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Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore - Romance - Nairaland

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Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by Nobody: 12:23am On Aug 09, 2019
My first and only relationship ended 5years ago,it was based on mutual agreement. since then I decided to go solo for sometime.

I had so many challenges during this period of time, avoiding any emotional attachment and even ended up with a couple of female friends.

Things have been going on fine until January this year, I met this lady on my way back from work,we phone tagged before I alighted from the bus.funny enough she called me as soon as she got home,we chatted like we'av known for years.


We went out on a date in April and just like the first time we met, she was still decently dressed and with no makeup on. Got to know alot about her that day and we have been chatting frequently since then. I got to know some of her family members when she invited me for a Thanksgiving ceremony.


She can hardly go a day without talking to me. somehow I developed feelings for her,but when I did ask her out she said No. last month we were on another date, I asked her about Marriage and a possibility of being with her forever.she told me to stop dreaming. instead of a response,she keeps tormenting me with her care and affection without requesting anything in return. she will be telling me how handsome I am, and how any girl can fall for me.


Am beginning to think she is dating someone.but even if she is we ain't knacking neither am I spending money on her. so am confused
WHAT DOES SHE REALLY WANT FROM ME?

4 Likes

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by ubunja(m): 12:40am On Aug 09, 2019
So a girl meets with you, invites you to family gatherings etc AND STILL YOU ASK HER OUT??

What the fvck is this?

Then a couple of dates later you talk marriage?
Again, what the actual fvck??


Why ask a girl out who is already going out with you?

And why chase marriage as a man? Dude, chase sex. Let her bring that marriage stuff up herself. Don't do a woman's job for her. Let her ask "So where is this going....?". Not you.

133 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by Lotel: 12:49am On Aug 09, 2019
ubunja:
So a girl meets with you, invites you to family gatherings etc AND STILL YOU ASK HER OUT??

What the fvck is this?

Then a couple of dates later you talk marriage?
Again, what the actual fvck??


Why ask a girl out who is already going out with you?

And why chase marriage as a man? Dude, chase sex. Let her bring that marriage stuff up herself. Don't do a woman's job for her. Let her ask "So where is this going....?". Not you.
GBAM!!!!

33 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by Nobody: 12:55am On Aug 09, 2019
I think she knows you are a marriage material that is why she had the boldness to introduce you to her family. But she really loves someone else that is why she finds it hard to agree to date you. She is using you as a second option in case the other guy she really loves disappoint her.

24 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by ubunja(m): 1:01am On Aug 09, 2019
vingeophysicist:
I think she knows you are a marriage material that is why she had the boldness to introduce you to her family. But she really loves someone else that is why she finds it hard to agree to date you. She is using you as a second option in case the other guy she really loves disappoint her.
not far from what I'm thinking myself. I would only differ and say she's FVCKING someone.

But we're on the same track.

Also, once a woman thinks you're marriage material that means NO SEX FOR YOU. Cause she's "saving" you for marriage.

Also that hot/cold stance is her "keeping the engine running", so to speak. She doesn't want him running off to some girl. Yet she can't give him play. For now.

That's how Nice Guys hang around a woman for years. While she screws the whole world except him.

75 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by Nobody: 1:20am On Aug 09, 2019
Una no dey crash ? cheesy

2 Likes

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by cenaman(m): 2:13am On Aug 09, 2019
ubunja:
So a girl meets with you, invites you to family gatherings etc AND STILL YOU ASK HER OUT??

What the fvck is this?

Then a couple of dates later you talk marriage?
Again, what the actual fvck??


Why ask a girl out who is already going out with you?

And why chase marriage as a man? Dude, chase sex. Let her bring that marriage stuff up herself. Don't do a woman's job for her. Let her ask "So where is this going....?". Not you.
You nail it man.

8 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by VicYo(m): 2:16am On Aug 09, 2019
vingeophyisicist have said it... exactly what i think

1 Like

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by cenaman(m): 2:20am On Aug 09, 2019
Girl give you green light instead of you to disconnect the switch so that nobody go fit press am back to yellow or probably red, you use your hand switch it(by asking her out) back to yellow. that girl has already see you as her lover (boyfriend) that's if ur explanation are true, why asking her out again?

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by Nobody: 2:41am On Aug 09, 2019
So many relationships wahala after all of us have claimed Alpha men. We are all almost weak men when we are with the ones that make us drop our defences..

Don't be surprised Ubunja and ilegend have relationships problems too

26 Likes

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by ubunja(m): 3:29am On Aug 09, 2019
GutsOverFear:
So many relationships wahala after all of us have claimed Alpha men. We are all almost weak men when we are with the ones that make us drop our defences..

Don't be surprised Ubunja and ilegend have relationships problems too
the only relationship problems Ubunja has is "Who to impregnate next?".

As for "Does she love me or not?", that shît ain't happening since I switched my emotions off and dedicated me life to chasing pussy not hearts.

25 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by Nobody: 3:45am On Aug 09, 2019
vingeophysicist:
I think she knows you are a marriage material that is why she had the boldness to introduce you to her family. But she really loves someone else that is why she finds it hard to agree to date you. She is using you as a second option in case the other guy she really loves disappoint her.
Judging by that I don't want to wait for a lady to dump my ass
Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by ubunja(m): 3:48am On Aug 09, 2019
Mudisolo2:
Judging by that I don't want to wait for a lady to dump my ass
technically she wont dump you cause you not dating. It's like you still don't understand what is happening.

2 Likes

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by Nobody: 3:48am On Aug 09, 2019
RatDead:
Una no dey crash ? cheesy
we settle on heart matters
Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by Nobody: 3:51am On Aug 09, 2019
ubunja:
So a girl meets with you, invites you to family gatherings etc AND STILL YOU ASK HER OUT??

What the fvck is this?

Then a couple of dates later you talk marriage?
Again, what the actual fvck??


Why ask a girl out who is already going out with you?

And why chase marriage as a man? Dude, chase sex. Let her bring that marriage stuff up herself. Don't do a woman's job for her. Let her ask "So where is this going....?". Not you.
Thanks alot,hopefully this works.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by Nobody: 3:53am On Aug 09, 2019
cenaman:
Girl give you green light instead of you to disconnect the switch so that nobody go fit press am back to yellow or probably red, you use your hand switch it(by asking her out) back to yellow. that girl has already see you as her lover (boyfriend) that's if ur explanation are true, why asking her out again?
Defining boundaries
Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by CosmicPhoenix: 3:54am On Aug 09, 2019
ubunja:
the only relationship problems Ubunja has is "Who to impregnate next?".

As for "Does she love me or not?", that shît ain't happening since I switched my emotions off and dedicated me life to chasing pussy not hearts.

6 Likes

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by Nobody: 3:56am On Aug 09, 2019
ubunja:
technically she wont dump you cause you not dating. It's like you still don't understand what is happening.
Probably we should start hanging out and doing those lovers stuff. in conclusion I should be less of a gentle man in this issue
Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by Nobody: 3:58am On Aug 09, 2019
GutsOverFear:
So many relationships wahala after all of us have claimed Alpha men. We are all almost weak men when we are with the ones that make us drop our defences..

Don't be surprised Ubunja and ilegend have relationships problems too
you're right, never tut a day like this would come
Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by vincentjk(m): 4:55am On Aug 09, 2019
So unfortunate things turned out this way. You probably didn't play your games well

You would have fkd her a week after you guys met because she was going crazy and calling you then all these wouldn't have happened.

3 Likes

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by Nobody: 5:19am On Aug 09, 2019
vincentjk:
So unfortunate things turned out this way. You probably didn't play your games well

You would have fkd her a week after you guys met because she was going crazy and calling you then all these wouldn't have happened.
Honest truth is she still calls at every opportunity she have,to know if am OK and all that. used to be a sharp shooter,like I know how to get what I want.but this one pass me walahi
That's why I had to run to my NL family.

2 Likes

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by Nobody: 5:24am On Aug 09, 2019
Don't fancy ladies spending the night at my corner but I guess.Monday and Tuesday break will be a nice time to have her over. Event planners in the house your ideas will be welcome for a two day indoor activities.

2 Likes

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by vincentjk(m): 5:29am On Aug 09, 2019
Mudisolo2:
Honest truth is she still calls at every opportunity she have,to know if am OK and all that. used to be a sharp shooter,like I know how to get what I want.but this one pass me walahi
That's why I had to run to my NL family.

It's fine bro. I think ubunja made a point up there

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by Nobody: 5:35am On Aug 09, 2019
ubunja:
So a girl meets with you, invites you to family gatherings etc AND STILL YOU ASK HER OUT??

What the fvck is this?

Then a couple of dates later you talk marriage?
Again, what the actual fvck??


Why ask a girl out who is already going out with you?

And why chase marriage as a man? Dude, chase sex. Let her bring that marriage stuff up herself. Don't do a woman's job for her. Let her ask "So where is this going....?". Not you.

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by XhosaNostra(f): 5:44am On Aug 09, 2019
GutsOverFear:
So many relationships wahala after all of us have claimed Alpha men. We are all almost weak men when we are with the ones that make us drop our defences..

Don't be surprised Ubunja and ilegend have relationships problems too

Lol, I don't know about the other one, but as for Ubunja, I think he's living his life as this big time seducer only through his posts here on NL, to convince his gullible fanboys who can't think for themselves. In short, he has them right where he wants them, 'inside a bottle'. They're the bìtches he often speaks about (the wretched mugus ain't even aware) because in reality, his kind is not valued enough for anyone to be throwing themselves senselessly at them, when South Africa has a lot of good-looking men. Why would any woman with no self-esteem issues be taking shìt from an ugly, smelly guy with no sense of style? That's what a typical Zimbabwean man looks like. The only thing they have going for them is their intelligence & great conversational skills. Many date their fellow country women because they have no other choice, other women refuse to take the risk of kissing a literal frog, hoping it'll turn into a handsome prince grin I don't know what on earth he's here yammering on about daily, but I can bet 90% of it is some made up crap or it only works on the lepers of society & drugged-out street women.

33 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by Stillthebest: 6:05am On Aug 09, 2019
Show her I-dont-care-attitide and act like you have many options. Ladies treat men who they feel as "not-hard" like this.

Stop picking her calls. You ain't losing. She either leaves or give in.

She will want to know why. Tell her exactly why you did that and that you are not ready to waste your time with her.

Watch her back as she leaves you now and forever or leaves temporarily then come back later or stays. Don't waste your time man.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by Nobody: 6:17am On Aug 09, 2019
Stillthebest:
Show her I-dont-care-attitide and act like you have many options. Ladies treat men who they feel as "not-hard" like this.

Stop picking her calls. You ain't losing. She either leaves or give in.

She will want to know why. Tell her exactly why you did that and that you are not ready to waste your time with her.

Watch her back as she leaves you now and forever or leaves temporarily then come back later or stays. Don't waste your time man.
so I will do just this and keep you guys updated.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by Nobody: 6:26am On Aug 09, 2019
Ubunja already told you all you need to know. I think the lady likes you so there's no point asking her out. If a lady tells me that any lady will be lucky to have me to herself, she already passed a message about how she feels about me. Be the man here and take over

Just go straight to what people in a relationship do - fvck! After that, she will be the one asking the question; "what are we?"

But before you get to the bed part, give her attention just the way she does to you. Show her you're the type of guy any lady will feel secured being with. Treat her like a queen and spike fun into the relationship by not doing things the conventional way.

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by Useku(m): 6:29am On Aug 09, 2019
One new story must surface Sha,hope say all these things no be fictions.

In every friendship/relationship,either of the parties always have control over the other.

You had abinitio but you lost it to her the day you asked her out . She started the chase you could have played along, remain in charge, call the shots , act nicely and get her laid.

But we relinquished that power to her by acting like a learner and now the erstwhile chaser is now the chased.

Tell her about this your new nice female friend after which you cut all attention by half.then if she really wants you,she will start asking questions then you take back your place and do the needful ASAP.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by ubunja(m): 6:32am On Aug 09, 2019
EditLord:
Ubunja already told you all you need to know. I think the lady likes you so there's no point asking her out. If a lady tells me that any lady will be lucky to have me herself, she already passed a message about how she feels about me.
Just go straight to what people in a relationship do - fvck! After that, she will be the one asking the question; "what are we?"
Lord but those are the worst words a woman can say to a guy bro.

That's the start of a Friendzone right there. That Husband-Material business.

8 Likes

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by Nobody: 6:37am On Aug 09, 2019
ubunja:
Lord but those are the worst words a woman can say to a guy bro.

That's the start of a Friendzone right there. That Husband-Material business.
grin I don't think it applies in all situation. She may be passing a subtle message of interest. Why friend zone someone you've recently met and showers attention on?

1 Like

Re: Help: Don't Know What She Wants Anymore by Nobody: 6:37am On Aug 09, 2019
ubunja:
Lord but those are the worst words a woman can say to a guy bro.

That's the start of a Friendzone right there. That Husband-Material business.
shocked
ubunja:
Lord but those are the worst words a woman can say to a guy bro.

That's the start of a Friendzone right there. That Husband-Material business.

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