Setaje:



As in u should see d way my mum hammers it in my ear everyday. The Yoruba culture is just so flexible and westernised. It has its good and bad sides but the good side outweighs the bad side as far as I am concerned. They don't discriminate against single mothers, they don't discriminate against widows, there is no bastard. Everybody is welcome. At any age u can get a man or woman to marry or a companion.


Another thing is just pray your family is ok or well to do. That is why they advise people to cut their coat according to their size. When a man is far far richer than the woman and even takes Care of the womans family, omo na there she go die put because the girls family have lost their pride already .ot to talk of the huge bride price, that's why u see many of these girls dying silently.

There are just so many dimensions to stories like this.

AdimGreat:
Women! Women!! Women!!!
When are we going to learn?? Marriage is not a do or die affair. Money is not everything. And to think she had an opportunity to save her life and come back home. What kind of shame will she face that is worth her life now?

It's just too pathetic. May her soul RIP.

aisha2:
Death seems better than shame in many Nigerian marriages. I hope families and people suffering abusive relationships will learn but they never do

bellong:


Well, I understand you. However, if one pays detailed attention to what matters, a wolf can't hide for too long in a sheep clothing.

Not saying some can't be unlucky but there is always a way out before it leads to death.

I do not have all the details about this case but I know, she could have avoided an untimely death.

Truckpusher:
It is a sad situation my dear.But who in his right frame of mind will enslave a woman you truly love because you're helping her family?.....These are just bad people acting out their own script .

Setaje:



Truckpusher that's the issue. Who truly and genuinely loves anybody this days. Love is like a social exchange theory. Its give and take. Even me wey dey talk. If today I bring one riff raft home, I no what my dad would do. Nobody wants to suffer. Everybody is gambling when it comes to choosijg a spouse. However it is for this lady, it's just easy for us to abuse her and insult her for marrying that guy. The pressure is just damn to much for us. Its getting worse everyday. Unfortunately a lot of people would still be killed making the wrong choices.

Truckpusher:
No single empathy even for the dead?.....smh.

Truckpusher:
That's the problem with you ladies.What guarantee do you have that the same guy that seem to have it all won't dive the dirt at some point if his resources are not properly managed or business simply went bad for a long time ?
Learn how to be contented with what you have and live within that limit while working towards a better future .
You don't allow your parents to push you into making a choice just to see them happy ,it is your life and your parents won't be there to witness the horrors that you'll witness if your Prince in shinning armour turns out to be a jerk.

I understand how some parents indirectly pressure their daughters to bring home rich suitors but the truth is if you stand your ground they'll have no choice than to let you be.Sometimes you need to show your parents the other side of you they never knew it existed.

Frankiss44:


Yeah... Well said. But I can assure you that the Ese I know won't have tolerated an abusive relationship, she was just unlucky to be in a strange land and probably nobody to run to and she spoilt her chance of walking away from the relationship save and sound when she threatened to report the battery case to the police.
From that day she didn't get luxury of seeing her sitting room not to talk of sunlight as the dude locked her up for months... It took a distress call from a neighbor to the police who claims to be hearing screams at odd hours for her to be rescued..

But then it was already too late.

bukatyne:


Dearie,

Don't let it drop.

I'll save my empathy for her parents and family.

aisha2:


Did you read this?



Sometimes it's okay to admit the initial post was wrong and someone close is saying the real story. No one knows it all, no one is perfect, she didn't sit and do nothing, she tried to leave and the mistake she made was telling him she would go to the police, do you imagine for a second the trauma she passed through in the last days?

Then the Malaysian authorities are idiots, why not stabilise her first? Why bundle and send her to die in that state? Please lets be human abeg, no one and no situation is perfect. from the initial story I blamed her but her family friend came and gave the true story and I have better knowledge and apologised. She didn't cause it, she didn't tolerate it, the idiot fake friend who posted this caused the misinformation by wrongly stating thay she refused to leave because of shame which was a lie.

Put yourself in her shoes, what would you have done? You probably married your child hood love who travelled for greener pastures, he came back for you unlike others who dump their babes, you had a beautiful wedding, you get abroad and find out he isn't what he said he is, in naivety you threatened him with police, he locks you up siezes all your property you are in prison, he locks you in and beat you a neighbor calls police a little too late, the authorities instead of treating you bundled you back in that bad state. Haba my sister,.it could be any of us, we don't make perfect decisions all the time, she went through enough hell in her last moments she was brave but unlucky, dragging her even in death because one stupid uninformed friend tweeted a story she knew little about is not right. Thank you Frank for standing by her bless you


You are welcome dear.I try not to blame people who just jumped to conclusion with little facts because most of us are guilty of it. If i didnt have first class information from the deceased family, i would probably be blaming her too. Because for real, most girls hold on too long to a cursed marriage but this case was different, Ese wouldnt .The friend that tweeted this might not even be a friend, just someone that probably knows Ese and heard some half baked stories. I just felt i had to clear the air.

And this should be a huge lesson to girls in the same situation of battery. You dont have to threaten your beast of a husband or let him have the slightest idea of your intention. Just walk out quietly when it is safe to do so because if Ese was not naive, she would have been alive today

Frankiss44:


Yeah... Well said. But I can assure you that the Ese I know won't have tolerated an abusive relationship, she was just unlucky to be in a strange land and probably nobody to run to and she spoilt her chance of walking away from the relationship save and sound when she threatened to report the battery case to the police.
From that day she didn't get luxury of seeing her sitting room not to talk of sunlight as the dude locked her up for months... It took a distress call from a neighbor to the police who claims to be hearing screams at odd hours for her to be rescued..

But then it was already too late.

bellong:


Hmmm... What a wicked world.

The initial write-ups made it looked like she knew what she was getting into. I have not been following the thread per se except your mention.

May her soul rest in peace.. so sad. However, my advice in choosing a partner still stand.

Are you by chance following the aftermath of the story to know how the Malaysian authority is handling this case?

The guy may likely be suffering from number of psychiatric problems because I wonder how a sane man will lock up someone for months without battling an eyelid.

Couples, it is safe to say that you go for periodic psychiatric examination/check up before any of the spouse turns to a voracious lion. I have done mine three weeks ago to keep in shape before to avoid any future story that touch.

bellong:


Hmmm... What a wicked world.

The initial write-ups made it looked like she knew what she was getting into. I have not been following the thread per se except your mention.

May her soul rest in peace.. so sad. However, my advice in choosing a partner still stand.

Are you by chance following the aftermath of the story to know how the Malaysian authority is handling this case?

The guy may likely be suffering from number of psychiatric problems because I wonder how a sane man will lock up someone for months without battling an eyelid.

Couples, it is safe to say that you go for periodic psychiatric examination/check up before any of the spouse turns to a voracious lion. I have done mine three weeks ago to keep in shape before to avoid any future story that touch.

aisha2:


The guy has been arrested
My brother when it comes to health you know how my people think, its not their portion hence we have young people dying daily of what used to be old people's disease.
Mental health is even worse. I think it wasn't even a mental problem he just didn't want her going home and telling people what she had discovered about him seeing they were well known at home. Just sad, she was unlucky and its unfortunate

bukatyne:


Dearie,

Don't let it drop.

I'll save my empathy for her parents and family.

Frankiss44:

Yea... The family is following up, the dude has been arrested and charged to court. The malaysians insisted that he will be persecuted in Malaysia since the offence was commited there. But they are charging him with molestation, battery and kidnapp related offences. But unknowingly to them the victim is dead... so the family is trying to write to them to inform them of the latest development.

bellong:


I hope it will not end in just arresting him. The dude must face the full weight of the law if found to be sane prior to the act.

Sometimes, one can't blame people who refused to go for medical check up. By the time hospitals slam medical fees on a person who doesn't even know how he will get to eat the next meal, such a one will see going to the hospital as the handiwork of the enemy.

If healthcare is affordable and qualitative, the impact of religious houses will be limited to cases requiring only miracles. The country is sick.

bellong:


If found guilty for the above offences, how many years will he bag?

I hope the lady is not the daughter of Prof. Hope Eghagha?

Frankiss44:




There law is a little lenient. Sources say he could get less than 5 years with a very good lawyer since there is no evidence to prove he locked her for months. But if its a case of battery that leads to death, then the minimum could be 21years but there will still be a need for autopsy to show the deceased died from the battery related injuries but i doubt if the family will wanna pass through such stress.

She isn't the daughter of the Prof because i know her parents very well but the Eghagha is one big family name so i wouldnt know if they are related in any way.

aisha2:


Did you read this?



Sometimes it's okay to admit the initial post was wrong and someone close is saying the real story. No one knows it all, no one is perfect, she didn't sit and do nothing, she tried to leave and the mistake she made was telling him she would go to the police, do you imagine for a second the trauma she passed through in the last days?

Then the Malaysian authorities are idiots, why not stabilise her first? Why bundle and send her to die in that state? Please lets be human abeg, no one and no situation is perfect. from the initial story I blamed her but her family friend came and gave the true story and I have better knowledge and apologised. She didn't cause it, she didn't tolerate it, the idiot fake friend who posted this caused the misinformation by wrongly stating thay she refused to leave because of shame which was a lie.

Put yourself in her shoes, what would you have done? You probably married your child hood love who travelled for greener pastures, he came back for you unlike others who dump their babes, you had a beautiful wedding, you get abroad and find out he isn't what he said he is, in naivety you threatened him with police, he locks you up siezes all your property you are in prison, he locks you in and beat you a neighbor calls police a little too late, the authorities instead of treating you bundled you back in that bad state. Haba my sister,.it could be any of us, we don't make perfect decisions all the time, she went through enough hell in her last moments she was brave but unlucky, dragging her even in death because one stupid uninformed friend tweeted a story she knew little about is not right. Thank you Frank for standing by her bless you

aisha2:

Bros if we don't spend N20000 or N30000 on check up God forbid you end up looking for millions to travel abroad, which is wiser?

What about the well to do people who will also refuse to get checked up? Its even young upwardly mobile people who have health insurance that refuse to get tested and checked.

Even if you do just basics for N5000 or N10000 how about healthy lifestyle? There is no money yet beer parlours in every corner are never out of business. Ogogoro, agbo and other concoctions make money daily.

We should seek to educate our people rather than feed the bias of no money because God forbid when it gets bad its me and you who will contribute to fly them abroad

Frankiss44:




There law is a little lenient. Sources say he could get less than 5 years with a very good lawyer since there is no evidence to prove he locked her for months. But if its a case of battery that leads to death, then the minimum could be 21years but there will still be a need for autopsy to show the deceased died from the battery related injuries but i doubt if the family will wanna pass through such stress.

She isn't the daughter of the Prof because i know her parents very well but the Eghagha is one big family name so i wouldnt know if they are related in any way.

bellong:


If found guilty for the above offences, how many years will he bag?

I hope the lady is not the daughter of Prof. Hope Eghagha?

bellong:



Actually not making excuse for people but trying to point out why some would refuse to do it.




Even if it is not needed for court case, I believe according to medical practice, autopsy should be done for all corpses. This helps in identifying and understanding trends in death. I may be wrong.

I hope the family does the needful for justice sake.

Frankiss44:


This was the only pic i have of their colourful marriage

bukatyne:


There is something off about the picture

I hope the man gets the justice he deserves

bukatyne:


There is something off about the picture

I hope the man gets the justice he deserves

Frankiss44:


This was the only pic i have of their colourful marriage