Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink - Romance (5) - Nairaland
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Woman Takes DNA Test, Learns Boyfriend Of Six Years Is Her Biological Brother / I'm About To Break Up My Relationship Of 3 Years Due To Indecent Dressing / My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. (2) (3) (4)
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| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by LordKO(m): 10:46pm On Mar 08, 2018 |
Calm down your problem is a small one! Actually, you're of weak self sufficiency, thus the reason for your nonchalant attitude which he constantly complained about as stated - nonchalance is a psychological vice. Believe you me that the weak self sufficiency group you belong to is better than "esteemless" group and those that belongs to it. But nothing stops you from migrating upwards to strong self sufficiency group, which will enable your relationship to become a bliss - so long as your man belonged to this same latter group. However, if he belong to the esteemless group, then, there's nothing you can do to achieve harmony with him in the long run - even after becoming servile towards him. For a certain he doesn't belong to the weak self sufficiency group, because he wouldn't have complained about your nonchalant attitude assuming that he does. To migrate to the strong self sufficiency group you simply have to discard conceitedness and replace same with self-effacement. The very moment you become self-effacing, you'll automatically become affectionable, humble, meek, tolerant and contended and beneficent (so long as you have no trace of behavioral vice like greed) etc, at least towards him. However, wrong application of this formula will make you to become a doormat. . . Be warned. 5 Likes |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by sodiamond: 10:51pm On Mar 08, 2018 |
jbaby265:Work on yourself sis and everything will be fine. Stop arguing with him entirely, infact let things be done his own way for now and with time you'll get used to it. Even in marriage you'll still continue to work on yourself if you really want to be happy 1 Like |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by BdorianGray(m): 10:53pm On Mar 08, 2018 |
rexesq: What! Da heck did I just read! Where da heck did u get this from?  Oo please stop this lies... Everything don't revole around sexual passions 1 Like |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by teemonk(m): 10:58pm On Mar 08, 2018 |
jbaby265: the problem is just stress associated with wedding preparation. it does happen to majority except those that have their families figured their wedding plans up... play it cool n be more sensitive n understanding till September. try as much as possible to make things go smoothly for him from ur parents angle. it's ur wedding so don't allow ur ppl stress him much and you'll be fine after the wedding 1 Like |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by obiZEAL(m): 11:08pm On Mar 08, 2018 |
madridguy:Wow I must say I'm immensely shocked! So you can make rational contributions like thisthis. |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by Boyooosa(m): 11:09pm On Mar 08, 2018 |
Firstly, discover the cause of ur conflicts. If he is guilty, then it means he is broke. If u r guilty, it means u r pushing him to the wall cos of his financial status. Either way, since u r willing to amend the relationship, the first thing you need to do is to give him hope, assure him that money can't form a barrier against your joint happiness. Reassure him that your love has not depreciated due to monetary factor. Do u have a source of income? If u have, continue sponsoring ur bills and help him when u can. If not, find a sustenable job. Secondly, soberly call his attention to the degrade of ur relationship, persuade him to confess his frustrations, sincerely dissuade from his dislikes and avoid as much as possible to greet the old times again. If he has good friends or understanding close relatives, seek their help discreetly. Lastly, if he doesn't respond to treatment trying out all aforementioned judiciously, my sister start thinking of your life vis-a-vis your career and a better futuristic home.... My kobo! MW, never assume he has a new catch, by so doing, you will send the relationship to sleep, grave! 1 Like |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by franchasng: 11:12pm On Mar 08, 2018 |
jbaby265:Hope you are gainfully employed  If no, try and get something serious doing to start earning a living to encourage him to say I do.Time have changed, things are no longer as easy as it used to be during our parents time or some decades ago, so every partner in marriage must be productive financially for the marriage to excel and flourish and pass the test of time. Take my words, your man is financially worried.....he is under financial pressure which is causing him depression, so pray for him and if u have the means help him get out of the financial stress or mess so he can be the loving man u used to know. Many men become depressed and pick fights with their woman when they are financially down. While some men do same when they are financially buoyant and tired of their old lover and looking for a way to breakup to get a new catch, so analyse your mans situation, is he financially okay at the moment Lastly, you need to do all you can to look pretty and attractive; remember men are visual beings, they are moved by what they see....physical beauty and sexiness of a woman is very important to men. Lastly, don't make yourself easily available to him sexually....most importantly, if u don't have any nice job now, try and get one or start a business or start now to learn a sustainable and profitable trade cos u need it. Don't listen to what many are saying that u should breakup now, they think its easy, it maybe easy for a man but its never easy for a lady. Besides, finding a man ready to commit to a lady now is very difficult cos financial pressure and fear has made today men to become scared of commitment. Something keeps telling me the problem is finance and maybe your man is worried u are not doing something good to earn a living and he is worried about the financial burden should he marry u...so he is scared and looking for a way to end the relationship but if u convince him otherwise by getting something good doing, he will change, that's if that's the case here which I suspect. Most men nowadays want to marry ladies who are gainfully employed, sadly that's the reality nowadays. Wish u the best 1 Like |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by Adebowale89(m): 11:28pm On Mar 08, 2018 |
na ego dey worry both of you, he want to be in control but u won't accept I have similar issues with my ex but I learnt my lesson and adjust before I venture into another relationship you guys ve no issues, you just need to tolerate eachother and stop reacting to everything. like someone said above you both can visit a marriage counsellor because 7yrs relationship is not a joke, starting all over again with another guy you're yet to know might be risky all the best 1 Like |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by da3pu0(m): 11:31pm On Mar 08, 2018 |
sis u can reach me through my blog http://seekforcounsel..com.ng or chat me up on 08032066562. we would surely get to the root of the matter |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by eterisan(m): 11:40pm On Mar 08, 2018 |
jbaby265:if you try that rubbish that poster told... Ur relationship is gone.... You want to form porche on top this wahala... I laugh you |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by AreaFada2: 11:43pm On Mar 08, 2018 |
OP, look at the fundamentals of your relationship. What is the basis? Just "love" that has no definition? Have you brought out the best in him and he the best in you over the past 6 to 7 years? Do your dreams and aspirations enhance and complement each other's for the most part? How do you picture your union 10 years from now considering what you know now? Are both of you forgiving and able to say "am sorry"when needs be? |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by msylva2147(m): 11:44pm On Mar 08, 2018 |
AnodaIT:exactly what I want to say |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by msylva2147(m): 11:44pm On Mar 08, 2018 |
AnodaIT:exactly what I wanted to say |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by achillesfoot(m): 11:45pm On Mar 08, 2018 |
My beautiful sister, You said grassroot relationships, six to seven years right. Okay good. The issue is this. One: He is dis-attracted, and when i say disattracted it could be another hotter woman, someone who is giving him something you are not. He no longer finds you attractive. Try to find ways in which you changed. If indeed you have been together for that amount of time you just said, this assignment shouldnt be too hard for you. Relax and work it out. Sit him down and talk to him, haba you both love eachother naaa. wetin dey happen here sef. Buy a bottle of whisky, you two drink and dance to Marvin Gaye Sexual healing that should do it. |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by Checked86: 11:49pm On Mar 08, 2018 |
-Relationship no get formula. - love is not a two way thing -love what you want - do not force what you want to love you back - do not run a closed relationship. - spread your net - human beings live because of competition - make yourslef the prize not the competitor - Prepare your mind for the worst and always pray for the best. this is actually against the law of the universe but it helps reduce the suicide tendency. My advice: From your story, i feel you guys don't together. Distance is a bittttch. it can breal 30 years old relationship. Always make sure you visit him often or he visits you.Do not calculate the years, calculate the years but the experience and love you guys have shared. in case the relationship crashes, thank God and walk away. i don't pray so. also search yourself, this worried could be just mere fear that already fixed date may not hold or that your marriage could crash. no relationship is perfect. the quarrels is a sign of love. this is marriage and every party is trying to make the other perfect for hom or her. it is a good sign. |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by kushme: 11:49pm On Mar 08, 2018 |
jbaby265: I believe you are using marriage talk to disturb him... Must you guys marry self? I think you guys might have had a kind of healthy relationship during the seven years together . If yes, then why worry him about marriage. Either you continue to be a loving partner or you carry your strong arse and leave. Lastly, leave God out of the matter. You bounced on the same coc.k for fvckin' seven years.  |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by Nobody: 11:52pm On Mar 08, 2018 |
jbaby265:I won't say you should quit your relationship.. Rather check yourself and make amendment. Firstly you get angry easily, Secondly you have non-challant attitude towards your man and things he's concerned with. If your relationship last 7 years, trust me it can last more.. Just work on yourself and make your man happy! 1 Like |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by digitsolution: 12:04am On Mar 09, 2018 |
I will advice you not to listen to most peoples advice on here. 7years is a long while by now you ought to know him better and vice versa. He might be dealing with financial challenges, country is tough lately. Or maybe there is something u do that makes him tick. Do you nag him ? Do you give him enough attention ? Do you make him feel wanted ? And lots more. Follow your heart and be prayerful about it. The spiritual governs the physical. Wish you all the best. By Gods grace september will be memorable for you guys. Dont forget to call me to come chop party rice.....lol |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by Kobicove(m): 12:25am On Mar 09, 2018 |
The guy is already bored and wants out of the relationship |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by Ifalade01: 12:36am On Mar 09, 2018 |
You need to be prayerful cos trials are everywhere. Meanwhile try visiting a counselor with your groom in view. |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by Tipiflexy(m): 12:46am On Mar 09, 2018 |
After thoroughly reading through your writeup, the following came up your guy is not mature enough marriage is not the next thing the idea of keeping malice with yourselves for several days is out of it and I despise such you are also not mature for marriage if it persist, take your time to see a qualified marriage Councillor. Let me explain my points one after the other your guy is not mature and he show that to you. He could have act maturely instead of that childish attitude. maturity will help your relationship work. if you dont have what it takes in marriage, submit and go. a mature relationship leads to marriage. every partner must be mature enough cos it will go a long way in affecting their lives during marriage era. let him man up and do the needful. let him pour his mind and u do likewise. you both need to do that ASAP in order to avoid the story that touches the heart. Until you guys sort yourselves, don't ever mention marriage. Get to know yourselves better. listen and then react. Two wrongs don't make a right. the both of you must not be a goat. one to be a sheep and other a sheep. it will help you guys achieve cos you guys won't bike bite anymore, no more irrelevant messages etc You are also not mature for marriage. The Bible says get angry but do not sin, do not allow the sun set before you dissolve such anger. If he is childish, prove to him that you are wise as Solomon. Every guy love beauty with brain not the other way round. Give him the impression that you understand better. In conclusion, you guys should have a heart to heart talk. Seriously you both need to agree on your differences and try look for a ways to live in harmony. Until you do the needful, the fight won't stop thanks and you won't stop quarelling. |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by sompsonz(m): 1:01am On Mar 09, 2018 |
LordKO:if only this big big grammar was broken down to a layman’s level . Uncle no be all of us go school � |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by highqueen(f): 1:01am On Mar 09, 2018 |
lol..you see why it's not always good to grow with guy cos they will leave you when they start making it...sorry sis,,just start living your life without him. |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by sompsonz(m): 1:07am On Mar 09, 2018 |
I’ve seen a lot of advice here and I wonder what my dear poster will go for . This is not a joke 7 years in a relationship is real stuff . Most of us advising you can’t get to it . At this stage I believe you guys know each other to a fault and can really say who loves and Who doesn’t , therefore that shouldn’t be a worry . However if there’s been more tension than usual then maybe you guys are missing something. Confront each other and be honest on it. Let your heart out and see what the frustration really is . Try to do a few new things together , movies games whatever works for you both . I just think the both of you are both in a new stage in the relationship and has refused to accept it . If you keep doing same things you did 3years ago you’ll definitely end of frustrated. Over everything make God your 1st councillor |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by gen2lpat(m): 1:08am On Mar 09, 2018 |
jbaby265: All the best. |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by kc2hansome(m): 1:15am On Mar 09, 2018 |
jbaby265: I wanted to wakapass but I have a direct experience on this issue. There are two side to every story. Yours and his. Pls disregard all these petty breakup advise from all these unmarried ladies on NL, you can at least consider the married ones, I wouldn't waste time to explain why... From your narration I'm sensing you must have cheated on him at some point and maybe he too has. I think true forgiveness is the problem here. When a Lady cheats she tends to emotionally shutdown in her relationship, thus the "nonchalance" you mentioned that you usually exhibit. He maybe forgave you but you kept acting up, till he lost patience and stopped giving a damn, hence his ability to stay 1month without communication. A man doesn't keep malice some do but you should know if he falls under that category as 7years no be child's play. When you talk and talk and someone keeps repeating the same thing, eventually you'll stop talking and also stop giving a damn. My dear within that one month why didn't you call or do you think that the person who moves to reconcile is the fool?? Your relationship did not last for 7years by coincident someone was making the relevant sacrifices and i'm suspecting that it was him, you're only worked up and looking for solution now because he has turned the wheel around. He might have been taking lots of sh*t from you due to the love he has from you and begging you to change but you refused (maybe because u weren't affected directly then), the stage you are in the 7th year is the stage he was around the 4 or 5th year but you didn't care then becos whenever you started acting up, he was always the first to extend the hand of reconciliation. I'll give you a known secret "A woman is the most important element in a relationship". If the woman is strong and wise, the relationship is strong and wise. Drop ego, used more of your head than emotions when he is angry. Stir your relationship to the promise land, in this modern world, you saw a guy willing to invest 7whole years in one person and you're still having ego issues. Don't go value your relationship when its over cos you'll regret it. 1 Like |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by Mafulul(m): 1:47am On Mar 09, 2018 |
That's the aftermath of long courtship and the failure to stay without 'experimenting' with your bodies. To me, you were 'married' long time ago. My advice is you should just remain and continue to weather the Storm together. Moreover, it is for better for worse!! |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by coputa(m): 2:15am On Mar 09, 2018 |
Courtship of over 6 years must have reveal a lot in you and your partner,with this it is expected that you both should be able to understand yourself. At a time when the love is getting matured to be harvested,things are now going from bad to worse and threatening to hit the rock. The onus of problem lies on your feet because you are the pillar that holds the relationship erect, what I am trying to put across to you is that,put on your emotional garb,throw yourpride and ego away and play the role of a real woman. Remove the word "blame". from your vocabulary,talk to him nicely,threat him decently,continue to show him that unconditional love no matter his attitude towards you.don't talk back at him unnecessarily.Men hates nagging and disrespectful woma.This can make him have some reservations towards youNo man will jettison a good wife material. |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by Obason22(m): 2:22am On Mar 09, 2018 |
Na river Niger e dey sink abi river benue, if na benue then contact herdsmen for action |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by tradepunter: 2:56am On Mar 09, 2018 |
Niaja girls always feel like someone else would have married them if they weren't in the relationship with whoever they would have been with at the moment. The fact is that you ladies are wrong, the reason is cuz you were single before entering the relationship. Meaning that ladies would have had soo much doubt and lack of trust in critical area she is looking for. So you agreeing with your current man and staying this long means he's close to your ideal man, the only difference is that he's not showing any inclination of marriage. My point is the risk is more on ladies. Whether you spend 6months before getting married to a guy or you spend more doesn't matter cuz its life. So it's not sensible to say guys dy waste una time cuz if you marry someone bad or none compaitable character you are locked in for life.. Every guy have their own way of dealing with stress and wedding period is the worst period for a guy. Forget say their is a popular notion that puts the woman in front of every thing. As long he's never raised his hand on you trust me your life in marriage will be sweet. |
| Re: Help! My Relationship Of 7 Years Is About To Sink by trumpcoat(m): 2:59am On Mar 09, 2018 |
madridguy: |
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