Mondisweets:
yet your likes PM these frustrated feminists day in day out

Lol!

Na wa o! I've even got one breathing fire cos I ignored his PM request. Now the guy claims to be disappointed in / with / for me!

Na today?

meine:
I pity your husband and the unmarried girls who listen to this rebellious counsel. So if the guy starts cheating , it's his body right? And who are you to question whether the OP reconciles with her wife within 12 hours? If you don't believe his story, can't you ignore his thread?. Your ITK is irritating. Book ko , jotter ni.

OP such issues can bring paranoia in men especially if there are trust issues between both of you. Kindly sit your wife down to a matured discussion and understand her fears. Find a compromise at the end.

I feel that ideally, the situation should've been discussed but I can't fathom how it's grounds for feelings of betrayal IMO. Anyone care to explain?

So, if a woman is not ready to have yet another child (for whatever reason), should she:

A) Become celibate and/or deprive her partner of sex.

B) Use a form of BC.

C) Willfully risk pregnancy, and have a child anyhow by force & against her better judgement/will.

Which of these makes sense to you?

Godmystrength:
na network o.. will check now how body?

We love you loads sweetheart never forget that

aisha2:


We love you loads sweetheart never forget that

Godmystrength:

Please can you help me with this??

Well depends on why she doesnt want another child.
If it is financial concerns I am very realistic If we cant afford another child then we shouldnt bring it into the world under the guise of " God will provide" I no gree. Till things are sorted out I dont advice more kids. What i wont advice is sneaking, the wife lets the husband know with good reason that more kids are not the ideal at that point and inform him of any treatment she intends to take.

Sometimes its unrealistic to insist on having kids when so many issues are not sorted out properly. Adukts shouldn't bring kids into a mess and feel that kids will sort out their mess for them

No offense,.. madam


I think it will be better on this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/1984187/happily-married-man-family-section

Godmystrength:


Please can you help me with this?? (sorry for quoting you all.... Just need some answers)

aisha2:


Well depends on why she doesnt want another child.
If it is financial concerns I am very realistic If we cant afford another child then we shouldnt bring it into the world under the guise of " God will provide" I no gree. Till things are sorted out I dont advice more kids. What i wont advice is sneaking, the wife lets the husband know with good reason that more kids are not the ideal at that point and inform him of any treatment she intends to take.

Sometimes its unrealistic to insist on having kids when so many issues are not sorted out properly. Adukts shouldn't bring kids into a mess and feel that kids will sort out their mess for them

so after informing and hubby still gives no consent, then what next?? This is my own main question

pickabeau1:
No offense,.. madam


I think it will be better on this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/1984187/happily-married-man-family-section

okay sir

Godmystrength:
okay sir

No problem...

Godmystrength:
so after informing and hubby still gives no consent, then what next?? This is my own main question

I'd say it def helps to discuss wants/needs/hopes prior to engagement and marriage.

Godmystrength .. i get ur point of view..
thats nt the issue.

its the man we r advising at this time.
helping him realise communication is d key to any smooth marriage.

he should sort things out with his wife.. reason with her, share her fears and see the issue of having more kids from her own standpoint.


its nt a case of blaming anyone here.. its better to proffer solutions

kilokeys:
Godmystrength .. i get ur point of view..
thats nt the issue.

its the man we r advising at this time.
helping him realise communication is d key to any smooth marriage.

he should sort things out with his wife.. reason with her, share her fears and see the issue of having more kids from her own standpoint.


its nt a case of blaming anyone here.. its better to proffer solutions

I was asking a serious question and not sharing any point of view o. Just decided to ask it here because of the discussions going on here. My question has nothing to do with the OP @ all

EnlightenedSoul:


I'd say it def helps to discuss wants/needs/hopes prior to engagement and marriage.

Some things just don't go as planned.. e.g 1.couple have decided and agreed before marriage to have 2 children regardless of their sex, after marriage, they have 2 girls and now hubby wants a boy, or they have 2 boys and wife wants a girl?
2. They decided to have 2 children with 3 years spacing, after first child is 3, hubby wants to try for another and wifey seeing that they have hardly been able to feed the one they already have and afraid of adding more problems wants them to wait a little more? there are so many examples like that.....

Godmystrength:
I was asking a serious question and not sharing any point of view o. Just decided to ask it here because of the discussions going on here. My question has nothing to do with the OP @ all

i got carried away.. that's a tough one o.

i wouldnt advise her to. i would rather hope they have their issues resolved by communication.
ill advise intending couples to have a mutual person they respect. that could help out on issues like this when they can't come to an agreement on thier own.

Godmystrength:
so after informing and hubby still gives no consent, then what next?? This is my own main question

The woman is the only one who can decide the next step for herself. The two available optiona are to obey and have a child that they may not be ready for and feel guilty everytime the child has a need that cant be met or decide to be on birth control without the consent of the spouse and deal with an angry bitter spouse

kilokeys:

i got carried away.. that's a tough one o.

i wouldnt advise her to. i would rather hope they have their issues resolved by communication.
ill advise intending couples to have a mutual person they respect. that could help out on issues like this when they can't come to an agreement on thier own.

And while they are at it, wife not on any birth control method, hubby not wanting to use condom, wife can't deny hubby of sex and then viola!!!! she gets pregnant.... so what next??

Godmystrength:
Some things just don't go as planned.. e.g 1.couple have decided and agreed before marriage to have 2 children regardless of their sex, after marriage, they have 2 girls and now hubby wants a boy, or they have 2 boys and wife wants a girl?
2. They decided to have 2 children with 3 years spacing, after first child is 3, hubby wants to try for another and wifey seeing that they have hardly been able to feed the one they already have and afraid of adding more problems wants them to wait a little more? there are so many examples like that.....

Fair point. I can see how it could become a problem. The mere thought of 'straying from the script' is kinda freakin' me out tbh lol. I'll be watching...

EfemenaXY:


Easy with the insults Kilokeys. I'm in a good mood right now so I'll let it pass.

Now, as per you unfollowing me, like seriously man? You think I care? Come to think of it, I remember asking you to do that over a year ago. I also care less for your opinion of me. I don't post to make friends or garnier likes, so deal with it, okay?

And pls don't take it personal but the feeling is mutual. Now stop embarrassing yourself on my behalf and just go away.

Slam the door shut on your way out. Thanks.

is ur husband happy?

are u happily married?

u come here, nag/rant all day..

u r a terrible person.
am i suprised a nag remembers trivial issues of months ago?.. nah.. its innate
i post to make friends, socialize.. why r u here?.. to make enemies and steam off?

very sad.
i asked u not to quote me..
i knew u would nver listen to instructions.

Godmystrength:
And while they are at it, wife not on any birth control method, hubby not wanting to use condom, wife can't deny hubby of sex and then viola!!!! she gets pregnant.... so what next??

hehehe she should do what seems best to her o.
i wouldnt air my opinion on that issue.

she gats to do what she gats to do (sic).

EnlightenedSoul:


I feel that ideally, the situation should've been discussed but I can't fathom how it's grounds for feelings of betrayal IMO. Anyone care to explain?

So, if a woman is not ready to have yet another child (for whatever reason), should she:

A) Become celibate and/or deprive her partner of sex.

B) Use a form of BC.

C) Willfully risk pregnancy, and have a child anyhow by force & against her better judgement/will.

Which of these makes sense to you?

Well, depends on which part of the divide you're on .

mygeeZ:
Am married with two female kids. Was suprised to find out that my wife uses Postinor 2 without my consent.
I feel betrayed. Am just thinking of giving her 3yrs break.

I think P2 is emergency contraception and shouldn't be taken more than a few times in a month.

Its easy for us to condemn her after hearing just your side of the story.

How old are your daughters? Have you been pressuring her for a boy? Remember...she had girls because YOU put them in there.

kilokeys:


is ur husband happy?

are u happily married?

u come here, nag/rant all day..

u r a terrible person.
am i suprised a nag remembers trivial issues of months ago?.. nah.. its innate
i post to make friends, socialize.. why r u here?.. to make enemies and steam off?

very sad.
i asked u not to quote me..
i knew u would nver listen to instructions.

Shut up, Kilokeys.

I understand you're pretty miffed because I ignored your PM abi "friend request".

Now I'm unhappy outside of Nairaland??

You're a joker.

Godmystrength:
Please i need answer for this.. Thank you.

If her reason 4 not wanting anoda child now is genuine and hubby isn't on her side after plenty talks, Omo she gats to protect herself ohh

BuddhaPalm:


Well, depends on which part of the divide you're on .

Unless I ignorantly walked into the thread of a devout Catholic, you can color me lost.

EnlightenedSoul:


Unless I ignorantly walked into the thread of a devout Catholic, you can color me lost.

I'm Catholic but that's no excuse to breed like rabbits.

EfemenaXY:


I'm Catholic but that's no excuse to breed like rabbits.

Sorry! I didn't mean to offend, of course. But I do know that some people abstain from family planning, and BC due to religious reasons. I couldn't think of any other plausible cause for a 'divide'.

aisha2:


Well depends on why she doesnt want another child.
If it is financial concerns I am very realistic If we cant afford another child then we shouldnt bring it into the world under the guise of " God will provide" I no gree. Till things are sorted out I dont advice more kids. What i wont advice is sneaking, the wife lets the husband know with good reason that more kids are not the ideal at that point and inform him of any treatment she intends to take.

Sometimes its unrealistic to insist on having kids when so many issues are not sorted out properly. Adukts shouldn't bring kids into a mess and feel that kids will sort out their mess for them

So true. A close friend of mine got pregnant recently( she has a toddler already) and from d moment she told me I knew it won't go down well wth her hubby cos thns are so hard for them right now. She lost her job and doing everything possible to get anoda, then hubby's company isn't doing well @ all. Hubby almost slapped her when she said God will provide. It caused so much tension btw dem but Finally sha it was aborted.

Wendy80:


So true. A close friend of mine got pregnant recently( she has a toddler already) and from d moment she told me I knew it won't go down well wth her hubby cos thns are so hard for them right now. She lost her job and doing everything possible to get anoda, then hubby's company isn't doing well @ all. Hubby almost slapped her when she said God will provide. It caused so much tension btw dem but Finally sha it was aborted.

Are they considering birth control now?

EnlightenedSoul:


Are they considering birth control now?

Yes oh cos she was asking for d different birthcontrol last week

EnlightenedSoul:


Sorry! I didn't mean to offend, of course. But I do know that some people abstain from family planning, and BC due to religious reasons. I couldn't think of any other plausible cause for a 'divide'.

None taken dear.

I get where you're coming from and was pointing out that even Catholics practice birth control. It's down to common sense jor. An irresponsible couple will be irresponsible, religious faith or not.

EfemenaXY:


Shut up, Kilokeys.

I understand you're pretty miffed because I ignored your PM abi "friend request".

Now I'm unhappy outside of Nairaland??

You're a joker.

i knew u were crazy from d onset.. as a dark humored person myself.. i found ur sarcasms funny..
i knew u were married.. and i just wanted a closer rapport. normal as it sounds.. i dont regret sending u a PM neither am i ashamed.
i have friends all over the word. i enjoy relationships, i have gotten used to rejection, no hard feelings.

i just didnt know the venom was rooted deep in ur soul.

i see through u now.. this isnt just superficial humor..
u r dark on the inside.. and miserable and sad
gosh.. u make me feel unhappy, i wonder how many more u touch with ur curse.
i see through you. its very unfortunate.

Wendy80:


Yes oh cos she was asking for d different birthcontrol last week

That's good. I was worried about the idea of continued abortion becoming a means of BC is all.

kilokeys:


i knew u were crazy from d onset.. as a dark humored person myself.. i found ur sarcasms funny..
i knew u were married.. and i just wanted a closer rapport. normal as it sounds.. i dont regret sending u a PM neither am i ashamed.
i have friends all over the word. i enjoy friendships, i have gotten used to rejection, no hard feelings.

i just didnt know the venom was rooted deep in ur soul.

i see through u now.. this isnt just superficial humor..
u r dark on the inside.. and miserable and sad
gosh.. u make me feel unhappy, i wonder how many more u touch with ur curse.
i see through you. its very unfortunate.

You see nothing - not that I owe you any explanations.

Now stop getting all weepy on me. It's irritating and I can't stand emotional men.