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Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Why Do Nigerian Men Find It Difficult To Forgive A Cheating Wife? / Which Is Worse? A Cheating Or Nagging Wife / Infidelity{how Come Women Forgive Easily,& Men Hardly Forgive?} (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by MizMyColi(f): 10:18am On Oct 08, 2014
goofyone:


Mizz!!! cheesy couldn't stop laughing at the bolded.

grin
I'm trying to be an all rounder. cool
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by iiiyyyk(m): 10:19am On Oct 08, 2014
i can forgive every wrong thing from a wife
but i dont think i can forgive a cheating wife, as much as i will like to do, but i dont think it will be possible.
I won't be able to touch her again.

pls God never allow such thing to come my way.
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Nobody: 10:19am On Oct 08, 2014
bebe2:


Bro r u kidding?

Everything u listed can happen both ways, and I mean everything.

And pls forget this loose virg-ina issue.
Its a myth,

one mans tight is another man's loose shocked

Bebe!

1 Like

Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Toks2008(m): 10:21am On Oct 08, 2014
bebe2:
I kind of see ur point.

Se-x in marriage is sacred like u said.

Most men will never touch the woman again if they find out they slept wit someone else.

Call it pride or watever u like but the fact is wat drives a woman to infidelity is totally different from wat drives a man.

We will all agree that most men think wiy their pe-nis, once the thing done stand something need to bring am down regardless of the consequences. And most times these actions have no emotional involvement.

Buutttt before woman open leg for another man, e don weigh am, calculate am, manipulate am and decide say its worth doing.

And once she try am once, she go hardly stop am. Even science says there is a certain hormone thats secreted during se-x dats imbibes the memory of the man in her for a very very long time.

So which man wants to be competing with dat??

I am in love with you.

I love intellectually sound ladies. A turn on for me. You just sums up everything.Check! check! check! a thousand likes.

This is why i still feel something for my supposed ex because if there is one thing i can bet anything on, its the fact that she is sexually decent and irrespective of what went down between us, i can not accuse her of sexual infidelity and worse still if she is doing it, as long as i have not discovered then it is non and void but the day i find out that a lady cheats on me sexually with another man,no more story, that is a man for you.

2 Likes

Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by MAKLIZ: 10:21am On Oct 08, 2014
A female once told me that if a man cheats, d union is redeemable but if the woman cheats, dat is the end.
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by TayoT: 10:22am On Oct 08, 2014
No 4 pretty much says it all.
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by 50calibre(m): 10:23am On Oct 08, 2014
cococandy:
I wonder what your business is with how I decide to handle a cheating a husband.

All in all my post wasn't telling any lady how to handle her own situation. Infact I don't remember directing my post at ANY lady.

It is simply directed to guys like you who think putting up with a cheating partner because it is more convenient than divorcing is the same thing as forgiveness.(Gullible you would believe that)

I take god beg you,I don't have the energy to be misunderstood today.

Oh I understand!! So you're prescribing un-forgiveness?
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by basille(m): 10:25am On Oct 08, 2014
Truth be told, our society is messed up and full of double standards.
A man cheats, its cool and normal.
A woman cheats, all hell is let lose.
A slūt is a slūt regardless of gender. All consequences should be applied to both parties.

11 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Mintayo(m): 10:25am On Oct 08, 2014
Ugovin:
It takes a devilish and a wicked man not to forgive. if been cheated on,, WHY? Don't Judge Others. (Judge not, and ye shall not be Judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive and ye shall be forgiven (luke6:37) ) as a christian, one of the features of your recreated human Spirit is love, and love doesn't judge or slander others. One day JESUS was sitting somewhere and the jewish leaders and men chased after a woman whom they said was caught in the very act of adultery. So they said to Jesus, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses in the Law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou? This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But JESUS stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not. (John 8:4-6) when JESUS eventually raised his head, He said to the womans accusers ''let the one without sin cast the first Stone'' (john 8:7) but they couldn't. So one after the other, they dropped their stones and left, leaving the woman alone with JESUS. Then JESUS said to her, ( hath no man condemnd thee? She said No man, lord. And JEsUs said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go and sin no more'') John8:10-11) we are to act like JESUS; HE said, "I wouldn't condemn you,go and sin no more." Jesus recognized her sin; Meaning we can recognize when people do something wrong; yet, like JESUS, don't judge them. Love is not all about sex, or making love. There is more to It.
Some set of people in the family section do not believe this. Infact they will tell you that prayer cannot solve the problem,neither can the Bible,such is it that they see divorce as the only option!
I once told a lady that,if my wife cheats on me,i am ready to forgive her as long as she tells me why she did it...maybe there is something that i am not doing right!
Some people don't know what it means to be married or stay married,they don't know what it means to be in love or to love someone!
Well,i guess that is why we are different!

7 Likes

Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Nobody: 10:26am On Oct 08, 2014
Mintayo:

Yinmu,i know your likes. I have been in the family section enough to know what it means!
The same trick some people make," i didnt say this! Where did you see me say that?" they wll even go to the extend of bringing the post!
Don't play ignorance,i am sure you know what gender equality means! Afterall,you all move in the same direction!
Smh again!

Show me where she said so.
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by timawoku(m): 10:27am On Oct 08, 2014
ROSYL:


Bullshit! Did you hear me? That's total bullshit!
tell that to the society...
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Toks2008(m): 10:29am On Oct 08, 2014
iiiyyyk:
i can forgive every wrong thing from a wife
but i dont think i can forgive a cheating wife, as much as i will like to do, but i dont think it will be possible.
I won't be able to touch her again.

pls God never allow such thing to come my way.


Th funniest part is that a man can fall in love with a lady that has slept with all the men in this world but devil help you that after he is married to you or commits his love for you and you MISTAKENLY sleeps with another man, that is the end and you may start wondering if you were a virgin when he met you.

9 Likes

Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Simplicityike: 10:32am On Oct 08, 2014
cheating is cheating' but believe it or not you have said it all,but remember marring a beautiful women is a depth.......i will tell y next time I see you!!!!!!
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Mujinho4b(m): 10:34am On Oct 08, 2014
Hard o... Imagining anoda person d**k in ya Babe or wife P**sy... I no fit o... undecided
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Toks2008(m): 10:37am On Oct 08, 2014
Mintayo:

Some set of people in the family section do not believe this. Infact they will tell you that prayer cannot solve the problem,neither can the Bible,such is it that they see divorce as the only option!
I once told a lady that,if my wife cheats on me,i am ready to forgive her as long as she tells me why she did it...maybe there is something that i am not doing right!
Some people don't know what it means to be married or stay married,they don't know what it means to be in love or to love someone!
Well,i guess that is why we are different!


I can see you are not getting it and i pray you never find yourself in this situation.

Its easy to lip talk but when faced with the harsh reality you will understand.

Its not in the forgiveness bu the problem lies in the memory. Of-course i can forgive my wife of sexual infidelity but trust me, it cant be the same again.

When i make love to her afterwards i will start thinking, was it that i was not good enough? Could it be that the other guy did it better, even if i handle her bosoms i will start imagining how the other guy sucked it and .. honestly its a terrible thing.

Kudos to GOD on the way he wired ladies that are just ok sharing a man with another woman when a man cant even stand the imagination of his woman been caressed by another man.

And please understand this, the worst one is when you catch her in the act,chai! the picture will never erase from your brain till you grow old and die. you may still get over hear say or her confession.

1 Like

Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Mintayo(m): 10:39am On Oct 08, 2014
carefreewannabe:


Show me where she said so.
sorry,i can't help you if you are not smart enough to deduce that!
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Nobody: 10:41am On Oct 08, 2014
Mintayo:

sorry,i can't help you if you are smart enough to deduce that!

From which post did you deduce your statement?

2 Likes

Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by LaRoyalHighness(f): 10:42am On Oct 08, 2014
Lesson learnt
ochon:
The simple truth is, women are the reason why society frowns badly at women cheating, while they moderately condemn men's cheating.

I said so because, while the society is to be blamed for such laws/norms INITIALLY, women of this age should've emancipated themselves from such mental slavery and refuse to stand a cheating partner. If the women don't stop tolerating cheating men, the status quo will never be changed. The situation favours us, men, and hell will freeze over before they relinquish such rights to the women.

At the end of the day, it's even the women that supports such norms. For example, women are quick to call their fellow cheating women, "slùts," but when they tag cheating men "bad boys" "ladies men" "playas" Etc. Some women will say, "I don't care if my husband is sleeping around, as long he doesn't bring them inside my house, I'm okay". WTF!! This is the highest form of low self-esteem. Some women takes their stupidity to a greater level by publicly fighting with the mistress of their lover. No shame whatsoever!! They fight and kill each other while the cheating man is allowed to sit back and laugh at their madness.

So until women say enough is enough, society will keep allowing men to walk away with cheating while they get scolded and called slùts.

I'm not claiming to be a saint that has never cheated, I'm just saying, just like I as man will hardly forgive a cheating woman, such treatment should be meted out to me if I cheat on my woman, shikena.
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Mintayo(m): 10:42am On Oct 08, 2014
Toks2008:



I can see you are not getting it and i pray you never find yourself in this situation.

Its easy to lip talk but when faced with the harsh reality you will understand.

Its not in the forgiveness bu the problem lies in the memory. Of-course i can forgive my wife of sexual infidelity but trust me, it cant be the same again.

When i make love to her afterwards i will start thinking, was it that i was not good enough? Could it be that the other guy did it better, even if i handle her bosoms i will start imagining how the other guy sucked it and .. honestly its a terrible thing.

Kudos to GOD on the way he wired ladies that are just ok sharing a man with another woman when a man cant even stand the imagination of his woman been caressed by another man.

And please understand this, the worst one is when you catch her in the act,chai! the picture will never erase from your brain till you grow old and die. you may still get over hear say or her confession.
i understand you perfectly, my point is cheating shouldn't be the reason for a "home" to be destroyed!
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by biggmusty(m): 10:42am On Oct 08, 2014
bebe2:
I kind of see ur point.

Se-x in marriage is sacred like u said.

Most men will never touch the woman again if they find out they slept wit someone else.

Call it pride or watever u like but the fact is wat drives a woman to infidelity is totally different from wat drives a man.

We will all agree that most men think wiy their pe-nis, once the thing done stand something need to bring am down regardless of the consequences. And most times these actions have no emotional involvement.

Buutttt before woman open leg for another man, e don weigh am, calculate am, manipulate am and decide say its worth doing.

And once she try am once, she go hardly stop am. Even science says there is a certain hormone thats secreted during se-x dats imbibes the memory of the man in her for a very very long time.

So which man wants to be competing with dat??
tank u ma sister u jux successfully copy nd paste ma mind... We no fit stand cheating gf talk more of cheating wife

1 Like

Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Mintayo(m): 10:44am On Oct 08, 2014
carefreewannabe:


From which post did you deduce your statement?
Pls go back and read her post and some stop playing the blind game!
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by biggmusty(m): 10:46am On Oct 08, 2014
kokotango:
Very simple pls answer this when a man chats on his wife what name is given to him .......... And when a woman chats on her husband a name is given to her ...........
baddest nigga nd ashawo respectively
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by 50calibre(m): 10:46am On Oct 08, 2014
Some people talk like cheating carries the same weight for both man & woman. It doesn't!!

A cheating wife (even once) is like fortress with a compromised structural integrity, like a bag that has been ransacked, like a home that has been burgled, I will never feel safe with that person anymore. Never!!

Men are different, when they cheat, they intrude, but women get intruded, I consider that a violation of my property.

The mere thought of another man intruding on what is mine, is enough to drive me nuts

3 Likes

Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by lawkie77(m): 10:47am On Oct 08, 2014
cheat on me and death will be faithful to you,shikena
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Nobody: 10:48am On Oct 08, 2014
hardbody:


Just like mine. The man immediately starts a downhill slide to put him on enquiry so that the woman is dealt with. But if he the man turns a blind eye, his fortunes will close down and he will die mysteriously. Little wonder some of our ladies forbid to marry from home and we the guys think twice before marrying a non indigene. And yes i am from Arochukwu kingdom.
Abia state right?
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by braine(m): 10:48am On Oct 08, 2014
Tallesty1:
Before I start this, I want to make it clear that I'm not a sexist.

People say it is a man's world, and honestly, it is. I will show you how.

Nature gave us some bonus and women gave their support. Even if a man forgives a cheating wife, the women(society) will not.

Here are the few reasons some men find it difficult to forgive a cheating wife(They are what I heard men say. I didn't author some of them)

1: EGO:- It certainly has alot to do with their ego being bruised. The thought that another man was able to sleep with Someone they believed they had "ownership" of breaks them to pieces as most of them think the women incapable of sex without emotions, meaning the woman loves another. Remember men are like a lioness that can kill most animals for its cubs but will not allow another animal to even play with its cubs.

2: GUILT:- If a woman cheats, the man will never forgive not only the woman but himself no matter whose fault it is. He feels he has failed as a man to protect and keep his own.

3: THEY CAN'T FORGET:- When a man is making love with his wife, it is a sacred rituals the way she moan shows that his sacrifice has been accepted. So if she makes love with another man he will be thinking the temple is no more sacred and when he make love to her and she moan, it will be disgusting cause it will be like that is the way she moaned for the other guy! ..

4: YOU HAVE LOST HER IF SHE CHEATS:- Female infidelity is often much more damaging to a marriage. Don’t get me wrong: Male cheating is definitely harmful. But when a woman fools around, it’s often the beginning of the end of the relationship. For men, cheating often tends to be opportunistic—they’re in the wrong place at the wrong time and the cheating doesn’t necessarily mean anything emotionally. In fact a man can sleep with a woman today and not remember her again but for a woman to have sex with you(in most cases)you must win her heart to win her body.

5: HE PAID YOUR PRICE:- I guess i gotta be blunt here. I know we call it marriage but I think women are being bought in a way. Don't kill me yet, let's analyze it. He buys engagement ring. Proposes to you, you accept then he decides to see your people. Your people accept him and give him a list containing heaven and earth. He agrees to pay, he pays for everything and when your parents feel they have collected enough, they hand you over to him. Then you automatically change your name(Change of ownership) which confirms that you are now his own.

I have seen where women sponsored their marriage and the men don't care when they cheatcheesy soI believe the day you stop asking for head-cutting bride price for us to marry then we won't bother much, imagine paying all that money and she gives it to another man..

On a serious note. A cheat is a cheat and you can't quantify cheating. Who is cheating doesn't matter. Stay Faithful


Ikr

1 Like

Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Nobody: 10:50am On Oct 08, 2014
pickabeau1:


Can you explain the correlation between cheating in a marriage and gender equality
I get the relation to equal opportunities, education, jobs, access to property.


*sigh* She said the society condones a man cheating but frowns at a woman cheating. Polygamy is legal for males by omission while polyandry isn't even a concept that is recognized.

Gender equality: refers to the view that men and women should receive equal treatment, and should not be discriminated against based on gender.

Gender equality is not suppose to be ignored in social institutions.

1 Like

Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by timawoku(m): 10:50am On Oct 08, 2014
carefreewannabe:


From which post did you deduce your statement?
I don't think you should used the word 'deduce', use 'dedunce' instead, it suits better...
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Nobody: 10:50am On Oct 08, 2014
ayodeji752:
delta father and ekiti mother. Born and livin on yoruba land but my dad told us alot abt d culture in d village and he took us there twice
OK.
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by Tallesty1(m): 10:54am On Oct 08, 2014
MzMariah:
You just reminded me of a culture in my village. If a man cheats on his wife it has no side effect but if a woman cheats (sleeps with another man) then she is as good as dead if she doesn't confess and have the necessary sacrifice done. She go just die like chicken.

We all are hoping and praying for the best sha, nobody wants a cheating partner.
Wow!


I thought it was only nature that gave us some bonus.

So culture sef follow favour usgrin
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by biggmusty(m): 10:54am On Oct 08, 2014
BananaBender:


It can change, starting from you. Change your mindset, you are only thinking like the product of the society you grew up in. One way to do that, is by encouraging and teaching gender equality in social institutions.
u mean say make woman start ashawo... No p na so so bastar.d go full every corner. Una sha won turn oyinbo by fire by force #WeAreAfricansNotOyinboSluts respect culture woman ur body na temple.. If every woman catch body no man go see woman cheat wif
Re: Why Naija Men Hardly Forgive A Cheating Partner. by chesterlee(m): 10:54am On Oct 08, 2014
Its not easy to forget joor...Catching another man bleeping your wifey (mother of your kids)...Damn!!! Its hard to Forgive!

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