Chiamaka01:
@freshdude2,

That's why i said it's a partnership, i won't agree and all these things would have been trashed before getting married. It's a two-way thing, if he doesn't allow me to bear my surname and his, he can take a walk.

pickabeau1:


so which names will the kids bear

The husband name or the hyphenated name

Chiamaka01:


The husband's name.

pickabeau1:


ok.. good.. so in one generation the so called father's name (still named after a man mind u ) will still disappear

freshdude2:

women don't need men actually because they have become their own man. But you don't hear men complaining of being objectified. If anything, the average man wants to be a sex object.

Chiamaka01:


Is this a battle of the sexes now? LOL. He's my father and i love him and i want to bear his name till the day i die. End of story.

carefreewannabe:


Who asks him to do more work? And how does he do more work?
I don't agree that the husband is the one who keeps the family a unit. It takes two to tango.
Besides, women have always helped to provide the resources to keep the family healthy, too. They also worked on farms. They also collected food. They cooked.

pickabeau: Women served men too but were not given any privileges or at least not to the degree men were and this is the problem.

carefree: You are right, many women don't need men to take care of them but this does not mean that they don't need men at all.
If the average man wants to be a s*ex objet then it is his free choice. Let him work on it. Where is the problem?

pickabeau1:

Oh,,, why did u spoil the whole thing..
Lets look at their preferred scenario

So Alex Osifo marries Patience Ozokwor; she becomes Patience Ozokwor-Osifo(to maintain her fathers lineage)
So Chiamaka01.. if the child is called Peter

Will he named Peter Osifo or Peter Ozokwor-Osifo

which...

pickabeau1:



No its not... as i said earlier

You are hustling to keep one man;s name which to me in the principle of anti-patriarchy is warped

freshdude2:

Women helped in extremely rare instances, where the man was unable to provide. That was the exception not the rule/norm. No be today wey women get more opportunities pass men sef.

Who did women serve? How did they serve the society? Were they required to protect the society with their lives like men were? How about we flip it? You go to war I tend the kids. I'd say that's
unfair to me.

You should need men for their testoterone becauser that's what makes us manly but these days testoterone is disdained.

We are told be in touch with our feminine side, that's good, but we shouldn't be effeminate.

We are men we should be manly.

Now you only need men for sex, you're all strong women you don't really need men that's the truth.

And we're cool with that. What we have a problem with is saying you need us but still require us to do things you can't do and call us insensitive for telling you to fvck off.

Chiamaka01:
@freshdude2,

That's why i said it's a partnership, i won't agree and all these things would have been trashed before getting married. It's a two-way thing, if he doesn't allow me to bear my surname and his, he can take a walk.

Chiamaka01:


Do you bear your father's name or surname? Do you want your wife and kids to bear it? If yes, does this imply that you are an extension of your dad?

Chiamaka01:


Okay, you're right. But there is no compulsion to adopt your husband's name, biblically.

pickabeau1:


ok.. good.. so in one generation the so called father's name (still named after a man mind u ) will still disappear

LOL

crackhaus, freshdude2
please lets allow them to have the name. It will fizzle out sooner..
The children still bear the man's name

Chiamaka01:


Do you bear your father's name or surname? Do you want your wife and kids to bear it? If yes, does this imply that you are an extension of your dad?

1. stretching, expansion, enlargement, increase, dilation. 3. lengthening, protraction, continuation. 4. delay. 6. limit.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/extension

freshdude2:
Well, the society demanded it and it never caused any problems.

freshdude2:
It might or might not fizzle out. I'm just trying to help some misguided souls, younger men especially.

crackhaus:



The child will bear Peter Ozokwor-Osifo whether their father likes it or not...the Ozokwor family name must not die.

Chiamaka01:


Things like

freshdude2:
Valentine gifts, engagement and wedding rings, general financial provision, "spoiling you", chivalry, treating you like a woman(yet you behave like men) the list is endless, and the hypocrisy nauseating.

pickabeau1:

I bear his surname
They will bear it proudly
I am an extension of his.. yes
Because I am doing things he was not able to do.. i am continuing what he stopped

Gerrit?

Chiamaka01:


Thank you for that. We're all extensions of our parents, agreed. But i am not an extension of my husband.

Chiamaka01:


Yes, except if we're in a situation that warrants otherwise. That's how an ideal family should be so that the children can be raised properly by the two parents.

pickabeau1:


Hmmm.... you have a point
But its not really about the name.. its the interplay of will and compromise

carefreewannabe:


Sorry but I don't see how I need anything of what you have mentioned.

freshdude2:
Those are eXamples of chivalry. Do you require your man to be chivalrous or not?

carefreewannabe:


Chivalrous

(of men)

polite, kind and behaving with honour, especially towards women

http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/chivalrous

Yes, I want a polite, kind men who behaves with honor but I don't need him to spend money on me to do so.
By the way, I want everybody to behave in such a way towards others, men and women.

Don't you want a kind, polite woman who behaves with honor?