Hmmmn! Honestly I don't blame her and please this isn't about taking sides.but if she doesn't come to u go to her and sort it out.how can I be under d same room with my husband and not talk to each other,hell no!

I need a job In Jos pls..I resigned from my place of work in Lagos because I was offered admission for my postgraduate program by the university of Jos.. I need a job to keep my self going in this new adventure pls.. I have enough cash for the program but I just Dont want to remain idle doing nothing.....
07058227492

spiceadole:


Don't mind them.

As a single person, I can't survive on salary of 60K.
People get mind o.
The man who earns such money and gets married.
And the woman who agrees to marry him

Oga say what you know. There are many married men earning that salary, and even less. The average salary of a teacher in a private school is lower, yet some married men work in these schools. Not only teachers, all the lab scientists with ND in your universities, and other National Diploma holders in banks, military, police, civil service, custom, prisons, etc. earn around or same figure.

You lots should stop putting pressure on people. Rather preach contentment, financial/wealth management and, of course, empowerment.

This young man failed in the area of financial management. I'm not sure he has kids, yet he allowed his taste and that of his wife pushed him to a 3-bedroom apartment. You can imagine how they spend wrecklessly on other household needs because wifey's biz dey boom - a case of eating their dinner in the morning.

Harsh but anyone would be frustrated if they were in her shoes. Pardon my ignorance, I know things are tough but is there no way you can step your financial situation up too? As per why is she setting up businesses that are flourishing but your own case is different? (I'm not trying to bash you, genuinely curious)

Is that your maximum earning potential as far as skill set? Or you're just settling because the market is trash and can't find anything else? It would help to know the details.

Her tone was harsh and I'd imagine quite emasculating, but like I said I understand her frustration

ceeroh:
There's an opening for the post of a cleaning and fumigation personnel.

The candidate must have prior knowledge of cleaning and pest control (fumigation). He must be neat, hardworking and trustworthy. Ability to communicate in English is a must.

The candidate must be ready to resume immediately.
There's provision for accommodation but the candidate must have a very sound knowledge of how to operate the fumigation machines. This is very important.

Check my signature for contact details

I have 8years experience on fumgation bussiness having worked for a fumigation company in the past

R

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
women are not wired to bear such responsibilities. It's the man's place to take care of the home. Even God was d one that shared the roles. That women are doing good for themselves these days should not fool you.

she is trying,I know..but she knew her husband finance capacity before agreeing to his marriage proposal..only one statement can lead somebody into staunch depression..am putting myself in the OP's shoe..if na me person wey I love tell such..,thinking for don kill me I swear..

emerald16:
I feel I have over burdened her with my own problem and she is carrying way too much on her shoulders cos her parents and siblings are also depending on her.
I felt a pinch of her frustration when I asked her if she could help transfer a little sum of 200 naira to me for airtime, she was about doing it when I told her I actually wanted to send the amount as airtime to my dad,then she flared up saying she will take care of me, herself and even my parents! I felt bad and terrible cos I rarely ask her for money to send to my people except on very rare occasions which are but a few.

I kept mute and didn't feel like talking to her and we haven't exchanged a proper conversation since last night when it happened.

What do I do? Even when I try to initiate a conversation, she doesn't seem interested

Apologise to her and let your family know you don't have money when they ask. Stop heaping your family and your responsibilities on her. Don't you have shame as a man?

Viking007:
Probably the most sensible comment on this thread.

Guy,na true I talk o...I keep wondering what dafuq do I get from marrying if marriage is like this?
Funny enough,its the miserably married ones that are on my neck now to goan marry...seeing their marital lives is enough proof na!

ImaIma1:
When someone says marrying on that kind of salary is not advisable, they will say we are materialistic.

Imagine if a child is involved. You will know that it's not about being prudent or being a wife material.

Meanwhile, on this forum, a guy has been urged on to get married on a 40k salary. You guys should tell yourself the truth and stop hiding under "a good woman will manage"

This is real life, real expenses.

you just said it all. Let us be realistic.

jelel6:
To all those misguided Chelsea fans and heavily bias English media, Sarri winning a trophy has definitely made his first season BETTER THAN Pep's own with Man City. Who only managed fourth place despite having better players than this current Chelsea squad.

Also, the English media darling Pochettino and Klopp still haven't won ANYTHING YET. And one of them will Still be trophyless after CL Final on Saturday.

Chelsea's board and Fans should put that into perspective before calling for Sarri's head. We don't have many top-class players. With the prospective ban and Hazard leaving, we'll still only hope for another Top 4 finish. In fact, missing out wouldn't be a disaster considering the circumstances.

Convince Sarri to stay and rebuff Juventus. Let him have a proper preseason. Forget Lampard for now for God sake.

GTFOH!!!
MOFO!!!

emerald16:
Thanks guys please I don't want this on front page

your plane has already landed at front page destination. As for ur wife, her reaction is just due to stress, you are the husband, get some cash, take her out for lunch, play with her, and everything becomes history. She can even send #1500. Credit for your dad later.

adewumiopeyemi:
Is a personal issue bro solve this issue by ur self not to bring ur family issue to nairaland u are man bro

as him swallow him pride to ask you and I on nairaland to see if we have a better know how to his prob is it bad ?

Mr perfect park well jor if you no get better tin to say, let people with sense contribute.

op as for me give her time to heal from the issue , don't talk about it again, you just be your normal then re-strategize on how to double your hustle to double your digits . so help us God all.

Kenturkey048:
she is trying,I know..but she knew her husband finance capacity before agreeing to his marriage proposal..only one statement can lead somebody into staunch depression..am putting myself in the OP's shoe..if na me person wey I love tell such..,thinking for don kill me I swear..

Yea I get. But op no suppose ask am for that airtime. A man should never discard his dignity. Men like Okonkwo in Things Fall Apart are fast disappearing these days.

Acidosis:


Oga say what you know. There are many married men earning that salary, and even less. The average salary of a teacher in a private school is lower, yet some married men work in these schools. Not only teachers, all the lab scientists with ND in your universities, and other National Diploma holders in banks, military, police, civil service, custom, prisons, etc. earn around and even lower.

You lots should stop putting pressures on people. Rather preach contentment, financial/wealth management and, of course, empowerment.

This young man failed in the area of financial management. I'm not sure he has kids, yet he allowed his taste and that of his wife pushed him to a 3-bedroom apartment. You can imagine how they spend wrecklessly on other household needs because wifey's biz dey boom - a case of eating their dinner in the morning.

No mind that one...criticising 60k salary. Homes have survived on less!!!

emerald16:
My wife has been really helpful from when we started dating, she has actually taken me from grass to grace and helped me from a self contained to a 3bedroom flat. She has been helping with house expenses for over a year now, I do work but my salary is very small, just around 60k.

She is into business which flourished so much but it's a little down for now. She helped made our marriage possible by contributing far more than i. She is every woman's dream and is even poised to help me secure a better job and a side business.

I have also contributed my part in helping her grow her business though not financially but through technical support, expert advice and more as she just started her business the very month we started dating but though in a small way with very little capital.

I feel I have over burdened her with my own problem and she is carrying way too much on her shoulders cos her parents and siblings are also depending on her.
I felt a pinch of her frustration when I asked her if she could help transfer a little sum of 200 naira to me for airtime, she was about doing it when I told her I actually wanted to send the amount as airtime to my dad,then she flared up saying she will take care of me, herself and even my parents! I felt bad and terrible cos I rarely ask her for money to send to my people except on very rare occasions which are but a few.

I kept mute and didn't feel like talking to her and we haven't exchanged a proper conversation since last night when it happened.
. .
What do I do? Even when I try to initiate a conversation, she doesn't seem interested

she's stretched thin, there's something going on in her mind, when a woman stops talking to you she's about to make a horrible decision, I better massage her and pet her to confession, let her vet the anger and you should shut the f#ckup never to reply, then make up with outings and gifts, a shoe and a bag will do. next time know her limits and don't thin her out.

Lexusgs430:



You disrespected your wives generosity...........

Exactly and he did it in such a shameful manner. I'm even shocked he has to come here to report before he realises he's a failed husband.

godofuck231:
she's stretched thin, there's something going on in her mind, when a woman stops talking to you she's about to make a horrible decision, I better massage her and pet her to confession, let her vet the anger and you should shut the f#ckup never to reply, then make up with outings and gifts, a shoe and a bag will do. next time know her limits and don't thin her out.

U people will not kill me with senselessness!
OP borrowed 200 naira card yet u miraculously want him to suddenly have access to money for outings,gifts,a shoe and a bag From where? Jumia?

Una go just dey advise anyhow!!!

clive2u:
the tin dey vex me

Most of them saying add another income to ur salary are idle, as if starting business is that easy

There is no two way to it, than to man up and initiate more conversation. You are focusing more on financial hitches than building togetherness in your home. Your focus on money will not help as some point as expenses will keep increasing. I will suggest you get more sources of income, work alongside the existing and get more and more. Keep improving, and shift focus on your salary. If more skills need to be learnt, please opt for it. If it's more support to your wife, please go for it. The focus should not be on who is bringing in more. She is still your all as far as marriage is concern and issues as this nature are normal in marriage. Give things time sire...

emerald16:
My wife has been really helpful from when we started dating, she has actually taken me from grass to grace and helped me from a self contained to a 3bedroom flat. She has been helping with house expenses for over a year now, I do work but my salary is very small, just around 60k.

She is into business which flourished so much but it's a little down for now. She helped made our marriage possible by contributing far more than i. She is every woman's dream and is even poised to help me secure a better job and a side business.

I have also contributed my part in helping her grow her business though not financially but through technical support, expert advice and more as she just started her business the very month we started dating but though in a small way with very little capital.

I feel I have over burdened her with my own problem and she is carrying way too much on her shoulders cos her parents and siblings are also depending on her.
I felt a pinch of her frustration when I asked her if she could help transfer a little sum of 200 naira to me for airtime, she was about doing it when I told her I actually wanted to send the amount as airtime to my dad,then she flared up saying she will take care of me, herself and even my parents! I felt bad and terrible cos I rarely ask her for money to send to my people except on very rare occasions which are but a few.

I kept mute and didn't feel like talking to her and we haven't exchanged a proper conversation since last night when it happened.

What do I do? Even when I try to initiate a conversation, she doesn't seem interested

Try and watch African Magic or her favourite channel together with her. Laugh with her even when the occasion isn't that funny to you.

luminouz:

2 solutions to that then...the hard way or the easy way


Easy way? ,refuse food,become moody, start tying ropes together and eyeing the ceiling,dont bathe...she gets the implied message u wan kill ursef!!!
This option has 80% success rate

Hard way? Talk tough and scatter everything in the house,let her know u try ur best and shout it that u guys are partners in the marriage,there will always be twists and turns! So she should deal with it unless she wants u to steal or do yahoo...then refuse dont ask for help from her henceforth till she gives u herself
This option works 90% but with higher risk tag...


Sense will not kill this ALIEN

Your opinion make sense jor!!!!!

friendl:
Don't understand you ,as a guy-man ,you don't tell a lady everything ,besides it can't be that bad you can't get #200 ,well leave her for a while ,she come around ,...


Women are not meant to give ,GOD created them to collect ,even in sex ,they collect ,...

gbam

BotafogoJunior:
Your opinion make sense jor!!!!!

Viking007:
Probably the most sensible comment on this thread.

That comment by luminouz doesn’t make any sense! It wasn’t ordinary 200 naira (it was the last straw) this lady has been taking care of your immediately family,as if that isn’t enough you are telling her to start sending money to your relatives,It’s even very embarrassing telling your wife to send money to your dad let alone just 200naira Its just super wrong
This poster is taking advantage of his wife generousity

Preshy561:
Op, biko, what do you use your 60k For?

I wonder, maybe he's irresponsible or he drinks, a lot of men are looking for a supportive wife, 60k plus what the wife earns shouldn't be too low for the family

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Yea I get. But op no suppose ask am for that airtime. A man should never discard his dignity. Men like Okonkwo in Things Fall Apart are fast disappearing these days.

you are ryt...e got it wrong right there...pride is very important in a mans life..

ImaIma1:
When someone says marrying on that kind of salary is not advisable, they will say we are materialistic.

Imagine if a child is involved. You will know that it's not about being prudent or being a wife material.

Meanwhile, on this forum, a guy has been urged on to get married on a 40k salary. You guys should tell yourself the truth and stop hiding under "a good woman will manage"

This is real life, real expenses.

So you're going to ignore the fact that the marriage has been fine up until this issue? The fact is that this story actually proves that getting married on a budget can work albeit with some discomfort which the parties should expect.

Man... You need to seat up... No how wife is submissive, once they have upper hand in financing the home... The marriage can't be the same because of their ego! If you are one that has the resources,wouldn't you provide for her family? Woman will always be woman... Manage your home and know that...all women behaves like that...she even tried as you have described her

ImaIma1:
When someone says marrying on that kind of salary is not advisable, they will say we are materialistic.

Imagine if a child is involved. You will know that it's not about being prudent or being a wife material.

Meanwhile, on this forum, a guy has been urged on to get married on a 40k salary. You guys should tell yourself the truth and stop hiding under "a good woman will manage"

This is real life, real expenses.

It's not about the income, it's about how wise he can utilize the income, he's even lucky the wife is working so the question is what does he do with the money

luminouz:

U people will not kill me with senselessness!
OP borrowed 200 naira card yet u miraculously want him to suddenly have access to money for outings,gifts,a shoe and a bag From where? Jumia?

Una go just dey advise anyhow!!!

You can imagine

I wonder how some people just dish out advise. I guess they want him to go and rob a bank or scam a foreigner. The same people will rebuke him if caught. #SMH

Money comes and goes but the loyalty that stays and supports is valuable she should have sent it sometimes yes it’s frustrating when you have to handle all the bills but for the people we love we should not count the cost. I’ve sent credit to someone when they only called me for one minute