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40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate - Romance - Nairaland

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40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by Adebisi33: 11:01pm On Aug 30, 2011
I really don't know what to do.  I've just turned 40 and I'm desperate to settle down and start a family of my own.

I'm attractive, I have a masters degree, my own house, and a great career but I can't find a nice man.  I don't go to clubs and bars, and only meet white men at work, and I don't find them attractive at all. 

My aunt suggested that I go to Nigeria to find a husband. She says there are a lot of men who would love to get a British Passport (I was born in England).  I don't want to do this, because I don't think that's a good basis for starting a relationship.

A lot of friends have suggested that I'm too fussy, but my father says that a woman should marry a man who is equal or better than her. 

All I am looking for is a man who is single, intelligent, honest and hardworking.  I worry that these kinds of men are already married, or if they are single, they want to settle down with younger women.

In case you're wondering why I didn't get married before, I've been looking for a relationship since I was 22, but no black men that I met who met my criteria (single, intelligent, honest and hardworking) were interested in me.  They all seemed to be taken.

What should I do?

Thanks
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by Dyt(f): 11:05pm On Aug 30, 2011
Wo
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by Goldieluks: 11:06pm On Aug 30, 2011
Adebisi33:

I really don't know what to do.  I've just turned 40 and I'm desperate to settle down and start a family of my own.

I'm attractive, I have a masters degree, my own house, and a great career but I can't find a nice man.  I don't go to clubs and bars, and only meet white men at work, and I don't find them attractive at all. 

My aunt suggested that I go to Nigeria to find a husband. She says there are a lot of men who would love to get a British Passport (I was born in England).  I don't want to do this, because I don't think that's a good basis for starting a relationship.

A lot of friends have suggested that I'm too fussy, but my father says that a woman should marry a man who is equal or better than her. 

All I am looking for is a man who is single, intelligent, honest and hardworking.  I worry that these kinds of men are already married, or if they are single, they want to settle down with younger women.

In case you're wondering why I didn't get married before, I've been looking for a relationship since I was 22, but no black men that I met who met my criteria (single, intelligent, honest and hardworking) were interested in me.  They all seemed to be taken.

What should I do?

Thanks










How long have you been following your father's advise for?20 years,30?
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by claremont(m): 11:07pm On Aug 30, 2011
@OP: Since you don't have a profile picture, we might as well assume that this is just another "MOD-inspired" thread to boost discussion in this forum. If you claim to be "desperate", then you should have put up a picture for evaluation and assessment. Good luck with your search if you are real though!
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by tpia@: 11:10pm On Aug 30, 2011
sounds fishy.

how can someone say they couldnt find a mate in 18 years, when you're surrounded by people.

were you in jail?

2 Likes

Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by 5stardude: 11:11pm On Aug 30, 2011
OP are you another version of Tpia@?
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by tpia@: 11:14pm On Aug 30, 2011
^^that's not necessary, so plz keep your problems to yourself.


why the personal attacks, or maybe you're the op.

not funny, and your sense of humour is very bad.

stick to the topic of the thread.
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by Goldieluks: 11:16pm On Aug 30, 2011
Lmao@ were you in jail.
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by toba: 11:19pm On Aug 30, 2011
Me too im still single at 30 cry
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by Adebisi33: 11:19pm On Aug 30, 2011
Goldieluks:

How long have you been following your father's advise for?20 years,30?

That's a good point.  I have been following my father's advice on many things for so many years, and its led to success in career and investments, so I put a lot of trust in what he says I've had some really awful dates with men who weren't well-educated, and didn't go further with them because I thought that the bad dates proved his point.  

tpia@:

sounds fishy.

how can someone say they couldnt find a mate in 18 years, when you're surrounded by people.

were you in jail?
.

Lol!  I work a lot (which sometimes feels like jail).  I am surrounded by white men at work, but don't find them attractive.  I've had a few relationships, but they didn't work out, and I've always wanted to wait until I was married before having children.
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by Adebisi33: 11:24pm On Aug 30, 2011
toba:

Me too im still single at 30 cry

I hope you don't get flack from your relatives like I do. They act like it's my fault I'm not married. When my mum was single, she was turning down proposals, but no one has ever proposed to me! crycry

When I suggest they introduce me to someone they think would make a suitable match, they clam up.
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by 2buff(m): 11:26pm On Aug 30, 2011
Most of you are replying from naija, and so can't fully understand what the OP is allegedly going thru, if this is indeed a genuine problem.

As OP said, she's surrounded by whitefolk, and might not want to deal with that complication. So she's seeking a nigerian. Not everyone can handle the complications that interracial relationships bring up. I know what it feels like during the time I was only looking for naija girls to date and found no good one around worth the time as you're surrounded predominantly by other races. Got nothing to do with anyone being in jail for 18 years grin

Only time I would wonder is if she was actually in Naija where same-race men full ground and still having this issue.
Also OP, looks aside, do u have children? undecided
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by Goldieluks: 11:27pm On Aug 30, 2011
You waited too long.
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by boobyman: 11:29pm On Aug 30, 2011
why not go to church,attend singles conference,socialise and above all pray to GOD.Dont give up
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by r231: 11:32pm On Aug 30, 2011
Goldieluks:

You waited too long.


more dan too long

40yr old dammmm
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by toba: 11:33pm On Aug 30, 2011
Poster in my own case its kinda weird. my cousin thats older than me with 3 yrs is still single, my elder bro 2yrs old is still single. here since we are guys no one bloody care. again we are enjoying the bachelors life cheesy
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by MrPrsdent(m): 11:34pm On Aug 30, 2011
F A K E thread

smh
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by toba: 11:34pm On Aug 30, 2011
boobyman:

why not go to church,attend singles conference,socialise and above all pray to GOD.Dont give up
good  kiss
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by toba: 11:35pm On Aug 30, 2011
MrPrsdent:

F A K E thread

smh
fake president
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by tpia@: 11:37pm On Aug 30, 2011

My aunt suggested that I go to Nigeria to find a husband.  She says there are a lot of men who would love to get a British Passport (I was born in England).  I don't want to do this, because I don't think that's a good basis for starting a relationship.


you're being too picky.



In case you're wondering why I didn't get married before, I've been looking for a relationship since I was 22, but no black men that I met who met my criteria (single, intelligent, honest and hardworking) were interested in me.  


weird that in 18 years you didnt find a black man who met your criteria. It simply doesnt happen that way.


in any case, to cut a long story short, i'd suggest you either try dating sites or go to nigeria like your aunt said.

also, if anyone is interested in you, who isnt nigerian, you might give them a try?





i also suspect you only feel comfortable around men who are not single, or you dont really want to get married.
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by Adebisi33: 11:38pm On Aug 30, 2011
2buff:

Most of you are replying from naija, and so can't fully understand what the OP is allegedly going thru, if this is indeed a genuine problem.

As OP said, she's surrounded by whitefolk, and might not want to deal with that complication. So she's seeking a nigerian. Not everyone can handle the complications that interracial relationships bring up. I know what it feels like during the time I was only looking for naija girls to date and found no good one around worth the time as you're surrounded predominantly by other races. Got nothing to do with anyone being in jail for 18 years grin

Only time I would wonder is if she was actually in Naija where same-race men full ground and still having this issue.
Also OP, looks aside, do u have children?  undecided

Thank you for GETTING my problem.   At university I was the ONLY black person on my course.  At work, I'm the ONLY black person around.  It's so difficult to meet black men in my day to day life!

I don't have children, because I wanted to wait until I was married before getting pregnant.
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by r231: 11:38pm On Aug 30, 2011
toba:

Poster in my own case its kinda weird. my cousin thats older than me with 3 yrs is still single, my elder bro 2yrs old is still single. here since we are guys no one bloody care. again we are enjoying the bachelors life cheesy

for guys its cool

for woman. . . . nahhhh

who wan marry 40yr old lady except if she is adelebo grin grin

or she fine sha. . . . apart from dat she don pass her sell by date grin grin grin



Adebisi33:

Thank you for GETTING my problem.   At university I was the ONLY black person on my course.  At work, I'm the ONLY black person around.  It's so difficult to meet black men in my day to day life!

I don't have children, because I wanted to wait until I was married before getting pregnant.

so are you saying that you dont go out at all

i can understand the only black on the course. . . . but are u the only BLACK in d whole uni too
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by tpia@: 11:40pm On Aug 30, 2011
MrPrsdent:

F A K E thread

smh

it does seem fake.
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by 5stardude: 11:41pm On Aug 30, 2011
tpia@:

^^that's not necessary, so plz keep your problems to yourself.


why the personal attacks, or maybe you're the op.

not funny, and your sense of humour is very bad.

stick to the topic of the thread.

No humor meant, Why are you hurting?
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by Goldieluks: 11:41pm On Aug 30, 2011
My gut tells me this thread is fake.
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by Nobody: 11:42pm On Aug 30, 2011
Anyone that BELIEVES this STORY should HIT ME UP! I HAVE AN ISLAND TO SELL TO YOU!. . . . . . . . GIBBERISH! undecided
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by claremont(m): 11:42pm On Aug 30, 2011
MrPrsdent:

F A K E thread

smh
Seconded! Seems c-ock n bull to me as well!
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by toba: 11:43pm On Aug 30, 2011
yea for guys its cook. i once dated someone thats 10 older in 2009, but i quit last year.
r231:

for guys its cool

for woman. . . . nahhhh

who wan marry 40yr old lady except if she is adelebo grin grin

or she fine sha. . . . apart from dat she don pass her sell by date grin grin grin



so are you saying that you dont go out at all

i can understand the only black on the course. . . . but are u the only BLACK in d whole uni too
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by toba: 11:44pm On Aug 30, 2011
Haters stop derailing this thread, its a true life story
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by tpia@: 11:45pm On Aug 30, 2011
5stardude:

No humor meant, Why are you hurting?

the thread isnt about you and your problems, so just shut your trap if you have nothing to contribute.

thanks.
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by Nobody: 11:47pm On Aug 30, 2011
Toba, are you this GULLIBLE? shocked SMDH! undecided
Re: 40 Year Old Single Woman: Getting Desperate by Lax75(m): 11:48pm On Aug 30, 2011
@ OP, just show up at Murtala International Airport and Flash your British passport and yell out "I'm single" na. You go find many applicants.

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