this guy is a virgin just like me so i understand his fears.
that babe was active in the past and now a secondary virgin.
it is a fact that Whites are more transparent than Blacks.
how could you toy with a woman's emotions, even in church?
tell your mum to tell her mum to tell her the truth!
if she decides not to call of the engagement, then -- a good thing.

No wonder dey say marriage is for men not for small boys like u, ur way of thinking nd reasoning tells much abt u,,,,,I wonder how she even fall for someone like u....ode....the last time i checked Lola is 8yrs older than peter

I married at the age of 26. I was very much more mature than this boy man. This is very ridiculous. You are mocking the name of God. You lied He spoke to you and you asking Him to make her loose interest. Is He your toy.

Guy you need medical attention. You have mental challenge. You pose a great danger to yourself and others around you. I cannot imagine how you will feel about her when she drops two kids and puts on weight. You will so hate her to the point of considering killing her because she is "old". You want a Beyonce or Kim that will remain young forever. Firm breast and tight pusi till eternity. What an hypocrite. Abeg, you don't deserve any girl because you cannot love.

I am embarrassed and completely dissapointed in you. koshilo joo.

Rotji:
Bro, do you guys know your genotypes yet? If no, pray she turns out AS so you can either be AS too or claim to be. This can only be your way out without causing too much damage to her heart.

On the other hand to be truthful, age is no longer an issue in relationships/marriages these days. She might be 5 years older than you and your relationship can still be perfect, so your only reasonable excuse should be that you don't love her and not the age difference.

I am AA and she's AS, both of us know this fact, so nothing to do about genotype.

Nymeria247:
Dear OP, there is no correct way of breaking up a relationship. It is commendable that you are worried about her feelings but that should not stop you from doing what you have made up your mind to do. Start by avoiding her, stop calling and chatting her. Stay away from anywhere that she will see you. If she is not sharp enough to read between the lines; send her a text that you need some time away from her to review your life. it is okay that you don't love her enough to marry her and grow old with her. Any relationship built on pity and emotional blackmail is bound to hit the rocks eventually. Better now than later. I suggest you summon courage and call off the relationship as quickly as possible. Do not base your happiness on the opinion of your church, your pastor or anyone...Time heals ALL wounds. Good luck.

Thanx alot

Dear Op,

Are you sure you want to back out because of the age issue, or you have another babe you are eyeing.

I am 11 months older than my wife and that is not any issue to me.

You are lucky you are 2 years older than your wife.

Did you not see this coming since when you guys have been together.

You have engaged her and want to back out now.

You really need to sleep and think over this issue before you take your final decision.

Mrbehave:
Thanx alot

What is thanks a lot here now? Dont you say you are paying dowry this month?
What he advised you to do cannot work in this instance.
You have to go for confession and take swift action to stop the ceremony if you know you want to pull out and not find yourself in an unhappy marriage.
Never love or go into marriage with anyone out of pity or what people will say.

Pharmchy:
Mr Op please can u give me that girl's number. I think I like her.

He won't give you. People like him will only realize what they have when a better person wants it.

kimbraa:
So many kids in relationships. Look at your narrative and judge yourself. You'll be saving that girl a lot if you don't marry her. See your mouth like "I'm two years older than her". The truth of the matter is, you're not matured yet, age is only but a number and you've never loved her. Maybe you were infatuated. Some women are older than their husband and they're doing very well in their respective marriages.

My sister, the baby boy just weak me.

LoisSanamo:
why not go on your knees and ask God to direct you on this.She might be God's will for you.cooking up some lies isn't the solution karma may catch up with you.

Thankyou

kimbraa:
So many kids in relationships. Look at your narrative and judge yourself. You'll be saving that girl a lot if you don't marry her. See your mouth like "I'm two years older than her". The truth of the matter is, you're not matured yet, age is only but a number and you've never loved her. Maybe you were infatuated. Some women are older than their husband and they're doing very well in their respective marriages.

You can pass your message without the insults

Rubbiish:
Okay i understand now...i can help u But u must be willing to learn...

ok

Mrbehave:
I wanted to delay it but My mum pushed me and I cant say no since I said it was GOD who spoke to me to go the first time. Am thinking of quitting my job, run away to a place where nobody knows not even my parents and come back after she is married.

, are you sure you are 28years? Abi you wanted to write 18years.....

Mrbehave:
I wanted to delay it but My mum pushed me and I cant say no since I said it was GOD who spoke to me to go the first time. Am thinking of quitting my job, run away to a place where nobody knows not even my parents and come back after she is married.

are you sure are with your right senses?

You stopped loving her 8 months ago and yet you proposed to her to marry her, (you don even do engagement sef) the truth is that you don't truly love her from the start, Nawa for you..... Just tell her if you can't love her. I fear some guys sef with their decisions based on people's opinion

Bros two years is not two days o! People marry women older than them and live happily ever after. The notion that she will grow old and loss interest in sex isn't true. Haven't you seen older women looking for young men to service them? You should be glad cos no small boy will have to be fucking your wife when you are old. Rather the two of you will grow old together

Mr Man.. it's very sad that at your age, you do not have a mind of your own.. your issue with the babe is not about her age, it's about the gist you've been getting about her failed 8 years relationship with the other dude and how badly he must have bombed her pekus, you probably have heard that she had several abortions for him.. You were convinced earlier in the relationship that she was Gods choice for you, it's still the same you that your mother pressured into engaging her, she also holds a position in your church excos and you feel obliged to carry on with the engagement. Your uncle is also telling you otherwise, my point is you really don't know what you want. That your age difference excuse is not valid at all, a lady 10 years younger than you today can look older than you tomorrow, it depends on how she takes care of herself or better still how much you take care of her. You also tend to fancy physical attribute which l has the tendency to fade away. I don't think you are ready so it's better you end it now rather than endure a marriage filled with pain and regrets. There are lots of couples out there with very little age difference and they have happy homes. Still enjoy life for a bit as a proper bachelor... carry olosho, get one night stands. When you are ready, nobody go tell you

kimbraa:
So many kids in relationships. Look at your narrative and judge yourself. You'll be saving that girl a lot if you don't marry her. See your mouth like "I'm two years older than her". The truth of the matter is, you're not matured yet, age is only but a number and you've never loved her. Maybe you were infatuated. Some women are older than their husband and they're doing very well in their respective marriages.

I know of a couple who love each other and are very successful. The wife is older, so age is no barrier but commitment that does the magic

Mrbehave:
me too dey pity her no b small. thanx sir.

Ask God to look into this issue and direct you better.
Suspend the dowry and inform her and the family ,take a break and evaluate what the future have for both of you.
If you excuse is because you are 2yrs older than her then that's not an excuse.
Love comes from the heart and not fro the brain. Remember karma.

My brother, you're not totally mature (sorry for that statement) .
You still nurture sexual fantasies in your heart and this is affecting your thinking, from what you wrote, I can say the lady is a good one, she dated a man for 8yrs and it was the man that eventually broke up with her.
Decision is yours bro but take note of this, SEX is nice but not all you need. In fact, sex is even rubbish most times. You will surely get to know that nothing is extraordinary about it!
Please pick all other good qualities over good sex.

Mrbehave:
You can not call a man of 28yrs a kid. May be a novice in relationship since she is my first love.

You're a kid and a terrible one at that. You got engaged to her for no just cause, lied in the name of God to your parents that you had heard from God that she is the one for you, listened to idle talks about your age difference not being the sugar daddy type, including your pastor's who seem quite myopic. And now you want out because your mind have been poisoned. You even had to bring up her past just because you don't want her.

If I were your elder brother, I'd beat fellowship off your head and every hanging position therein. You shouldn't get married to that lady because you are quite unfit to run a home. Psychologically, I'd say you are afar off and not even close.

You must marry a lady you are 10 years older than just because you pastor did same.

Don't worry, walk up to her parents and apologise for wasting their daughter's time. Also tell your family the truth and hand over every church title on your neck before graduating to being a bigger fraud. Imagine lying in the name of God.

This is one reason I don't take people who claim they heard from God when taking they wanted to choose a woman serious.

His only valid reason is the love part. if you do not love someone do not marry the person as its difficult to focus only on your wife if the love is not there....too many beautiful women around

kimbraa:
You're a kid! Take it or leave it. Age isn't the only yardstick for measuring maturity. What of mental/psychological maturity?

while i understand what he is considering doing is not ok for the emotional stress he will put on the lady, I also think you are too much hard on him. should he go ahead to marry the lady and live in depression?

kimbraa:
Wait until you've grown(mental maturity wise) then you can think of getting married 'cause it seems your decisions could be easily influenced by others and we don't like such men for husbands.

He has never had sex with her in 18months.....how dare you accuse him of deciding base on sex?

SoapQueen:
Oga, let her go!

You never loved her, you sound like a child.

I really do not like insensitive and selfish people. You want to build your marital foundation on solely sex. Kpekus go tire you.

You know what I respect in a man?.
Grow some balls and end things with her.

If you asked her out, why not be a man and end things?

Run for your life... I assure u if u dont both u and her will endure a misrable and loveless marriage. You are doind d two of u a favour bro

quote author=Mrbehave post=67940427]My relationship with her is one and a half year and we are to get married by the end of this year. The problem here is that am only two years older than her which so many people complained that the age gap is too small that she will get older than me very soon, infact some thought that she is older than me.Our height are thesame and we are not short.

The man who married her friend who is two years younger than her is five years older than me.The boy friends of all her mates and friends are much older than I am.

My uncle who is a pastor advised me that he doesn't want me to be involved in extra marital affairs base on the fact that my fiancee will grow older than me and might loose interest in sex due to aging.

The problem here is that I engaged her early this year but right now I don't have single love for her that even when I travelled I don't want to come back soon cos i never missed her.This my fiancee started a relationship with a guy at the age of 15.The guy deflowered her at teen age, promised her marriage and dumped her after 8 years of being with her and married another girl and now is me her dreamed man who wants to leave her again, so difficult.I have never had sex with her, was only involved in a French kiss with her and sucking of her boobs.

When I started friending her I told my family that it was GOD who spoke to me to friend her just to gain there approval, can you see the confusion here? We live in thesame street with her just three houses between my house and hers and her mother advised that we should never let anything come between us as it may affect the both families due to the closeness.

So many were happy for her for finding me as I am the right man according to them since I have never been laid and I am 28.

I don't just know what happened I felt unattracted to her and lost interest in her and this has been happening for 8 months now but I hid it because seeing what happened in her past relationship I became afraid.

I cried and cried, prayed to GOD to make her loose interest in me but to no avail.The dowry will be paid this month, I don't like it but my hands are tied.

During the engagement my pastor and church elders were present and they endorsed it.

I don't have any problem with her just the issue of age and zero love that I have for her. She fainted several time because of her last break up, hmm am afraid.Please am tired I want a break up but I don't know how. [/quote]

Mypeople2:
Babe trying the post for you make your comments .When did he say he had sex with her in the post?

Are u a learner? So they've been french kissing & pressing bobby since they started dating sorry no vex...

Esthered:


But you critisized him in your response on this post, so why are you calling my talk nonsense.

Its not u I was referring to, its the person you quoted

Hello MrBehave
Don't listen to what people say here, ask yourself this question
What was the attraction, when the relationship started? Because for you to have lied to your parent, you once loved her. Talk about old memories and belief me you will find that love again and once you find it. Disconnect yourself from all friends relationship advise, They dont help. follow your heart.

Mrbehave:
I wanted to delay it but My mum pushed me and I cant say no since I said it was GOD who spoke to me to go the first time. Am thinking of quitting my job, run away to a place where nobody knows not even my parents and come back after she is married.

Lol

emelda86:


Are u a learner? So they've been french kissing & pressing bobby since they started dating sorry no vex...

But that is called "romance" and not sex.

Mypeople2:
But that is called "romance" and not sex.

Oh OK! Onye nkuzi I no remember say na lomance not xes

OGA, YOU YOURSELF HAVE A PROBLEM, YOU REALLY NEED TO EXAMINE YOUR SELF,. YOU ARE JUST LOOKING FOR EVERY MEANS TO DUMP HER AFTER SULKING THE BOBI, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING, 2 YEARS OLDER THAN HER AND YOU STILL COMPLAIN, WHAT IS AGE COMPARE TO A VIRTUES WIFE? HAD IT BEEN YOU COMPLAINED ABOUT HER ATTITUDE THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN UNDERSTANDABLE.