Though, I've never been outside nigeria and have no personal information about how relationships are run in the western world. I believe romantic relationships are generally more refined and stress free (for the man) outside nigeria and Africa as a whole.

I don't want to be misunderstood, this is not me trying to hold nigerian relationships to foreign standards as this will be unfair due to cultural differences.

However, certain factors should remain globally constant as far as human relationships are concerned.

We are given to understand that in the usa and other advanced climes, both partners in a relationship are at liberty and usually willing to share financial responsibilities and provision generally is not a fixed responsibilities of the man.

Women abroad are generally open to split financial responsibilities with their men according to their capability and unlike their nigerian counterparts, they are not programmed to expect a man to foot all the bills.

Against this background, I'm of the opinion that it is inappropriate for a woman to make demands for personal items in a relationship.

It is very common and almost a norm in Nigeria for a woman to ask a man to buy her a phone or pay for her hair or even pay her rent.

Don't get me wrong, if you have an emergency as a woman, you can ask your boyfriend for help once in a while. But not to make the boyfriend your source of livelihood and maintenance.

Also, it is expected and perfectly normal for a man to buy his girlfriend a phone (maybe on her birthday), or pay for her hair. But I believe such expenses should be at his own discretion not upon demand by the girlfriend.

It is no classy for a girlfriend to make financial demands when it's not an emergency or a crisis.

But also, a classy boyfriend is expected to gift his girlfriend nice items once in a while to spice the relationship and to bond more.

If a boyfriend doesn't send you gifts occasionally, it is likely he is not comfortable financially or he is stingy. In this cases, the lady is required to engage him in order to discover the reason and decide whether she can cope.

Again, a woman is not mean to make financial demands for her personal needs. It's fine if the demand is for household maintenance when you two get married.

Moreso, it is expected that adults should be able to take care of their own personal needs.

Any person, man or woman, who cannot buy their own personal stuff or whose taste or lifestyle is beyond what they can afford by themselves, run from them. They are problematic people and can never be loyal to you.

In addition, any woman who make habitual financial demands when there's no emergency is either a runs girl or has a serious relationship elsewhere.

I am not oblivious of the fact that there are less privileged women out here who actually need to marry men who are capable of giving them a better life. This is an exceptional situation and I personally see nothing wrong in it as life is dynamic and is about people helping people.

What is unacceptable here is the narrative that women are okay to be entitled to men's money even when the woman has her own money.

It is key to note that unlike some decades ago, especially after the several industrial revolutions the world has witnessed, money making is no longer about muscle or masculinity but about brainpower.

There is no scientific evidence that a random man is smarter than a random woman which means money Making is not particularly easier for the man in today's world.

This is just a call to our ladies to up their game and do better so that we can see better and more successful and less problematic relationships and marriages in the coming generations.

Do you agree with these views?

Is there any work in Nigeria for everyone?

Most Nigerian women can never stop being parasites....forget it.... Most of them are broke and always dream of making it life through men....if most women were given a wish that will come true... they would rather wish for a man that is rich, instead of wishing for their own truck load of money....

men are the ones that need to up their standard to stop dating broke, stingy, jobless women.

Cassandraloius:
Is there any work in Nigeria for everyone?

No society in the world has work for everyone.

But I will admit that Nigeria is a particularly tougher environment for a common person to plug in to a job.

The more reason women who depend on their husbands should let their men breathe. Women in this category should learn to at least live within their husbands' means if they can't support the men.

Not to be comparing their husbands to other richer men.

If e easy, those wives too should go out and hustle for the money (without monitizing their bodies).

advanceDNA:

Most Nigerian women can never stop being parasites....forget it.... Most of them are broke and always dream of making it life through men....if most women were given a wish that will come true... they would rather wish for a man that is rich, instead of wishing for their own truck load of money....

men are the ones that need to up their standard to stop dating broke, stingy, jobless women.

Lol, this is hilarious but true.

The difficulty in men upping their standard as you advised is that, the percentage of women who are in the working class is very minimal compared to the demand for women by men.

If I may take a guess, the ration of working class women to men is like 1/80.

That's the reason nigerian men are forced to settle with leechy women so far the woman can at least look attractive.

And that is the reason many of them get abused by their rich husbands in marriage.

The recent trend now is young girls preferring to become a 2nd or 3rd wife to a rich guy instead of starting and growing with a promising young man.

Omo,you just dey write story OP.you must spend for Nigeria woman .if not..relationship go get k leg.Nigerian ladies enter relationship with the mind of profit . .i agree with your views o.but kolewerk in Naija

realG101:


Lol, this is hilarious but true.

The difficulty in men upping their standard as you advised is that, the percentage of women who are in the working class is very minimal compared to the demand for women by men.

If I may take a guess, the ration of working class women to men is like 1/80.

That's the reason nigerian men are forced to settle with leechy women so far the woman can at least look attractive.

And that is the reason many of them get abused by their rich husbands in marriage.

The recent trend now is young girls preferring to become a 2nd or 3rd wife to a rich guy instead of starting and growing with a promising young man.

Availability of decent working ladies is not the reason....the problem is Nigerian men just like to settle for only pvssy and women that are far beneath them......and that's why men marry all manner of worthless women not even fit to be married...

So the summary of your lamentation is that women should reduce their standards. And why should they? Have you reduced your own standards?

You want your 100 yards wife material but want women to size down their own to 50yards husband material

To be honest many of you on this space are just hypocrites.

You are sternly against women emulating their western counterparts but you want them to give you a pass to copy from western males that share responsibilities. Not happening dude.

If they must remain African women, you too must remain an African man. You cannot eat your cake and have it.

Being an African man is not a walk in the park. It comes with responsibilities. Likewise being an African woman.

And this claims that women are bombarding their partners with financial needs are just lies. I've worked with lots of women and I can tell you that many are very reasonable. Only very few women are out of character

Leave the internet, go outside and date women. Stop forming opinions from guys who can't look a woman in the eye. They have escaped from reality and now live on the internet, wasting away their lives, and justifying being irresponsible.


No woman is placing outrageous demands on you. It's biology at work in you. Stop fighting your instincts. They are just reminding you of what you are, the Man.

Let women breathe

Slaveman343:
So the summary of your lamentation is that women should reduce their standards. And why should they? Have you reduced your own standards?

You want your 100 yards wife material but want women to size down their own to 50yards husband material

To be honest many of you on this space are just hypocrites.

You are sternly against women emulating their western counterparts but you want them to give you a pass to copy from western males that share responsibilities. Not happening dude.

If they must remain African women, you too must remain an African man. You cannot eat your cake and have it.

Being an African man is not a walk in the park. It comes with responsibilities. Likewise being an African woman.

And this claims that women are bombarding their partners with financial needs are just lies. I've worked with lots of women and I can tell you that many are very reasonable. Only very few women are out of character

Leave the internet, go outside and date women. Stop forming opinions from guys who can't look a woman in the eye. They have escaped from reality and now live on the internet, wasting away their lives, and justifying being irresponsible.


No woman is placing outrageous demands on you. It's biology at work in you. Stop fighting your instincts. They are just reminding you of what you are, the Man.

Let women breathe

2000 kisses and 5000 blessings to you or something that Klass always say.

realG101:
There is no scientific evidence that a random man is smarter than a random woman which means money Making is not particularly easier for the man in today's world.

So, EQUALITY?!

Haha, I loveeee this!


Like this what we've been saying for ages o. This is what we've been saying for ages. People aren't smarter or more intelligent than another on the basis of their sex.

Thank you!

And let's take it a notch further then to agree that the concept of headship in marriage is bollocks since a man is no more better at being sensible or using common sense, etc., than a woman is.

Magnoliaa:




And let's take it a notch further then to agree that the concept of headship in marriage is bollocks since a man is no more better at being sensible or using common sense, etc., than a woman is.

The concept of automatic head in marriage in marriage is biblically driven....if u are religious and want to follow it....it's left to you....... It's works for some ..it doesn't in homes where one partner takes advantage of the other person....

Weda there is an appointed head by bible or not.....leadership in marriage naturally and seamlessly sorts itself out over time... Sometimes it's the partner that makes most money that calls the shot....sometimes, it's the person that knows how to keep things together... And sometimes, sadly it's the bully.

Aaaaarghmed:
Omo,you just dey write story OP.you must spend for Nigeria woman .if not..relationship go get k leg.Nigerian ladies enter relationship with the mind of profit . .i agree with your views o.but kolewerk in Naija

Lol, tor so let's all agree love is not a factor in nigerian relationships then. Na money by davido comes to mind

advanceDNA:


Availability of decent working ladies is not the reason....the problem is Nigerian men just like to settle for only pvssy and women that her far beneath them......and that's why men marry all manner of worthless women not even fit to be married...

I see your point here bro. It's a fact that some men because of their low self esteem avoid successful women with strong personalities

Slaveman343:
So the summary of your lamentation is that women should reduce their standards. And why should they? Have you reduced your own standards?

You want your 100 yards wife material but want women to size down their own to 50yards husband material

To be honest many of you on this space are just hypocrites.

You are sternly against women emulating their western counterparts but you want them to give you a pass to copy from western males that share responsibilities. Not happening dude.

If they must remain African women, you too must remain an African man. You cannot eat your cake and have it.

Being an African man is not a walk in the park. It comes with responsibilities. Likewise being an African woman.

And this claims that women are bombarding their partners with financial needs are just lies. I've worked with lots of women and I can tell you that many are very reasonable. Only very few women are out of character

Leave the internet, go outside and date women. Stop forming opinions from guys who can't look a woman in the eye. They have escaped from reality and now live on the internet, wasting away their lives, and justifying being irresponsible.


No woman is placing outrageous demands on you. It's biology at work in you. Stop fighting your instincts. They are just reminding you of what you are, the Man.

Let women breathe

I'm sure the category of women you have worked with are in the minority.

It is the regular nigerian woman that is under reference here not the few of them doing exploits in their fields.

Your reference to biology is out of context as society has changed since the primitive times.

And speaking of the African man's responsibilities. Be reminded that societies progress by learning and assimilating from other more advanced cultures.


A tribe in Africa was know to kill twins before the whites told them better. And that tribe has eradicated the practice since then if not we will not be enjoying psquare today.

And if you thing majority of nigeria women don't bother their men will bills, you are living under a rock.
Even south africans woman know that nigerian men are overly generous. And that generosity is a result of the entitlement mentality from nigerian women.

Slaveman343:
So the summary of your lamentation is that women should reduce their standards. And why should they? Have you reduced your own standards?

You want your 100 yards wife material but want women to size down their own to 50yards husband material

To be honest many of you on this space are just hypocrites.

You are sternly against women emulating their western counterparts but you want them to give you a pass to copy from western males that share responsibilities. Not happening dude.

If they must remain African women, you too must remain an African man. You cannot eat your cake and have it.

Being an African man is not a walk in the park. It comes with responsibilities. Likewise being an African woman.

And this claims that women are bombarding their partners with financial needs are just lies. I've worked with lots of women and I can tell you that many are very reasonable. Only very few women are out of character

Leave the internet, go outside and date women. Stop forming opinions from guys who can't look a woman in the eye. They have escaped from reality and now live on the internet, wasting away their lives, and justifying being irresponsible.


No woman is placing outrageous demands on you. It's biology at work in you. Stop fighting your instincts. They are just reminding you of what you are, the Man.

Let women breathe

Simp mudafucker!!!

Magnoliaa:


So, EQUALITY?!

Haha, I loveeee this!


Like this what we've been saying for ages o. This is what we've been saying for ages. People aren't smarter or more intelligent than another on the basis of their sex.

Thank you!

And let's take it a notch further then to agree that the concept of headship in marriage is bollocks since a man is no more better at being sensible or using common sense, etc., than a woman is.

This is a non issue for me always. Why will anyone ever propose that every man is smarter than every woman.

Regardless of media insinuations on the subject of gender equality, nature has its way of doing justice in a man/woman relationship.

There are marriages where the woman happens to be more dominant and takes on leadership roles. Some women also happen to earn more than their husbands so do you now say such family should remain in a rented apartment when the wife can help the family buy a house.

Equality or role is based on the individual, a blanket declaration will be fraudulent.

realG101:


Lol, tor so let's all agree love is not a factor in nigerian relationships then. Na money by davido comes to mind

yes,it is what it is.

luminouz:

Simp mudafucker!!!

Alphakiriri. Happy bitter and lonely old age

realG101:



I'm sure the category of women you have worked with are in the minority.

Majority of women out there are engaged in something, be it business or as employees. Nigerian women are working their asses off. You will hardly see them idling away. Stop painting a false picture online.

It is the regular nigerian woman that is under reference here not the few of them doing exploits in their fields.

Again, many Nigerian women are working. You see them everywhere. Whether they are doing exploits is upto them, but they are not lazying or begging around.

Your reference to biology is out of context as society has changed since the primitive times.

Then why are you not open to women being different from our mothers. Why do people like you complain of everything women do or are becoming, IF SOCIETY HAS CHANGED. Are you only open to the change that benefits you!

And speaking of the African man's responsibilities. Be reminded that societies progress by learning and assimilating from other more advanced cultures.

So why do so many men here berate women who are embracing modern western lifestyles.
Is change only good for us but not for women? If women must adapt to our change, why are many men on nairaland refusing to adapt to the current women.

A tribe in Africa was know to kill twins before the whites told them better. And that tribe has eradicated the practice since then if not we will not be enjoying psquare today.

What's your point again?

And if you thing majority of nigeria women don't bother their men will bills, you are living under a rock.

I'm living in reality. You are the one living away from the real world. No Nigerian woman bothers her man with bills. If you don't know your relevance in a relationship, she can remind you from time to time. And that's not bothering you! I'm sure you will dump her if she is not benefiting you any more in kind. It's a symbiotic thing. If you can't cope, stay out.

Even south africans woman know that nigerian men are overly generous. And that generosity is a result of the entitlement mentality from nigerian women.

Your thought process is twisted. The common denominator is Nigerian men. How is it Nigerian women's fault that South African women love you because you are throwing your money at them. It's simply your own doing! Stop blaming anyone!

You guys only complain because you don't have the resources to get the kind of girls you want. Work towards it and stop crying everywhere

^^ This used to be me, but real life came calling.

Slaveman343:
Majority of women out there are engaged in something, be it business or as employees. Nigerian women are working their asses off. You will hardly see them idling away. Stop painting a false picture online.

Thank you.

People that accuse women of hiding prostitution behind petty trading. They know these things. It is when they need to insult women in another narrative that they'll remember.

I have numerous vendors on my contact list. Students o, not to talk of actual full-time employed women. The ones that are not entrepreneurs are content writers. The one that have physical endowment are modelling for cloth and make-up lines.

Same people who've reduced every single job women do to prostitution.

You're a corporate 9-5 babe, you're sleeping with your bosses.
You're a content creator on social media, you have clients that you're servicing sexually.
You're idle, they'll still call you a leech. The only thing that will actually satisfy men like these is for women to stop existing.

People that if they actually meet the kind of woman who is not a leech, they'll start feeling useless and emasculated. Everyday they shame educated, career and independent women for being this and that. When they are done, they'll turn to women in the same social class as they are to continue.

Again, many Nigerian women are working. You see them everywhere. Whether they are doing exploits is upto them, but they are not lazying or begging around.

Co-signed again.

Then why are you not open to women being different from our mothers. Why do people like you complain of everything women do or are becoming, IF SOCIETY HAS CHANGED. Are you only open to the change that benefits you!

Please, ask again, lmaoooo.

I'm living in reality. You are the one living away from the real world. No Nigerian woman bothers her man with bills. If you don't know your relevance in a relationship, she can remind you from time to time. And that's not bothering you! I'm sure you will dump her if she is not benefiting you any more in kind. It's a symbiotic thing. If you can't cope, stay out.

And you can say that again.

Your thought process is twisted. The common denominator is Nigerian men. How is it Nigerian women's fault that South African women love you because you are throwing your money at them. It's simply your own doing! Stop blaming anyone!

Like could I agree more?!

You guys only complain because you don't have the resources to get the kind of girls you want. Work towards it and stop crying everywhere

Look, you have finished talk. They are only lashing out of their own inadequacies.

You stay and build with them, and at the end of the day, they say you're not entitled to any wealth they've built.

You don't stay and build with them, they call you a gold-digger.

The same gold-diggers that they promise to go after the very moment they become rich. Like, exactly. Symbiotic is the word. "The society does not have the right to tell a rich man who to go for if they've told him that he's not deserving of a woman as a poor man," or so they believe.

But let us even assume that is true, does it not logically hold then that there will be materialistic baddies to make their desire come true?

Like if you want to be a playboy, there has to be other women who are into that lifestyle, but no. They will condemn the very same kind of women they want. All the while still saying stuff like "I am an ass man. I am a breast man. Men are moved by what they see."

A neurologist really need to undertake a research into the neural workings of the brains* of 9ja men.

Magnoliaa:


Thank you.

People that accuse women of hiding prostitution behind petty trading. They know these things. It is when they need to insult women in another narrative that they'll remember.

Yes that's what they do. They just want to malign women whichever way. How do we have a progressive society with this kind of mentality from the male group!

I have numerous vendors on my contact list. Students o, not to talk of actual full-time employed women. The ones that are not entrepreneurs are content writers. The one that have physical endowment are modelling for cloth and make-up lines.

Exactly. My gf is a model and earning good money from it. She even sponsored herself through school with it before we met. And I can tell you that she is a very decent girl. If these lame guys see her, they won't waste time in calling her a prostitute, which is far from the truth. But do I blame them

Same people who've reduced every single job women do to prostitution.

Instead of learning, they prefer to condemn and tie every woman's success to the male gender. I've a lot going on for me to be that Insecure

You're a corporate 9-5 babe, you're sleeping with your bosses.
You're a content creator on social media, you have clients that you're servicing sexually.
You're idle, they'll still call you a leech. The only thing that will actually satisfy men like these is for women to stop existing.

It's sexism. It's like racism. People in a group feel they are more important than others in another group. Instead of unlearning this ugly behavior they glory in it.

People that if they actually meet the kind of woman who is not a leech, they'll start feeling useless and emasculated. Everyday they shame educated, career and independent women for being this and that. When they are done, they'll turn to women in the same social class as they are to continue.

Women can't win on nairaland. That's why I thank God for the kind of family I'm from. We respect everybody because everyone is significant. No crab mentality. I'm always speaking up for women here because someone needs to. Sexism is ugly. I'd rather be a valuable male to my society than trying to be on the good side of a weak male.

Weak men are always congregating against women. That's how I see them. They are weak. Our society needs a lot of help, where are the men? On the internet calling women names. We have to be men and salvage our society.

Look, you have finished talk. They are only lashing out of their own inadequacies.

This

You stay and build with them, and at the end of the day, they say you're not entitled to any wealth they've built.

Only a foolish woman would stay and build with a man. He should build himself first before other things. I feel more masculine being this way. Stability before relationship always

You don't stay and build with them, they call you a gold-digger.

I have two sisters. I'll rather they are gold diggers than build with any man.

The same gold-diggers that they promise to go after the very moment they become rich. Like, exactly. Symbiotic is the word. "The society does not have the right to tell a rich man who to go for if they've told him that he's not deserving of a woman as a poor man," or so they believe.

Men love women who appreciate their resources. I like to spend on women who like to be spent on. It's that simple. They complain when they don't have the resources or are confused by some woke nonsense on the internet. But biology never lies

But let us even assume that is true, does it not logically hold then that there will be materialistic baddies to make their desire come true?

Like if you want to be a playboy, there has to be other women who are into that lifestyle, but no. They will condemn the very same kind of women they want. All the while still saying stuff like "I am an ass man. I am a breast man. Men are moved by what they see."

They are just confused and contradictory. What happens when you start fighting nature

A neurologist really need to undertake a research into the neural workings of the brains* of 9ja men.

The findings would be interesting but not far from what some of us can see. May God help the Alphakiriris

Slaveman343:
So the summary of your lamentation is that women should reduce their standards. And why should they? Have you reduced your own standards?

You want your 100 yards wife material but want women to size down their own to 50yards husband material

To be honest many of you on this space are just hypocrites.

You are sternly against women emulating their western counterparts but you want them to give you a pass to copy from western males that share responsibilities. Not happening dude.

If they must remain African women, you too must remain an African man. You cannot eat your cake and have it.

Being an African man is not a walk in the park. It comes with responsibilities. Likewise being an African woman.

And this claims that women are bombarding their partners with financial needs are just lies. I've worked with lots of women and I can tell you that many are very reasonable. Only very few women are out of character

Leave the internet, go outside and date women. Stop forming opinions from guys who can't look a woman in the eye. They have escaped from reality and now live on the internet, wasting away their lives, and justifying being irresponsible.


No woman is placing outrageous demands on you. It's biology at work in you. Stop fighting your instincts. They are just reminding you of what you are, the Man.

Let women breathe

Sound like one of them.

Most of them are demanding for gifts, treats and lifestyle their biological parents cannot afford to give them.. it’s pure greed.

BigIyanga:

Sound like one of them.

Most of them are demanding for gifts, treats and lifestyle their biological parents cannot afford to give them.. it’s pure greed.

Many women are not asking for these things. You are just attracted to the few doing this. Since they are your spec, give them what they want so they can give you what you want, which your biological parents cannot give you.

Slaveman343:
Many women are not asking for these things. You are just attracted to the few doing this. Since they are your spec, give them what they want so they can give you what you want, which your biological parents cannot give you.

You’re mistaken…most Naija women want guys to provide a better life for them… which their biological parents cant provide.

A typical Naija girl with street BF wants her man to buy 50k-100k phone based on her class . A lagos mainland girl wants her bf to buy N100k-200k phone based on her class. A VI girl wants 300k-500k from her bf based on class…To them, relationship is a poverty alleviation

BigIyanga:

You’re mistaken…most Naija women want guys to provide a better life for them… which their biological parents cant provide.

And what's wrong with this? They want a better life, who doesn't? You don't want a better life from what your parents gave you? You don't want pretty/prettier kids?

A typical Naija girl with street BF wants her man to buy 50k-100k phone based on her class . A lagos mainland girl wants her bf to buy N100k-200k phone based on her class. A VI girl wants 300k-500k from her bf based on class…To them, relationship is a poverty alleviation

Rubbish talk

Slaveman343:
And what's wrong with this? They want a better life, who doesn't? You don't want a better life from what your parents gave you? You don't want pretty/prettier kids?
Rubbish talk

You want a better life provided and paid for by your bf?? Lol. You’re mad that your bf cant provide…. but OK that your parents are broke and cant provide those good things ?? Lol

Slaveman343:
Alphakiriri. Happy bitter and lonely old age

I checked your profile. Simping will get you no pussy. It's a life of loneliness and bitterness.

Happy simp day, mudafucker!!!

I checked your profile. Simping will get you no pussy. It's a life of loneliness and bitterness.

Happy simp day, mudafucker!!!

Won tun gbe tun tun de.

A life without pussy = a life of loneliness and bitterness for men? So men's happiness and fulfilment in life is intricately tied to access to sex?


This is what happens when you swallow agenda buzzwords without no thought and mental filtering of your own. You end up regurgitating rubbish.

Lack of money will not lead to a life of bitterness for men. Poverty will not. Unfulfilment will not, broken relationships will not, childhood trauma will not, a lack of support system and community from family and friends will not. Work pressure will not. Mental illness will not. Social anxiety and low self-esteem will not. It is pussy, of all things, that will lead to a life of loneliness for men.

Can we also go further to hypothesize that the bitter men we see all over NL are the way they are because they're not getting any pussy? It's not as a result of heartbreak or women not being good people. Nope, they're incels because they're simply unattractive to women.

And you say you're the superior gender, when you've unwittingly attributed this much power to the pussy. So much so that a man's life can breakdown and get derailed from not matching sexually with women.

luminouz:

I checked your profile. Simping will get you no pussy. It's a life of loneliness and bitterness.

Happy simp day, mudafucker!!!

I'm getting good ones and laughing at online miscreants like you. Your girl(If you can get any) will leave you for me in a heart beat. There are levels to these things, loser!!

BigIyanga:


You want a better life provided and paid for by your bf?? Lol. You’re mad that your bf cant provide…. but OK that your parents are broke and cant provide those good things ?? Lol

opo-Nu. The only thing is that I'm the providing boyfriend and potential husband who gets girls you can never get even if you come to this world a million times.

I'm happy, you are a sad troll. Big difference