nwapastor: Why is it that when a man likes/loves a woman/lady he often finds a way of communicating it but when he falls out of love he tends to just walk away without any explanation leaving the lady to keep wondering what went wrong? Sometimes the next thing the lady will hear is that he is getting married to someone else leaving the lady speechless (to say the least).

So the woman doesn't call him a jerk, or make him out to be evil for breaking up with her

jennykadry:

Freecocoa nwa oma. Better prepare yaself for marriage cos I have one nice hot bobo who wants a wife. Now I have to choose between you and Aisha2

Heheheehe hope he no mind marrying a married woman lol

coogar:

nwapastor, i almost wept reading the above. you mean to tell me this is what single women go through at work, in our churches and even in the family?

please tell us more, i am eager to learn.

Well, not in all cases. I am single and most of my working experience have been with children. Not once have I been treated differently from my married colleagues, and in church, I don't really socialise so I haven't noticed any odd treatment as a result of my marital status. I don't want to blow my horn or anything like that, but, at work I have a voice who most people listen to, single and married alike.

On my facebook wall, virtually all my female friends are married, but that doesn't stop me from interacting freely with them. I don't feel any awkwardness because of my marital status. Maybe its because deep down, I am actually a bit scared of commitment. Asides that, I don't know why but the men of nowadays ehn... So many boyfriends, so few husband materials... I voiced this to my mum and she was like "Ishi, are you sure spirit husband is not worrying you?? ".

Well, I will admit that there are times when I wish there was someone who will whisper sweet nothings into my ears (I am hopelessly romantic ) and at those times I give one of my admirers a chance. Well, the sweet nothings get really boring, really fast, and then I quietly withdraw . Mum is actually more worried about my unmarried status than I. It's not about marrying and having children. Heck, even some mad women have children. For me it is about marrying RIGHT. I don't want to endure marriage, I wanna enjoy it and have peace of mind.

How do I cope with spinsterhood? Well, there's nothing to cope with to start with. I'm single and living my life like the trumpet will sound tomorrow (and it just may so we have to be vigilant), and that suffices. For now

alutacontinua:


you gotta be kidding me
in this day and age

Personally I feel it is how you present yourself before the world that will determine how you're treated. I might be wrong but I feel the op has complex issues. Apologies to the op but that's vibes I'm getting from her post.

jennykadry:

Freecocoa nwa oma. Better prepare yaself for marriage cos I have one nice hot bobo who wants a wife. Now I have to choose between you and Aisha2

Lol, well I trust you wella so I'll be thinking about it.

What wouldn't I give to just up myself and travel around like I used to. Now I have to most times wait for school holidays and calculate airfare and pack all the yama yama inside bag

nwapastor: Why is it that when a man likes/loves a woman/lady he often finds a way of communicating it but when he falls out of love he tends to just walk away without any explanation leaving the lady to keep wondering what went wrong? Sometimes the next thing the lady will hear is that he is getting married to someone else leaving the lady speechless (to say the least).

Babe na wa ooo! All these stories only u! Na u b d only single wey waka come? Hian! 'coping with', 'managing' being single na affliction?

Ishilove:
Well, not in all cases. I am single and most of my working experience have been with children. Not once have I been treated differently from my married colleagues, and in church, I don't really socialise so I haven't noticed any odd treatment as a result of my marital status. I don't want to blow my horn or anything like that, but, at work I have a voice who most people listen to, single and married alike.

On my facebook wall, virtually all my female friends are married, but that doesn't stop me from interacting freely with them. I don't feel any awkwardness because of my marital status. Maybe its because deep down, I am actually a bit scared of commitment. Asides that, I don't know why but the men of nowadays ehn... So many boyfriends, so few husband materials... I voiced this to my mum and she was like "Ishi, are you sure spirit husband is not worrying you?? ".

Well, I will admit that there are times when I wish there was someone who will whisper sweet nothings into my ears (I am hopelessly romantic ) and at those times I give one of my admirers a chance. Well, the sweet nothings get really boring, really fast, and then I quietly withdraw . Mum is actually more worried about my unmarried status than I. It's not about marrying and having children. Heck, even some mad women have children. For me it is about marrying RIGHT. I don't want to endure marriage, I wanna enjoy it and have peace of mind.

How do I cope with spinsterhood? Well, there's nothing to cope with to start with. I'm single and living my life like the trumpet will sound tomorrow (and it just may so we have to be vigilant), and that suffices. For now

ishilove, you are still young abeg!
didn't you just celebrate your 21st birthday few months ago? there's no pressure for you in comparison to nwapastor. keep living your life like the trumpet will sound tomorrow - you still have about 7 years left to toy with your options.

[quote author=Ishilove]
Well, not in all cases. I am single and most of my working experience have been with children. Not once have I been treated differently from my married colleagues, and in church, I don't really socialise so I haven't noticed any odd treatment as a result of my marital status. I don't want to blow my horn or anything like that, but, at work I have a voice who most people listen to, single and married alike.

On my facebook wall, virtually all my female friends are married, but that doesn't stop me from interacting freely with them. I don't feel any awkwardness because of my marital status. Maybe its because deep down, I am actually a bit scared of commitment. Asides that, I don't know why but the men of nowadays ehn... So many boyfriends, so few husband materials... I voiced this to my mum and she was like "Ishi, are you sure spirit husband is not worrying you?? ".

Well, I will admit that there are times when I wish there was someone who will whisper sweet nothings into my ears (I am hopelessly romantic ) and at those times I give one of my admirers a chance. Well, the sweet nothings get really boring, really fast, and then I quietly withdraw . Mum is actually more worried about my unmarried status than I. It's not about marrying and having children. Heck, even some mad women have children. For me it is about marrying RIGHT. I don't want to endure marriage, I wanna enjoy it and have peace of mind.

How do I cope with spinsterhood? Well, there's nothing to cope with to start with. I'm single and living my life like the trumpet will sound tomorrow (and it just may so we have to be vigilant), and that suffices. For now [/quote

coogar:

ishilove, you are still young abeg!
didn't you just celebrate your 21st birthday few months ago? there's no pressure for you in comparison to nwapastor. keep living your life like the trumpet will sound tomorrow - you still have about 7 years left to toy with your options.

Lmao! I will be ''21'' next month, Oct 3. I expect a special hamper from you

coogar:

Explain that gif

nwapastor: It might interest you to know that I've not dropped my panties for any man and by God's grace I have no plan of doing that till I say I do. I'm not desperate to get married even if he leaves (God forbid) no problem I'll continue living my life and serving my God till it pleases him to settle me maritally.

As for 'boys' I've passed that level. I move with 'men'.

Just ignore coogar

Mumsy dem need to reduce dis pressure on our sisters,imagine my female colleague's mood just changed today after receiving a call from her mum...reason she just asked her to redeploy to the east that there is no prospective husband in Lagos...She(mum) further said that guys in Lagos are just ndi akalogholi(meaning-bunch of drunks n womanisers),I laffed like i neva did before but seriously they need to tone down the pressure please

Ishilove:
Lmao! I will be ''21'' next month, Oct 3. I expect a special hamper from you

happy birthday in advance....
i shall send 2 hampers & 21 boxes of indomie noodles.

jennykadry:
Explain that gif

just astounded nwapastor is untouched

Many women are single not because they're dating or dated bad men. There are lots of reasons

http://nifemi.blog.com/?p=76

coogar:

just astounded nwapastor is untouched

So Let's say she is untouched. Is it a bad or good thing?

Ishilove:
Personally I feel it is how you present yourself before the world that will determine how you're treated. I might be wrong but I feel the op has complex issues. Apologies to the op but that's vibes I'm getting from her post.

I think so too, she's reading meaning into things that ordinarily mean nuffin. E.g. D crying kids, any mother wld naturally take her child from u once d kid begins to cry so as to hush the child bt d op thinks its because she is single.
@op I think u hv to work on ur issues so u dont hv to 'cope' with married life cos dts when d real wa begins.

Ishilove:
Personally I feel it is how you present yourself before the world that will determine how you're treated. I might be wrong but I feel the op has complex issues. Apologies to the op but that's vibes I'm getting from her post.

On the contrary, I have married men and women working under me at my place of work at the moment and they give me the respect I deserve because they've seen that I have what it takes to head them at that level. Some even use the word 'Mrs' when addressing me (which I correct immediately). But then if you are single, you are single your status in the society notwithstanding. So sometimes when you retire (from your busy lifestyle) you feel it as in sometimes you feel lonely even in the midst of friends. However single get level shaa as someone pointed out earlier, that is why in church I prefer singles fellowship to youth fellowship. 'Cos in youth fellowship you'll find girls' in SS 1 but when it's called singles fellowship that's a higher level and I fit in there more. Sorry I talk about church a lot I'm sure my username explains it small.

Op I perfectly understand how it feels like.
In my case its soo annoying when my interns call me my first name just because am d only single one there. You nid to see the way they almost bow when greeting my married colleague.
This are children that shud be in js3 when I did my internship
It annoys the heck outta me

I jus ignore them till they put miss. In front before I attend to their need.

Is it the society, everybody keeps asking u want u do with money since you are not married. As if single babes don't have need too.
Moreso why tell me how to spend money you didn't help me get!
Mtchewwwww.

Then everybody asking u when are we eating rice as if they don't cook rice in their house.

Telling u how to live your life so u don't chase the men away,don't buy that car, marry first, don't pack to a big house marry first,haa! U want get phd who go marry u?

Ur friends cutting u off when dy marry!! They no get gist for u anymore! That one still dey pain me die!
Its a crzy society out here!!
Abegi!!! It takes the grace not to slap the devil outta some nosy fellows.

Anyway thank God am engaged now!
Lemme do n give them rice to eat n rest !
Den look for anoda single gal to torment like dy did me!!b
Hehehehe#jus kidding#

jennykadry:
So Let's say she is untouched. Is it a bad or good thing?

it's a good thing in nigeria so i am surprised it's taken her this long to get hitched. women like her are hotcakes to naija men. so where did the delay come from?

coogar:

it's a good thing in nigeria so i am surprised it's taken her this long to get hitched. women like her are hotcakes to naija men. so where did the delay come from?

if you were single, would she stand a chance?

jennykadry:

if you were single, would she stand a chance?

nah!
i don't like church girls.

Chomzy19: I think so too, she's reading meaning into things that ordinarily mean nuffin. E.g. D crying kids, any mother wld naturally take her child from u once d kid begins to cry so as to hush the child bt d op thinks its because she is single.
@op I think u hv to work on ur issues so u dont hv to 'cope' with married life cos dts when d real wa begins.

Guess I started off on the negatives (cos I wanted others to share) may be I should let you in on the positive sides too. Those things happen when you are new in a place, if you know what you doing with time people will give you the respect you deserve. As for the children thing one woman once came to ask me how I manage to handle that number of children so calmly every Sunday when the one child she has at home is giving her double wahala. I've headed children Dept in so many churches (work n studies make me relocate often), in some places mothers come to leave their children with me in my own church while they themselves attend another church (guess the other children must have have been talking good about me at home and in the neighborhood). I love children and they always love me too anywhere I go. Most times when I look at them I wish my own child/children were part of them too.

coogar:

nah!
i don't like church girls.

Why do I have a feeling that your kind will end up marrying church girls after sampling the ''unchurch'' girls?

coogar:

nah!
i don't like church girls.

That is one of the reasons why some people like me are still single but its okay I don't think we care.

coogar:

it's a good thing in nigeria so i am surprised it's taken her this long to get hitched. women like her are hotcakes to naija men. so where did the delay come from?

Sometimes it is not ordinary. So as we are addressing the physical reasons for being single let's not forget to handle it spiritually too with prayers.

nwapastor: That is one of the reasons why some people like me are still single but its okay I don't think we care.

Like you, I used to be a church girl Don't mind Coogar, let him continue deceiving himself. Coogar will be the type to install a monitoring sensor on his 23 year old daughter's phone and woe betide that man that will venture to lock lips with her. Someone will end up in ER and I can assure you, it wouldn't be Coogar

jennykadry:
Why do I have a feeling that your kind will end up marrying church girls after sampling the ''unchurch'' girls?

there are some unchurch girls that are as good, if not better than the church girls. they have managed to keep themselves untouched as a matter of personal principle, not because of bornagaism

i just never believed church should be a place to chase girls. i just go to church to worship & get out of there. i think it's a sin(big one) to go into a church with the intention of nailing one of the ladies there.

nwapastor: That is one of the reasons why some people like me are still single but its okay I don't think we care.

if you don't care, why did you make this thread?

jennykadry:
Like you, I used to be a church girl Don't mind Coogar, let him continue deceiving himself. Coogar will be the type to install a monitoring sensor on his 23 year old daughter's phone and woe betide that man that will venture to lock lips with her. Someone will end up in ER and I can assure you, it wouldn't be Coogar

my girls will be free.
shackling a young woman has more cons than pros. majority of those ladies you see in NYSC camps getting hammered on the field are church girls.

coogar:

there are some unchurch girls that are as good, if not better than the church girls. they have managed to keep themselves untouched as a matter of personal principle, not because of bornagaism
.

Ah. This I agree with. But why do some of yous(yes guys) assume that it is done mostly for religious reasons?

I know you have a high libido so Coogar, will you ever be willing to wait for the d day? Cos men like you that are sex starved are like those men that spend 18 hours per week in the gym but end up losing not even a single kilo

i just never believed church should be a place to chase girls. i just go to church to worship & get out of there. i think it's a sin(big one) to go into a church with the intention of nailing one of the ladies there

Wonder no more people. If you are wondering why a good girl like me can love Coogar so much, there you go. The above quote is ya answer

jennykadry:
Ah. This I agree with. But why do some of yous(yes guys) assume that it is done mostly for religious reasons?

because the way the church girls present it. "i am born again, so no sëx until marriage." such statements depress me.

I know you have a high libido so Coogar, will you ever be willing to wait for the d day? Cos men like you that a sex depraved are like those men who spend 18 hours per week in the gym but end up loosing not even a single kilo

why should men wait for the d-day? it's risky on the part of the man. what if i wait & then discover we are not sexually compatible? won't it be too late to kick her out? if there's a reason born again christians have the highest divorce rate in the world, it's because of this issue.