teemy:
Funny that just tonight I was advising a lady not to make thing heated up for her hubby because of his keeping late nights. Once the house is hot, it only leads to the desire for cool things like drinks that can be obtained from the beer parlor. Ladies just ask how miss Delilah was able to still keep bro Samson at her place despite him knowing she would do the exact things that she hears would deplete his powers. Just ask yourself how she still got him to stay and you could be holding the keys to marital happiness.

She shouldn't even bother talking sef. Ignore him and start keeping late nights too. No need for long talk

Toks2008:


One mature mind spotted.

Hahahahaha spotter of mature minds

Toks2008:


The guy you quoted is probably naive or just been unrealistic.

I always tell my ex.."I chose to be faithful to her not because I love her but because I love GOD" and there are few guys like that out there.

What is the crime in preparing the minds of ladies towards a possibility? many ladies are in the psycaltry as I write because of the shock of heartbreak and I wonder if it's really worth it...

It's a crazy world out there and the best you can do is to prepare for it.

Well said. Preparation is the key and prayers.
Marriages ain't all rosy, it get stormy sometimes and how the storm is dealt with is the strength of the marriage.

Ok

Safiaa:
I have one question for you. Would you provide condom usage for your cheating wife? Please don't tell me this bullshiit about women cheat with emotions, both genders derive pleasure from sex and I may simply want to taste something new outside. Sincerely, do you provide a condom for me? Let me know

I once created a thread addressing this.

A lady is free to make her choice whether to cheat or not and if caught,the man can decide whether to let go or forgive ..it's very balanced.

However I always tell ladies who care to listen that we live in an unjust and cruel world of men where ladies are expected to be more sexual decent than guys and any lady who still juxtapose a man and woman in terms of sexual decency will only be fooling herself but as I wrote,it's totally up to her.

gbagagbogo:
Very sensible and pragmatic steps. I love this piece.
I will like to add one more thing, women be submissive to your husband. That's the most important aspect. No man wants to leave with another man. Be loyal to him, respect his opinion and if you feel he's not making sense, correct him in meekness and maturity. Marriage is sweet when the man and the woman understand each other very well.. But ladies don't forget this : the success and prosperity of your home is majorly in your hand. Be loyal. God bless our homes

So women are the heads of the families after all. I mean since the success of the home is majorly in our hands

KreativGenius:



Human beings are cheats my dear, not men or women, someone told me a staggering 70% of married women cheat and that 90% of married men cheat, this person was femal yet she said this. She said it with such temerity that made me felt she had some first hand experiences so i couldn't argue against it.


I focus on healthy marriage my dear and not cheat or no cheat. It's what i'm saying, evil has so much perverted this generation that it imbues our mindset to tilt towards looking out for evil in people. Cheat on me or not, no problem, i won't let my mindset be tuned to a negative mental stance where am i take a microscope and then begin to investigate people.


Why don't we focus on propagating and cultivating healthy relationships. Suspecting people puts a strain on good relations with whom we're stuck it. For example, with your experiences so far, it's clear to see your mental perceptory, and that you have en eyes set to see evil.

How will you deal with whom you're gonna be with? I personally believe even cheating is a process in people's lives at some point and with better self realization, they will mature and that craving in them will lose its grip sometime in the relationship.

So shall we discard the journey because of a knot in between? Or shall we throw away the baby with the bath water because of a flu? Shall the pains of conception grip the virgin and make her hate marital bliss and intimacy ? Evil only clouds the heart and sets a fog over it, take the lid of your heart, cheating or no-cheating, you can find a great lover out there, we all can. Focus focusing on the downsides my dear

yea, I agree. Healthy rship.

Tell this to op too. Let him focus on healthy rship. and stop this his crusade on how " women should be smiling when their husbands are cheating".

Toks2008:


I once created a thread addressing this.

A lady is free to make her choice whether to cheat or not and if caught,the man can decide whether to let go or forgive ..it's very balanced.

However I always tell ladies who care to listen that we live in an unjust and cruel world of men where ladies are expected to be more sexual decent than guys and any lady who still juxtapose a man and woman in terms of sexual decency will only be fooling herself but as I wrote,it's totally up to her.

No, the question was specifically directed at you. I want to know what exactly you would do in this situation. Your wife simply got tired of the sex life at home, and decided to creep out, just to explore. You find out she's been sleeping with another man for some time. Do you keep calm and provide condom usage for her as you don't want problems? After all, it's very balanced, and this is what you're preaching. Please let me knw.

My dear ladies, there is only one thing to do to ensure marital peace. GET A SIDE DUDE. Then nothing your husband does will worry you. Whether he's cheating or not, not your concern after all you'll be getting good loving on the side

Joy1706:

So women are the heads of the families after all. I mean since the success of the home is majorly in our hands

Of course women are the unofficial head and the success of her marriage is more hinged on her.

Joy1706:
My dear ladies, there is only one thing to do to ensure marital peace. GET A SIDE DUDE. Then nothing your husband does will worry you. Whether he's cheating or not, not your concern after all you'll be getting good loving on the side

I hear you but at least wait for him to cheat on you first before you decide to make yourself available as intimacy gadget for another guy.

Joy1706:
My dear ladies, there is only one thing to do to ensure marital peace. GET A SIDE DUDE. Then nothing your husband does will worry you. Whether he's cheating or not, not your concern after all you'll be getting good loving on the side

Exactly, just marry for financial purpose, children, or status and seek for companionship and love elsewhere

winnar:
yea, I agree. Healthy rship.

Tell this to op too. Let him focus on healthy rship. and stop this his crusade on how " women should be smiling when their husbands are cheating".

I have several threads on that too and they have made fpage but I believe guiding against armed borrow is equally as important as preaching against it.

Toks2008:


[s]Of course women are the unofficial head and the success of her marriage is more hinged on her.[/s]

bullshit. two cannot walk together unless they agree

winnar:
yea, I agree. Healthy rship.

Tell this to op too. Let him focus on healthy rship. and stop this his crusade on how " women should be smiling when their husbands are cheating".

Lol. I can relate. I don't do gender wars anymore

Wish you the best the week can offer my dear

Toks2008:


I have several threads on that too and they have made fpage but I believe guiding against armed borrow is equally as important as preaching against it.

I said this to you earlier,and i'mma repeat it again. A lady came to my domain recently, and i looked at her and i chuckled.

She's been married ten years now. Not asingle day of her been beating or the assualtsother ladies get, guess what, including myself, and at least ten folks, we are felt it was a no-brainer. They both had just 40-45% compatibility. She and her husband are constantly around me so i'm privy to inner details in her relationship to some extent.

Guess what makes the relationship still up-standing till today?

The point you raised in number nine. Forgive, tohave a good marriage, compatibility or notcompatibility, forgiveness ranks higher, and for hearts that holds plenty of it, along side with patience, nothing can rock such a boat, becase it's not built on the pedestal of i can't be wrong, but rather, i'm willing tolet go, look away, turn the side, turn a new leaf, start afresh, press on, continue, challenge, turn the other direction, tweak it a bit, make moderations, in order to achieve an expected objective, which is a successful marriage !


The opposite of such forgiveness is self centerdness, self preservation, self love, self obsession, self ideologies all in the bid to psychologically have the upper hand at such times, whereas in marriage both parties shoul be intertwined and become a single being.


May God give us wisdom, a heart that understands, a mind that takes heed, and a heart that is flooded with the light of the truth. When the heart is flooded with the truth, it swallows up lies, soif seeds of lies germinates in our hearts, its because we have vile in our heart and all the requirements for it to flourish, the battle is half won in our hears. We should read books like Battle field of the mind by JoyceMeyer

Toks2008:


Of course women are the unofficial head and the success of her marriage is more hinged on her.

100% Spot on @ Of course women are the unofficial head and the success of her marriage is more hinged on her.... The success of the marriage hinges on the woman, the Woman and the God factor, we males control just a smaller figure

Safiaa:
No, the question was specifically directed at you. I want to know what exactly you would do in this situation. Your wife simply got tired of the sex life at home, and decided to creep out, just to explore. You find out she's been sleeping with another man for some time. Do you keep calm and provide condom usage for her as you don't want problems? After all, it's very balanced, and this is what you're preaching. Please let me knw.

It happened to me and I gave her a second chance but unfortunately I had to terminate the whole thing when I realized she was still unstable...

Why should I leave a lady I have invested time with cos she strayed? but if she is unrepentant and still arrogant then she has no business in my life again.

Joy1706:
My dear ladies, there is only one thing to do to ensure marital peace. GET A SIDE DUDE. Then nothing your husband does will worry you. Whether he's cheating or not, not your concern after all you'll be getting good loving on the side

Hahahahahaha. funny you.

But, on a second thought, Do you know if we have like a wrtten agreement attached to that marriage cert.., That if a man cheats on his wife.., that the wife is entitled to cheat back.

Believe me, all this men will respect their vows sharply.

I have realised that serving people a dose of their medcine puts them back in their right senses.

KreativGenius:



[s]100% Spot on @ Of course women are the unofficial head and the success of her marriage is more hinged on her.... The success of the marriage hinges on the woman, the Woman and the God factor, we males control just a smaller figure[/s]

The success of an unhealthy relationship/marriage where the wife is the doormat is more hinged on the woman and it depends on how much bullshit she can take.

there I fixed it.

Toks2008:


The guy you quoted is probably naive or just been unrealistic.

I always tell my ex.."I chose to be faithful to her not because I love her but because I love GOD" and there are few guys like that out there.

What is the crime in preparing the minds of ladies towards a possibility? many ladies are in the psycaltry as I write because of the shock of heartbreak and I wonder if it's really worth it...

It's a crazy world out there and the best you can do is to prepare for it.

Honey, nowadays women cheat just as much as men. So maybe you should also prepare the minds of our men towards the possibility that their wives may cheat on them. Before they die out of shock when it happens o

Joy1706:
My dear ladies, there is only one thing to do to ensure marital peace. GET A SIDE DUDE. Then nothing your husband does will worry you. Whether he's cheating or not, not your concern after all you'll be getting good loving on the side

Na wa O!


May God forgive you. As a woman having this mindset is a curse. You're a cheat waiting to happen if it hasn't. May God forgive you

winnar:
dear, social media has nothing with all wrote before.

I wrote based on what i have seen and experienced. If you read well, you will see i even used my father too. The thing is.., Right from childhood down to my adulthood.., all i have seen is unfaithful men.

So, do you expect me to just change my mind.., just because you said so?

Men are cheats. yes, and i know women cheats too. But, the op is talking about men today.

You have not met many men. There are many out there who can't cheat, even if a Delilah spreads her legs and beckon on them to come and get a taste.

Let me make it simpler: People who cheat have psychological problem. They are not okay, to say the least. How can a normal human being crave for chicken that he saw outside when he has a pot of chicken at home waiting to be devoured? Like one would still eat illegally what he can eat at home legally and with peace of mind?

Thank God for the home where I come from. When we were younger, Every Christmas, our parents gets us more than enough to eat and drink. If you can handle one full chicken alone, it's your call. If you can drink twenty cans of booze alone, do it. Sometimes I used to think they were being wasteful till one day my mama explained things to me. She told me that the reason behind this stuff I thought as wastage of resources was because she wanted to use it to check on the normal gluttony and discontent associated with children. At least after getting bored of eating meat and drinking booze, we won't be moved if we see someone "enjoying" himself on the same items outside.

And it worked. Even till now, we don't beg for things. We don't covet. We are just content with what we have. If we land something better, that's fine. If not, no problem...We are still okay. And this mentality stretched out to my dealings in a sexual relationship. I don't cheat. It's weird to me. I'm very content with one girl, so far as I'm serious with her....

....And there are many more like me out there. Free your mind dear

Proudgorgeousga:


The success of an unhealthy relationship/marriage where the wife is the doormat is more hinged on the woman and it depends on how much bullshit she can take.

there I fixed it.

The moment a woman is a doormat she isn't a wife, but a slave, stop quoting me when you don't understand my dogmas aunty

Toks2008:


Of course women are the unofficial head and the success of her marriage is more hinged on her.

No it means we're the official heads. You can't be head in name only without the attendant responsibilities

KreativGenius:



[s]The moment a woman is a doormat she isn't a wife, but a slave, stop quoting me when you don't understand my dogmas aunty[/s]

Your dogma is trash. a successful marriage is not more hinged on the woman. It takes two to tango.

Toks2008:


I hear you but at least wait for him to cheat on you first before you decide to make yourself available as intimacy gadget for another guy.

But you said he will cheat na. No need waiting. It's best I prepare well in advance. And it's my side guy that will be my intimacy gadget.

alexis007:
You have not met many men. There are many out there who can't cheat, even if a Delilah spreads her legs and beckon on them to come and get a taste.

Let me make it simpler: People who cheat have psychological problem. They are not okay, to say the least. How can a normal human being crave for chicken that he saw outside when he has a pot of chicken at home waiting to be devoured? Like one would still eat illegally what he can eat at home legally and with peace of mind?

Thank God for the home where I come from. When we were younger, Every Christmas, our parents gets us more than enough to eat and drink. If you can handle one full chicken alone, it's your call. If you can drink twenty cans of booze alone, do it. Sometimes I used to think they were being wasteful till one day my mama explained things to me. She told me that the reason behind this stuff I thought as wastage of resources was because she wanted to use it to check on the normal gluttony and discontent associated with children. At least after getting bored of eating meat and drinking booze, we won't be moved if we see someone "enjoying" himself on the same items outside.

And it worked. Even till now, we don't beg for things. We don't covet. We are just content with what we have. If we land something better, that's fine. If not, no problem...We are still okay. And this mentality stretched out to my dealings in a sexual relationship. I don't cheat. It's weird to me. I'm very content with one girl, so far as I'm serious with her....

....And there are many more like me out there. Free your mind dear

God Bless you, all points agreed with

Just to add that satiety and discontentment are far more psychological than otherwise,these conditions are what forms the basis of cheating. What's the panacea, control ! Scripturally, we call it, a contented heart. Na wetin dey outside dey inside, so people should cultivate their relationships and quit the bickering ! All the noise from all these gender wars is sickening. If only people would get some understanding, understanding makes it easy, because the opposite is when both the husband and wife begin to set up war machinery in their hearts " in preparation against ", the moment a person develops an incase he/she does it mindset, it makes me ponder !

Proudgorgeousga:


Your dogma is trash. a successful marriage is not more hinged on the woman. It takes two to tango.

You will understand my dear when the time comes !

Proudgorgeousga:


Exactly, just marry for financial purpose, children, or status and seek for companionship and love elsewhere

Gbam! This is just what I advice my girls

Jesus Christ @ Exactly, just marry for financial purpose, children, or status and seek for companionship and love elsewhere


Then such notion reflects a mental condition " not the other individual problem"

KreativGenius:



You will understand my dear when the time comes !

I used to think like you, until I had my epiphany and there is no going back.