Op, the only reason why you're interested in this lady is because you have not source of income yet but she takes care of your financial needs.
Trust me, as soon as you start working and realize that you have better choices that love you claim to have will die.
As far as I'm concerned a lot of the factors in this situation will count against the marriage if you still decide to go ahead with it.

Flashh:


[i]You can't even comprehend three sentences post. Where in my post did you see me claiming to advice him?

The advice I gave him was not marry her, only if you could get it.

If you want the (op) to go ahead and marry her, just pick another woman with two kids for yourself. Then come back and tell the (op) to go marry her. Yeye!

whatever..my own is simple even for a donkey to comprehend,keep ur advice to urself,old man,b4 someone call u a loser..

Guy, we are talking of a permutation of three serious factors here. U have only addressed one of them

adajiboyy:
I don't no y we nigerians see dating older lady as a taboo.am 25 dating a lady of 27,and amaka has been so wonderful,matured,respectful she has been everything a girl of 20 or even 23 wasn't.mate if u love ur lady go for ur lady.darey art alade got married to a lady older than him,and his marriage is one of the best in nigeria.its not about the age difference,but wat she fills for u.a nigerian man can marry a girl 20 years his junior but a lady can't marry a guy 4 years her junior.haba our ladies deserve happyness also na.

OP If you can handle being a step parent, then you can do it.
As long as you're sure your visions align and you're compatible with her.

The only reason people are telling you to run is because of their prejudices against single mothers which stems from sexism and nothing else.
I bet if you were a single lady asking this about a single dad whom you're considering marrying, nobody would see it as taboo. Instead you may even be made to look bad for your unwillingness to jump in and be a perfect step mom for his kids.

So pls don't base your decisions on the opinions borne out of chauvinism.
Rather your real concerns should be in your ability to be a step dad to kids that aren't yours. It's not easy.
But If you believe you can pull it off, then you've nothing to worry about.

A good person is a good person regardless of whether she's a single mom or young girl that has never had a boyfriend.
Ask those who married virgin women and still ended up unhappy or divorced.

This kind love no be here o...Anyway just follow your heart

Dear, seeking for advice here wouldn't help u although some are genuine but d best thing to do is to meet ur spiritual father (pastor) for counseling and pray for it b4 any decision can be taking. good luck

damostic2005:
Hello guys, I need your honest opinions, I'm 26years old and I'm in love with a 30year old lady. She loves me too and she's got 2kids already, she has never been married as the father of her children left her over 8years ago..

She's a responsible woman as far as I know because she takes proper care of her kids, she's fromAkwa ibom and she's a police officer (Asp) but my parents don't want me to be with her, they say because she's older and she's got kids and because she's not yoruba, that she won't be submissive and respectful to me, bla bla bla.

..I'm a fresh graduate am still job hunting though..but once I get a job and settle down, I'm willing to go all the way with her..

We have been off and on for 4years now..but one thing am sure is that she loves me and her kids love me too..please I'm I on the right path? I hope am not getting myself into trouble? Please I need your candid advise..thank you guys

[size=16pt]The witches from your village , or your wicked stepmother, or the okpo wey she don take nack you for blokoss, have not yet left your case. SMH [/size]

Spanner4:

Abi oooo, abeg read comments but take some@ur risk

tanks bro

Police is your friend.

sheilak:


You missed one crucial point

What about you? Maybe you were the problem after not them

There is nothing mature about a young man with no job dating an older woman with 2kids. I've seen it and been through it. They would have no common ground. The boy is thinking about a future for himself and the woman is thinking about future of herself and her 2kids with other relatives. The young man in question would bring NOTHING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO THE TABLE. U GOTTA THINK.. I AM TALKING FROM EXPERIENCE.

I CAN DATE A COUGAR NOW COS I HAVE A JOB AND I'M DOING WELL AND WE WOULD DO FINE BUT NOT AT THAT AGE IN THAT SITUATION

U apparently have what u want to do in ur heart, just came here to see how popular your decision is, anyway advice or anything here doesn't guarantee the success or the failure of your impending marraige. Mind you; LOVE AINT ENOUGH WEN YA TALKING MARRAIGE!!!!

I perceive u have eaten "kob no mi"

D problem with fucking calabar person sweet p*ssy, u just wanna own d p*ssy. I swear I don't knw wot dis calabar ladies put in dir p*ssy . Naa d p*ssy dey control d guy nothing else

what is pushing U is sex and what she have .....u have already decided just want to hear our mouth...pls QUIT ..

Flashh:


You can't even comprehend three sentences post. Where in my post did you see me claiming to advice him?

The advice I gave him was not marry her, only if you could get it.

If you want the (op) to go ahead and marry her, just pick another woman with two kids for yourself. Then come back and tell the (op) to go marry her. Yeye!



Even a jellyfish won't see my post as an insult.

So when someone support someone's advice, definitely to you, he/she has insulted the person?

I hate when people fails to understand a simple comment.

I advise you go read your initial post again.

dirk:
Guy, we are talking of a permutation of three serious factors here. U have only addressed one of them

year bruv I understand.but d fact is that our culture,our nun has really portrayed marrying a older woman or a single mum as a taboo.wit real love nd understand I tell u that woman would love him morethan any younger girl would do.but it his decision to make sha,I wish him all d best.

2 kids and older than you? por que ?

dirk:
Guy, we are talking of a permutation of three serious factors here. U have only addressed one of them

ye bruv I understand.but d fact is that our culture,our nun has really portrayed marrying a older woman or a single mum as a taboo.wit real love nd understand I tell u that woman would love him morethan any younger girl would do.but it his decision to make sha,I wish him all d best.

Hmmm...........,my dear friend,don't go near!
Wedlock is like a place besieged,those in wish to get out and those out wish to get in.
He who neva learns to look forward,remains behind;to know the way forward,ask from those coming back.
The reality is she must have seen farther;a prospect in you which she intend to capitalize upon.
Look after the kobo,and the naira will look after itself.
Remember also that,when poverty comes in via the door,love flies out via the window,and am pretty sure you wouldn't want to c the oda end of a service woman.
Judge yourself with this two questions1)Do i have the financial carrying capacity?What have i really achieved?Still a job seeker and a marital novice.
(2)Why was there a break-up after two kids?It cld probably an egocentric chauvinism from her.Just mark my words,make it first,and better ladies will come after you,then you have options to choose from.

HungerBAD:
Deep.

The truth is, we cannot choose who we will fall in love with it, and honestly, as long as you are happy in your relationship with her,then please do what your heart desires.

While it is good to be respective to our parents, we should learn how to draw that line between us and them when it comes to matters that affect our future directly.

If you want to marry her when you are settled ,approach your parents and tell them that what you need from them is their blessings, and not their money.

Goodluck.

that moment when the hammer hits the nail on the head

Bro women with kids have many things in common, they have baggage being their kids, no matter how sweet her toto tastes don't commit yourself or make d mistake of getting her pregnant, u go suffer o !!

Their kids always come first no matter how dear you are to them. They see men as bunch of scumbags. Secondly, if you correct their kids to an extent they will embarasss you in front of the kids.

I will advice you just keep fuuccking her 3 times a day buy no commit.

Irore:


When you see taking responsibility for the kids as a ministry, you will take it. I think Nigerians should gradually start doing away with the idea that it is wrong to marry an older woman. I posit that it is better to marry a woman older than you with at least 5yrs. You will understand it greater as you grow older.

This is Nigeria(Africa)

isinno:
If she left her husband 8years ago and she is 30years now deffinetly she must have started dating her ex at the age of 20 ~ Be carefull

*
How does your post co-relate with mine? Or you just feel like quoting me. Mtccheww!! Don't quote me again abeg

GboyegaD:

Why not just advice him and not insult others for their own advice.

How is that even an insult? Some people ehh.

To it just s sucid mission

cococandy:
OP If you can handle being a step parent, then you can do it.
As long as you're sure your visions align and you're compatible with her.

The only reason people are telling you to run is because of their prejudices against single mothers which stems from sexism and nothing else.
I bet if you were a single lady asking this about a single dad whom you're considering marrying, nobody would see it as taboo. Instead you may even be made to look bad for your unwillingness to jump in and be a perfect step mom for his kids.

So pls don't base your decisions on the opinions borne out is chuavinism.
Rather your real concerns should be in your ability to be a step dad to kids that aren't yours. It's not easy.
But If you believe you can pull it off, then you've nothing to worry about.

A good person is a good person regardless of whether she's a single mom or young girl that has never had a boyfriend.
Ask those who married virgin women and still ended up unhappy or divorced.

hi cococandy from my own point of view the age is the least of the issues on ground, hell I can marry an older mature woman once the love is there. but the main issue is 2 KIDS who are almost adolescents + a militarised woman whose history and background remains hazy, then compare with a 26yr old jobless graduate with very little relationship experience (he has been dating her since he was 22). it doesn't just balance, if the woman truly loves him and she doesn't have any ulterior motive(s) she should free him and look for an older more stable man, btw she's not too old herself.

If she's a good person what's unbalanced about the union?

Would you say the same if he was the one with the kids and older then her?

And what has her occupation got to do with it?
Militarized? What does that even mean

All this skepticism boils down to so much unfounded assumption and prejudice rooted in sexism. Simple and short.

Dexema:
hi cococandy from my own point of view the age is the least of the issues on ground, hell I can marry an older mature woman once the love is there. but the main issue is 2 KIDS who are almost adolescents + a militarised woman whose history and background remains hazy, then compare with a 26yr old jobless graduate with very little relationship experience (he has been dating her since he was 22). it doesn't just balance, if the woman truly loves him and she doesn't have any ulterior motive(s) she should free him and look for an older more stable man, btw she's not too old herself.

You are very much on the right path since she is a single mother and you have known the truth about her.

If she has fed you with coc-nou-mi (Calabar soup). Make sure u meet a spiritual man of God (Jehavoh) to pray for you and vomit all that you've taken and be free from all forms of temporal satanic bondage of love. Ur mama dey tell u watin she dey see as she sitdone for ground. U came dey claim say, u be graduate. Oluku.

cococandy:
If she's a good person what's unbalanced about the union?

Would you say the same if he was the one with the kids and older then her?

And what has her occupation got to do with it?
Militarized? What does that even mean

All this skepticism boils down to so much unfounded assumption and prejudice rooted in sexism. Simple and short.

there is no sexism here just plain reality, if the reverse were the case it would be allowable because the male is supposed to be the MAN in the house, or how does he act his role as a man in the house with no income? by just bleeping her? or haven't we seen cases where husbands lost their jobs and became frustrated thanks to their wives, and by the way I know what I mean by "militarised " women as I have come in contact with many force women and trust me very few of them are submissive and peaceful on the homefront .

rawpadgin:

almost everything is wrong with marrying her

1.) she's a policewoman
2.) she has 2 kids & has never been married
3.) she is older than u

young man listen to ur parents, what they are seeing sitting down u cannot see even if u climb mtn mast

Funny but true

CertifiedFreak:
Doubt if you're ready for the baggages and hassles of getting down with an older woman with two kids. Your parents prolly see this too thus their hesitation. In situations like this, love ain't enough to last you the distance. Think with your head, not your heart and those raging hormones.

...and a Police officer for that matter! Pls go and ask Godwin Anabor, what and how an older woman, a retired police officer he married dealt with him.