lynpetra:

The role of a father remains different from a mother.[b]Naturally,kids knows that daddy is the one that works to put food on the table.[/b]That is why a situation where a woman is the bread winner is seen as totally abnormal and far away from the norms.No matter what,a hardworking father will definitely have little time for his kids excerpt he is jobless.He spends little time and thus dependent on the wife to give more info concerning any problems he is not aware of.A situation where the wife is also ambitious like him will definitely place him in situation where he might not get vital info about his children's welfare and challenges.The role of the African woman/mother should never be sacrificed at the alter of ambition.There should be a reasonable limit to achieving her ambitions especially when it clearly affects her family. I know women wants to play vital roles in the society, heck this is the 21st,but a woman who succeeds as career woman and yet her family is in shambles is still considered a failure!

carefreewannabe:

Explain the bold. What is natural about it?

lynpetra:


I should start explaining the roles of a man in our Biblical,social and traditional societies
Maybe you should ask me what is natural about a woman giving birth and a man running around,or even borrowing to pay the medical bills.

remsonik: I would ve a hard time settling with such a man cos I and my siblings are raised to be very ambitious and there were no barriers or limitations cos I am a girl. My dad was doing his private business while my mum was in the civil service. My mom rose to the top and she retired and my dad kept pushing her to achieve more,get a doctorate degree and rise to the pinnacle of her career.
If the man is insecured that's when he starts feeling his wife is over ambitious. A woman doesn't need to abandon or limit her dreams cos of a man. If she indeed is lazy even limiting her dreams won't make the home any better.
We didn't ve maids while growing up but my mom was a homemaker and my dad assisted her too.
My parents have been married for close to 40 years.

sholasholala: Your friend's point makes sense.
Personally, I have dreams and whenever I think of my plans for myself (career wise), I try to fit my husband and kids in and I finally realized that I can't fully engage in what I want to do if I want to always be there for my kids.
I know that I have to compromise at some point for the sake of my family (especially my kids). But that doesn't mean I will totally abandon my dream and become a full time house wife. No. My career will take a slow pace till my kids grow to a certain age.

carefreewannabe:

Do you think everyone is a Christian?

Do you think tradition and religion are the same as nature?

lynpetra:


It goes beyond being a Christian or Muslim my dear.As a woman can you lift a sack if rice,i am not saying women don't do that but then,there is some firm of biological alteration afterwards.A woman cannot be like a man,even if it's acceptable,some disadvantages might not go unnoticed.

remsonik: I would ve a hard time settling with such a man cos I and my siblings are raised to be very ambitious and there were no barriers or limitations cos I am a girl. My dad was doing his private business while my mum was in the civil service. My mom rose to the top and she retired and my dad kept pushing her to achieve more,get a doctorate degree and rise to the pinnacle of her career.
If the man is insecured that's when he starts feeling his wife is over ambitious. A woman doesn't need to abandon or limit her dreams cos of a man. If she indeed is lazy even limiting her dreams won't make the home any better.
We didn't ve maids while growing up but my mom was a homemaker and my dad assisted her too.
My parents have been married for close to 40 years.

carefreewannabe:

Stop diverting the attention from the question by talking about sacks of rice.

What is natural about kids knowing the father is putting the food on the table? Answer my question.

Then we will continue with what you call "abnormal".

carefreewannabe:

Stop diverting the attention from the question by talking about sacks of rice.

What is natural about kids knowing the father is putting the food on the table? Answer my question.

Then we will continue with what you call "abnormal".

Matthewbriggs: I had a chat ... With a friend and he was like he would not go for a woman as ambitious as him.

Just like me he has very crazy ambitions ... We are both committed to seeing our daring dreams come to pass.

He reason is that he wouldn't like a situation where him and his spouse are so preoccupied with their DARING goals at the detriment of the family.

Eg. He goes on a business trip to go seal a deal and his wife jets off to Paris to go launch her new line ... With both of then never having time for the kids or each other due to their demanding careers as they try to build their dreams.

He says he is not expecting her to be a house wife but more like she would have a lesser demanding career or job than his.

He was like their is need for balance. With one of the couple having a lesser dream or demanding career.

I am like if you have someone as ambitious as you ... You both stand the chance of sharpening each other and assisting each other achieve their dreams, I was like it would be very wrong of you to inhibit your spouses goals because you want her to have time for the family.

He was like he would not be inhibiting her ambition if she doesn't have a big ambition in the first place.

So now one of his criteria is a woman with little or no ambition but she would be very smart and intelligent and working class.

I am like you can't be smart without having an ambition. He was like her ambition would not be too big or demanding of her time.

As for me I am turned on by women with really bold ambitions. The only clause is do not forget I exist as you go on to pursue that dream.

What's your take people. Is it ideal to go for someone with a lower ambition than you. Male or female

#MathewBriggs

lynpetra:

You are the one swaying my points to prove your unhealthy feminism here.I can't be swayed to answer questions to promote some twisted minds about how feminism must look like.A situation where a woman is left to cater for her children by choice while the husband sits and do nothing should be termed as whatBravery or stupidity?A man's role is to go out and work,to take care of his home.A woman might take up challenging roles,no doubt,but she has more grounds to do that if she isn't married with kids.

spicykev: one man's food is indeed another man's poison. what if he marries her and along the line God opens her eyes and she becomes more ambitious than him, hope he won't send her packing, lol.so he should continue praying that God don't allow my future partner to be more ambitious than me..........and that is what I call wall of limitation. I.am a career woman and hope 2 settle with some1 that loves and appreciate career women, I love a man with mind blowing ambitions too, a man should be ahead .

!

elected: Women sound really confident when they are young and weak when they are getting older. It would be better to preach what you truly believe from your heart and of course, do like you saw your mother succeed in her marriage than trying to follow media and fake social life.doing this to yourself, will end up driving a lot of good prospective life time husband. Do yourselves good and be real some times. Why Hmmm, don't be deceived! A lot say something here and do something else in their privacy. Lol. Ladies are tender and I respect that.

carefreewannabe:

Leave feminism out of it.

I am not "swaying" your points but asking you to EXPLAIN them, which you are running from.

If you cannot explain the "natural" part, explain what is "abnormal" about a female breaadwinner.

BizBloke:
Is it ideal? Really, it's a subjective thing. From my perspective, going for one with lower ambitions is somewhat.
If it boils down to raising children, there's family planning and giving birth could be set for an appropriate time, say, 2-3 years after marriage, hence giving both parties ample time to get to a stage in their careers when they can multi-task effectively.
Then again, it depends on the angle of ambition: is my spouse's ambition hinged on a corporate career structure or entrepreneurial career structure (h/she is the founder)? If both spouses ambitions are hinged on different career structures, a balance can be struck quite easily.
What else? Making time for each other; this should be sorted out internally.

lynpetra:

I choose the word abnormal in cases where where there is a father in the house doing nothing!

remsonik: I would ve a hard time settling with such a man cos I and my siblings are raised to be very ambitious and there were no barriers or limitations cos I am a girl. My dad was doing his private business while my mum was in the civil service. My mom rose to the top and she retired and my dad kept pushing her to achieve more,get a doctorate degree and rise to the pinnacle of her career.
If the man is insecured that's when he starts feeling his wife is over ambitious. A woman doesn't need to abandon or limit her dreams cos of a man. If she indeed is lazy even limiting her dreams won't make the home any better.
We didn't ve maids while growing up but my mom was a homemaker and my dad assisted her too.
My parents have been married for close to 40 years.

carefreewannabe:

This sounds very different from "that is why a situation where a woman is the bread winner is seen as totally abnormal".

Good I asked for clarification.

lynpetra:

My bad...

kaboninc: 50 trillion likes!!! My kind of woman. Success has a unique definition for everybody. Find yours and don't copy others.

singlefade25: God bless you. I ve an aunt who was a top executive bt she is retired now and her husband is a lecturer. They worked out things for themselves. They r living very big now. An insecure man believes his wife is too ambitious. In Nigeria today, both parents have to work hard for their children to ball hard. I ve seen businesswomen who don't ve time for their home and children.

lynpetra: I am not advocating against Married women with kids not to be overly ambitious.All I am saying is this;if she must succeed as a career woman,she must also succeed as a family woman.Else,SHE STILL STANDS A FAILURE.

voltron: my advice.. stick with someone who is more ambitious than yourself. in this country known as NIGERIA. you will need all the help you can get