Hire the maid abeg. And if you yield into the temptation, your wife will be left to blame no one but herself.

you better let her realised d reasons for ur decision now. but if she insist try to watch and study her because it might be a set up for u

@ Poster, I have a great respect for you for admitting your weakness. I can see that you are ruled by the fear of God.
Men like you are 10 out of 100. Mind you, I am a man like you!
Please flee for the sake of your life and for blissful home sake!

I tell you, for most men, employing the housemaid would have been a big plus; for their selfish and lustful gains.

But I must say that I am disappointed in most ladies that made contributions. You are not helping the poster at all, but you are
influencing him to go the wrong way. I don't blame most of you, If you had experienced a cheated hubby , you wouldn't have said what you said.

How would you feel if you heard that your hubby impregnated your housemaid? Most marital problems are caused by you women.

what is the temptation there?can't see any.

rotflamo!!!!

^^
Just stole this pic!! NICE!!

slap1:

A maid that is smiling at the future oga when they never employ her!? No problem, employ her.

LMAO! If you feel you can't resist the temptation the maid may pose in the the future, then don't employ her. Stand by what you say. Just 18 and she's causing this havoc. . .

Has the poster considered life without using a slave?

Seriously,if its just you and your wife,what is the work in the house that either of you lazy slobs can't do by yourselves, or you just want to inflate your ego by paying some child, peanuts to kiss up to you and wipe your yansh when you come out of the toilet

These past three days have been full of drama. My wife brought a maid to the house for me to interview and decide whether to take her or not. After the interview, I told her without mincing words that I didn't want the maid. For the past three days she hasn't said a word to me. Will I see temptation right in front of me and embrace it? Pls, do I backdown or stand my ground. Advice pls


you have to communicate to your wife, what you saw in the maid and why she should not hire her
make her to see reasons, don't force her, no argument, don't be in control, give her rooms to express herself.
IF she still refuses to give in, you give in and leave her to the consequences that will come out of it.

the discussion should be during bed time please
and make sure that you are sincere with her.
touch her soft sport even without telling her the truth,she will give in
no woman is heartless, you have to get it right.
all the best

@kabukabu - Why you wan come spoil this thread with another topic na.

@ Poster,

It's possible your wife already knows why u have refused employing her.

I bet she's waiting for you to spit it out.

Please dont. It's not necessary. It could cause more havoc.

However, you must give ur reasons.

try to watch and study her because it might be a set up for u

i have to agree.

some women really are laidback like that, but i know this lady who hired a really attractive househelp and i wondered if she was trying to set her husband up, since she [the wife] was at work most of the time.

just makes one wonder.


and actually, as kabukabu pointed out, why are househelps so necessary in nigeria?

if both you and your husby are both bankers in lagos, I bet you won't be asking this question!

@poster, please dont tell your wife your reasons just insist that you dont want that particular maid, she would get over it with time. you have a good reason and it better if you dont share it with your wife. this situaton cant be compare to female colleagues in the office, am married and i do have female colleagues showing interest in me, just i just act polite and professional at work. i dont engage in informal office gist, i dont hang out after work, i go home straight from office, and i dont give them a ride no matter what. I have been able to manage their advances so far.

a maid have access to everything in your house, and the best way to avoid temptation in this instance is by elimination. dont allow her anywhere your home.

I am not in the habit of telling a married couple how to run their home but i sure will run helter skelter should I not want to fall into any temptation.

Thread starter, kick that house help to the kerbs with immediate alacrity and please  
Ignore these women as they'll be the same people to lampoon and lambast you when it goes peer shaped. And please don't even bother giving your wife that reason if you can't come up with anything better.

^^^ Whao!! @Brai777, you command my respect! you are my type of man.

Someone, who stands for something- principled

@ Poster,
The bible says "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of all WISDOM". I guessed from your comment you have the fear of God in your heart but not sure how to handle this with your wife. I advice you of the followings:
1. Do not tell your wife now the real reason as to why you don't want the maid. You will later on, when you know she can handle that truth.
2. Point out to her that the lady in question is not the type of maid you are comfortable with. Why? Point out the expensive phone
3. Over qualified maid can sometimes not stay for long as I guess she will have some future career ambitions
4. Ask her that both of your should pray about any maid you will be bringing into your home, as you don't just want to be any kind of person/s.

The reason for pt 1 is from experience. My hubby told me a while ago about having an affection (not an affair) for a lady that I guessed for a long time before he told me. Although I appreciated his sincerity and honesty, it did a lot of damage to our relationship. It has taken me a while to learn to deal with it and believe in him. I can explain what fears I have in my heart when I remember this experience. I know that God has helped us a lot and rebuild our relationship but it not very easy to overcome.
God's best

Embrace the temptation joo.trouble sleep yanga go wake am.atleast there's always need for xtra tire,ask FRSC.

@ujujoan and @all - this is my story and I dont know whether it has any similarity with the one we've been treating. I have this friend of about 16 years plus. One day she confided in me that she was pregnant for someone. She is over 40 and single. Anyway it turned out that the person she has the baby for is a mutual acquaintance that is about 23years. Now the friend of mine is more like a sister to me and my wife knows her and suspects that I have an affair with her. I have done all within my power to dispell and disabuse her mind and indeed thought I was making any head way until I told her that my friend was pregnant and of course she asked for whom and I feigned ignorance. Now the reason I refused to tell her whom my friend was pregnant for was because she knows the young man very well and I know that if I tell her she would say that if the girl of 40years plus could stoop so low to have a child for a boy of 23 that I too would have slept with her. Do you know this incident almost tore my marriage apart. Till date I bluntly refused to tell her who the lady has the child for. I have kept mute because I want to protect my marriage. I used to brag that I know women up to the tip of my finger but that incident open my eyes to the fact that the greatest challenge to a home is the insecurity a woman feels threatenes her home. I am such an impatient guy that till date I dont understand how women can feel so insecure that your husband will look you up in the face and tell you I dont have extra marital affair and you wont believe him. Its not as if there have been incidents in the past that arouses her suspicion. I am told its just " a girl thing". I say this under the almighty God that I have no affair with the lady in question. You can see why I advised the poster not to tell his wife his reasons. You have to view this problem from the woman involved. I know my wife. If I had told her one year ago by now hell would have been my home that is if I will still have one

You are the man here, she shouldn't tell you how to run your house. At the same time, she is not your slave, so call her and talk some senses into her that would make her reason with your decision. Make your home your heaven my guy, All the best.

Nna if u no want housegirl wey set, bring am come my side

aysometin:

I am a woman and I am not too happy with some of the comments from the women.

Here is a man that is telling himself the truth and not decieving himself by saying he can withstand temptation.
He has studied the girl and has seen some traits that can pose as threats in the future.  He never said he was attracted to the girl from the interview but from her actions, he can smell danger.
Living under the same roof with a girl is very very different from seeing ladies outside. If she is out to get the man, she would do everything to make him fall. The men here are talking from experience.

If he accepts the housegirl now, the same ladies here would rain curses on him if he bows to temptations.
I quite appreciate him not telling his wife the real reason because we women tend to replay such words and use it against our men till eternity.

Stand your grounds sir and tell her you don't want the housegirl, if possible look for some flimsy excuse.
Like another poster suggested, get old women  to be your househelps.

The yoruba people say 'the soup we won't eat, we should avoid smelling it'. Prevention is better than cure

My sista, may the Almighty God bless abundantly with this wisdom write-up that you came up with. It's a lil piece of advice but the content in it is damn powerful than every other advice that I'v read on this thread, I love it!

Chaircover, you'r no longer the chaircover I use to know when I first came into NL, really! For sometime now, I no dey fancy your contributions, why? . . .Sometimes I just keep askin myself if someone is postin with your ID, b'cos, those intelligent word of encouragement and contributions I used to read from you are nomore there, what happened, what really went wrong (no offense intended, just wonderin)? . . Stil have my respect for you tho (even if you don't know)!

No matter what everybody is saying, my brother the OP, it still remains that you call the shorts here. if your wife feels the maid is ok and you think from every indication that its future trouble then tak your stand. your money should not buy you trouble in the future please for God sake.

Why employ somebody that is over qualified, sure that other issues will come up. think of it, the so called maid looks so sharp, thank god. ok, you are the man, you resisted all the temptation, then one day you begin to see signs on her and on thorough investigation, one smart boy in your neighbourhood had dont it, what happens? suppose on her attemp to keep it hidden from you and your wife things got complicated, ?

man whatever you saw are clear signs of a trouble future. PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE MY BROTHER!

'/'/

Its a common saying that women like people who deceive them.

Thats why serial Liars have the most girlfriends and truthful people dont. They would want to be told I have $70m when in reality the car i drove to your place is "borrow pose"

This man has said he doesnt want the Housegirl for obvious reasons and ppl are telling him to work on himself even comparing to secretary or Workplace.

This is an 18yr old full girl, Who might even have ambitions of being Madam herself.

What are the chances of Oga seeing her in Towel one day? VERY HIGH.

WHat are the chances of Oga passing by and seeing her cleavage, thighs and others Very HIGH

What are the chances of these things turning the Oga on? VERY HIGH.

What are the chances of Oga wanting to "sample" while Madam is away VERY HIGH.

WHat are the chances of the 18yr old resisting the Oga who pays your bills  VERY LOW

Yet they said he should work on himself, Even the Pope wont go near a semi unclothed woman when the chances of temptations are high.

Do you think the Pope would even allow a Sexy 22yr old blonde to attend to him?

even if oga say im no wan sample, there's a reason for the saying "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned".


not necessarily scorned, but some women can go to serious lengths to destroy a home and a man.

most females do not take kindly to being turned down if/when they offer you their wares.

tpia1:

even if oga say im no wan sample, there's a reason for the saying "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned".

not necessarily scorned, but some women can go to serious lengths to destroy a home and a man.

most females do not take kindly to being turned down if/when they offer you their wares.

You sef see am, We all know the extent which a 19yr old girl who wants to get a man can go.

The girls parent might even assist her with some "Jazz' self plus revealing clothes, plus Madam being away atimes, Plus the influence of Agro.

I dont want to say what might happen

Give the girl belle.Nobody will tell your wife before she chases the girl away.And all ur problems will be solved.

'/'/

Blimey!
Surely, this is not the Chaircover i'm used to

chaircover:

Arent we jumping the gun a little.

Who knows, the girl might have very high moral standards; besides what is the guarantee that the girl even finds the husband attractive & wants to have anything to do with him?

Applying for a post of housegirl doesnt automatically qualify one as an oga's husband snatcher"

Again, this is not about the girl. It is the MAN.

If the Oga is interested, what chance does the Housegirl stand.

Let me put in in clearer terms, if the Oga is interested which he thinks he might, then the chance of it happening is 98%.

But with your colleague at work, It has to be with both consent.

Its easier to "wire" a helpless Housegirl than a Colleague at work