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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! (40932 Views)
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Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by TheMatrix3: 9:42am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Talk to her pastor as a man |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by MadCow1: 9:43am On Jul 18, 2014 |
nairakobo: #Classic response.. #BlessThisPost. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Chubhie: 9:43am On Jul 18, 2014 |
ammyluv2002: I understand your point....I sugguest you find a way to still love her like that cause if that's the way she has chosen to worship her God, it won't be fair for you to start cheating on her. I know guys have areas that gets them attracted to ladies but you don't really have a choice here rather you should support her and makke her feel loved. |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by MadCow1: 9:46am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Onyinyechi1008: Then that means that u re gonna marry a woman that doesn't ve a mind of her own. A woman who you will expect to obey you just like a tamed dog do (no offence). A wife been submissive to the husband doesn't mean that she has to be a lap dog. Get a dictionary.. Google the word submissive.. read what you find slowly and carefully.. Get someone to help interprete what you read if need be.. Come back here, edit your post and re-post it. Then thank me later. You either submit or rebel.. #Go ahead and bless this post now. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Nobody: 9:46am On Jul 18, 2014 |
@op, I'll be different in my own opinion. Sorry cos I'll be straight forward and honest with you. I put the blame squarely on your door step. You failed in your duties to be the physical and spiritual head of your home. You allow some man outside to take the scriptures out of text and brain wash your wife and today, you are at the receiving end! I'll advice you to study the scriptures with your wife together, pray the Holy Spirit to give you understanding and you'll see that in no time she will realize her mistake. Contemplating cheating is never a solution, it's the devil trying to sink your marriage the more. Resist him! 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Wislet(f): 9:50am On Jul 18, 2014 |
lrguru: women wear high heels to boost confidence or to be sexy. Women who wear high heel with the sole purpose to obtain sexual attention are being tempted bylook at that quotation yourself and note the main point there... "But you trusted and relied on your own beauty.......". You trusted your own beauty means you were vain about your physical appearance...you flaunted it...you thought you were above everyone else because you were beautiful...you bragged about it...you saw it as your 'achievement' in life...you were proud because of it. That is completely away from the topic of discuss. It is completely different from a woman who dresses just to look good (as one should). So, a woman should stop looking decent and beautiful because she doesn't want a man to look at her lustfully? If she wore provocative clothing, that is a different matter altogether. Mr, pls. Don't preach what Christ didn't teach. Don't quote the Bible and then interpret it as your senses tell you, and then say "that's what God said". Please don't. If you lack understanding, ask The Holy spirit to teach you and help you understand some things instead of following your religious leader blindly. He/she is not God. Every church these days interpret the Bible according to what they think. If God should open your eyes and teach you Himself, you will realize that a lot of errors are in some of these 'teachings' and 'truths' we believe today. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by 4thsense: 9:51am On Jul 18, 2014 |
xynerise: [b]Oga, please provide a solution to this guy or stop questioning him like you are his father. Are you not a man? No man, I don’t care how spiritual or his quality of integrity can stand a marital relationship with dead sexual attraction, and don’t tell me the only advice is for him to pray for God to help him endure. Apart from the fact that our generation is driven by empty fantasies like soap operas and fake reality shows, the family, church and other platform of training and nurture for the future parents are fast losing their values for building successful homes and this is killing the society. That is why a wife abdicates the responsibility of protecting the core of her success and fulfillment, which is a successful home in the name of religion and I say this as a very matured Christian- this is wrong. OP, one of the good advices you can get is for you to find equally spiritual but matured adult women who are sound and civilized in thinking to help out your wife. She would most probably be willing to listen to such people because they would show her that the bible stands contrary to that behavior. I suggest you refer her to a Christian women's event "HEAVEN'S NIGHT", that has been saving marriages and producing virtuous women lately that holds today and tomorrow. Standard Alliance Building, Lekki Phase1, 6pm for both days. Direction: Enter Lekki Phase 1 from the 2nd gate (next round about right after Lekki1 main gate round about), then enter the immediate dual road to your left; Providence street. Drive straight down, Standard Alliance building is just beside the Ford Briscoe building. Share your wife's experience with us here afterwards, hope you succeed. Good luck.[/b] 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Janetozi(f): 9:53am On Jul 18, 2014 |
nairakobo:that was an old pix bro, i changed it b4 because of my changed person but due to the problem nairaland faced recently, after resolving the problem that is the picture i saw there. I tried to change it again but netwrk is no allowing. Aren't u affected by the loss of data that nairaland faced recently? |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by decode55(m): 9:56am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Blockus: [size=30pt] word! [/size] 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by xynerise: 9:57am On Jul 18, 2014 |
4thsense:A simple answer to that question will fetch my advice. Is that too much to ask? This is a sensitive matter and should be handled with care. I just want to see the issue in different perspective. Na wa o Anyways, he said the issue has been resolved. Congrats to him. I believe the counsellor asked him same question I asked him |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Justbright(m): 9:57am On Jul 18, 2014 |
I av taken time to read most of d responses on dis thread and one tin I found missing was a question we shuld all ask......what is d biblica principle on how a xtian lady or man shuld dress?....does Bible forbids jwelries and looking gud?....is looking unkept a criteria or indices for measuring ur qualifications for making heaven?.......if a woman listened to a tape and suddenly changed from a gorgeous woman to a tattered stinking lady , shuld dat be enof to put off d hubby?...in as much as I dnt support d op on adultery I think his wife needs to sit down and undstands d principle of God about fashion. ....most xtians are too lazy to sit down wt d word to really know what d word is saying tru d help of d holy spirit. ...I attend mfm where wearing jwelries is a great taboo, dey av preached on it severally and at a point my wife contepleted not using (she uses a tiny earings) cos she wants to join d choir (cos in ma church u cant be a worker and use jwelries)...I sat her down show her scriptures dat not only encourage jwelries and looking gud but dat preached it....from d time she knows d truth she has neva been worried about what one pastors or prophet says on dat issue, cos d Bible says "u shal kno d truth and d truth shal set u free".....I will advice u communicate and pray wt ur wife...dirtiness and been unkept is not synonymous to heavenly bound pple......though moderacy shuld be d watchwaord of every beliver |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by MadCow1: 9:57am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Janetozi: deuteronomy 29 vs 5- "and i have led u forty yrs in the wilderness: ur clothes are no waxed old upon u, & thy shoe is not waxen old upon ur for" that shows that God approve of clothes and shoe but did u hear him talk about make up, eye glass and the rest? Genesis 35 vs 2 "then Jacob said unto his household, & to all that were with him, put away the strange gods that are among u, and be clean, and change ur garments: vs 4 and they gave unto Jacob all the strange gods which were in their hand, and all their earrings which were in their ears; and Jacob hi them under the oak which was by shechem" this goes further to show that God approve of garments and not earrings and the rest. Jeremiah 4 vs 3m "and when thou art spoiled wilt thou do? Though thou clothes thy self with crimson, though thou deckest thee with ornaments of gold, though thou rentest thy face with painti, in vain shalt thou make thyself fair............ [b]Ezekiel 16:8-15King James Version (KJV) 8 Now when I passed by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time was the time of love; and I spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy unclothedness: yea, I sware unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord God, and thou becamest mine. 9 Then washed I thee with water; yea, I throughly washed away thy blood from thee, and I anointed thee with oil. 10 I clothed thee also with broidered work, and shod thee with badgers' skin, and I girded thee about with fine linen, and I covered thee with silk. 11 I decked thee also with ornaments, and I put bracelets upon thy hands, and a chain on thy neck. 12 And I put a jewel on thy forehead, and earrings in thine ears, and a beautiful crown upon thine head. 13 Thus wast thou decked with gold and silver; and thy raiment was of fine linen, and silk, and broidered work; thou didst eat fine flour, and honey, and oil: and thou wast exceeding beautiful, and thou didst prosper into a kingdom. 14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord God. [/b] 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by marv1: 9:59am On Jul 18, 2014 |
ammyluv2002: I understand your point....I sugguest you find a way to still love her like that cause if that's the way she has chosen to worship her God, it won't be fair for you to start cheating on her. I know guys have areas that gets them attracted to ladies but you don't really have a choice here rather you should support her and makke her feel loved.well said. Does it mean that when u are making luv to her u always imagine her wit jewelries? Mr man u better make up. U avnt said u saw her with another man or clubing or any negative thing. Mr man if u want to cheat go and do dat and stop telling us that is because ur wife is nt making up. Nonsense. |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Janetozi(f): 9:59am On Jul 18, 2014 |
MadCow1:no close the case we never finish |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by onoja12: 10:01am On Jul 18, 2014 |
I would answer for him,there is nothing like cheating in African tradition,my friend if a wife refuses to be obedient,my guy take a second wife,if she gives trouble kick her out,cause a woman's ear is open to just one,and if she is not listening to you then she is listening to her pastor. I stopped my wife from going to church for months for daring to give out food money to her church,I told her its either she is married to me or the pastor,they cant be two captains in this ship,she thought i was joking by the time she started night vigil and i started clubbing back,nobody told her before she returned to her senses xynerise: 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by JhaayYoung: 10:02am On Jul 18, 2014 |
When you got attracted to her, her physical appearance was a factor.. Men definitely get thrilled by good looks. IT IS SIMPLY NOT FAIR TO MAKE SUCH CHANGE ALL OF A SUDDEN WITHOUT PUTTING YOUR SPOUSE INTO CONSIDERATION. For Christ sake you are suppose to live together forever and to cope with this, She must be able to still thrill you and look attractive, just four years into marriage, she started this. If she is not listening to you, I think you should talk to those who gave her to you.( Her parents). Pour out your mind completely out to them.. If she refuses. Just perform your necessary financial duty and cut every other out, like intimacy, Confiding in her. Hang out more with your friends and leave her to herself. Basically cut out every form on intimacy. Laides learn faster by Making them feel hurt too.. If she suddenly made that decision without considering you.. You make yours too and let's see if her pastor would supply her with the intimacy and affection she needs. |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by nonjebose(m): 10:03am On Jul 18, 2014 |
My brother-in law's wife did the same thing sometime ago. She practiced this for sometime till she heard a contrary preaching. She sought my view,and I gave her my understanding of the scripture. She has since gone back to dressing smartly and elegantly. It is important to mention that her husband did not oppose her throughout the period. Be patient and friendly to her |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Acidosis(m): 10:03am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Lol So in your fickle mind; any woman who refuses to wear make-up, trousers & jewelry is UNKEPT? The saying that one man's food is another man's poison is true |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by onoja12: 10:03am On Jul 18, 2014 |
abeg,just like women are moved by words,that's how men are moved by sight flipflop: Sir, I'm sure you did not marry her just for beauty alone. Your wife has acted on faith, you criticizing and demanding for her to change may destroy her faith. Give her your support as her husband and friend. If you feel she looks unkempt, it just because you are still looking for that woman she used to be. You suggesting cheating on her is absolutely absurd and terribly wicked. Your wife is your wife, stop loving her for the outside "beauty" and start focusing on the inward beauty that does not change or fade. *#shrugs shoulder |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Ahmed0336(m): 10:07am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Blockus: Blockus: |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by AdeniyiA(m): 10:09am On Jul 18, 2014 |
obayaya:what if he married her because of her packaging which she now wrongfully repackage(to d husby) |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Nobody: 10:13am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Wislet: look at that quotation yourself and note the main point there... "But you trusted and relied on your own beauty.......". You trusted your own beauty means you were vain about your physical appearance...you flaunted it...you thought you were above everyone else because you were beautiful...you bragged about it...you saw it as your 'achievement' in life...you were proud because of it.u don't seem to get it, the way we dress and walk should not be to attract the other person lustfully, n like I said, wearing high heel do make u feel sexy, and being sexy is a sin cos it makes the other gender look at you lustfully, and I qouted matthew 5:18. I'm not compellin you to do as I say, n we are all entitled to our on opinion. The world is really been brainwashed and made to think that bad things are good, I won't talk further ma'am for the Bible made it clear that we should choose Ye this days who we would follow, if you think heels are good for u, fine |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by AdeniyiA(m): 10:13am On Jul 18, 2014 |
I think the husband should find out what the wife loves most about him, then change in doing such and lets see how the wife behaves . tit4tat tinz 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by obowunmi(m): 10:15am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Lots of sick unmarried teenagers giving advice. Women, do all you can to keep your husband. |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Orikinla(m): 10:17am On Jul 18, 2014 |
[size=18pt]Everytime someone is brought to me for prayers, i always ask God to have mercy on them. Why because 99% of the time must people are where they are or suffering what they are suffering because of what they have done to offend/upset God. Now ask #JESUS for Mercy. ~ Pastor Enoch Adejare Adeboye.[/size] |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Boss13: 10:17am On Jul 18, 2014 |
snowpe: l appreciate all the advice given,it makes me strong and opens my eyes more to understand something s which I didn't.by God's grace I will never cheat on her. Your wife has been brainwashed. You did not seek your authority to carry out her new ways. If you do not like it, you better let her know. |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by flipflop(f): 10:18am On Jul 18, 2014 |
nkpommpko: so he should live with a mad religious brain washed fanatic? Becuase of this marriage thing. Look in a marriage its moderation, if she wants to be a warrior for christ or allah or buddha she should hit the streets and stay there!wow! No wonder divorce is so rampant nowadays. |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by Janetozi(f): 10:21am On Jul 18, 2014 |
MadCow1:why do u have to end it in verse 14, read down and see what men did with the earrings. Verse 15- but thou did trust in thine own beauty, and playedst the harlot because of thy renowned, & pouredst out thy fornication on every one that passed by; his it was. 17 thou has also taken thy fair jewels of gold and of my silver, which i had given thee, and madest to thyself images of men and didst commit whoredom with them read that place very well and read it to the end. *** i have butchered and ate several "mad cows" in the past, but still hungry for more. |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by JhaayYoung: 10:23am On Jul 18, 2014 |
lrguru: u don't seem to get it, the way we dress and walk should not be to attract the other person lustfully, n like I said, wearing high heel do make u feel sexy, and being sexy is a sin cos it makes the other gender look at you lustfully, and I qouted matthew 5:18. I'm not compellin you to do as I say, n we are all entitled to our on opinion. The world is really been brainwashed and made to think that bad things are good, I won't talk further ma'am for the Bible made it clear that we should choose Ye this days who we would follow, if you think heels are good for u, fine. So looking sexy for your husband is a sin.. Making your your husband want you is a sin right.. Oh, I see.. If there is anything greater that SEXY probably "Hot".. You should look it for your husband. He is your LORD and HUSBAND. |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by ElFenomeno1: 10:23am On Jul 18, 2014 |
snowpe: I have been married for 4years now,recently my wife listened to a preaching on the issue of jewelries,trousers and makeup.suddenly she changed and since then she have been making her self unattractive in the name of church activities.sincerely she is making me to loose interest on her,I have spoken to her about it and she refuses to change.what should I do?l am seriously trying not to cheat on her.please I need advice on what to do to save this marriage.You want to cheat on your wife because she doesn't wear make up? How old are you? I can relate to your wife making herself unattractive but your wife doesn't need make up to be attractive. |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by flipflop(f): 10:24am On Jul 18, 2014 |
Mariojane: I support u to an extent cos d op did nt mention d church she is converted to. Some churches can convince u to leave ur marriage nd without a second thought u will leave cos you believe anytin ur pastor say is d truth. Some women will leave their homes as early as 7am without cooking for their husbands all in d name of "pastor said we hv to clean d church" nd return 8pm. Op u need to hv a serious talk with ur wife not cos of her dresscode but for her not to b brainwash by a pastor nd fellow women in d church. Always remind her that u re d husband in case pastor ask her to do sometin without ur permission.d same tin is applicable to guys, some guys will even call their pastor to tell him they want to give their wives money. Just talk to her I believe she will listen cos of d luv u shareI concur. @ op, if your wife ain't reading her bible and following what the bible says instead of what a man says, you need to start praying hard. Because fake pastors abound. |
Re: My Wife Over Spiritual Orientation Is Driving Me Nuts!!! by donline: 10:29am On Jul 18, 2014 |
best wife or mother 2 have
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