zemaye:

Na you know o!
The intention of the telling him the past is for what?
Women should learn how to shut it and move on.
No be by force to tell man your life history o!

it is always important to speak out and come forth with the truth about your past to your partner and let them make the choice to stay if they want to and face any problems that will arise from his/her past actions. anything built on lies and deception will never last or stand the test when the time comes!

Senorprinz:
i don't know why some people see women as baby making machines, if your fiance can't see that the role of a woman in marriage encompasses much more than making kids, maybe he needs to leave you so someone better can take his place. the most important thing is that you've made peace with God, i know you love your man but don't chase after him like you're desperate, if both of you are meant for each other he'll see reason to stick with you, if not, occupy your thoughts with productivity and educate yourself on how to be a better person, with time, you'll have no regrets whatsoever. BE STRONG, THE LORD IS WITH YOU.

The lord said go ye and multiply. Populate and start a family. So babies are the fruits of marriage. #fact
Be realistic

JerryTemi:
My Dear hear me no man born of a woman that exist in this planet earth have the right to judge you expect God in Heaven,according to the word of God which says "let him without sin throw the stone" let that guy that made himself judge against you come out and say I am without sin. The said all sins are equal before the eyes of Jehovah. OK assume you take in now and you two settle down and after marriage you had miscarriage what will then happen? I am a sinner and I always pray for His mercies which I believe endureth forever.

you preach from a religious aspect and only sighted the woman's side (probably because you see it from her perspective because she said her story)

do you know how many abortion she must have done?

maybe god was protecting the man from her!.

so don't say what you don't know.


by the way! I'm not a sinner because Jesus talketh all our sin to the cross.

this just show that you are not a strong believers and not reading ya bible.

well keep praying ignorant for what he has already conquer.


#you shall know false prophet by there words

never surprise

fullofregrets:
I am feeling so devastated right now , my fiance is leaving me , cause I open up to him , that I once had an abortion .
my fiance and I already meet with our parents , he asked of my hands in marriage, and I accepts , we have been to our parents house , but there's an issue in my side , my father don't was not really good with it , cause of cultural differences, but later agreed we can go ahead with it , so my fiance tells me I need to get pregnant , so that we will do the marriage , I agree to that , but it isn't forthcoming , so I started remembering my past , when I had an abortion , so I opened up to him cause of the love we and trust I shared with him , I have carried out possible best, I am okay but some hormonal challenges , after a month he text me , that he's no more interested in the relationship , i am full of regrets right now , I don't know what to do

Seriously not being pregnant cud just be something simple as 'PID' mostly caused by toilet disease. Go and do the test and get treated, u will tank me later.

BAck to the topic ur bF is immature period.

cutehector the professor, but wait English sef no be our mother tongue na, op u sef for write in pidgin english or your native language

sexymoma:
If na another person type wetin u type so.. u go cut im balls

My sister, you did the right thing. Have no reqrets; if he's truly yours, he'll surely come back.

Felicity2:


I know how you feel dear, confessing because you love him and just want to be honest yet you get hurt. Good thing you have learnt. My advice to you and other ladies. Never ever confess shameful or bad thing you have done to any man. Confess only to God and seek forgiveness. Anything bad thing you tell a man about you, it changes the way he sees you. He will judge you and use it against you later. Even if the man seems supportive and like a confidant. It's only a matter of time before you see the impact.

Whatever secret you have. Let it die with you as long as the secret won't destroy the man. If it will destroy someone. Don't share it nor get married. Suffer the consequence of your action alone.

Please try to connect with her so you have a chat with her over the phone.

fullofregrets:
I am full of regrets and I feel so suicidal right now , I am really depressed

by the way not all men are keen on the baby part as long as their partner is happy. you know by how untraditional he is.

if you had told him before now this wouldn't happen,gals and secrets if you had told him before now this wouldn't happen,gals and secrets

[b][/b]

Harrisee:
Remember he said he wants you to get pregnant before marriage. So he would still have left you even if you didn't tell him about the abortion, since you can't conceive. Infact without a baby in your womb, he wouldn't marry you whether abortion or no abortion. So you see why youths are warned to stay off premarital sex. Believe me if you were a virgin, that guy wouldn't give you that condition. Its because he doesn't trust your past ( even without you telling him). Also you have no justification to feel suicidal since you have committed murder yourself. You murdered a child who could be a parent tomorrow. You destroyed a lineage. But it can only be well if you go to Jesus Christ on your knees, and plead for forgiveness. Then ABSTAIN from premarital sex. That's what leads to abortion. I wouldn't like to marry a lady with an abortion case myself. It brings generational curse.

Believe me if you were a virgin, that guy wouldn't give you that condition. ..exactly my thought

fullofregrets:
I am feeling so devastated right now , my fiance is leaving me , cause I open up to him , that I once had an abortion .
my fiance and I already meet with our parents , he asked of my hands in marriage, and I accepts , we have been to our parents house , but there's an issue in my side , my father don't was not really good with it , cause of cultural differences, but later agreed we can go ahead with it , so my fiance tells me I need to get pregnant , so that we will do the marriage , I agree to that , but it isn't forthcoming , so I started remembering my past , when I had an abortion , so I opened up to him cause of the love we and trust I shared with him , I have carried out possible best, I am okay but some hormonal challenges , after a month he text me , that he's no more interested in the relationship , i am full of regrets right now , I don't know what to do

If God has not come to the world to condemn, who is he to judge?.. From the points you've given its obvious he's not a Christian so I'd advice you let him go.. He should be lucky that you were truthful, there are some cases where the individuals have children for someone else but they still love one another. My advice, MOVE ON and STAY STRONG and please prayerfully choose your partner.. I'd also advice you to be plain and truthful always and not when pressure comes .

Like seriously, lets not apportion blames here,not every man can withstand it. Its logical thinking ,he want u to have a baby ,u guys tried all to no avail ,he later found out u had an abortion , my sis u cant blame him,i think u should have to him from onset. If he want to stay he stays , secrets destroys, pls dont take the advice of keeping mum pls. But hey don't worry abt a thing cos every little thing is gonna b alright .

fullofregrets:
I am feeling so devastated right now , my fiance is leaving me , cause I open up to him , that I once had an abortion .
my fiance and I already meet with our parents , he asked of my hands in marriage, and I accepts , we have been to our parents house , but there's an issue in my side , my father don't was not really good with it , cause of cultural differences, but later agreed we can go ahead with it , so my fiance tells me I need to get pregnant , so that we will do the marriage , I agree to that , but it isn't forthcoming , so I started remembering my past , when I had an abortion , so I opened up to him cause of the love we and trust I shared with him , I have carried out possible best, I am okay but some hormonal challenges , after a month he text me , that he's no more interested in the relationship , i am full of regrets right now , I don't know what to do

Please don't do anything careless. Just pull yourself together. Somebody out there really understands what you feel right now ; he also cares. You're still precious and I will certainly love to contact you later in the day.

Like seriously, lets not apportion blames here,not every man can withstand it. Its logical thinking ,he want u to have a baby ,u guys tried all to no avail ,he later found out u had an abortion , my sis u cant blame him,i think u should have told him from onset. If he want to stay he stays , secrets destroys, pls dont take the advice of keeping mum pls. But hey don't worry abt a thing cos every little thing is gonna b alright .

Harrisee:
Remember he said he wants you to get pregnant before marriage. So he would still have left you even if you didn't tell him about the abortion, since you can't conceive. Infact without a baby in your womb, he wouldn't marry you whether abortion or no abortion. So you see why youths are warned to stay off premarital sex. Believe me if you were a virgin, that guy wouldn't give you that condition. Its because he doesn't trust your past ( even without you telling him). Also you have no justification to feel suicidal since you have committed murder yourself. You murdered a child who could be a parent tomorrow. You destroyed a lineage. But it can only be well if you go to Jesus Christ on your knees, and plead for forgiveness. Then ABSTAIN from premarital sex. That's what leads to abortion. I wouldn't like to marry a lady with an abortion case myself. It brings generational curse.

thank you!

to be honest even me too won't want to marry a woman who committed murder (abortion)

no past is hidden! one way or the other the guy will peradventure know and let say you hid it and you marry him (just as how many women are telling you that you should have hide it) if the guy later find out did you think he will still love you and stick with you?

it really pains me why women don't think at all.

I have seen cases like this and those men will hate there wife to the core which will lead to maltreating her and many do divorce that instant.

Cutehector:
lmao... I don't think he'd have left if he asked another woman in his past to commit abortion...

Maybe the woman wey abort cuz of the guy never still born for her own home. Abortion these days no be like those days, Women wey commit am these days dey born. Make God help person ni A friend that did 7 before marriage dey born anyhow. So my dear I'm not here to ask if your womb Don commot, mbaa, but I know you will definitely get married.

bettercreature:
Ladies always tell their brother at some point,i dont know the reason but 98% of them do tell

Thank God I'm one of the 2%

goingape1:
you preach from a religious aspect and only sighted the woman's side (probably because you see it from her perspective because she said her story)

do you know how many abortion she must have done?

maybe god was protecting the man from her!.

so don't say what you don't know.


by the way! I'm not a sinner because Jesus talketh all our sin to the cross.

this just show that you are not a strong believers and not reading ya bible.

well keep praying ignorant for what he has already conquer.


#you shall know false prophet by there words

never surprise

you really don't have the right to judge humans cuz you are human. Let he who is without sin be the first to cast a stone

adedayoa2:
Maybe the woman wey abort cuz of the guy never still born for her own home. Abortion these days no be like those days, Women wey commit am these days dey born. Make God help person ni A friend that did 7 before marriage dey born anyhow. So my dear I'm not here to ask if your womb Don commot, mbaa, but I know you will definitely get married.

thank God I don mark your face!

for you to say this you fit be the mother of abortion.

God no go allow me see people like you marry.

you even dey follows bad bad frds self.

show me your frds and I shall tell you who you are.

The only sentence I can pick from what u wrote was I try to remember my past. Are u saying u have forgotten all ur past or its just a camouflage.

Please my dear work away majestically..4 d guy 2 mke you get pregnant b4 he marries you is an insult to your person. it means he doesn't trust ur womanhood, it means he doubt weather you dn't hve a womb...bt d fact dat you hve had an abortion b4 proved dat you are a real woman. n telling him d truth is d best way out, because d broken relationship is beta than a broken marriage...bt pls ask God to forgve you..tke care.

sexymoma:
My sister move on
E don hapin, E don hapin
you can't change the fact that it has happened


We Open Up....Gbege
We Nor Open Up.... Gbege
My sister u don do your own restitution be dat ooo

Trust me, being open is sure the best way in a serious relationship, some people can't handle their partner's past, they shouldn't be blame for that. @op simply moveon, and hopefully you will find someone who xcan accept your past

adedayoa2:
you really don't have the right to judge humans cuz you are human. Let he who is without sin be the first to cast a stone

who is judging humans?

what did Jesus tell the woman?

go and sin no more!

don't use a verse to suit you.

habsydiamond:
The only sentence I can pick from what u wrote was I try to remember my past. Are u saying u have forgotten all ur past or its just a camouflage.

lolzzz.

what I do know is that a woman can't do an abortion once! it is either from 3 and above.

she must have been doing it before she started thinking of settling down.

karma is just obeying his law

fullofregrets:




my dear , you are right ,
we learn everyday ,
sometimes in just a hard way ,
I just wish he can give me chance to make things right again , but he refused to hear my pleas, he said he's fed up , and ready to find another girl , and impregnate her , well I can only wish him luck , am not bad either , God will surely send my own husband and children my way , I moved on already ,

I once created a thread that love does not exist and i get justified each day.

I am not patting you on the head for having an abortion in the past but if the guy truly desires you, he won't break up with you cos of this.

Thank you very much! A round of applause to you

pippimp:


Lol. Most people don't know that it is not everything you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend or even fiancee. You have to know what to say, when to say it, and how to say it. Our minds are very fragile and aren't many things it can handle. It's like me telling my wife all the sexcapades i did when i was in college. I would need a mental evaluation for that to happen. I don't want to know what she did before me and i ain't gonna blab my past. Unless she was a serial mass murderer, i don't wanna know. The past is the past for a reason. Mistakes are bound to happen.

ItsQuinn:
Thank you very much! A round of applause to you

Oh so which do u think would be more hurtful, hearing a partner's past from a third party or from the partner him/herself... This is why a lot of relationship/marriages don't last

Forget the dude. Making pregnancy a precondition for marriage shows that he was not in love with you. No, he did not leave you because of the abortion. He left you because he pressumed that you won't translate into an efficient baby factory. Move on already please. Otherwise, except you're 50+, the fact that you stooped that low to accept the crap from him makes me speechless.

fullofregrets:
I am feeling so devastated right now , my fiance is leaving me , cause I open up to him , that I once had an abortion .
my fiance and I already meet with our parents , he asked of my hands in marriage, and I accepts , we have been to our parents house , but there's an issue in my side , my father don't was not really good with it , cause of cultural differences, but later agreed we can go ahead with it , so my fiance tells me I need to get pregnant , so that we will do the marriage , I agree to that , but it isn't forthcoming , so I started remembering my past , when I had an abortion , so I opened up to him cause of the love we and trust I shared with him , I have carried out possible best, I am okay but some hormonal challenges , after a month he text me , that he's no more interested in the relationship , i am full of regrets right now , I don't know what to do

pippimp:


Lol. Most people don't know that it is not everything you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend or even fiancee. You have to know what to say, when to say it, and how to say it. Our minds are very fragile and aren't many things it can handle. It's like me telling my wife all the sexcapades i did when i was in college. I would need a mental evaluation for that to happen. I don't want to know what she did before me and i ain't gonna blab my past. Unless she was a serial mass murderer, i don't wanna know. The past is the past for a reason. Mistakes are bound to happen.

Oh so which do u think would be more hurtful, hearing a partner's past from a third party or from the partner him/herself... This is why a lot of relationship/marriages don't last

1. You had unprotected se*x and abortion(s) now you are shedding CrocodileTears.
2. You did not marry the guy(s) u had abortion(s) for cos he(there) might be married, does not like u as a wife, or he is not a husband material or is not ready or u don't even know them or several other variables.
3a. You can not get pregnant for now cos 80% chance due to your past life. Karma is a bitc*h
3b. You should thank God you don't have HIV/Aids
4. You did not let your greatest secrets out to your fiancée until it was difficult to get pregnant or may be he found out from the Doctors report or he confronted you to confess or he asked God to exposed you to him or you confessed under duress or willingly.
5. You want to kill yourself(another sin) after killing your baby(s) how many life's do u want to take.
7. You came to Nairaland with  @fullofregret to find a way out.
8. Your story does not show that you are sorry for your past, it shows that you are full of regrets for letting one of your secrets out.
9. You did not show remorse or repentance on your abortion(s) rather you are full of regrets for letting one of your greatest secrets out
10a. Your are selfish and self centred and have not used your case to advise other Nairaland sisters.
10b. Will you advise your son (if he was born) or brother to marry someone like you.
10. sotto voce: “Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.” Oscar Wilde.
11. No matter your condition God can rescue you, keep praying and intensify medical procedures for child birth.
12. You need to show in your words that you are truly sorry and have truly repented.
13. You need to use your case as a turning point for other Nairaland sisters ( and brothers) and I hope we all learn from your mistakes.
14. I pray your problems come to past, you get married, have children, pursue your dreams and CrocodileSmiles.
15. I wish you Goodluck.

So you expect him to be happy and clap for you after telling him,imagine if he told you he had fertility issues and pregnancy is now difficult for you. Would you still be with him?My dear the deed has been done, you can't rewind time;just move on.Life goes on

goingape1:
I pray your sister or your child will do what you are advising.

and I pray you will marrying a woman who have done multiple homicide (abortion) and I pray you will have a healthy home with blessed children.


keep putting cursed on yourself

Bro, I'm married with kids already. All my sisters are happily married with kids too. Do you know how many girls out there that have done abortion? Most married couple have done that too. Go and ask your doctor, you will be shocked from what he will say. It's a normal thing for married peeps. Not saying I have done it shaa.