valarinz:
Africans, NIGERIANS, third world countries, we all have one thing in common : producing babies like rats irrespective of whether we can provide QUALITY livelihood for those kids

Our economy is dying, infrastructure non existent or decaying, and yet all we think about is produce more population to weigh down on the little infrastructure and social amenities we have left

Check the pattern, the wealthy nations and also the wealthy ones in our country too, don't see this marriage and producing babies thing as an accomplishment, most times you'll see just a kid or two and the best quality of life is provided for them, but it's from those broke niggas or the average struggling ones that you keep hearing marry marry marry, born born born, that's the highest accomplishment

It beats my imagination how some people assume that producing babies like rats is the only thing that can make a man/woman happy and fulfilled in life. How can someone who was raised in a struggling home filled with poverty want to quickly rush and bring in kids to experience the same suffering they went through

What's the point of having 7 kids at the age of 50 and the best yoh can offer them is public schools of #2000 school fees, is it not better to have 2 kids at 50 and provide quality education and upbringing to that kid, is it not better for both you and society

We keep producing prospective issues for the society, touts, thiefs, prostitutes, just name it, someone who doesn't even have sufficient to financial backing to withstand multiple emergencies will be pressured into marriage and it will be hailed as an accomplishment, and 20yrs from now, we'll want whoever is the president to turn nigeria to usa overnight

Why do countries like China now have their govt enforcing a population cap by legally allowing only one kid per household, despite being so better off than us in all aspects, yet as poor as we are as a country we keep pressuring our young ones to keep marrying and producing babies

The president of united States has only two kids, daughters for that matter, I have never heard any outrage from his countrymen, imagine if this was a nigerian.

This is how most of my friends who bowed to society pressure and entered the eternal rat race in the name of marriage and kids keep asking for financial help every now and then, and next thing you'll see a post on fb with them and the kids saying how God is doing it and they're so happy, the ones who are not yet into it will be fooled.

It is well

Respect bro. Well said.

gokuu:


And all the men running around are saints with all the decency in the world.

Kettle/Pot

=to black.

Malayy:
so that I will age and die early, due to stress and frustration..
I will make billions first, before thinking of getting married.

u will die single

banjo022:
u will die single

same with you

micflo28:
Truth be told, i quite agree with him, though am 28 and looking forward to getting married soonest, most guys my age range spend lavishly on irrelevant things, beer, women, party etc and when its late they begin to regret not settling down earlier with the humane wealth they had.

My guy life is full of regrets. Those who married early sometimes regret it while those who didn't wish they had. Everyone wishes for what they don't have. This is what happens when you measure success against another person's idea of success.

Tyler Perry's first son came when he was 45 years old in the midst of a strong career. He's not complaining abi you want to complain on his behalf? Anna Jarvis who initiated the Modern mothers day celebrations had neither child nor husband.

There's so much to do in this world beyond borning children upandan. When you die and go nobody will remember you apart from the fact that you born pikin.

Berbierklaus:
One thing I have come to realize in this life is that ONE rule does not work for ALL.

Anybody will agree with me that it is a hell of a task for a couple to be married and have kids coming in with little or no means of survival or even comfortability eg an apartment,steady allowance enough to cater for basic needs like feeding,schooling and health care.

I think this advice is flawed,because most young men at 24-26 are yet to find their feet,some are not even matured enough to cohabit with a woman,and all these factors could cause a strain in marriage which could lead to other things entirely.

The best thing to do when it comes to marriage as a man,is know what works for you and the woman you are planning to marry,because its not about getting married,its about sustaining the marriage.
I on my part will not settle down for manage manage,my kids must have what I couldn't have which is why I am hustling to compliment that lucky man that I end up with.

@ Dominique,if those potentials are not feasible most women won't go for it,I for example. A lot of people have potentials but I won't eat potentials,I will eat the result.

U want result abi. . ..ok

cool story bro

Quintessential1:

The truth is when you have "money," yes, there'll be girls in their droves. But these are girls who'll only see you as means to to an end. As a security! And they'll do nothing but pretend they love you. Trust me, girls pretend like crazy! And with their high end pretence, you'll end up being saddled with a wife who doesn't quite love you for you, but who has chosen to get married to the best available financial option she had.

How myopic! ! so you're saying "rich guys" never get true love and all ladies are broke that they need men to finance their lives? smh

Berbierklaus:

Please sir,try and always take your brains along with your eyes anytime you come across my comment on Nairaland,it will do you a lot of good In a bid to make your A'hole comment you probably skipped where I typed



Any sane person knows I wasn't referring to literal 'eating' but I am not in the position to ascertain your mental state so I will pass on that

Lastly happy new year too sir,may you use your assimilating facilities more this year in Jesus name

Hard punch below the belt

Quintessential1:
Honestly, what this guy is saying is the truth. We aren't about being broke here. As long as you can feed yourself and at least 2/3 extra mouths without begging, then you can get married if you find a woman who loves you and who you love in return.

The truth is when you have "money," yes, there'll be girls in their droves. But these are girls who'll only see you as means to to an end. As a security! And they'll do nothing but pretend they love you. Trust me, girls pretend like crazy! And with their high end pretence, you'll end up being saddled with a wife who doesn't quite love you for you, but who has chosen to get married to the best available financial option she had.

The best bet is to marry a lady who has something to bring to the table....if a man makes 30k a month and the woman makes 30k a month and the guy has a roof over his head then go on and do an intro and registry marriage then plan for the big one when the money comes.

With 60k you two can start a life and feed even one more mouth while you both work harder to make life better.

My example is for the worst case scenario.

If you like say until you become a million aire before you marry...your risk cos you can only work hard and wish you make that millions fast enough.

Never in my life will I ever make the mistake of getting into an affair with a lady who has nothing doing...it's a total risk and serious frustration as she will pour all her needs on you.

Laveda:
The title of this thread is misleading.

Hehehe

ikp120:
The guy said "what am I supposed to be? Their grand father?" Wrong answer man! You're supposed to be their ancestor

Hahahahahahh

U r so wicked!

nigeriancuban:
okay, maybe he is not an animal but only someone who is not in school(university or secondary) and don't have any youth service to worry about will have such thoughts going through his mind....


Is getting a kid he main priority? Ain't you gonna put the kids in school,ain't you gonna give hem the best education so they can be useful to themselves? Well Its obvious that the guys doesn't even have such thoughts in his mind, maybe the children go go learn work(him tol)

No its not my brother. I'm just saying let's not neglect the important things for the urgent ones. Raise a home. And I don't like all this comments about how you'll raise them. People have been doing that from time immemorial, and doing it well. What's the essence of working if you and your wife can't give them the life they deserve? Must we 'born' 7,8,9 kids before we stop? Make we use our tongue count teeth abeg.

PresVA:
How myopic! ! so you're saying "rich guys" never get true love and all ladies are broke that they need a men to finance their lives? smh

It's not a generalization... Far from it. But that's what is obtainable.

He's only 30 and his crying, what about couples that have been married for 20yrs without kids? What will he expect then to do.?

What about those who married at 22 that divorced 2 years later with broken homes and abandoned kids?

What about those who married at 22 that have become widows, and widowers?

Does he think the people who are single in their 30s chose to be single?

Note Marriage doesnt guarantee happiness. If you choose the wrong partner you will still be unhappy like your unmarried mates.

Happiness is a choice.

At this stage of human advancement and enlightenment, I'm shocked that people living in Nigeria still consider marriage and kids as some sort of achievement. They are not thinking of making an impact career-wise; they are already locked in the vicious cycle of being born, go to school, raise kids, and die. I even read a few responses were people are saying that as long as you can FEED yourself and others, you should get married. The level of thinking in the country is so low that it has restricted itself to the most basic of human needs. What a shame!

Alert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Christopher Hitchens e.t.c are not known for their marriage and kids, they are known for the impact they made on the lives of others. We need to stop this backward mentality.

I don't know why we can't stick to one side...

On one end, the average Nairaland guy believes a woman's forte is caring for the home/family and foam in the mouth whenever someone suggests otherwise.

On another end, same guy believes a woman should contribute financially to the household and starts asking what a woman wants to contribute if she doesn't want to drop money at home.

Jokers...

@OP:

I 100% agree with him

The idea of waiting till eternity before marriage doesn't appeal to me. I rather we build together and look for ways to develop ourselves and family.

Toks2008:


The best bet is to marry a lady who has something to bring to the table....if a man makes 30k a month and the woman makes 30k a month and the guy has a roof over his head then go on and do an intro and registry marriage then plan for the big one when the money comes.

With 60k you two can start a life and feed even one more mouth while you both work harder to make life better.

My example is for the worst case scenario.

If you like say until you become a million aire before you marry...your risk cos you can only work hard and wish you make that millions fast enough.

Never in my life will I ever make the mistake of getting into an affair with a lady who has nothing doing...it's a total risk and serious frustration as she will pour all her needs on you.

Na God go bless you for me,in fact abundant blessing for this your comment. Na yu get sense pass, in fact am hugging yu now.#No homo meant oooo

Well he might b right to himself bt i will not go into marriage with the hope of having kids without financially buoyant. I have a neighbour who told me that he used to wake up in the middle of the night to cry because he can't provide for his family.. The man I'm talking abt only have one kid nd her wife he is also a Tyler .i ve.a broda too who has two kids, bt he doesn't knew where those kids are. Whether they alive or dead. So with whatam seeing nd passing tru i will never make the mistake others have made #saynotoabrokenhome. .

Marriage is not a must.Talk less of naija ladies who don't want ti hustke with you(except few).Nobody wants to settle with a broke ass.I'd rathee hustle wella,make money,enjoy it and not let societal norms gimme hypertension.Besides Nigeria's population has exploded already,let us manage it abeg

IVORY2009:


With determinatn u can get der, wat are ur skills?

My good friend, i ll get a good girl soon.

lovat:
My good friend, i ll get a good girl soon.

Yes u can...

IVORY2009:


Yes u can...

Bachelorhood don tired man. Billions no come. Na to just settle look for a good girl

valarinz:
Africans, NIGERIANS, third world countries, we all have one thing in common : producing babies like rats irrespective of whether we can provide QUALITY livelihood for those kids

Our economy is dying, infrastructure non existent or decaying, and yet all we think about is produce more population to weigh down on the little infrastructure and social amenities we have left

Check the pattern, the wealthy nations and also the wealthy ones in our country too, don't see this marriage and producing babies thing as an accomplishment, most times you'll see just a kid or two and the best quality of life is provided for them, but it's from those broke niggas or the average struggling ones that you keep hearing marry marry marry, born born born, that's the highest accomplishment

It beats my imagination how some people assume that producing babies like rats is the only thing that can make a man/woman happy and fulfilled in life. How can someone who was raised in a struggling home filled with poverty want to quickly rush and bring in kids to experience the same suffering they went through

What's the point of having 7 kids at the age of 50 and the best yoh can offer them is public schools of #2000 school fees, is it not better to have 2 kids at 50 and provide quality education and upbringing to that kid, is it not better for both you and society

We keep producing prospective issues for the society, touts, thiefs, prostitutes, just name it, someone who doesn't even have sufficient to financial backing to withstand multiple emergencies will be pressured into marriage and it will be hailed as an accomplishment, and 20yrs from now, we'll want whoever is the president to turn nigeria to usa overnight

Why do countries like China now have their govt enforcing a population cap by legally allowing only one kid per household, despite being so better off than us in all aspects, yet as poor as we are as a country we keep pressuring our young ones to keep marrying and producing babies

The president of united States has only two kids, daughters for that matter, I have never heard any outrage from his countrymen, imagine if this was a nigerian.

This is how most of my friends who bowed to society pressure and entered the eternal rat race in the name of marriage and kids keep asking for financial help every now and then, and next thing you'll see a post on fb with them and the kids saying how God is doing it and they're so happy, the ones who are not yet into it will be fooled.

It is well

Respect

claremont:
At this stage of human advancement and enlightenment, I'm shocked that people living in Nigeria still consider marriage and kids as some sort of achievement. They are not thinking of making an impact career-wise; they are already locked in the vicious cycle of being born, go to school, raise kids, and die.

Alert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Christopher Hitchens e.t.c are not known for their marriage and kids, they are known for the impact they made on the lives of others. We need to stop this backward mentality.

Post of the day.

Laveda:
The title of this thread is misleading.

I thought as much..Marry with the "little" you have is totally different to marry "irrespective" of your financial situation..

But the real question is how little is "little".. ? Unfortunately the OP & the "marriage counsellor" did not deem it fit to break down the key term.

If anybody tell me that, these will happen to them

1. Fire go catch them cloth and fire extinguisher no go gree work for them

2. Sango the god of thunder go vex for them

3. Devil the guy wey

dey stay for three way junction go make their kitchen home

4. The curse wey dey on top Arsene Wenger wey no let Arsenal win EPL go comot Arsene Wenger head and come them head

CorGier:
Trust you? No, I won't cos u're talking out your āss.
[/b]Any idīot can get married[b], it's the easy way out. We all want a pretty wife, little cute kids running around the place and all that. But that's not the ultimate, neither is getting all the money in the world. Sadly, in order to build a career and actualise your dreams, sacrifices has to be made - marriage being one of them. Something has to give, cos once the wifey starts to pop out those little cute things, say bye bye to those ambitions.

Which is why we have fvcktards ravaging the society today.

Any individual who cannot take ADEQUATE care of him/herself should not get married.

/
Only those with informal education can afford to marry at that age. They get settled by their masters and start building their livelihood early

or

those with formal education but from rich families.

But for the dude that goes to the university for 4 years (add 2 more years for strikes), NYSC, then job and try to settle down, it should be at 30+.

There is no reason a lady who intends to get married should be single at 28. The 22-26 age range is optimum.
\

HarveySpecter1:



Nice point of view but your last paragraph is so flawed. It's fine that you will rather " eat results than potentials" but dont forget that your rule should apply to you too. Most girls have the wack mindset that the men should be financially healthy while they contribute a little or nothing. I would like to ask you and your fellow girls the following....

Did you not go to the school that the guys attended?
Was the syllabus used for the guys different from that used for the girls ?
Do we not have the same brain? Do you accept that our brains are superior to yours? If our brains are superior then girls are inferior to guys. QED

If a man should realise his potentials and turn it to results so should our girls. African women should wake up. Twerking,bj and f0rking around can't bring as much money as the brain.

If a husband should earn 300k/month, the wife should earn likewise. African men are also the problem. They except less from women and African women give far below " less".

You are 100% right!

goingape:
so let us marry witches and prostitute and have a bastard child as our own

thanks for your stvpid advise! I rather enjoy my life single as it is than for me to marry those apes which called themself naija women.

even if I had more or little I won't make that mistake to get married! it is better to be single that to marry and have more problems.

thanks once again! the marriage institution is becoming useless nowadays and our women are becoming more and more promiscuous and you expert me to marry!

a woman will do ashawo in her youthful age when it is time to settle down that's when you will see them becoming born again just to catch one mugu.

show me a decent black woman and I will show you a treasure yet to discovered!. we don't have decent women in this country again other than our mothers of those times. what we have is bunch of useless women parading with diggers and axe just to drain you.


thanks for your advise once again.

Oh and are you decent yourself

Berbierklaus:

Please sir,try and always take your brains along with your eyes anytime you come across my comment on Nairaland,it will do you a lot of good In a bid to make your A'hole comment you probably skipped where I typed



Any sane person knows I wasn't referring to literal 'eating' but I am not in the position to ascertain your mental state so I will pass on that

Lastly happy new year too sir,may you use your assimilating facilities more this year in Jesus name

Hahahahaha! FATALITY.