bukatyne:


Something like what?

We can argue that if you did not want anything unsavory to happen to them, you wouldn't have registered for the exams in the first place (as you did not want to be apart or can't something unsavory happen at your mother's or MIL's place?

I think your husband has a strength that he is willing to care for them overnight.

nickibarb:


I was bothered because I realised she was communicating with my husband but not talking to me. Was I wrong to be bothered by that? At first when she wasn't picking up my calls or responding to my texts, I thought she didn't have her phone on her. I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

KanwuliaJara:
It is obvious that you are very insecure. You leave your exams to focus on the dynamics of your dysfunctional marriage. You lack diplomacy and are very CONFRONTATIONAL
If your MIL does not pick your calls or reply your text message WHY ARE YOU BOTHERED?

You need to learn to control your emotions and prioritize your affairs in the order of importance.
You have exams to prepare for and you are on NL whining!
Are you the only parent to those kids?

The time you should spend taking care or YOUR affairs you spend NAGGING about your husband and MIL. You want to travel with 2 BABIES alone to write an exam?

From your first post up there, I could list a million reasons why you keep having domestic issues.
You lack proper communication skills for one and you have a VICTIM-MENTALITY.

You feel aggrieved?
Why should you?
You are too NEEDY!
Get help and learn to relax!
Marriage is not a cross to be carried to Calvary!!!

KanwuliaJara:


What exactly is your business between a mother and son?
If they choose to exclude you, then you IGNORE them.
Why make it a conspiracy-theory?
You lack emotional MATURITY!
Never love those WHO do not love you till they change their minds!
What exactly is your problem?

You sure DO NOT act like A MARRIED WOMAN with 2 babies and an EXAM to prepare for.
Where do you find THE TIME for all this bytching?

funkyjms:


Even without making an attempt to know why and possibly resolve the ish? I just hope you won't flaw her mind with this your maturity talk.
I'm beginning to see why 5minutesmadness made that post.

KanwuliaJara:


Sometimes, trying too hard to be loved and accepted proves to backfire.
Please, at this time her EXAMS AND LITTLE CHILDREN should be her priority. . . Instead of trying to CONTROL EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE AROUND HER!

She may not have much of a marriage for now.
But the ball is in her racket ALWAYS!

funkyjms:


It's very obvious you didn't read each of her post before dishing out your advice.

SAMBARRY:
I stopped at where he smashed your head on the table because I was too irritated to read the rest.



1.is your head coconut wey them dey smash for table.
2.if he didn't want you in his house again you no fit leave am make the fire for im head quench and find better place to sleep
3 mother and pikin dey talk wetin consain you. The only thing I have a problem with her is that after your head was smashed no calling back to confirm what happened. Not even going to check you in the hospital? Na so them no get conscience reach for their family?



If it was her daughter na so she go behave so non chalantly.i can bet na so she don use to beating reach from your father in law that she doesn't see anything wrong. Anyway back to the issue. You don marry may weather husband you don marry am be that. You will choose what you want. Whether you want to continue enjoying the beating or not. Meanwhile some people that are giving you advise here are wife beaters so they don't see anything wrong in what your husband did .Shebi it's still your head he smashed. That one na preamble na when he connive with the mom and send the kids abroad strip you of them and change the house keys so you won't be able to enter na im your head go correct




shioorr.dont start saving money and preparing for the day you won't stay there anymore

KanwuliaJara:
It is obvious that you are very insecure. You leave your exams to focus on the dynamics of your dysfunctional marriage. You lack diplomacy and are very CONFRONTATIONAL!
If your MIL does not pick your calls or reply your text message WHY ARE YOU BOTHERED?

You need to learn to control your emotions and prioritize your affairs in the order of importance.
You have exams to prepare for and you are on NL whining!
Are you the only parent to those kids?

The time you should spend taking care or YOUR affairs you spend NAGGING about your husband and MIL. You want to travel with 2 BABIES alone to write an exam?

From your first post up there, I could list a million reasons why you keep having domestic issues.
You lack proper communication skills for one and you have a VICTIM-MENTALITY.

You feel aggrieved?
Why should you?
You are too NEEDY!
Get help and learn to relax!
Marriage is not a cross to be carried to Calvary!!!

KanwuliaJara:



Amen!!!!!!!
Women and their issues I swia!

francizy:


Kanwulia dear, you over made sense this time around oh.. Am impressed!

SAMBARRY:
some posts are Sooo annoying to say the least that you begin to wonder whether some of this posters grew up in a ranch or normal home





if some posters can be so myopic only God knows what they teach in the so called pre wedding counselling organised in churches





im house na paradise?

KanwuliaJara:


I am not sexist you know?

nickibarb:


looks like my desire to play the part of perfect wife and mother backfired, i felt like if someone (like maybe MIL) happens to hear that I left my politician husband home alone with a 3 month old baby in the middle of election season, they might think I consider my career as being more important than my kids. maybe caring about what people might think is the cause of the whole drama

francizy:


But you're a tribalist sha...

KanwuliaJara:



Amen!!!!!!!
Women and their issues I swia!

The babe need to comb her hair not her conscience o!
Her BRAIN nor dey breathe properly!
Too many "head-knocks" received I BEH-lieve!

mrssho:



I think there are underlying issues here i.e. you do not trust your husbands judgement....................So the question is, why dont you think your husband is capable? A lot of women would be happy if their husbands told them don't worry go and do your exams I will sort out the kids

SAMBARRY:



which hair she wan comb abi which style she wan do ?D



na Ghana braids or peruvian hair?




na the time to comb her hair or gets her acts together and focus on character and personality development and discovery





she needs a 3weeks vacation to be with herself plan her life and meditate on what will bring her inner peace.




Some of her mates wey tow her line don get stroke and hypertension and unfortunately life will go on for the man. Na only the children go suffer am

KanwuliaJara:


You can imagine if she catches the husband with another woman?
She go tie rope for her WAIST instead of her NECK to commit "sweecide" abi?

KanwuliaJara:


Yeah!
I BASH ALL TRIBES!
It is just that some are MOST problematic than others!

SAMBARRY:
no she go run mad. Them go dey treat am for yaba left

KanwuliaJara:




Na only YABA CENTRAL go fit handle this kain 'case' o!

francizy:


And who are the some?

KanwuliaJara:


You can imagine if she catches the husband with another woman?
She go tie rope for her WAIST instead of her NECK to commit "sweecide" abi?
The woman is toooo hormonal. She should take a break from "breeding" for now.
This smacks of SEVERE sexual frustration in that marriage!
2 babies under 2 years old?
Hmmmm. The man sef dey suffer BIG-TIME AGRO!
The woman always get BIG-BELLE ke!!!!
Muchechecheche

moca:
Hello lady, I must be frank with u.
U r beinng intimidated by ur husband's family.

U r also over trying to win their side.

U don't have a voice.

They run the empire.

U probably came for the money and affluence.


Ur problem is solely ur husband, no ur MIL.
Keep ur marriage to urself.
If u can't tell ur mum,u can't tell ur MIL.
Period.


Now, u have to define ur boundaries.
Sit down with ur husband and revisit ur mum'ss case.

If he still insist ur children won't see ur mum, nne,there is fire on d mountain.

At times,it takes only one incident to make things right.

Now,im talking from experience.


And yep, u are so afraid of incurring their wrath.

I will never be at peace with a man who disrespects my mum like this unless she deserves it.
Yet here u r worshiping the ground his mum walks on cos u wanna be d good wife.
Such hypocrisy!

I'm more angry at u than ur hubby.

Can u go tru ur posts again?
How will ur mum see u?
U will soon become a grandma. U will know d pains when ur child refuses to bring ur grandchildren for u to cuddle.
Unless ur mum is bad.

U have completely failed.

At the rate at which u r going, when something happens(or u think something may not happen),its still this momma that u will run to.

Lady, behave like one that sucked her mama's bwest pls.

U know ur husband. U know what to do.

(what ladies do to keep their marriage sometimes baffles me)

Madampinkolo:
OP,
There's nothing like a perfect wife or perfect husband.In life,all we can do is give our best and love each other as much as possible.

You obviously have little to zero say in your house as evidenced by what you have written so far.Why is that?It is rational for you to be worried about your husband being left alone with two very little kids and it is concern that made you try to arrange an alternative.

So you have let your husbands dislike of your mother fester even to the extent of denying them to care for your kids?What your mother did was to want to bring vendors for the wedding right?He rejected hers and still got swindled and still hes holding on to his dislike.

If we follow that logic,you should also despise and cut off his mother since she has done way worse by not intervening when you could have been killed.BUt you are here running helter skelter still wanting to get into her good graces despite her wronging you.

See?? You are in trouble because you have by your actions placed your parents in your husbands eyes as persona non grata,and that's what has allowed him to treat them in such a manner.Your MIL even not taking their calls?Wahala dey.If you treat your family as unimportant,why shouldn't he do the same?

So because of money and politics you are intimidated?? Even if your parents are from the poorest family,you should be proud of them and hold them in high esteem.Are you ashamed of where you are from?You are intelligent,you have a career,would that have been possible if you weren't raised right?? You owe your parents a big apology.

The problem here is the extent we take this you have married his family thing,i think we go too far in the quest for acceptance and most times to the detriment of our own families.

I was almost sucked into the same,giving and pouring more into my inlaws etc but fortunately for me my MIL stabbed me in the back.That's all i needed for the scale to fall off my eyes.Nothing in this planet will change my loyalty or allegiance in this life again.
1st to my nuclear unit,2nd to my own family, 3rd the rest.I'm sure that after our nuclear unit,my husband's own family come second for him and that's fine by me but in our own case we try to be fair to all but i know once i get jara it's going straight to the people who have my back.If your mother is an evil witch who wants to see the back of you,its different.

Look now,you were arguing with your husband,took his wallet and he pushed you.YOu hit your head on a table.Do you know you could have died?What did your MIL do? NOthing.She knew you were injured,and at that point no MATTER what,she should have stepped in and put her son in line BUT she chose to do nothing.Did she ever say eiyaaa sorry my dear?She's even in the church counselling group?Count your teeth with your tongue.You cannot put someone who doesn't care about your well being on a pedestal while your own family are held in disdain.

Funny enough,you are not even worried or troubled about your husband refusing for your kids to spend time with your folks,you opened a thread for your MIL.

How about the fact that you felt forced to taking his wallet as a way to force his hand which resulted to a scuffle that would have ended you?

You are not worried that your husband could have caused your death by that push? You are worried about MIL?

You are not perturbed that your husband would rather you are locked out of the house than take the risk that you would return and take the kids to your parents?


Please,in your bid to get into the family's good graces don't lose yourself,you will regret it.

My friend,call your husband and sit down.Please tell him violence is not acceptable and you will strive not to put up threatening behavior.

2. The putting down of your parents is not acceptable and time the children spend with both sides of grandparents will be equal.

3. If maybe he's giving them money and that's also the cause of the despise,please he should stop giving them.You have a job,take over the care of your parents.

4. You can still have an okay/good relationship with MIL but please be aware that you are less important than her son and grand kids.I'm being very blunt.

I wish you all the best because the mountain you are yet to climb is very very high.Sort out your nuclear family first..If care is not taken you will be a glorified maid. Take your position and be wise.

You and your hubby are still young,you can put heads together and fix this..Deal with all resentment,unite and be a strong family.Yes,there will be bias in your hearts,but at least there will be fairness.Take the steps to secure your home and marriage now.

cheers!

Jahblessme:
I wonder why you are focusing on your mil?
Your husband is the one who pushed you and you sustained a head injury.

Your husband is the one who locked you out of the house.

Your husband is the one acting like your parents can't care for your children.

You both have issues which are deeper than you are letting on and I feel the focus on mil is a way to deflect.Take care to discuss with hubby that getting physical is something you will not accept! You too be careful what you do.

Your husband and his mother have huge plans for your kids,with you in the picture or not.You are not even allowed to make decisions on the care of your own children.Locking out of house And you are busy focusing on MIL

You'd best start sorting this out before the river will swallow you.
You are the woman of the house,better solidify your position there.You can ignore or patch up with MIL later,your choice.Of course you will be forced to say sorry for something you aren't guilty of,forced to say sorry for her disrespecting your parents too.That's the naija method...total humiliation.

What did your parents do that they are not allowed to care for their own grandkidsThey will be cut off very soon unless you stand up for them and refuse to allow this nonsense.Abi they are not as rich as your hubby and therefore underlings??

Good luck,you will need it!!