neyostica:

@op pls tell her to keep the baby and give her life to christ so she can have peace

stop using bros J's name in vain abeg. When they were having fun, they forgot to give their lives to him. Now wen yawa don go south, na den u wan sugest am?

I appreciate u guys 4 your response but plz get it right. dis'nt abut me. & my post made dat clear.

i rephrase the "you" to  "your friend"

Im truly sorry for the lapse 

Hmmmmm.
Dis's a dilemma @ replies.
dnt kno which advice to go wit, evry one seems to be right.

Cuddlemii:

I see the bolded was the only point that manifested to you right? Whether he denied it or not, the fact still remains that he is telling her to have an abortion which is even worse than denial.

how can having an abortion be worse than denying that he gave her belle?! these people are immature and were playing with fire having unprotected se.x when one of them was NOT ready for the consequences of these actions.
there are MANY WAYS to solve the issue at hands, abortion is just ONE of them.

Like I earlier stated what if the lady looses her womb, dies or develops a complication in the process, what happens? Or you think life is a fairytale where you get away with all manner of things.

what if the lady dies during childbirth ? what if the child dies during childbirth? what if they have no money to care for the kid etc etc etc. we can paint many silly pictures with IFs/BUTs and MAYBEs. . . . . . . and still get nowhere.

the best thing to do is for them to sit down and SERIOUSLY think about what they are going to do next because having  a child is a 18yr financial/emotional/physical commitment (at least).

Secondly, if it were to be your loved one or sister or family member, would you have allowed her fiance or bf ask her to go for an abortion?

if it was my sister or anyone else for that matter, i wiould ask her to seriously think about her actions because there is a potential life at stake here. no need to bring a human being into this (already) congested world if you are not ready to care for it PROPERLY!

Even if you accept and she dies, how do you want to live with the guilt.

as i said previously, whatever she does can kill her so either options has its negative side. . . . . . .why do you want to make it look as if she doesnt have an option?!

Its even better they give birth to the baby and give the motherless baby homes or welfare to take in the baby for some years till they can find their bearing, they visit the baby regularly and take the baby once they can stand on their feet.

yes that is a great idea, the only problem is finding someone PROPER to care for the child for them while they ¨get their barring. adoption home are already filled up to the brim and no one should dream of making it worse. let´s be real here, not many fertile people in Africa are adopting these kids, thanks to the bush mentality that stop a man from raising another man´s kid.

Dude, we are all finding a solution for the couple! Chill

and abortion IS one of these solutions too and is certainly NOT irresponsible to have one.

@ mr brownjay u make it sound like an abortion is just getthng rid of a worm but it isnt. From day 1 of conception a human has been formed u were once like that i was once like that
the only difference btw one who aborts and 1 who kills an adult or a child is the age of the victims cos the unborn baby d child and the adult are all humans
Except of course therapeutic abortion which u can liken to killing in self defence
On ur concerns on being able to take care of a child that is what abstinence is for and if u cant abstain then use an effing condom that way u avoid both making a baby to eventually kill and also HIV bearing in mind that subsaharan africa has the highest concentration of HIV victims.
And yes women and babies die during childbirth but thats not an excuse not to give birth , People have died from choking on food mr has it stopped u from eating? 'abortion' is just euphemism for 'killing the unborn child'
Imagine getting pregnant for a husband to be and he asks u 2 abort it, he clearly dosnt love her. This is a lesson 2 d ladies u have more reasons to zip up.

@ mr brownjay u make it sound like an abortion is just getthng rid of a worm but it isnt. From day 1 of conception a human has been formed u were once like that i was once like that
the only difference btw one who aborts and 1 who kills an adult or a child is the age of the victims cos the unborn baby d child and the adult are all humans
Except of course therapeutic abortion which u can liken to killing in self defence
On ur concerns on being able to take care of a child that is what abstinence is for and if u cant abstain then use an effing condom that way u avoid both making a baby to eventually kill and also HIV bearing in mind that subsaharan africa has the highest concentration of HIV victims.
And yes women and babies die during childbirth but thats not an excuse not to give birth , People have died from choking on food mr has it stopped u from eating? 'abortion' is just euphemism for 'killing the unborn child'
Imagine getting pregnant for a husband to be and he asks u 2 abort it, he clearly dosnt love her. This is a lesson 2 d ladies u have more reasons to zip up.

^^^^an abortion is a fairly safe procedure to solve issues that may arise when two fools have unprotected se.x. . . . . . if it was murder as you claim then billions would be in jail right now. get real pls.

there is no need to talk about ¨what they SHOULD have done¨ now and instead they should talk about how to SOLVE the problem at hand wisely. just because they are stoopid enough to have unprotected se.x,doesnt mean we should FORCE them into having a child they probably aint ready to care for.

the fact that many people out there want to PUNISH this couple by saying:¨YOU MUST HAVE THAT BABY!!!¨ is amazing. they planned for a wedding, i dont think they did plan for a baby so they should sit down and EVALUATE the situation fully and wisely.

so your point is: many die during abortions in Africa so they MUST have that baby, while many also die during childbirth but it doesnt matter?! lol what kind of bias statement is that?! btw food is a NECESSITY of life, having a child isnt so pls dont bring some statement about choking on food that has nothing to do with the subject at hand.

women thinking like you do is the reason why so many marriages FAIL. this man makes a decision that he THINKS is best for them both and you are here saying that if he does that means he doesnt love her. what does LOVE has to do with CARING for a child, FEEDING a child, CLOTHING a child and SENDING a child to school for the best part of his life?! love has NOTHING to do with the issue at hand, and people should use their BRAINS to evaluate the situation not simply say: i love you so let´s have this baby¨ even though we may not be fit to care for it.

I cant remember saying any thing about people in Africa dying from murdering the unborn which is d correct name 4 abortion.
People are not in jail for murdering the unborn because lawmakers who think like u have not called it what it is. Its is MURDER ASSASINATION TERMINATION OF LIFE
Ur excuse 4 justifying murdering d unborn is Lack of money to carter and feed? What next : advice parents to kill their kids when they get broke and cant cater 4 them cos its exactly the same thing.
Oh yeah food is a necessity giving birth isnt den anounce that to the world so procreation will stop and human race will go extinct.
A man who asks u to abort a child clearly dosnt love u except if it is therapeutic abortion

first: educate yourself, ABORTION IS ILLEGAL IN NIGERIA (unless it is an extreme case) and yet NOBODY goes to jail.

second: YES money is the main factor here because you NEED MONEY to feed a child, you NEED MONEY to keep it warm at night in a safe home, you NEED MONEY to educate that child until it is 18yrs old at least. anyone who has a child when they CLEARLY KNOW BEFOREHAND that they aint financially/emotionally/physically ready to care for it, is IRRESPONSIBLE!!!!

third: i repeat, giving birth is NOT a necessity for all! many people out there dont have children and live happily ever after. also, timing has to be RIGHT to have a kid, if you have no job, no home or no money then i am safe to say that this person is NOT ready to have a kid (at least not in the world i live in). the fact that you want to make us believe that EVERYONE must have children is wrong. some people out there are not QUALIFIED to have kids, some people are not MATURE ENOUGH to have kids, some people are not RESPONSIBLE enough to have kids.
look around you and see all these unwanted kids that are lining the streets thanks to their IRRESPONSIBLE parents.

fourth: stop talking about love and abortion in the same sentence, these are two different issues. if a man uses his brain to understand that they cant care for a child, that IS love and you clearly dont have a clue about the meaning of the word. if a man cannot be fully honest to his future wife about how he feels about a issue that arises then, DEFINITELY, they should NOT get married. in my world, HONESTY and UNDERSTANDING are some of the foundation of any lasting r/ship.

No one goes 2 jail cos people have used euphemism for this sorta murder. Once fertilzation occurs a life has begun a killing that life is as good a killing a child or a man d only difference is the age of d victims.
D poster never said the mans reason for not wanting the child is financial who knows he might have been planing to break up with her and a child would complicate things
and even if money is involved murder is not the solution to the problem if he really loves her they shld do a low class wedding and plan not to have anyother kids 4 the next five or ten years or 4eva that way they channel all their resources to one child
YES I will use murder of the unborn and love in the same sentence because if u love a woman u wont ask her to commit murder just cos u cant use an effing condom
having kids aint compulsory 4 all hence thier is abstinence and cds not concieve and murder

oh lawd , here we go again, pls go to that thread (https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-775835.0.html) and see the replies there as i am in no mood to educate you too on conception.

if i truely love u, u na fit delete MY BABY!