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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! (40940 Views)
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Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by ayoaces: 1:35pm On Jul 17, 2014 |
I don't have a problem with the wife's change of dressing. Its the 'unkemptedness' that's the issue. Stop trying to convince her to go back to the trousers and make up. Make the best of the situation. Have a talk with her, tell her she can still be neat without all that after all cleanliness is next to godliness ((hey say). I know some churches where they don't use make up and trousers and the women still look good. Good luck 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Nobody: 2:12pm On Jul 17, 2014 |
I see people equating spirituality with looking ugly outside and beautiful inside. Even the men of God are are looking nice these days why did she decide to go south. But there may be deeper issues here, your wife maybe unhappy and depressed. Many sisters don't wear trousers or flashy clothes and they still look charming, you can even feel their inner radiance. A lot of people hide their misery under church canopy so instead of asking your wife to return to sexy clothes ask her if all is well inside her. 9 Likes |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by ichidodo: 3:57pm On Jul 17, 2014 |
.... |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Itoroetti(m): 5:11pm On Jul 17, 2014 |
xynerise: ur signature touches me bro. i think we nid to reflect on issues like dis all our days in this world |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by onegig(m): 5:50pm On Jul 17, 2014 |
Dygeasy: I tried to bend right, left and low to view the issue from different perspectives and I still see NO CASE here.Sorry but it's very obvious you have never been married or you never placed yourself in his shoes before advicing. Yes, saying he would cheat might have been immature of him to say but you can't just discard the main issue here. In an ideal relationship, both partners are constantly working to achieve a goal. They work in sync. You can't just discard his disatisfaction because this seems like a religious topic. I can't even recall anywhere in the Holy books where it was mentioned people must look UGLY and unkempt before they serve God? The wife is the one making a drastic change here and she should learn she's in a relationship with someone and not by herself alone. The opinion of the other party also counts. What about if it were to be something much more worse? Like she joining a smokers club. Shouldn't he be concerned also? He has tried to talk to her. The onion lies on her to convince her husband her new mode of dressing is the best thing for them and not taking unilateral decisions. Simple things like this are what wreck homes and sow seeds of hate and enmity amongst couples. 19 Likes |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by xynerise: 6:20pm On Jul 17, 2014 |
Itoroetti:Seriously |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Amhappy(f): 6:47pm On Jul 17, 2014 |
In as much as she still dey baff, OP no get problem. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Otuabaroku: 8:21pm On Jul 17, 2014 |
I don't know why everybody is just advising the op to accept the sudden change of the wife attitude to very important issue simply because this is not the only reason why he married at first place. @Op, talk to your wife and let her know that worshipping God does not mean she should look unkept all the time. Equally let her know the implication of what she is doing and your concern and worries. Hopefully she listens and change. 6 Likes |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Dygeasy(m): 8:58pm On Jul 17, 2014 |
onegig: Sorry but it's very obvious you have never been married or you never placed yourself in his shoes before advicing.I have never married and marriage is still a pretty long shot for me. But do I have to be married before I'll know it's wrong to even try to consider cheating? And only the bolded part is the part I tackled the OP in my previous post. I didn't advise him. You didn't raise bad points too. |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Nobody: 9:25pm On Jul 17, 2014 |
You should discuss the issue with her mother since she isn't listening to you. Let the Mum explain to her that even if she isn't using those things she dosen't have to look unkempt. She needs to find a balance, let your wife know that you don't find her new look attractive and part of her responsibilities in marriage is to look good for her spouse. Ask her how she would feel if you suddenly decide to stop barbing your hair or shaving because you've discovered a new faith that preaches that. Would she be happy? People need to understand that yes you love someone for who they are on the inside but looks are very important in a marriage and neither party should make any drastic changes to their appearance that the spouse won't like. 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by laivwire(m): 9:36pm On Jul 17, 2014 |
ammyluv2002: I understand your point....I sugguest you find a way to still love her like that cause if that's the way she has chosen to worship her God, it won't be fair for you to start cheating on her. I know guys have areas that gets them attracted to ladies but you don't really have a choice here rather you should support her and makke her feel loved. ok, will like to come in here. My understanding of marriage is a little different from whats above. Not trying to be too spiritual but even in churches, it is advised that wives satisfy their husbands. If hubby says he's not comfortable with her going for prayer meeting every day of the week, she shld sit at home. The best she can do is to try convince him. thats submission. it also shows that we are humans after all. Yes, they are both christians but their level of esin is different. A submissive wife shld not carry church activities and doctrines above her husband and or family. Thats her an important call that God purposed for her. Except the family aims to separate her fron the love of God which is unacceptable. Foremost duty is to the husband and their happiness together |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by spiralwedge(m): 11:51pm On Jul 17, 2014 |
most of d comments on page 0 are from unmarried persons. TBH to save your marriage, you must keep fit, kept, in shape and sexy. if anybody advises otherwise, then its deception. let your husband continue to see what he saw in the beginning... otherwise he will look for it elsewhere. 6 Likes |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by DukeNija(m): 12:12am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Sorry to say but there's nothing @Op or anyone can do about the situation. This Woman won't listen to anyone. Oga carry your cross! |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Goldenboy007(m): 3:03am On Jul 18, 2014 |
snowpe: I have been married for 4years now,recently my wife listened to a preaching on the issue of jewelries,trousers and makeup.suddenly she changed and since then she have been making her self unattractive in the name of church activities.sincerely she is making me to loose interest on her,I have spoken to her about it and she refuses to change.what should I do?l am seriously trying not to cheat on her.please I need advice on what to do to save this marriage. The problem about seeking advise in forums like this is that people that don't have business advising you will also give you terrible advise. I wonder what is wrong with people these days, you got married and now decided to change something about yourself regardless of what your spouse think? You do not have the right to change from how your spouse found you!!! This exactly is what causes problems in marriage !!! SO because you are married now, you think you are secured so no need to keep up your game? then you will have yourself to blame. OP, I quite agree with you !! you have a genuine concern and nobody should criticize you! Don't let anybody condemn you on the way you feel! There is something that attracted us to whomever we married and it is not necessary for it to be "Love" !!! Some is physical attraction, some its money, some it is character ! Don't condemn anybody's reason for getting married !!! This is a common problem, call her parents or an elder she respects and talk to them, let them talk to her. Even the bible clearly states the husband as the head of the wife and if whatever you are practicing negates this then you don't know God. What if you decided to adopt a strange habit too? like getting a tattoo? earrings? or go become a Buddhist? How would she feel? However sha, keep your cool, at least thank God it is good thing she adopted and not that she decided to become a "wakawaka" wife Nairalanders! If you are not married! stop advising married people because you don't know jack what it is all about !!!! Your Nollywood and Mills&Boom Romance Novel experience don't apply in reality! 28 Likes |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Crixie(m): 6:45am On Jul 18, 2014 |
ammyluv2002: I understand your point....I sugguest you find a way to still love her like that cause if that's the way she has chosen to worship her God, it won't be fair for you to start cheating on her. I know guys have areas that gets them attracted to ladies but you don't really have a choice here rather you should support her and makke her feel loved.I don't agree with you ooooh... Her style of worshiping God should not affect their marriage, Imagine the husband chooses to become celibate as his own style of worshiping God... Hope the woman would accept it 4 Likes |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Atk1nson(m): 6:48am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Blockus:Are you joking? |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by nnamdibig(m): 6:51am On Jul 18, 2014 |
xynerise: My guy don marry make up.... Marriage I believe should be about inner qualities not physical qualities. |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by busky101(m): 6:53am On Jul 18, 2014 |
follow am repent........[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font] [b][/b] |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by atrix4g(m): 6:53am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Alhamdulilah I'm a muslim 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Tikitaka(m): 6:54am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Marriage is for better and for worse remember? Do I need to break it down for you? |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by justi4jesu(f): 6:59am On Jul 18, 2014 |
@OP if u cant beat them you join them 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Nobody: 7:01am On Jul 18, 2014 |
The beauty of a woman is her husband's pride (that's my opinion). So you are in order if you don't like her sudden change in grooming. What I think you should do is take the matter to your pastor (I hope both of you attend the same church!). Both of you need counselling. On the meantime, don't nag about her appearance. Shower her with gifts and attention. Btw, do you have kids with her yet? Is she gainfully employed? Is she financially viable? |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by ammyluv2002(f): 7:01am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Crixie: I don't agree with you ooooh... Her style of worshiping God should not affect their marriage, Imagine the husband chooses to become celibate as his own style of worshiping God... Hope the woman would accept itWell, you have a point sha 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Bank450(m): 7:02am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Since you already know the source of the problem. You have to tackle it that way too, discuss with you pastor or any church elder, so they can talk her out of it. |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Nobody: 7:03am On Jul 18, 2014 |
nnamdibig: Guy, when you are married, you will come and tell us whether marriage is ONLY about inner beauty. No go deceive yourself ooo! 7 Likes |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by babasaxo(f): 7:04am On Jul 18, 2014 |
My man,u own your wife,u no where the shoe pinches,my kandid advice is,change your church or her church,change her sim card,change ur house. Setting and get like dstv for her. To always watch this western christain dress sense,get a more suffisticated pastor tape for her on christain and dress sense,like pastor tunde bakere,pastor sam adeyemi and pastor mattew ashimolowo or yemisi ashimolowo,then you are good to go |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Janetozi(f): 7:06am On Jul 18, 2014 |
@op, ur wife wasn't born with make-up & jewelry on her face & attachment on her hair & she is not going back to her creator that way. U should should have try to find out is she looks attractive without those artificial or not b4 getting married to her, but now that u have married her & she becomes born again, u have to support her. Lead her not into hell...... Those things she avoid using are what she have to sacrificed to get where she wants to spend her eternity. Hell may be cheap but heaven is not. |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Nobody: 7:07am On Jul 18, 2014 |
atrix4g: Alhamdulilah I'm a muslim And so? Does that exempt you from enjoying the beauty of your lawfully wedded wife? |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Dcaliphate(m): 7:14am On Jul 18, 2014 |
xynerise:why dont u proffer a solution if u have any and stop bickering 3 Likes |
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