But d man sef na big time 'ode'. What will 4m do in his life? If dat was his initial plan him for target beta money nah. Didn't he see the one that eloped with $50k with a lot of oda valuables plus Range Rover(beta car)
On a more serious note, sisters need to soft pedal on this 'husban' ish. Everybody must not get married. I have a family friend, she's in her late sixties now(single), she may not genuinely be happy, but since there is nothing she can do anymore, she's living with it. Adopted 2kids.
Don't ask me why she's not married, its a very looonnngggggg story. Buh she didn't choose dat part nor saw it coming.

Elantracey:


You just did what you are accusing me of , jumping to hasty conclusion like I said I've read people's biography and I know live stories of friends and relatives , i try and get a link later to some biographies and probably post it here.


I don't know anything o.

I didn't accuse you oh, you said 80 percent and I asked for result of research on the topic.
What happens with our immediate families does not constitute 80percent of women

aisha2:


I didn't accuse you oh, you said 80 percent and I asked for result of research on the topic.
What happens with our immediate families does not constitute 80percent of women

yea I know but its similar in one or two ways , OK let's take her case for instance , this a just a wild guess but from the op the could be seen that she's rich and probably wanted to concentrate on her career first before thinking of marriage and off course there's nothing wrong with that but in life there's something called balance and we should know our priorities ,wanting to be successful doesn't mean we should totally shut out guys from our lives , she could have found one among the toasters around who's dreams and goals matches with hers , am not trying to say this is her case but it must have been a little bit similar.

Elantracey:


Am not being judgemental or trying to blame her but being sincere but Ma'am there's no way a woman whether ugly or fine , fat or thin will not see who to marry her in 20 years its just impossible , I might be young but I've seen and experienced things far bigger than my age , from life stories from friends and relatives and from ready ladies biography around the world ive come to know that around 80% of ladies who instead to get married but remained single till above 35 is either caused spiritually or by the person herself ,am not generalizing tho but there's nothing new under the sun , if you get to know her life story you'll definitely see her mistakes which probably she didn't see then and maybe realised too late so that's I asked the question tho I know she wouldn't be able to answer.






patiently waiting for the insults to start pouring in , I know nairalanders never disappoint

This is hilarious. One can only laugh at your naivety.
Learn not to generalize as seen in your other posts on this topic as all the ladies you know are less than .1% of the female population.

GboyegaD:

This is hilarious. One can only laugh at your naivety.

you can laugh all you want but show me a 30 years old lady that have never being approached all her life then I'll tell her to go see her pastor

Elantracey:


you can laugh all you want but show me a 30 years old lady that have never being approached all her life then I'll tell her to go see her pastor

And she must marry anyone she dates even if she foresees danger.

GboyegaD:

And she must marry anyone she dates even if she foresees danger.

I never said that , did I ?

Elantracey:


you can laugh all you want but show me a 30 years old lady that have never being approached all her life then I'll tell her to go see her pastor

Are you saying that instead of remaining single till 30years, you'll rather marry one of your numerous toasters even if he is not the kind of man you want to spend the rest your life with?

Elantracey:
lol ,no I don't but its something I've come to terms with being insulted by people when you see things differently from them instead of just correcting or arguing politely .
My dear there's nothing wrong with a simple question because you have no idea why I asked it .
Am not good or better than her but I know in this my life I can't stay single till 30 and its a fact and if I ever do I'll know that am planing to stay single all my life and devote my time and life to order things .

Elantracey:


yea I know but its similar in one or two ways , OK let's take her case for instance , this a just a wild guess but from the op the could be seen that she's rich and probably wanted to concentrate on her career first before thinking of marriage and off course there's nothing wrong with that but in life there's something called balance and we should know our priorities ,wanting to be successful doesn't mean we should totally shut out guys from our lives , she could have found one among the toasters around who's dreams and goals matches with hers , am not trying to say this is her case but it must have been a little bit similar.

How do you know if she was not heart broken and to get over it she worked hard and harder to succeed?
How do you know if she didn't save up and pay for a fiancee to go abroad while she worked hard here and after years of promises she realised she had been dumped and had to start over?

How do you know if for year after year she had not loved and lost?

How do you even know that it was not her life savings or if she borrowed the money or even sold her possessions?

You realy don't know her story while what you assume may be true it may also not be true, being single is not a disease one brings on themself

Plus is it evry man dat approaches a woman wants marriage? And must d lady consider evry Tom, D+ck and Harry simply because she doesn't want to get to 30 as a single lady.
Like I said earlier she never see tinz
No need going back and forth trying to prove reality to her.

Godmystrength: Are you saying that instead of remaining single till 30years, you'll rather marry one of your numerous toasters even if he is not the kind of man you want to spend the rest your life with?

I can't but that doesn't mean out of the numerous there won't be one , just one that can meet my standard if its like that then I'll have to check myself because that only means that am either chasing shadows or the picture of me am presenting is not actually who I am because I know you attract who you are.

Elantracey:

I can't but that doesn't mean out of the numerous there won't be one , just one that can meet my standard if its like that then I'll have to check myself because that only means that am either chasing shadows or the picture of me am presenting is not actually who I am because I know you attract who you are.

meeting your standard is different from wanting marriage.
What if you see a man that meets your standard but doesn't want marriage?
What if you see a man that does not meet your standard but wants marriage?
What if there is a man that meets your standard, wants marriage but you don't like the person for one reason or the other?
so many what ifs....So my dear, you really can't say...

except you are saying that you will be able to force yourself to love a man (that you don't love or feel connected to) once he meets your standard and wants marriage

if i was to go by your ideology, i should have been married like 6years ago but i have no regret walking away from that relationship(a 7years old relationship) (not because he wasn't my standard, nor because he doesn't want marriage, nor because i didn't love him, nor because he didn't love me). Though i have my own share of marital challenges, i still thank God i didn't marry the guy then

Elantracey:
you can laugh all you want but show me a 30 years old lady that have never being approached all her life then I'll tell her to go see her pastor

At 30 I had been approached but by men who if I had married I would have been divorced by now. I didn't see any pastor I simply knew God had a bigger and better plan for me, I was ready to stay in course and live a good life spouse or no spouse.

Elantracey:
lol ,no I don't but its something I've come to terms with being insulted by people when you see things differently from them instead of just correcting or arguing politely .
My dear there's nothing wrong with a simple question because you have no idea why I asked it .
Am not good or better than her but I know in this my life I can't stay single till 30 and its a fact and if I ever do I'll know that am planing to stay single all my
life and devote my time and life to order things .

As a fellow woman I can only advice that you don't push yourself to marry by force because you don't wanted be single at 30. Godforbid that you marry at 25 and at 30 you cry to bed each night.
Life is very crazy, anything cab happen. People get widowed at 30 or even before, people separate at that age some are happily married but everyone has a different journey and race it is important we understand that.

I had always assumed I will marry early because I had dated one person only for years, infact if you go through my posts about 6 or 7 years ago I was meant to be married it didn't happen but till today I go on my knees and thank God that even on the eve of when I was meant to marry I walked away if not I would have been lamenting daily under different names on nairaland and different blogs.

Today, I married after your 30 years deadline but to my own husband who God designed and kept for me.

It's ideal to marry and bare kids early but if it doesn't happen we shouldn't loose hope or in this case blame the unmarried. Life happens To us all. Thus the bible says let he who thinks he stands take heed lest he falls.

I can only pray dear that's a bid to meet your timeline. You don't miss God's Own timeline

Elantracey:


I never said that , did I ?

You implied it by saying a lady should be married before 30.

Elantracey:

I can't but that doesn't mean out of the numerous there won't be one , just one that can meet my standard if its like that then I'll have to check myself because that only means that am either chasing shadows or the picture of me am presenting is not actually who I am because I know you attract who you are.

That is the beauty of dating, knowing who you will be able to live with for ever and not just getting someone to marry regardless.

We attract all sorts while dating hence we take the time to weed out the chaff and Hold on to the grain.
Nothing wrong in having standards, this is not person you will manage for a year but for ever. This person will likely not change from who he or she is, it may even get worse.

Dating enables you to try and see who the person is and how you both would be able to live and work together,you can only determine your actions and not the actions of the other party.

No one should marry just for marrying sake or because they are not getting younger, marry because you have found that person whose po-o you can willingly stomach forever.
If you go to buy a dress do you just pick anyone from the rack because you are late? No you check if it fits especially an expensive dress, check all angles and if you are in a hurry you can leave it and return the next day or if it doesn't fit you get another one.if we can spend that much time and energy for a dress we will only wear for tops a year we should also devote much more consideration for a spouse who we would have forever if God keeps you both alive. If you fail to check well then in a few years one would be crying

Anyway, at the end of the day, it's your views, I pray for Gods guidance for you and us all in our journey

aisha2: Anyway, at the end of the day, it's your views, I pray for Gods guidance for you and us all in our journey

Amen

aisha2:

At 30 I had been approached but by men who if I had married I would have been divorced by now. I didn't see any pastor I simply knew God had a bigger and better plan for me, I was ready to stay in course and live a good life spouse or no spouse.



As a fellow woman I can only advice that you don't push yourself to marry by force because you don't wanted be single at 30. Godforbid that you marry at 25 and at 30 you cry to bed each night.
Life is very crazy, anything cab happen. People get widowed at 30 or even before, people separate at that age some are happily married but everyone has a different journey and race it is important we understand that.

I had always assumed I will marry early because I had dated one person only for years, infant if you go through my posts about 6 or 7 years ago I was meant to be married it didn't happen but till today I go on my knees and thank God that even on the eve of when I was meant to marry I walked away if not I would have been lamenting daily under different names on nairaland and different blogs.

Today, I married after your 30 years deadline but to my own husband who God designed and kept for me.

It's ideal to marry and bare kids early but if it doesn't happen we shouldn't loose hope or in this case blame the unmarried. Life happens To us all. Thus the bible says let he who thinks he stands take heed lest he falls.

I can only pray dear that's a bid to meet your timeline. You don't miss God's Own timeline

wow , thanks for your advice and I really appreciate , I would have loved to ask a few questions but I really don't want to go into your personal life .

Elantracey:
wow , thanks for your advice and I really appreciate , I would have loved to ask a few questions but I really don't want to go into your personal life .

Ask oh as long as they are not rude questions what good is my experience if it won't help someone else

elantracey I know in this my life I can't stay single till 30 and its a fact and if I ever do I'll know that am planing to stay single all my life and devote my time and life to order things .

If you're not married yet,then you've no place making that statement.
Life is full of ups and downs.
Some times it's not about how pretty,classy or whatever a lady is.
Anything can happen to anyone. My friend that got married last year at 35 would have said the same some one decade+ earlier. But alas her fiance died 2 months to their wedding when she was 27 after a 6yr relationship.
It took her how many more years to find someone else to settle down with and finally she got married at 35.
There's no hurry in life. I know the normal thing is for proposals to pour in when a pretty lady is 20+ especially early twenties but unless you encourage ladies marrying anyone just to get married,you can't really swear on the 30 line.
Time flies too.
Be easy on yourself darling.

Oh I didn't see this.
I wouldn't have bothered. You said it all

aisha2:

At 30 I had been approached but by men who if I had married I would have been divorced by now. I didn't see any pastor I simply knew God had a bigger and better plan for me, I was ready to stay in course and live a good life spouse or no spouse.



As a fellow woman I can only advice that you don't push yourself to marry by force because you don't wanted be single at 30. Godforbid that you marry at 25 and at 30 you cry to bed each night.
Life is very crazy, anything cab happen. People get widowed at 30 or even before, people separate at that age some are happily married but everyone has a different journey and race it is important we understand that.

I had always assumed I will marry early because I had dated one person only for years, infact if you go through my posts about 6 or 7 years ago I was meant to be married it didn't happen but till today I go on my knees and thank God that even on the eve of when I was meant to marry I walked away if not I would have been lamenting daily under different names on nairaland and different blogs.

Today, I married after your 30 years deadline but to my own husband who God designed and kept for me.

It's ideal to marry and bare kids early but if it doesn't happen we shouldn't loose hope or in this case blame the unmarried. Life happens To us all. Thus the bible says let he who thinks he stands take heed lest he falls.

I can only pray dear that's a bid to meet your timeline. You don't miss God's Own timeline

wonders shall never end



iriri aye akamara

Elantracey: I pity the woman



but what was she doing till 42

What is your business?

When registry turn bank wey she carry 4 million go or na before dem arrange marriage?

This is what being desperate towards getting married can cause.
Shine your eyes and let God...

This is a lesson to all these girls forming for dudes now. Some have list of things they want in their man.

Ehyaa broken-hearted lady. She'd find it hard to trust any man that smiles @ her, marriage out of the picture for now ... Make dem use boiling ring for dat wicked, hungry bros so that he'd repent.

Elantracey: I pity the woman



but what was she doing till 42

She was busy searching for Mr Right!

its actually a pity though...feel very bad for the woman......btw...May God provide another husband for that lady..............

@elantracey...i sincerely hope you see a man that fits your dream husband before 30...Amen..."was actually suprised a lady made that sort of comment"
..sometimes all we can do is pray our plan should fall according to Gods will for us ".............

aisha2:

Ask oh as long as they are not rude questions what good is my experience if it won't help someone else

I will just like to know what it was you saw that made you quit your previous relationship and was it that you didn't see it while dating or you acted like you didn't see it .

Elantracey: I pity the woman



but what was she doing till 42

You should hear her story first.
Life is not always fair.

Elantracey:


Am not being judgemental or trying to blame her but being sincere but Ma'am there's no way a woman whether ugly or fine , fat or thin will not see who to marry her in 20 years its just impossible , I might be young but I've seen and experienced things far bigger than my age , from life stories from friends and relatives and from ready ladies biography around the world ive come to know that around 80% of ladies who instead to get married but remained single till above 35 is either caused spiritually or by the person herself ,am not generalizing tho but there's nothing new under the sun , if you get to know her life story you'll definitely see her mistakes which probably she didn't see then and maybe realised too late so that's I asked the question tho I know she wouldn't be able to answer.






patiently waiting for the insults to start pouring in , I know nairalanders never disappoint

This is not intended as an insult as I can see you are expecting some. You do not come across as a very bright person or one inclined to mental exertion. Everybody has their own gifts and talents and yours does not seem to be in the brain area.Why not just observe and read rather than advertise your weakness? Just my own advice