naijababe: @ Sweetlemon, please now auntie! You are coming down like a ton of bricks on the young 'uns

snowpe: I have been married for 4years now,recently my wife listened to a preaching on the issue of jewelries,trousers and makeup.suddenly she changed and since then she have been making her self unattractive in the name of church activities.sincerely she is making me to loose interest on her,I have spoken to her about it and she refuses to change.what should I do?l am seriously trying not to cheat on her.please I need advice on what to do to save this marriage.
please moderator move this to front page for advice

[size=13pt]If you love her, you love her regardless. Just tell her what her spirituality is doing to you, tell her what you are telling us on Nairaland and i know she would readjust. Wont hurt if you search some bible scriptures on why a woman should make her husband happy, or maybe a book from a pastor she respects, that should do the trick, overly religious christian's are really fickle minded, and do it fast before her pastor starts to run your home from outside, and eventually own ur wife (uno wat i mean ) cheers.... [/size]

Sweetlemon:

Lol!

Some people are just something else!

snowpe: I have been married for 4years now,recently my wife listened to a preaching on the issue of jewelries,trousers and makeup.suddenly she changed and since then she have been making her self unattractive in the name of church activities.sincerely she is making me to loose interest on her,I have spoken to her about it and she refuses to change.what should I do?l am seriously trying not to cheat on her.please I need advice on what to do to save this marriage.
please moderator move this to front page for advice

zeb04: Cheating is out of it but how do you take major decisions like these without invloving your patner, Its just wrong.

ammyluv2002: I understand your point....I sugguest you find a way to still love her like that cause if that's the way she has chosen to worship her God, it won't be fair for you to start cheating on her. I know guys have areas that gets them attracted to ladies but you don't really have a choice here rather you should support her and makke her feel loved.

Btw, thatz why is always good to fall in love with the someone from the inside and not because of the physical apperance cause you may get married to a queen today and by tomorrow her beauty is gone. We should be able to still love those we claim we love even if the person turns out to be a skeleton tomorrow, just take a clue from a mother's love to her child or even God's love to His children. Love should be unconditional. @OP, pls don't get me wrong o...I'm not making reference to you, just saying generally

emmyskies:
Your wife's on track. Don't ever cheat on her

chrisbaba1:


[size=13pt]Just admit you are simply looking for an excuse to cheat on her. Im not married yet, but my girlfriend is very spiritual and i am not, But i love that girl to bits... So dude, i just aint buying your excuse. If you love her, you love her. Just tell her what her spirituality is doing to you, tell her what you are telling us on Nairaland and i know she would readjust. Wont hurt if you search some bible scriptures on why a woman should make her husband happy, maybe from a pastor she respects.... Act and stop giving lame excuses on here[/size]

ocelot2006: Guys, I'm pretty sure he's not telling his wife to dress like a video vixen or street gal. Then again, if she did dress like that for her hubby (AT HOME OH), how is it anyone's business? It spices their love, and sex, lives. All he wants is for her to look pretty for him, that's all. And neither is he saying that she should quit her faith.

What most of you don't realise is that the way a partner takes care of himself or herself affects the mood or the interest of the other. And I say that from experience as a married man. But I'm pretty sure most of you who are busy dishing out criticisms are yet to tie the knot, thus don't have a freaking clue. But hey...

Bros, marriage is about give and take. Don't cheat on her, and still love her. But she's got to look good for you.

Blockus:


Who in her right mind would marry me?

I am still sowing my wild oaths.

naijababe:

Standing ovation! You nailed but I am not sure if i were in OP's shoes I'd stay in the marriage and yes I know I'd be cursed for leaving my spouse because they met Jayzuss!!! Why should one human being give another complete autonomy to make them miserable. I'm sorry I'd rather be lonely than miserable.

OP, God's speed in your new journey.

chrisbaba1:

She is off track.

snowpe: l appreciate all the advice given,it makes me strong and opens my eyes more to understand something s which I didn't.by God's grace I will never cheat on her.

snowpe: I have been married for 4years now,recently my wife listened to a preaching on the issue of jewelries,trousers and makeup.suddenly she changed and since then she have been making her self unattractive in the name of church activities.sincerely she is making me to loose interest on her,I have spoken to her about it and she refuses to change.what should I do?l am seriously trying not to cheat on her.please I need advice on what to do to save this marriage.
please moderator move this to front page for advice

emmyskies:

Shay na this life we dey live? Everyone entitled to his/her opinion and ways. But someday, the sheep will be seperated from the goat. Those that truely seek the Lord and His kingdom will have it

Bibol: Why do I have a feeling this issue is beginning to affect the OP's sex life? People saying here that did he marry her for her looks obviously don't know how important neatness is in marriage.
Those oversized dresses sometimes ooze offensive odour and that can turn off any man no matter how spiritual the man is. She can still look very attractive for her husband without compromising her standards. A wise woman knows how to go about that. Let her shave, use deodorant if necessary, keep her hair tidy every time, dress smartly even if she decides to cover up everything.

I've seen lots of Christians without makeup and jewellery that look tidy and attractive for their spouses. The God I know and serve does not support dirtiness unfortunately a lot of married women are guilty of this because they feel they have hooked the man successfully.

The description of the virtuous woman in Prov 31 does not depict an unkempt personality. Op should talk to his wife, unmarried folks may not truly understand what he is going through.

obayaya:

I don't think that's true.

The OP is going through a hard time adapting to his wife's sudden changes. And at such times, temptations abound. So far, he's been able to overcome the temptation.

He's only seeking advice on how to adapt to the changes as fast as possible and save his marriage.

The bolded is a rather harsh conclusion.

OP!!! Honestly I don't know what to tell you. I'm not married and I know very little about women and relationships. But I think you really need to remind yourself why you married your wife. The reasons you fell in love with her. I'm sure it's more than just her looks. look beyond that.

Goodluck

Blockus:


Cool!

First of all, accept my apology for my first post.

Now can you lovingly call your wife and seat her down. Then talk to her about her new found religious zeal and its effect on your marriage. Tell her that she needs to switch up otherwise you may start getting tempted by other women outside and that cos you love her, you dont want none of that.

After that, let her be. If she does not repent, then start playing away matches. #Remember: AlwaysPlaySafe.

flipflop: Sir, I'm sure you did not marry her just for beauty alone. Your wife has acted on faith, you criticizing and demanding for her to change may destroy her faith. Give her your support as her husband and friend. If you feel she looks unkempt, it just because you are still looking for that woman she used to be. You suggesting cheating on her is absolutely absurd and terribly wicked. Your wife is your wife, stop loving her for the outside "beauty" and start focusing on the inward beauty that does not change or fade. *#shrugs shoulder

obayaya:

I don't think that's true.

The OP is going through a hard time adapting to his wife's sudden changes. And at such times, temptations abound. So far, he's been able to overcome the temptation.

He's only seeking advice on how to adapt to the changes as fast as possible and save his marriage.

The bolded is a rather harsh conclusion.

OP!!! Honestly I don't know what to tell you. I'm not married and I know very little about women and relationships. But I think you really need to remind yourself why you married your wife. The reasons you fell in love with her. I'm sure it's more than just her looks. look beyond that.

Goodluck

AjanleKoko:

Hmm.
I think most women who are into religion were either that way before they got married (hence implying the man was never Number One), or the husband is messing up badly in some way.

A man has the responsibility to satisfy his wife in every way possible. Emotional satisfaction takes the first priority, over physical or material satisfaction, for women.
Don't let church/pastor fill the void which you should have.

Sweetlemon: Just look at how dem xynerise, Dygeasy, and co are giving advice like say dem know pass. See how they are condemning the op for saying he wants to cheat on her as if they'd handle things any better should their own wives suddenly develop some brainwashed sense of spirituality. Can't you sympathize with the op? I can only imagine how hard this is for him right now. I can see how hard this guy is trying not to cheat, he's being upfront honest with himself instead of living miserably in denial or just subjecting himself to the cruel fate of being married to someone who doesn't entice him anymore. So the op should start enduring his marriage now as if he's in kirikiri prison ba?

Awon oloshi advisers oshi! mtcheeeeeeeeeeew

let me tell you something most of you even married folks do not know. Sex is probably the most powerful force in marriage. Couples who enjoy good sex have much higher chances of wanting themselves for much longer and much lower chances of cheating on each other. And talking about sex, physical appearance has a lot to do with it. The op married his wife while she was still fashionable. And for those self righteous people accusing him of not loving her inside, I have news for you, That was part of her personality! It was part of the things that made her who she was. So don't give me crap about him loving only her physical beauty. FYI, I define beauty as an inner sense of peace and confidence that manifests on the outside. What you see about something attracts you to that thing before you can even want to know anything about it.

So now that op's wife no longer attracts him, what should? So when op and his wife want to make love they should start singing/quoting songs of Solomon ni? Oh puleeeez!

I hate it when people are not realistic. That is why most of our problems remain hanging for too long cos we are in denial.

OP. You need to pray. Pray hard for God to reveal the truth about fashion to her. Pray hard for God to let her see that she's hurting her marriage and that's the plain truth. Pray for God to reveal to her that she is actually sinning when she causes her husband to sin.



You see why I keep advising ladies about this?: Getting married is one thing. Preserving your marriage is a different journey entirely. Do not confuse the two of them. NEVER you ever think that all is well just because of that thing on your finger or because of some piece of paper. Ok nau.

Cheers!