fullofregrets:




my dear , you are right ,
we learn everyday ,
sometimes in just a hard way ,
I just wish he can give me chance to make things right again , but he refused to hear my pleas, he said he's fed up , and ready to find another girl , and impregnate her , well I can only wish him luck , am not bad either , God will surely send my own husband and children my way , I moved on already ,

My dear your decision to move on, is the best you can do now, instead of begging for his love when he doesn't love you truly. And another thing you should know is that; had it been you didn't open up to him, you could've gotten yourself into a kinda marriage that will make you cry your eyes out everyday. What is in the future is bigger if you certainly believe.
Tell God that you're so sorry and He will correct the hormonal imbalance in your body and make you whole again.

Toks2008:


I once created a thread that love does not exist and i get justified each day.

I am not patting you on the head for having an abortion in the past but if the guy truly desires you, he won't break up with you cos of this.

He's not even sure the next girl is better. Most girls refuse to say it.

goingape1:
who is judging humans?

what did Jesus tell the woman?

go and sin no more!

don't use a verse to suit you.

But you also commit sin but differently. Have you stopped committing sins even as Jesus told the woman ?

komododragons:
thank God I don mark your face!

for you to say this you fit be the mother of abortion.

God no go allow me see people like you marry.

you even dey follows bad bad frds self.

show me your frds and I shall tell you who you are.

Hahahahaaaaaa, you better pray for your own. I fit be mother of abortion. Father of wetin you be?

This is the painful part when the person u trust the most, is the one will fvcked u up instead of listening to u and understand what uv been thru...





Ohh well, OP tats great tat u open up to him.. But hes not man enaf to accept ur past... Let it be and move on. Some how, some where, there will be a man who gone accept u no matter what... Good luck

fullofregrets:
I am feeling so devastated right now , my fiance is leaving me , cause I open up to him , that I once had an abortion .
my fiance and I already meet with our parents , he asked of my hands in marriage, and I accepts , we have been to our parents house , but there's an issue in my side , my father don't was not really good with it , cause of cultural differences, but later agreed we can go ahead with it , so my fiance tells me I need to get pregnant , so that we will do the marriage , I agree to that , but it isn't forthcoming , so I started remembering my past , when I had an abortion , so I opened up to him cause of the love we and trust I shared with him , I have carried out possible best, I am okay but some hormonal challenges , after a month he text me , that he's no more interested in the relationship , i am full of regrets right now , I don't know what to do

What exactly are you trying to achieve with this your post?

Let me guess: You are trying to incite other women that IT IS WRONG TO OPEN-UP TO THEIR FIANCE while you seek comfort in our sympathy.

That fine, now that they have got your message, lets take a closer look at it.
First, your fiance is not leaving you simply because "You opened Up YOUR SECRET to him". There is more to it than you have said.
For example, you did not tell us how long this relationship is but l will guess it has been on for a long time, for you to have met your parents and agree to tie the knot.
Question is: Why is he just knowing NOW, that you have had an abortion?
WHY have you kept it a secret from him, all this while?
If you really love him, that should have been the first thing you put on the table - No SECRETS.

Again, you said you have been having challenges with conception.
I am sure your fiance would have done everything possible in the past to assist you to conceive but it was just not happening.
WHY did you not tell him all these while, that you have been pregnant before and aborted it (nothing bad in that, its better than being saddled with an unwanted child, IMO) but it could have assisted both of you to "properly direct your efforts" in your quest to be pregnant.

*Maybe you have forgotten all the lies you have told him, concerning issues like that?
*Maybe you have given him the impression that you never had any "serious" relationship in the past and he is wondering how such person could have had an abortion?
*Maybe the abortion even came during a period you had lied to him that you had no boyfriend?
*Maybe it was even during the midst of your current relationship?
*Maybe he 'guessed before' now and you denied flatly back then....now you are at wits-end and confessing?


I am certain that a man who has met your parents has genuine interest in marrying you and wont take the decision to break-up, lightly.
I am also certain that your not conceiving has something to do with the abortion, "maybe" it wasn't properly done and your man is thinking: Will she ever be able to have children again?

WHAT WILL YOU DO IF YOU DISCOVER THAT IT WAS HIS SPERM-FACTORY THAT WAS DEAD (AND HE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN EVER AGAIN) AS A RESULT OF A DISEASE HE CONTACTED WHEN HE WAS VISITING AN ASHAWO, BACK THEN.... WOULD YOU STICK WITH HIM FOR LIFE OR ASK HIM TO 'FREE YOU'?

While l have a lot of sympathy for your situation (conception) and l think it can be over-come, l also think coming here to "bad-mouth" your future husband is a "bad sign" and if l were him and l get to read this, l would certainly have doubts about you.

You simply want to paint him as "The Devil", on Social media (God knows how many people you would have told the same one-sided story to? )

What if he was just pissed-off and would come around eventually (if your story is exactly as you put it)..... and then he reads what you said about him?
Then he will really be justified.

HONESTY pays.... but "Selective Honesty" (saying the truth when it is convenient or serves your own purpose or defends your position) is AS BAD AS LYING.

If he is truly convinced that "you opened-up to him based on LOVE & TRUST between the two of you", l will bet my balls that He will be back after awhile....
But if he thinks you cough-up for other reasons that are not altruistic, then you have closed your own case yourself.

I am still wondering WHY you did not tell him all these years, despite your pregnancy difficulty?

Wish you the best, whatever happens.




Lastpage!

ItsQuinn:
Now you've learnt your lesson, next time you would keep your mouth shut ....just move on abeg, you spoilt what you had by yourself

This is EXACTLY the reaction she was hoping for.

But even at that, the truth has a way of coming out,...eventually.



Lastpage!

fullofregrets:
I am full of regrets and I feel so suicidal right now , I am really depressed

Relax... time heal all wounds.
if you are HONEST about it (the event, the circumstance, the confession)...and the God in you (conscience) discharges you, everything will be alright. He will come back.
God has never allowed the Righteous to suffer. If it should happen, its only for awhile and joy cometh in large bounds afterwards

But if your conscience condemns you, you are condemned. I hope not.

And l am even thinking: What if God is desperately preventing you from marrying this particular man, for reasons that HE knows and we dont?
I have "seen things" enough to always commit important things to God in prayer. If it happens fine, if it does not (as long as l have committed it to God's hand and l am not the one hindering my own prayer)... then So be it.
God wins.

Have faith. Go on your knees and seek the face of God. After that, let God take control of your destiny.
Take whatever comes with FAITH.
If you are honest, continue to be honest, add righteousness to it (l did not say you should become a "head-tying" S.U oooo ), faith is in the heart of man, not in nay building or in any other humanbeing.
Your relationship with God is in your heart



Lastpage!

rebella:
@fullofregrets , you had an abortion the deed has been done. Personally I think instead of crying, you should thank God for making you avoid a fair weather husband, that is someone that will only be good to you when the going is good. That man didn't love you. When a man starts saying you should get pregnant first before the marriage can hold, that's a warning sign.

I know you probably miss him a lot, but remember a broken relationship is better than a broken home.

Just saw this:

Did it also occur to you that there might have been things the man saw (warning signs, as you put it), to make him insist he wants to be sure the marriage can bear fruits (even as God commanded), before putting his head into it?

Or is it not in this world where women (and men too) do all sort of things in their spinsterhood, only to come back to look for one mugun husband to settle with?
Go to churches and go and see them.... dem dey do worker" because dem dey find one mugun brother.

"Shine your eye" nor be Dog name, abeg.



Lastpage!

lonelydora:


Bro, I'm married with kids already. All my sisters are happily married with kids too. Do you know how many girls out there that have done abortion? Most married couple have done that too. Go and ask your doctor, you will be shocked from what he will say. It's a normal thing for married peeps. Not saying I have done it shaa.

if there are many girls out there who have done it doesn't mean we should just accept it and embrace them with open hand and forget there evil deed.

all this stuff have some certain implications in life.

someone got to pay for what she had done either by her child or her womb.

we don't advise people to take this stuff so light.

it is like saying women are doing it so therefore my daughter will do it in the future and get away with it.

let be honest if you find out your wife and daughter has done it will you take it so lightly in your heart!

at least you got a conscience

dollyjoy:
It's good you opened up to him, a broken relationship is better than a broken or loveless marriage.

Btw what is the doctor report? Is your womb damaged?

Amebo. See pretence. hun. This is more than a broken relationship. They are betrothed to each other. "It sad." that is the word you ought to use Dolly.

She has spoken the truth. the truth will set her free.

Aboki4inside:

Oh so which do u think would be more hurtful, hearing a partner's past from a third party or from the partner him/herself... This is why a lot of relationship/marriages don't last

That's the problem with people. They get married and act like they are still single. Facebooking, twittering, Instagraming and all that nonsense. St.upidly advertising their lives. Hear what from who? It is only people who like gossiping and listening to s.tupid shiit that have time for that crap.
I have been married for almost two decades and the number one thing that i learn't real quick is to shut out friends and family members from me and my wife's shiit. When we fight, it stays between us, unlike most m.orons who want to tell everyone and or advertise it on facebook. The whole point is, avoid listening to, or allowing people into your lives and they won't have the time to tell you rubbish.

rebella:
@fullofregrets , you had an abortion the deed has been done. Personally I think instead of crying, you should thank God for making you avoid a fair weather husband, that is someone that will only be good to you when the going is good. That man didn't love you. When a man starts saying you should get pregnant first before the marriage can hold, that's a warning sign.

I know you probably miss him a lot, but remember a broken relationship is better than a broken home.

what is this one even saying

the time she was busy fvcking and aborting did she or did she not know that God has already prepared a better man for her and she has wasted her opportunity to secure a man god has given her.

getting pregnant first or fvkcing and aborting what is the different

Do you think God is a fool!

you women will think you can do anything and get away with it.

that man may have been the one god has already prepare for her but she has wasted it due to her past.


can you even look yourself in the mirror and repeat this rubbish you have said


birds of the same feathers.

goingape1:
if there are many girls out there who have done it doesn't mean we should just accept it and embrace them with open hand and forget there evil deed.

all this stuff have some certain implications in life.

someone got to pay for what she had done either by her child or her womb.

we don't advise people to take this stuff so light.

it is like saying women are doing it so therefore my daughter will do it in the future and get away with it.

let be honest if you find out your wife and daughter has done it will you take it so lightly in your heart!

at least you got a conscience

I won't take it lightly. At least she confessed, and that means true repentance. She could have decided to keep it to herself as most girls do, and the man will still go ahead with the marriage. After all, it's the same bible that said we should confess and our sins forgiven.

Abortion is wrong on all fronts but the man shouldn't have called off the marriage. Fear kills faster than any other thing. Why do most 'Ashewo' get married and have kids?

Hmmm...Truth is,if I was your fiance,I will also leave on..

OP you dodged a bullet.

Any man that request you to get pregnant before marriage is not committed.

Perhaps you are giving signs of being desperate for marriage. If so you need to check this.

You learnt your lesson next, time only disclose if after 2 years of trying to conceive in marriage.

fullofregrets:
I am full of regrets and I feel so suicidal right now , I am really depressed

Pls, don't be offended but how old are you?

How experienced are you in dating?
You could say you are experienced because you've had abortion in the past but then, I feel you've been dating the wrong men.

Quit being depressed over losing a man who doesn't love you.
Don't lose your sleep over a man who has no second faith in you.
A man who only sees you as a baby making vessel.

I could go on and on.

Oh yea, I condemn your past mistake but you've confirmed your womb wasn't damaged.
All you need is real love, sound support system and encouragement from your spouse and God will surely bless you both.

He's a God of second chance whose faith in people never wavers even when they drown themselves in sin and abortions.

A man that truly loves you should believe in you as walk through your depths of hopelessness.

And common, he should honour and keep your secrets if he's a man.

You were either in love with a boy or a wrong man.

I dated a girl for a few years. But within me, i felt she was hiding something. Before we started dating, i told her to tell me every dark side of her, she said non. I told her my dark sides cos i know nothing is hiden under the sun. Told her how i participated in wild or.gies, how i loved the idea of snatching people's gf etc. But not into that life anymore. She still never said anything about herself. I stated it clearly that if i got to find out anything she did in the past that am not ok with, i will break up even if we become married for 90 years.
Few months ago, she got drunk and started talking sht she has done.
How she liked and got bangd by group of millitary guys severally,
How she partook in some very sick fetish i can't explain here, abortions etc.
I broke up with her same day.
Always good to either say those socalled "unsayable" things early or forever remain silent.

fullofregrets:
I am feeling so devastated right now , my fiance is leaving me , cause I open up to him , that I once had an abortion .
my fiance and I already meet with our parents , he asked of my hands in marriage, and I accepts , we have been to our parents house , but there's an issue in my side , my father don't was not really good with it , cause of cultural differences, but later agreed we can go ahead with it , so my fiance tells me I need to get pregnant , so that we will do the marriage , I agree to that , but it isn't forthcoming , so I started remembering my past , when I had an abortion , so I opened up to him cause of the love we and trust I shared with him , I have carried out possible best, I am okay but some hormonal challenges , after a month he text me , that he's no more interested in the relationship , i am full of regrets right now , I don't know what to do

my dear, just let him go, God did not create woman primarily for the purpose of bearing children for a man but to be his companion. the absence of someone to keep the man company was what brought about the idea of creating woman. if your man has chosen the secondary over the primary, he is already reading the manual of your union from the back to the front and with that, this may just be d beginning of trouble with him so I will advise you free him.
He may even be the reason why you are yet to conceive, reason being that stress can reduce your chances of conception. his pressure on you to get pregnant and the thought of your past could build up to a reasonable stress. as one with such past having a man that will say all is well is what u need.

fullofregrets:
I am full of regrets and I feel so suicidal right now , I am really depressed

Which kain regret, ehn, which kain suicidal? Abegi, clean ya eye go chop beta food, rest ur mind in your Creator.

Fine girl like you dey talk yeye talk say you dey suicidal ontop all the other toasters wey still dey disturb you.

See, if the guy didn't come back, then he never really loved you,ok? And you for don hear am later one way or the other.

But, na your fault. You sef furrk up small. You dey open leg anyhow, d guy chop you finish, still dey ask for pregnancy...you better go and repent and pray say God should bring you your own real man, not all this fair-weather chop&clean mouth 1chance semi-husbands wey desperation dey push you to.

Open your brain down....

....and close your legs!

E go better!

fullofregrets:
I am feeling so devastated right now , my fiance is leaving me , cause I open up to him , that I once had an abortion .
my fiance and I already meet with our parents , he asked of my hands in marriage, and I accepts , we have been to our parents house , but there's an issue in my side , my father don't was not really good with it , cause of cultural differences, but later agreed we can go ahead with it , so my fiance tells me I need to get pregnant , so that we will do the marriage , I agree to that , but it isn't forthcoming , so I started remembering my past , when I had an abortion , so I opened up to him cause of the love we and trust I shared with him , I have carried out possible best, I am okay but some hormonal challenges , after a month he text me , that he's no more interested in the relationship , i am full of regrets right now , I don't know what to do

You did the Right thing at the Wrong time....
and it would have been worse of if you told him when u were Married, He will fill betrayed...
But it's never to late to take things to God in prayers...

fullofregrets:
I am feeling so devastated right now , my fiance is leaving me , cause I open up to him , that I once had an abortion .
my fiance and I already met with our parents , he asked of my hands in marriage, and I accepts , we have been to our parents house , but there's was an issue in my side , my father don't feel good with it , cause of cultural differences, but later agreed we can go ahead with it , so my fiance tells me I need to get pregnant , so that we will do the marriage , I agree to that , but it isn't forthcoming , so I started remembering my past , when I had an abortion , so I opened up to him cause of the love and trust I shared with him , I have carried out possible test, I am okay but battling [color=#990000][/color]some hormonal challenges , after a month he text me , that he's no more interested in the relationship , i am full of regrets right now , I don't know what to do

Corrected most of your errors ,
You did the right thing telling him,
But very wrong of you ,
Why did you accepts such demands from him,
That's also a sin to God ,
If he's yours he will come back to you ,
God never forsakes his own ,
Repent from your ways and turn to God ,
He's the only one that saves

ItsQuinn:
suicidal thoughts because of a man? ....you are a disgrace to womanhood

I guess you have never been in love before....Not everyone is as cold-hearted as you!

Some people and LIKE self. Someone wrote her predicament only for some people to LIKE it

THERE IS ONE SIMPLE ANSWER DARLING..."HE IS NOT THE ONE".

One cannot blame the guy.

Cutehector:
whch one is gbege? U want d innocent man to not have kids? Pls abeg. She understands that it's all her fault so she shouldn't act all surprised he left.

What is wrong with our populace?

Even full untouched virgins have delayed conception. While not advocating for abortions, but the fact remains that this may or may not be the reason for the delayed conception.

Unless this fiancé has gotten someone pregnant in the recent past, we cannot even rule out the possibility of the problem coming from him, either partially or wholly.

If he has indeed gotten someone pregnant and aborted it( or maybe the child is somewhere), he is no different from the fiancée.

fullofregrets:




my dear , you are right ,
we learn everyday ,
sometimes in just a hard way ,
I just wish he can give me chance to make things right again , but he refused to hear my pleas, he said he's fed up , and ready to find another girl , and impregnate her , well I can only wish him luck , am not bad either , God will surely send my own husband and children my way , I moved on already ,

that's the spirit. You might have just saved yourself from the wrong person.

Don't worry, if it's not meant to be, then it's not. The one for you will come.

wahihi:
WHY DID YOU HAVE AN ABORTION IF I MAY ASK? YOU THINK LIFE IS ABOUT FLEXING THEN NOW SEE WHAT ITS CAUSING YOU I HOPE OTHER STUPID GIRLS OUTSIDE LIKE YOU WILL LEARN FROM THIS.

Until you walk in someone's shoes, don't be so quick to judge them.

We do not know the basis of how she got pregnant the last time. Was it a rape, incest, abandonment, death etc? Perhaps another charming young man who insisted she got pregnant before he introduces her to his family and then ran off??

She has not told us(or maybe I missed it). Pls just advice her, address the issue of abortion; but not the offender.

VikingsOO7:


Then why did You tell him bout Your abortion? To make him love You more or what biko?

Some things are better left unsaid.

Mehn.. Best on this thread.

Kudos!

Its not everything you tell a man cause you love him, especially when you don't know how he reacts to some issues.

ItsQuinn:
Now you've learnt your lesson, next time you would keep your mouth shut ....just move on abeg, you spoilt what you had by yourself

if you happen to be the type of friend my girlfriend or wife have, i won't just leave her. I will Just Pack out of Her Life. You need to change.

goingape1:
you preach from a religious aspect and only sighted the woman's side (probably because you see it from her perspective because she said her story)

do you know how many abortion she must have done?

maybe god was protecting the man from her!.

so don't say what you don't know.


by the way! I'm not a sinner because Jesus talketh all our sin to the cross.

this just show that you are not a strong believers and not reading ya bible.

well keep praying ignorant for what he has already conquer.


#you shall know false prophet by there words

never surprise

You should take your own advice as you also don't know the details above.

All Jerry is saying is that all sins are equal. While not a basis for defense, even if she had done 10 abortions, how many sins of fornication for example has the man done? That is my understanding of Jerry's response.