'/'/

@ujujoan - You make me want to believe that women like to get upset all in the name of being told the truth.

@ujujoan - You mean I should have told her the guy and start another battle clearing myself of not partaking?

poster, are helping your wife enough, cook, clean, change and bath kids, run errands, make the bed, etc
hope you are sharing in the duties.

Fbjo
L

@OP,

whatever you do, don't listen to chair cover or uju. How can you girls tell him to tell his wife the reason?? SAY WHAT?? Miss cc imagine yourself in the same situation and your husband tells you that honey' we should not take this housegirl in cos my bulge starts growing everytime I look at her' as a woman and a human being how would you feel? Women are emotional creatures and I for one will not take it lightly with him,  It would affect me emotionally and bring down my self esteem and I would throw it in his face everytime we have a fight. Callme childish,  At least I am being honest.

In the bible, God said if a something is tempting you, cut it off,  So my friend, don't allow the housegirl in your house and don't tell your wife the real reason. Seeing as how nigerians are suspicious,  Here is a suggestion, tell your wife that after praying at night, you dreamt that the girl is a witch and part of a cult and you don't want to take the chance of finding out if your dream is true or not. You should act really terrified wen speaking about this to give your reason more valdity.

Like another poster said, your wife must be insisting on this housegirl jst because you don't like her,  Which madam go bring housegirl wey oga like?? So give her a reason why you don't want the girl, just not the true reason.

@CC n all single ladies in her line of thought, 'nkan ti o ye yi poju eyi to ye yi lo'. Like someone said on this thread, we'll wait til u guys get married, u'll know then that Marriage is not big grammar, it's not just all words. Been monitoring the thread and I'd like to tell u all that we've reached a compromise. My wife's reason for earlier insisting I took the maid was not because of her distrust n not just because of my straight 'No'answer, her mum satified the maid, her aunt also told my wife that the maid was the best they could get, saying she's (the aunt)known the maid from childhood. My wife's challenge was going back to her parents without a cogent reason for the maid's rejection. The mum called me on the matter and I still told her the same thing I told my wife (that I don't want the maid). I personally don't know her family's interest, I do know they want our good sha, that's why I've told them to keep searching. For the record, my wife's not lazy, she's 34weeks preg, you know how it is with preg women.

Good on you Dami, Stand by your NO. Pregnant or not, dont tell your wife the real reason. Your wife would be much more emotional right now because of her pregnancy, So ma ti e try eh.

'/'/

Merry Xmas to you too.

The fact that people are married doesnt stop them from being human.

In case you dont know,

Married women still see some guys out there and have hots for them, Married men still have erections looking at other women or girls

But any sensible woman/man would try to avoid the girl/guy instead of hanging around him/her and trying to resist the devil.

Wife is pregnant and possibly lost appetite for sex, Young nubile Househelp is around with Pointed Booby. Perfect recipe for trouble

@op - I dont understand the language you wrote there but I hope you were not hard on CC and Uju.  We learn everyday.  Its good it turned out well for you. Wish your wife safe delivery.  I am out.

'/'/

CC,

How far as per wetin we talk?

Ujujoan:
. If a full grown man can lust after his teenage prospective househelp, then he's not so high on morals. That IMO is the real reason why he doesn't want to tell his wife why he's rejecting her.


He can go ahead and reject the househelp, but it doesn't change the fact that he has failed his wife!

I'm surprised sha that men think being faithful is some sort of big virtue, when in actual fact, it's what is ordinarily expected in a marriage.

Did you see the comments in bold? Now How many married men would not be turn on by a pretty 18yr old? Thats why I said married people are still flesh and blood not Stone and wood.

I have asked that why is the Pope who is high on morals not surrounded by hot 18yr old babes

Oh ok gr8 . . . . I'm not married so I have to keep my opinions to myself on issues like this. Sorry poster, you 'Mr. Married Man' has definitely got the issue covered.

Forget that your wife is pregnant and needs someone she can trust. What better person than a girl her aunty watched grow, her mother knows her character and the woman in question likes her . . . But hey, oga doesn't want to mistake her for his wife and get her pregnant by mistake!

Whatever you say man . . . . watever you say!

I just luuurrrvve Nairaland!

I am glad it has been resolved .

It's best to flee all appearances of evil

God bless us all and merry xmas

I'm sorry Dayo, I know you guys really want to be justified on this issue, but I can't help but express my disappointment over a married man's blatant declaration of his inability to resist a sexy teenager!

Like CC said, in that exact way, he'll be having a hard time fighting off sexual urgers from hot chicks around him. From his neice to his sister in law, to his colleagues and neighbour's daughter.

If this is what marraige is, then maybe JB was right, I'm not ready for it!

She can go ahead to bring a maid in as much is not a Calaber girl no matter how urgly

@Uju,

I am sure most women (probably)including you still have crush on some guys that are not your bf or your husband.

Are you saying after being married, Everyone else stop being attractive to you?

If your husband now decides to employ a guy you find attractive as a househelp, Would you go ahead and tell him that the new houseboy makes you wet?

@ Dayo

Are you saying a man is right to sleep with his househelp as far as she's hot

Because I think the issue here is if his actions are justified or not. It's one thing to admire or crush over someone and it's another to be sexually attracted to the person to the extent that you can no longer control yourself. Now I dont expect this man to be above that, but don't except his wife to be happy about it.

And maybe I can't help if I'm attracted to my husband's hot Driver, but am I supposed to say it to him and expect him to 'understand'

You keep talking about the pope and pretty girls around him and I keep wondering what the connection is. This man has a wife! It's not like he's sex starved like the pope.

Ujujoan:

@ Dayo

Are you saying a man is right to sleep with his househelp as far as she's hot

Is the man trying to sleep with the househelp? I think its the other way round, He is trying to avoid it or where did you get the idea from that he is trying to sleep with her?

Because I think the issue here is if his actions are justified or not. It's one thing to admire or crush over someone and it's another to be sexually attracted to the person to the extent that you can no longer control yourself. Now I dont expect this man to be above that, but don't except his wife to be happy about it.

And maybe I can't help if I'm attracted to my husband's hot Driver, but am I supposed to say it to him and expect him to 'understand'

Where has the man told his wife explicitly that he is attracted to the househelp and expecting his wife to understand? Isnt that the reverse of what the situation is?

Uju, are you haggling with Dayo, you go do am till kingdom come. avoid him and Sagamite, they argue till forever . so no need try slicing onion with him

if for erection problem the guy doesn't want househelp ummm, odikwa serious.

i was thinking the guy wanted them to save money, willing to help her etc. but

armyofone:

Uju, are you haggling with Dayo, you go do am till kingdom come. avoid him and Sagamite, they argue till forever . so no need try slicing onion with him

if for erection problem the guy doesn't want househelp ummm, odikwa serious.

i was thinking the guy wanted them to save money, willing to help her etc. but

OPSsssssssss

whether a man puts on the appearance of having moral standards or not, the fact still remains that 99% of men will throw away their moral standards when faced with serious temptations. It's been happening for ages and will continue to happen.
Women have a stronger will to fight temptations than men. Men are programmed to cheat and lust after what isn't theirs period! The blame doesn't entirely lie on the guy. Women know they have the power to bring a man crashing to his knees panting with lust and so they go out of their way to entice, seduce and entrap the men.
Bottomline is this, the poster has a reached a compromise with his wife. he is not backing down from his no because he has seen what the future might hold if he relents, and all he can see in that future is TEMPTATIONS everywhere, I give him props because he knows himself and knows that try as he might to shun the devil, he will one day succumb. They will keep looking for a maid. His wife really needs a more matured woman to take care of the house and baby when it comes and not an 18 yr old with perky boobs, pretty face etc.
A word of advice to all the married women out there hiring teenagers as maids, SHINE YOUR EYES well well. You husband might not be messing around with ur help but that doesn't mean that ur help isn't doing things like walking around half clothed or in a wrapper or towel in front of oga when madam is out.
My step mom brought her younger sister to live with us years ago. Come to find out that my dad was doing her and paying her hush money. After he died, we were cleaning out his closets when we found his "black book" as we call it and in it were listings from when this chick was 18 up until she was 25, of dates, hotels and her name with all monies he was giving her beside her name. She confessed to her sister after some serious decking! So yes, men will sleep with anything that tempts them. My dad fell for this girl not becos she's fine (she looks like a frog) but because of her attributes.

Dayo

The man clealry stated that the girl spoke good english and some other likeable attribute. He also said that he doesn't trust himself to be able to handle close association with her without being tempted to sleep with her. I mean come to think of it, if really his only grouse is the girls flirtatious disposition, then he shouldn't be looking for a way to hide his reason for rejecting her. I'm sure the wife will not even want to see the girl around again if she thinks she's flirting with her husband. But of course that is NOT the case here. He likes her . .  he's afraid to admit it to his wife and her family because he know how icky it'll sound.

Now my problem is that you guys are encouraging him. Whether he tells her or not, he has failed her. Telling is not so important when the deed has already being done.

And please how many posters have suggested to him to tell his wife that he finds the girl attractive and she'll be too glad to send her away? (like she'll be grateful for every opportunity to save her husband from losing his sexual control and impregnating their teenage househelo)

How many people have said to him 'don't tell your wife oh, she'll raise hell' . . . (Like she's not entitled to do just that!)

How many people have come up with the annoying cliche 'women will never understand' (Like she's supposed to).

How many people have said to him, 'you've done the right thing, let your wife go to hell' . . .

The issue for me  is 'is he right by being attracted to a teenager or not? To the extent that he can't control himself'? I don't think he is and the only way to redeem himself is to ask himself why a little girl can threathen his marriage because that is NOT normal. His poor wife on the other hand needs to know that her husband is lusting after little girls. She deserves to know that her marriage is in trouble!

But even if he's too ashamed to tell her, I think she deserves more than an insensitive 'I don't like her'!

The poster is not really sincere with his wife and with is NLers!!! , its like he has been cheating on her all these while and now feels if he allows this lady maid and "yawa come gas", the whole truth, of what happens outside,etc will blow out and they will see that he is not what he claims to be.

Poster, its all left to u to be sincere to ur darling wife

Another thing is, the wife may want to use that as a bait to confirm some things, hmmmm!!!! Women of today are wiser than your think. Since the maid has been with the family for so long, she may be planted as a stooge, to get the truth

I hope its not what am thinking shaaaa!!!!

@uju - You no wan leave this matter?  Men know themselves more than you can ever imagine ( just as women do)  I tell you, when this woman raises hell upon knowing the reason, you wont be there. Like I said earlier, maybe women just like to get themselves angry unnecessarily.  What you dont know won hurt you.

I law we say res ipsa loquitur - thing thing speaks for itself.

poster you do well.where your wife was blind you could see.

ping pong:

@uju - You no wan leave this matter? Men know themselves more than you can ever imagine ( just as women do) I tell you, when this woman raises hell upon knowing the reason, you wont be there. Like I said earlier, maybe women just like to get themselves angry unnecessarily. What you dont know won hurt you.

I law we say res ipsa loquitur - thing thing speaks for itself.

Abeg oh, the poster's wife is not my sister so e no consern me!

I just don't want people to keep to stop this fallacious declaration - It's Normal!

@ Ujujoan

I think you are making a big mistake here.

One thing i want you to know is that ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE. And that is how relationships start.

You can be attracted to any  person , but you must know when to keep your distance.

And why are you CRUCIFYING the man.Are you a saint?  Or are you saying you have not been attracted to some body other than your BF before?

@ Ujujoan

The man has not fail his wife in any way.

He is just taking precautionary steps.

MY AUNT SACKED HER HOUSE MAID, WHEN SHE REALIZE THAT THE  GIRL DON'T WEAR BRA IN THE HOUSE. IS THAT A CRIME .

she always smile when i say anyting even if what i said is not making sense. She look at me like this is a man

lmao!!!!!!!!


this world sef!!!




@ topic

if the wife is pregnant, carrying big tummy which will only get bigger by the day, experiencing mood swings, having other pregnancy-related stuff eg pimples and the like, and now the young attractive non-pregnant maid wants to waltz in like a breath of fresh air and be everything the wife is not.

e be like say this story get k-leg.