1. If he's not proud of you
He might feel like you are some kind of *embarrassment* to him. He might also resent you because he'll feel that people look down upon him because of you.

2. If he's possessive
He sees you as one of his belongings, so if feels threatened (like someone might snatch you away from him) he might beat to protect his territory.

3. If he's a mama's boy
He might beat because his mum comes first & he'll see you as trying to break that bond.

4. If he's a flirt
He'll beat because you'll try to put him in line and he'll take it for you trying to control his life.

5. If he's insecure
He feels that he might lose you any time, so you'll find yourselves quarreling over "Who called you?", "Who did you stop to greet?" etc. This might lead to beating.

6. If he's a drunk
When he knocks and you go to open the door, you might receive a punch...Alcohol has a way of interferring with someone's reasoning capacity. That's why when someone is drunk, they can give even their deepest secret.

7. If he uses drugs (Cocaine, heroine, etc). The explanation is same as above.

8. If he gets angry easily/he's highly temperamental
When you are angry you can do crazy things, which include beating. Some people know how to control their anger, but others don't.

9. If he's a chauvinist
He has prejudice against women. He sees them as inferior beings who have no say. If you try to challenge his beliefs/the status quo, he might beat you.

10. If he's a masochist
A masochist is someone who obtains pleasure from receiving punishment. He might transfer that to you thinking that you'll also like it.

These guys are our brothers and will marry one day. What advice can you give to a lady whose partner is apotential *beater* (especially when leaving is not an option)?

It seems like women have all the answers about abusive relationships/marriage and know all the warning signs but seem to always be in abusive relationships.
Maybe if you all keep reminding yourselves of the signs, you will eventually get it right....

Op nice list.
I agree with you on every point except point 3

A man who is a mama's boy definitely won't be a wife beater.
Because of the closeness towards his mum, he must have already developed respect for her which would subconsciously have created a respect and regard for women in general.

Guys ma plus 1 year today.
Can somebody wish me happy birthday!.
Am so happy.

missjenna:
Op nice list.
I agree with you on every point except point 3

A man who is a mama's boy definitely won't be a wife beater. Because of the closeness towards his mum, he must have already developed respect for her which would subconsciously have created a respect for women in general.

A mama's boy acts like being programmed, he doesn't care or respect the wife views, he belives Mama is always right and he sees the wife as a cog in the wheel of Mama's affection. A mama's boy is real hell living with

missjenna:
Op nice list.
I agree with you on every point except point 3

A man who is a mama's boy definitely won't be a wife beater. Because of the closeness towards his mum, he must have already developed respect for her which would subconsciously have created a respect for women in general.

I'm with you on this one..
Men that don't get along with their
mothers are potential wife beaters..

kentochi:
Guys ma plus 1 year today.
Can somebody wish me happy birthday!.
Am so happy.

Happy birthday bro!

Op Your list makes alota sense


I remember the day I slapped a girl in high school (though she caused it)
I took ill hours later, it was like a near death experience...
Somehow I got a little strength the next day, I hurriedly went to this girl and begged her... She was crying and she told me she has forgiven me

Mehn, I started feeling better and hale from that moment...

Since that day I learnt my Lessons the hard way and I vowed to my self never to hit any girl again.

very true

nice list op

sooooooo true.

nice one op

Enegod:
It seems like women have all the answers about abusive relationships/marriage and know all the warning signs but seem to always be in abusive relationships.
Maybe if you all keep reminding yourselves of the signs, you will eventually get it right....

The signs are there, but sometimes we are blinded by love.

kentochi:
Guys ma plus 1 year today.
Can somebody wish me happy birthday!.
Am so happy.

Happy birthday!

Nice one ladyX

alberto2k:
Op Your list makes alota sense


I remember the day I slapped a girl in high school (though she caused it)
I took ill hours later, it was like a near death experience...
Somehow I got a little strength the next day, I hurriedly went to this girl and begged her... She was crying and she told me she has forgiven me

Mehn, I started feeling better and hale from that moment...

Since that day I learnt my Lessons the hard way and I vowed to my self never to hit any girl again.

That's nice. What would you advice ladies with potentially abusive partners?

LadyX:

The signs are there, but sometimes we are blinded by love.

love indeed!

Sarimah:
very true

nice list op

Thanks

Enegod:
love indeed!

Some people get seriously beaten but they choose to stay because they are 'in love'. What would you call that?

brito:
Nice one ladyX

Thanks!

LadyX:

Some people get seriously beaten but they choose to stay because they are 'in love'. What would you call that?

madness

Enegod:
madness

What advice can you give ladies who are beaten by their partners?

LadyX:


What advice can you give ladies who are beaten by their partners?

to go and learn kung-fu or tai-chi to contain the situation

If he talks too much, ladies listen if the guy you're dating is talking too much pls be careful. women naturally talks a lot that's how God created us but if a guy talks like a woman there is a problem. If you both are arguing he may want to shut you up by beating. Every man want his gf or wife to respect him by keeping quiet when he's talking, that seems impossible if he's talking . LewisO hope you don't talk too much cos its a no, no for me.

Enegod:
to go and learn kung-fu or tai-chi to contain the situation

Chai! You wan kill person? If I practice kung-fu on you how will you react?
Abeg give me something realistic.

LadyX:


That's nice. What would you advice ladies with potentially abusive partners?

It depends on the type of person the lady is

If the lady is someone who is careless with her words, like to get in an arguement over little things(the fast, running mouth types) she better stay off from guyz that are potentially abusive

I'd advice they learn to be carefull with their words, avoid arguements, they should try to be gentle with their partners (like if he says he doesn't like this, don't ask why, just get it done first and after that u can ask him why he doesn't like that)

brito:
If he talks too much, ladies listen if the guy you're dating is talking too much pls be careful. women naturally talks a lot that's how God created us but if a guy talks like a woman there is a problem. If you both are arguing he may want to shut you up by beating. Every man want his gf or wife to respect him by keeping quiet when he's talking, that seems impossible if he's talking . LewisO hope you don't talk too much cos its a no, no for me.

That's so true! The 2 of you will compete in talking. Now imagine a situation where he's on the wrong and you're trying to tell him he's wrong. He'll try to be defensive and next, na slap you go get for face

Lol @ LewisO...He'll skin you alive today

LadyX:


That's so true! The 2 of you will compete in talking. Now imagine a situation where he's on the wrong and you're trying to tell him he's wrong. He'll try to be defensive and next, na slap you go get for face

Lol @ LewisO...He'll skin you alive today

If he tries that no.......for him today. I don't like guys that talk too much, such guys don't take advice

alberto2k:


It depends on the type of person the lady is

If the lady is someone who is careless with her words, like to get in an arguement over little things(the fast, running mouth types) she better stay off from guyz that are potentially abusive

I'd advice they learn to be carefull with their words, avoid arguements, they should try to be gentle with their partners (like if he says he doesn't like this, don't ask why, just get it done first and after that u can ask him why he doesn't like that)

Very useful advice.
I only have a problem with the bolded. What if he's asking you to do something outrageous?

LadyX:


Very useful advice.
I only have a problem with the bolded. What if he's asking you to do something outrageous?

First you gotta ask why

If u sense he's getting upset
Then tryna calm him down

Every man, has "mumu button" and every lady should learn how to use it to calm him down

P.S: someone who truely loves you won't be asking you to do something outrageous

LadyX:

Chai! You wan kill person? If I practice kung-fu on you how will you react?
Abeg give me something realistic.

well, Some women think that's the way he
shows love. I had a friend that told me she liked it when she got abused because that was the only time he gave her any attention.
She said they would have sex after the
abuse...I was dumbfounded

Some women like it... Those that don't like being abused, I think they should quit the relationship.. But again, some are too scared to leave. They think they have no other options.

alberto2k:


First you gotta ask why

If u sense he's getting upset
Then tryna calm him down

Every man, has "mumu button" and every lady should learn how to use it to calm him down

P.S: someone who truely loves you won't be asking you to do something outrageous

Thanks jare

Enegod:


well, Some women think that's the way he
shows love. I had a friend that told me she liked it when she got abused [/b]because that was the only time he gave her any attention.
She said [b]they would have sex after the
abuse...I was dumbfounded

Some women like it... Those that don't like being abused, I think they should quit the relationship.. But again, some are too scared to leave. They think they have no other options.

Her motivation for liking to be beaten was s*x.

LadyX:


Her motivation for liking to be beaten was s*x.

Yeah, maybe the guy has huge konda...