DollyParton1:

The MIL is not innocent per say. At that point that she realised her DIL has been hurt, I think she should have shown care at least. She even came to the house without waiting to say hello to her DIL.

Just like u wrote earlier, nickibarb is not focusing on the real issues here. The problem is with her and her husband.
Your husband doesn't like your mom and you are indulging him. I tell anyone that cares to listen that I dont joke with my parents and siblings, there is no way in hell, that I will allow my husband to disrespect my family, if they haven't disrespected him. He even tried to lock you out because he doesn't want you to sneak back to take the kids to your parents. It shows how much he despises them.

Secondly your husband hurt you (intentionally or unintentionally), and the next thing is to pacify you with some kisses and Italian wears. That right there is a classic sign of an abuser. He dint even appologise or try to talk about it. And you went ahead to collect the the gift. Weldone.

babyosisi:


You need to wake up
You need to wake up
You need to wake up
How much louder can I say this
Wake up!!

Every woman's first choice of a caregiver in this case is their mother
How can you have a living mother and your first choice will be your MIL who doesn't care anything about you
You are dishonoring that woman that gave birth to you
The Bible says children honor your father and mother so that your days will be long
Your husband dishonors your mother and you sign off on it
Shame on you

Joavil3682010:

Apology, forgiveness?
You apologise so you can be forgiven, right?



He can hurt her, say sorry and repeat it again.
The gifts he got her is his own way of saying sorry. You doubt me,Ask men around you.



She would be very silly to let this all go without talking about it with him.
You don't accumulate issues with your spouse without talking about it

Like her wrote earlier, she knows her husband more than anyone of us here. She should apply wisdom.
Communication is key.

nickibarb:


yeah i know i was wrong to have taken my husband's wallet, but i got desperate cos i was at a loss at what to do, my husband was not budging, my MIL wasn't taking my calls, i was trying not to involve my parents cos I know my husband doesn't like my mum and I was really running late. exam was at 7am the next day and it was almost evening and I hadn't left my city. I finally got the the exam city at 1am and was taken straight to the hospital. I was able to do the exam after pleading with the doctors to discharge me from the emergency room that morning. luckily i passed. Thank God

Joavid:

Apology, forgiveness?
You apologise so you can be forgiven, right?



He can hurt her, say sorry and repeat it again.
The gifts he got her is his own way of saying sorry. You doubt me,Ask men around you.



She would be very silly to let this all go without talking about it with him.
You don't accumulate issues with your spouse without talking about it

Like her wrote earlier, she knows her husband more than anyone of us here. She should apply wisdom.
Communication is key.

nickibarb:


I was bothered because I realised she was communicating with my husband but not talking to me. Was I wrong to be bothered by that? At first when she wasn't picking up my calls or responding to my texts, I thought she didn't have her phone on her. I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

babyosisi:

Didn't he seize her key?

qbd2:
Hmm, dats y they always say tis not just about d person ur marrying, its also bout the family ur marrying into

xdunamis:
You are not loyal to your husband, you dont have good manners, you show him no respect and he's already fed up with you, he suspects you are already having an affair and this might also be true. Thats the truth woman, stop trying to potray yourself as a good woman cos you are not. I read all these through the lines of your story. Your MIL is not a bad person, she is angry because of what her son told her about you.

nickibarb:


yeah i know i was wrong to have taken my husband's wallet, but i got desperate cos i was at a loss at what to do, my husband was not budging, my MIL wasn't taking my calls, i was trying not to involve my parents cos I know my husband doesn't like my mum and I was really running late. exam was at 7am the next day and it was almost evening and I hadn't left my city. I finally got the the exam city at 1am and was taken straight to the hospital. I was able to do the exam after pleading with the doctors to discharge me from the emergency room that morning. luckily i passed. Thank God

fem29:


My dear, you are married to a Nigerian man in Nigeria. Shine ya eyes. I'm sure he was very different when you were abroad but he has reintegrated back into the typical Nigerian man. This same thing happened to my parents too. They were living in the states, good jobs, very very happy. My dad would pick the baby up from nursery and make dinner cos he got home first. Mum was working in a bank and studying nights. He even took my bro to nigeria for a visit all by himself whilst he was still under 1, that's how hands on he was was. His mum guilt tripped and forced them to come back to nigeria and dad reverted to a naija man, girlfriends, late nights etc.

Hunny chile, stack your chips, I now have this mindset that anyone can do anything. There is nothing my hubby can do that will surprise me now. Try your best to n your marriage, try it to reintegrate your parents to be part of your lives.

As for your mother inlaw, make contact with her, call her and just tell her you want to greet her cos you haven't spoken to her in a while, don't mention what happened, don't apologise, don't be over chummy. If she doesn't pick up, send a text to that effect. Not point rehashing things, you already know where she stands. Just keep things civil. Shine ya eyes and keep your ears open, nuff said

jayedu108:
@op you married ur husband because of money and not cos of love kindly endure the suffering nah cos u saw all dis while u guys were dating but cos of the money u stay put so try sort dis out urself.

RiffRaff:
If you are reading this and you are Single... Good news for you. I came all the way from the future to deliver a message to you.
Its a simple message:
"No matter what you do, Please i beg you on bended knees, dont ever get married".
It is a needless trap... With the kind of stories i read here on Nairaland everyday, no one in his right sense will open his|her eyes and walk into the bondage Nigerians call MARRIAGE.
Everyone feels their own choice will be different till they make the choice of UNHAPPINESS & Misery for the larger part of their lives.
If you finally sucumb to societal pressure, make sure you do not marry a Nigerian.

That being said: The Moral of the story is:
1. As long as u are rich & can buy italian wears.. A Nigerian woman will love you no matter what you do to her. Smash her head with a Baseball Bat, just make sure u have money.
Lock her out of the house like you lock a dog out of a cage.
Deprive her of making decisons in the lives of her child because, she is just a baby making vessel that is meant to pop out children.
Once you are richer than her Family, have no regard for her parents cuz afterall, what does an Ant have to say in the gatherin of Elephants.

Make money in Nigeria. You will find "unconditional" Love.

This is the story that Jesus saw in his crystal ball &
Jesus wept.....

fem29:

My dear, you are married to a Nigerian man in Nigeria. Shine ya eyes. I'm sure he was very different when you were abroad but he has reintegrated back into the typical Nigerian man. This same thing happened to my parents too. They were living in the states, good jobs, very very happy. My dad would pick the baby up from nursery and make dinner cos he got home first. Mum was working in a bank and studying nights. He even took my bro to nigeria for a visit all by himself whilst he was still under 1, that's how hands on he was was. His mum guilt tripped and forced them to come back to nigeria and dad reverted to a naija man, girlfriends, late nights etc.

Hunny chile, stack your chips, I now have this mindset that anyone can do anything. There is nothing my hubby can do that will surprise me now. Try your best to n your marriage, try it to reintegrate your parents to be part of your lives.

As for your mother inlaw, make contact with her, call her and just tell her you want to greet her cos you haven't spoken to her in a while, don't mention what happened, don't apologise, don't be over chummy. If she doesn't pick up, send a text to that effect. Not point rehashing things, you already know where she stands. Just keep things civil. Shine ya eyes and keep your ears open, nuff said

sleekman:

People like u don't learn. Ur style results in more divorces in our society.

kweenkong:
Yes you are right to feel aggrieved , but i am still at a loss as to why your mother in law reacted that way. you need toanswer some questions.
1) why do you think your husband disagreed with taking the kids to your own parents?
2) Are you sure there is not a deeper rooted issue?

If i were you, i would forgive her but never forget , and when i take stock of my well wishers she will not be included. Would treat like a long distance relative. No unnecessary fraternizing. i greet her ,serve her what i have to offer and disappear into the inner reccess of my room. And honestly you were wrong trying to force your husbands hand by siezing his wallet. That was a direct challenge on is authority. Did you eventually write the exam as scheduled?

obiak4:

even if I read a 100times I does not change the fact that she is her MIL ABI??
IN IGBO TRADITION AND IN ALL AFRICAN TRADITION YOU CANNOT SUCCESSFULLY MARRY TO A FAMILY IF YOU DON'T GET ALONG WITH YOUR MIL
FYI WOMEN DON'T MARTY THE HUSBAND ALONE THEY MARRY THE ENTIRE FAMILY
IT WORST WHEN THE HUSBAND IS A WEAKLY
OP JUST PAY MIL A VISIT TELL HER YOU MISSED HER CRY IF YOU CAN ALL NA SHOWBIZ
BEEF SQUASHED U ARE FREE SHE IS FREE
SIKENA NE

repogirl:
Stop stalking your mother in law!

Is not by force that she should love you, you seem so needy self. Abeg leave the woman jare, is it by force to get her approval?

She doesn't pick your calls because she doesn't want to hear you reporting her son to her as if she didn't train him well enough. So, mind your marriage and settle your issues within your immediate family and stop trying to force your self on her.

Your husband will always be her son and you will never have that sort of bond with her. Since you have tried your best, leave it as it is.

Be respectful from the distance she has put you, accept it and live your life.

PS, u sef are a stubborn woman, how will you collect your husbands wallet of all things? You were looking for trouble.
What is there if he locks you out? Will you die? Isn't it for a few hours? All this began because u insisted on taking the kids to your parents am sure, cos if u didn't he wouldn't have insisted you gave him your key.

You better calm your Strong head down, am even sure your mother in law is tired of you attitude and wants to distance herself from you as a result.

Finally my point is, instead of pointing fingers begin by analysing yourself.

precisionindepth:
walahi wahala dey, DTS y d marriage institution is so in a very sorry state.

obiak4:

word "jealous of each other"
buttu why baby in Igbo man's voice
kayintwa in tiv language
kilo shele in Yoruba language
kenemeni in ukwani language
#WOMANUNKIDE

emmatok:


Yes the MIL is innocent here.
If she has been involve in this case you will be insulting her, now she decide to stay away you are still angry at her actions.

Her husband might have told his mother not to get involve, so she stayed away.
Stayed awyay? Even when they told her her son put his wife in d hospital? So if it had resulted to her death nko?

SOTNEG:
I have read ur write up and the advice of people. My dear u started dis whole drama. Two people cannot b at fault in a particular thing. One will take action and the other reaction. I thought ur Bible said u should submit urself to ur husband. And dat ur husband is ur head. What if ur husband had refused to allow u take the exam? Why would u question where he wants his children to be? My dear stop comparing ur family with his and deal the ego problem u have. Ur family is not looked down in any way here, so stop the pity mentality so dat u stop feeling like u are been marginalized. Don't follow d advice of equality btw men and women here on nairaland.
Pls go and apologize to ur husband cos dat ur Bible said dat disobedience is worse than the sin of witchcraft. Do u get it. Look the Bible and the Example of pple like Sarah etc who obeyed even when it hurts. Follow d manual of d initiator of marriage institution. Ppl of dis our days wants us to believe dat d man and woman should share authority. What has it resulted; break up in marriages. America and Europe preaching such doctrine have failed in dia family settings. My contributions is not to excite but to tell u d real truth. Leave ur mother-in-law alone she is not ur husband. Make peace and win d heart of ur husband through ur undiluted love and unquestionable loyalty. Every other thing will fall in place. I hv read pple saying stand for ur right cos 2moro they might limit u access to ur children or ur parents. Don't ur parents hv sons day can give dem grandchildren in d house? My dear for ur husband to still be confiding in his mother shows dat u have already started failing. Thereby making ur husband to still value d old relationship wt d mum. Wake up. Wake up.. Wake up.... Nobody should b close to ur husband than u. Think of dos little tins dat mum use to do for him and fill in d gap. Imagine provoking ur love to heat. Pls read anointed books about marriage.