute, but the thing is that why nt call off ur own bluff and do what is rite. You are too young to live like dis, u need a man and nt a junior brother, somebody who can take care u, and nt in bed bed alone.

CY_clone:

What's with the loooong replies?

The story that touching to warrant such lengthy epistles?

What story? Poster's only looking for an excuse to dump him. "Oh it's Nairaland that made me do it, don't blame me!"

Na we choose am for you

see baby , just forget that guy and hook me up and lets run things together. 2348033477790

@poster
money ain't everything.If he trully gives you a good Bleep why wuld you want to gilt him huh?

a 31yrs old depending on a 24yrs old is very worrying
please dump his ass and move on.


probability of him cheating on u is somewhat high (again an assumption based on the fact that he probably likes you for the monetary things you provide) and if it does happen you Will probably curse the whole generation of men in this world and in turn find it hard for your heart to heal.


I concur!

you are allowed to spend on a man for just three reasons
if he agrees to do d dishes wash the clothes,cook the food and have the babies.
if he just lost his job and he was quite generouus wen he had one.
if he is dying of a terminal illness and u are sure to gain alot from his life insurance policy.
if any of these does not apply, pls ditch him
4get the good sex, there are dildos in all sizes and colors.
also there are guys out there who will give good ex and still spend on u.why waste ur time just starring at ur cake wen u can eat it and have it?

Hi Joichi,

I've been there before and understand a bit of what you're talking about(we don't have the same temperaments, so we may not react in the same way). In my own case, I wasn't working until about 3 yrs into the relationship cos Iwas in school. All I kept hearing was "I can't get the job now, since I'm planning on travelling , it means I'll have to resign". Even though I used to be pissed and I wasn't stupid, I didn't do anything about it, first I didn't want people to condemn me and secondly, I felt he would finally come to see things my way.

After we broke up when I finally found out he was cheating on me because according to him, the new girl's father was 'rich'.
Did he travel? NO! Did he get a steady Job? NO! But, alas, he got someone who could condone his excesses.

I'm not saying yours will go that way but if you are show he can't stoop low to do some kind of jobs to get a little something. Pleeeease end it now before you are sorry.

I am better off now and happy with whom I have now, even when I assist, I'm happy doing it.

Hey! be smart. Get out of that relationship fast. Good sex my ass! there lots of good guys out there
the problem is that you are not looking. If the guy makes it tomorrow believe me you wont feel the difference
.please don't create a Frankenstein. Be bold and free yourself.
Best of luck.

@joichi,
Any reletionship thAt has it's foundation on good sex will never prosper.Inotherwords,dont marry someone just because he/she is good in bed.IF YOU CAN'T PICK OUT OTHER GOOD CHARACTERS IN HIM APART FROM SEX,JUST FIND YOUR WAY.

The guy to me is more of a gigolo than a potential husband . DROP HIS ASS!!!

joichi, your case in not all  that perculier, but as a realistic guy, I will give you a foundamental formular to bail yourself out. You happen to have the sort of guys we call dependants, many of them are so good on bed and slaime with there tongue, many of them enjoy sugar mommies, because at their age there something childish about them. the truth of it all is this guy dont love, and behind your back, with his friend, his is bad mouthing you.
ok you bring the money, what can you hold apart from sex that he brings to the relationship, nothing even with the money you give him he cant buy you coke. that guy is a receiver and investigate he may have homosexual tendency,
do you want to miss this guys? its a strategy that yeilds result.
1. begin to train yourself mentally to be hard, to withstand his stories.
2. learn to say no to his demands with a straight face, make your no be no and nothing else.
3. dont tell him what you use your money for, by the way he is no husband of yours.
4. he ask for money tell him "I dont have any money" then in your withdrawals, take just what is enough for you.
5. when he goes into talk, just say " my responsibilities are increasing, tell him stories of your spending on your family, yourself, your friends, church etc
6. make sure your stories have more weight than his.
7. maintain that his problems and responsibility are his and yours are yours. he should face his responsilities and not pass them on to you.
8. When he least expect, give him something from your heart. and tell him when he ask tha you can only give when you have it.
9. make it a habit to ask him for money before he ask you, this is to make him know that he should be giving you too.

this may be hard but give it a try.

yes, enjoy the sex @ easybaby.
wrong advice. do you know the science of sex?

if your heart is to drop him, them set up a strategy that will not hot you or him.
2nd, that will make him wake up for his future.

I also have my story. My girl when I was going for her at first, gave the impression she working towards entering school. somehow its like the zeal for school was going down, ok get a work, trouble. then I know its dificult to drop her, so I put up a strategy, and before you say jack, she applied for a job, got the job, she is applying for evening degree class,

[b]@ poster

you will make up your mind the day you will catch him gisting with his friends
dont be suprised when you hear comments like " MY CENTRAL BANK"

My dear , have you forgotten the saiyng that he who has the money rules the world
do whatever you like,

if you re comfortable with his sex, use him jeje for that purpose
if you re comfortable with his looks parade him all over town without spending a dime
''once you find someone else or u re tired of seeing his face , DUMP his sorry ass.


@ > 30 he has not trimmed the rough edges of his personality,
dont fail to remind him that his mates whether by hook or crook are poised to make it big

How did u even make yourself available in the first place?
He is not only poor but daft as well, some sensible chaps will alwayz know when enough is enough or use some gimmicks to make you spend without feeling it.

The probability of his making it big with this attitude is less than 1 so, no regretts.
if you continue keeping him, i assure you that the day the big money will come, he wont even remember you.

''HE AINT SMART TO TAKE FROM YOU AND YOU THINK HE IS GONNA BE SMART ENOUGH TO MAKE IT BIG''
good wish from skye bank

tell him that you have defined your social circle and he is not in the picture, if he wants to hang around ''NIKE'' u enjoy his sex if he is fed up, he lives 4 some1 else who is willing to manage a plebian.

POOR AND EXPENSIVE ,WHAT A GUY.[/b]

ok,i've really enjoyed this thread cos of diverse opinions on this issue,@poster,this is ma take on it, u dont have to feel bad cos ur nice,ok,some of us cant just help it!!but like som1 ritly said here,in life,u have to tink of urself first!!!!!at times its hard but u have to!!!they say its unfair to just judge a one sided story,but i can say this, trust me,sex is not a reasonable reason to hang in a frustrating relationship, gud for u,its not serious enuf for ur folks to know about!!!in fairness to the guy,he may have his own angle to the story but hey,he didnt come to this honorable court!i tink uv not bin mixing up with friends dat much cos if u have,trust me u would have by chance bin hooked up to some guy whom u will not only like,but also be gud in bed, u wont know how small ur farm is if u havent bin to anoda!!!!dat leach(ur words) u call a boyfriend shld be evicted from ur life.but weigh it very well!!!!!!!!try and remove sex out of ur relationship wit him, and u still feel attached,then hang in there,risk ur future and hope against hope,and maybe,just maybe,there is  honey in the bee hive!!after all the sting!!!but a gud relationship hardly have this sort of issue, so i say to u, u can get a beta offer but u have to make a move!!!wat u dont deal wit will deal wit u, all da best!!

husu:

@joichi,
Any reletionship thAt has it's foundation on good sex will never prosper.Inotherwords,don't marry someone just because he/she is good in bed.IF YOU CAN'T PICK OUT OTHER GOOD CHARACTERS IN HIM APART FROM SEX,JUST FIND YOUR WAY.

@ poster,the above quote from a male summarizes it all.
There's more to a relationship than what's in between people's legs

HEAR THE ADVICERS TALKING.


97 % OF THE LADIES GOES THUS,

DUMP HIM
SHOOT HIM.
HE IS OF NO GOOD.
TELL HIM TO REFUND YOU
HE IS AN ASS.
FIND ANOTHER GUY (LIKE THE RICH GUYS ARE EVERYWHERE)
STOP GIVING HIM MONEY.

damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!

WHAT IF THIS GIRL IS VERY VERY UGLY THAT THE GUY IS EVEN FAVOURING HER?
DOES HER EMPLOYMENT CHANGE THAT?
OR DOES HIS UNEMPLOYMENT CHANGE THAT?

TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THAT THIS GIRL KNOWS WHAT SHE IS DOING.
SHE JUST CAME HERE TO CRY FOUL BECAUSE SHE IS STINGY.

I DONT REALLY CARE IF YOUR GUY IS EMPLOYED OR NOT.
SINCE YOU ARE GENIUS AT FINDING WORKS (JUDGING BY HOW EASILY YOU FOUND YOURS)
WHY DONT YOU FIND WORK FOR HIM BECAUSE I DIDNT HEAR YOU COMPLAIN THAT HE REFUSED TO WORK AT ALL.
YOU JUST MADE EVERYTHING LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE BEEN TRAINING HIM RIGHT FROM PRIMARY SCHOOL, RUBISH.

I HAVE MONEY, PLENTY OF IT , COME FOR ME.

now dat a serious one there!!!!!@poster,a strong point there u know!!!!dats y it difficult to be a one sided judge!!but i'ld like to read the poster's response here!!nice1 sam milla

Dear in my own view, this is not the right time to dump the guy. If you do now that he doesnt have a job, you wouldnt know his true identity and he will forever tell anybody who cares to listen even in the future that you were the person he would have married but you dumped him simply because he doesnt have a job.

My advise is that you should stop spending a dime on him, not even a kobo so that you can help him to be responsible and stand on his feet. You should have things you use your money for and let him know that you have a project or something you are working on. If you stop giving him money, and he truly loves you, he would still stay with you and put more efforts in his search for job without taking any offence. but if he is with you based on the finacial help you render and would fly away at the sight of another money miss road, his attitude will change and it will be clear to you that he doesnt really love you nor would spend a dime on you when he eventually gets a job. Infact this would be a good test of his position with you.

So, it is very important that you start praying to God to bless him with a job now so that you can know his real person on time before he wastes your preciouse time.

Remember, assist him to be responsible by not giving him a fadin anymore!

@ Poster,
Something similar has happened 2 me, in my own case he got a job but he keeps having problems wiv his colleagues in the office which always leads to his being sacked or he leaves his job , am not saying i was perfect in the relationship then BUT he wasnt just ready 2 do wat he was suppose 2 do and he was also a cheat.

For the fact that u dont love him why not just end the relationship and move ahead although there is nothing bad in helping ur partner BUT WHEN HE IS JUST TOO LAZY TO DO ANYTHING USEFUL WIV HIS LIFE ABEG!!! LEAVE AM JO

The so called boyfriend is really a disgrace to manhood,cos if you the girlfiend continues like this,you will worship him and his family for the rest of your life,and not only that ,you will turn to be their mumu,and if you decides to change much later,it will have become too late for you.

A word is enough for the wise o,dont say because you are enjoying sex you will continue,really its a bitter truth and its only if you are ready to listen .

Have a wonderful evening.

olajadfad:

The so called boyfriend is really a disgrace to manhood,because if you the girlfiend continues like this,you will worship him and his family for the rest of your life,and not only that ,you will turn to be their mumu,and if you decides to change much later,it will have become too late for you.

A word is enough for the wise o,don't say because you are enjoying sex you will continue,really its a bitter truth and its only if you are ready to listen .

Have a wonderful evening.

ok, she has taken your advice. you can go to bed now.

hi girl, i think u should seriousely consider ur options, all too easy to think a guy is lazy, a gold digger, and a cheat when u have a good job. mine is a case in point: used to be in luv with dis lady who works in d bank,tot i was lazy,called me names,tot i wasnt ambitious like u do him.Never asked money from her, never reject either cos i was always broke. i forgive her ignorance. eventually left me. i left Lagos, got a good job, met her later and  cud see regrets written all over her(seeing the made-in-heaven-handsome-dude on an impeccable English suit)
We dint know the circumstances exactly. dint let anyone deceived you, u alone can make this decision and bear the consequences,. explore all ur options, ask urself: WHAT IS THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN;IF U CAN GRAPPLE WITH IT,then go ahead and dump him

Not making a case for an irresponsible worthless fool  who ask 4money indiscriminately. just be objective, no sentiments. Sex should not be the basis. One day you will have enough of it(from him),cos sex is sweatest if its with the person you have lots of love and respects for, anything outside that is whoring.

Its hard to get a job in n9ja,may not be his fault or laziness. I THINK EVERY NIJA GUY IS AMBITIOUS

GOOD LUCK, my opinion anyway

thank u denzel

i m now seeing reasonable posts.
not stupid ones

1st and foremost, someone shuld tell that gamine or watever she calls herself to shut the hole in her face if she doesnt av anything reasonable to contribute.
This is the more reason why my interest in nairaland is gradually fading, because of people like her( i doubt if she's up to 14 years of age) . HABA!!!
@POSTER
Try and and follow some of the useful advice uve been given by some very reasonable and gifted people on this forum, and ignore people like gamine. That guy(your boyfrend) is a disgrace to manhood,
if u need any company, feel free 2 mail me or better still u can add me up on Y! and lets talk.
u can get my yahoo ID on my profile, am always less busy in the office frm 3pm upwards.

girl i no 2 believe this story say ur boyfriend dey relies on ur financial needs, well if 2 say na true u no what 2 do or u want make u tell u what 2 do at ur age, i beg i don no what 2 say 4 u or u live ur guy and look 4 another guy or call dis mobile 08059306175 i will tell u what 2 do

Mr Georgee

Who are you?

Got a problem, take it up with me eh.

Maybe i ignored Your Yahoo Request

e no reach to enter pesin like this na.

Send me the Request again, i will accept this time