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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's (18540 Views)
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Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by Mutaino7(m): 9:57am On Oct 17, 2014 |
*I dhey fear 4 future marriages* this generation get has im b... Please what is the use of (nee) when mentioning a woman's name.. Lemme ask diz question if ur husby happens to b an affluent personality lets say like dangote cousin, adenuga or obasanjo are u still going to stick to ur fathers name.. |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by Nobody: 10:08am On Oct 17, 2014 |
Chiamaka01:But, but, the man also had a life before marriage. He's charged with the responsibility of provision and protection of his wife and family where he only had to provide for and protect himself. There's nothing denigrating to women about the man as head of household. His responsibilities give him the privilege to be the boss. That is the truth. And what's all this patriachy business. The patriachy, historically, hasn't been unfair to women, on the contrary, it has been beneficial to women. I'd advise you to speak about the patriachy with respect. I'd have you know though, as far as objectifying women is concerned, feminism is to blame for that. This is why: we no longer need women for anything but sex. The modern man can cook his meals, do his laundry, etc. The only thing he literally needs from a woman is sex. Sorry, that's the truth. You people objectified yourselves. 5 Likes |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by Nobody: 10:15am On Oct 17, 2014 |
Chiamaka01:Therefore, he moves to his in laws house since the bible does not require the woman to leave her own parents. |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by Nobody: 10:17am On Oct 17, 2014 |
freshdude2: But but the man is not asked to change his name, is he? And what's all this patriachy business. The patriachy, historically, hasn't been unfair to women, on the contrary, it has been beneficial to women. I'd advise you to speak about the patriachy with respect. How has it been beneficial to women? I'd have you know though, as far as objectifying women is concerned, feminism is to blame for that. This is why: we no longer need women for anything but sex. The modern man can cook his meals, do his laundry, etc. The only thing he literally needs from a woman is sex. Sorry, that's the truth. You people objectified yourselves. Would you also say that women do not need men when they have their own money? 2 Likes |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by Nobody: 10:24am On Oct 17, 2014 |
Hyphenating both names is better. That way it is easier to drop the husband's name after a divorce. 3 Likes |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by Nobody: 10:25am On Oct 17, 2014 |
But why marry? Why go through the stress of the ceremony and all. Why bother? You can visit your love interest and vice versa, have children, it's a current reality. No need living under the same roof. You can easily keep your name when you're single. |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by pickabeau1: 10:27am On Oct 17, 2014 |
freshdude2: Exactly I'm still waiting for the OP response I think we should agree marriage should be proscribed so we can move on from this embattled level. |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by Nobody: 10:31am On Oct 17, 2014 |
crackhaus, Since there's no point either way, let the woman decide what she wants. Problem solved. 5 Likes |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by Nobody: 10:36am On Oct 17, 2014 |
carefreewannabe:But he's asked to do more work. The word husband, historically, loosely translates to "housebond". He keeps the family a unit not the woman. This is done through the man setting the family up and providing the resources to keep the family healthy. carefree: How has it been beneficial to women?for one, it has placed women on a pedestal and protected them from physical requirements of life. The men in a patriachy actually served the women and as a result were given certain privileges as incentives to perform their societally-defined roles. carefree: Would you also say that women do not need men when they have their own money?women don't need men actually because they have become their own man. But you don't hear men complaining of being objectified. If anything, the average man wants to be a sex object. 2 Likes |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by Nobody: 10:39am On Oct 17, 2014 |
pickabeau1:Yes bawse. Apparently, there's no need to get married. It just so happens I'm in the mood to give lectures. So, gather round children, Uncle Freshdude is in a good mood. |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by Nobody: 10:40am On Oct 17, 2014 |
[quote author=freshdude2 post=27215097]Therefore, he moves to his in laws house since the bible does require the woman to leave her own parents. [/quote] The Bible can be viewed from various perspectives. If that's yours, then, fine. |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by pickabeau1: 10:40am On Oct 17, 2014 |
Chiamaka01:Still waiting for your response... pickabeau1: |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by pickabeau1: 10:40am On Oct 17, 2014 |
freshdude2: LOL.. |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by Nobody: 10:43am On Oct 17, 2014 |
@pickabeau1, Marriage is more or less a partnership to me. Mutual love and understanding between two adults is the first step. The next step is the decision to live together and how they decide to that will be agreed on by the both of them. |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by Nobody: 10:44am On Oct 17, 2014 |
Chiamaka01:You're not as slippery as you think. You said following biblical teaching the man was the one asked to leave his parents and cleave to his wife; I simply expanded YOUR line of thought. If the wife wasn't required to leave her parents and cleave to her husband why leave her parents. If the husband truly follows biblical teaching he should cleave to his wife where she is(note: this is what you implied). Be decent enough not to attempt to turn it around on me. 1 Like |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by pickabeau1: 10:45am On Oct 17, 2014 |
Chiamaka01: ok.. fair enough.... this works too |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by Nobody: 10:48am On Oct 17, 2014 |
Chiamaka01:Marriage is a partnership but there is a senior partner who is usually the man, yes I said it. But a quick question. Would you get married to a man who, after marriage, wanted to live at a different location from you and you'd only see on weekends? Would you advise any woman to agree to such a deal? |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by Nobody: 10:50am On Oct 17, 2014 |
@freshdude2, I never implied that, i meant to prove that there is no biblical basis for the woman to adopt the man's identity. |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by femu(m): 10:52am On Oct 17, 2014 |
Chiamaka01: Not adopting your husband's name might have potential legal implications incase of will, estate administration or divorce. when all your documents show no obvious relationship with your husband you will have a lot of proving to do. Also if your husband is a famous or well to do man am sure you will eagerly embrace the name change. |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by Nobody: 10:52am On Oct 17, 2014 |
freshdude2: Who asks him to do more work? And how does he do more work? I don't agree that the husband is the one who keeps the family a unit. It takes two to tango. Besides, women have always helped to provide the resources to keep the family healthy, too. They also worked on farms. They also collected food. They cooked. for one, it has placed women on a pedestal and protected them from physical requirements of life. The men in a patriachy actually served the women and as a result were given certain privileges as incentives to perform their societally-defined roles. Women served men too but were not given any privileges or at least not to the degree men were and this is the problem. women don't need men actually because they have become their own man. But you don't hear men complaining of being objectified. If anything, the average man wants to be a sex object. You are right, many women don't need men to take care of them but this does not mean that they don't need men at all. If the average man wants to be a s*ex objet then it is his free choice. Let him work on it. Where is the problem? |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by Nobody: 10:54am On Oct 17, 2014 |
@freshdude2, My understanding of that verse is that a man should not allow his family( the one he came out from) to interfere with the one he formed. I don't mean that they shouldn't visit or anything. And don't quote me to turn this around. |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by Nobody: 10:56am On Oct 17, 2014 |
@femu, Re-read the topic. I will adopt his name but it's not going to replace my surname. |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by Nobody: 10:57am On Oct 17, 2014 |
Chiamaka01:Yet, I bible times families were identified by their patriachs? Even God referred to families by the name of their patraichs, eg, House of David, House of Jacob, Tribe of blah blah blah. House of Mary abi House of Ruth dey ya own bible. Abi House of David and Bathsheba, or Hose of Abraham and Sarah? |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by Nobody: 10:59am On Oct 17, 2014 |
carefreewannabe Exactly. 1 Like |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by destante(f): 11:00am On Oct 17, 2014 |
it is never a bad thing. it is good for families who gave birth to girls only and intend to preserve the fathers name. And like some people already posited, its good to get the husbands consent first. |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by femu(m): 11:00am On Oct 17, 2014 |
Chiamaka01: whatever case understand the potential social, cultural and legal implications. things can happen...... |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by Nobody: 11:02am On Oct 17, 2014 |
[quote author=freshdude2 post=27216208]Yet, I bible times families were identified by their patriachs? Even God referred to families by the name of their patraichs, eg, House of David, House of Jacob, Tribe of blah blah blah. House of Mary abi House of Ruth dey ya own bible. Abi House of David and Bathsheba, or Hose of Abraham and Sarah?[/quote] Okay, you're right. But there is no compulsion to adopt your husband's name, biblically. |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by crackhaus: 11:03am On Oct 17, 2014 |
Chiamaka01:Buahahahahahaha.. This right here is why I can't take some of you females on here seriously. So now all of a sudden, a married woman can decide on her own what name she wants to bear huh? Is the man now also allowed to keep late nights out with his mistress or guy friends since it doesn't matter whether he comes home early or late, as long as he still comes home? Never mind, don't answer that...I already know what a truly married and dedicated woman would say. Peculiar to females like you on our beautiful NL, always twisting the rules to suit you when necessary. If not for the anonymity of the internet, it's girls like you that will hurriedly change their surname to show off proof of marriage to single friends and everyone else y'all care to show off for. I'm outta here, you ain't serious.. 2 Likes |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by warrior01: 11:05am On Oct 17, 2014 |
Chiamaka01:I read all that you said but get one thing right; there's nothing like equal partners in marriage. The setting up of every family unit starts with the man proposing to all other marriage rights. More so, nature has assigned the genders roles that are to be played by the man or the woman involved. Anything apart from that doesn't just work. |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by crackhaus: 11:06am On Oct 17, 2014 |
destante:Will the children of girls from such families bear their maternal grandfather's name? Will the name not still end? Think about it... |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by destante(f): 11:08am On Oct 17, 2014 |
crackhaus:Lol true. One thing I never thought of. |
Re: On Ladies Hyphenating Their Surnames And Their Husband's by pickabeau1: 11:10am On Oct 17, 2014 |
Just a thought to add to the mix OP Why the obsession to keep the fathers name? He is still a man anyway,,,, the father is just the known patriarch since porting to the new patriarch's name seems to be the issue. Why not change the mix.. invent a new name to break from the tradition To show uniqueness, sophistication and class Heck,... why do we stop there.. lets choose names as we see fit and change them periodically like the moon crackhaus: Oh,,, why did u spoil the whole thing.. Lets look at their preferred scenario So Alex Osifo marries Patience Ozokwor; she becomes Patience Ozokwor-Osifo(to maintain her fathers lineage) So Chiamaka01.. if the child is called Peter Will he named Peter Osifo or Peter Ozokwor-Osifo which... |
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