One year Anniversary to Campus Blues

hmm, fels gud to be back, but no run o

Miss lola. Where are you now. Is this story over or you still got more to add to it.. Dont keep us waiting

^@pst
Hmmn. It's far from over o. Let me finish my exams and go down to the village first.
Sunday night is a date by God's grace!

@all
gracias!

SUNDAY!!! Lola dnt make me cry again plsss

lola.luv:
^@pst
Hmmn. It's far from over o. Let me finish my exams and go down to the village first.
Sunday night is a date by God's grace!

@all
gracias!

okay no probs. Will be xpecting. Wish u success in ur exams. Take care.

Ms lola.luv, you have got to make a living out of this! I see a legend in the making!
Just persevere and get as much knowledge as you can. You're going places geskiya! Lotta luv.
*I am feelin u die*

^
Yes Boss!

@all
Thanks for all the wishes.
Let's make it a date, 8.00 tomorrow night by God's grace!

sauer: ^^Okay. Must point out it's rather unreal. Would a girl immediately request help (on her "menstrual mishap" from a guy she doesn't know too well,and who might as well develop all the negative opinions about her situation. My guess is, in a realer world, since the guy never noticed, she would grow mute and only quickly discharge him so she could attend to her "situation"  
Story coulda been better, if guy(TJ) had noticed it first. And what's with the acronym "TJ". . .I'd say it renders your little story a tad too conventional  

Depends on the girl. Tega's behavior at this point is consistent with the developing character.

Well, I think "your story stole my sleep" was cliched by this thread, but the fact that I'm posting after 2am should help show how captivating I found the story.

Lola.luv, this is a good story. It's stayed pretty consistent and interesting, but, like most romances, it's pretty naked and almost without context. Romance is a part of life; matters of the heart are just a subset of issues of life and they are heavily affected by them. So, I think a romance is better when it keeps the heart issues related to life issues. Or else, it tends toward the unrealistic (but somehow, you've managed to keep this story close to reality).

As an example, I could almost say that I know who Tega is, but, in truth, I don't. I don't know if she's tripped by TJ's money or not. You probably also need to relate parts of your story: TJ's engineering to his romantic habits and his choice of Tega, Tega's art to her romantic habits and her gravitation to TJ, Tega's family background to her character, TJ's to his, etc.

In a well-developed story, main characters do not dwarf other characters and virtually smother them, they are developed through them. We are partially blinded to the real nature of the characters of Tega and TJ until we know to a reasonable extent who their social and familial ambience is. So you may need to develop the other characters some more. This applies to locations to. Where can people like TJ and Tega be found normally and why? What and where is out of character for them? You're telling a human story, make it consistent with the human condition and reality.

I realize, and imagine that you do too, that my critique demands a rewrite, but it should only be at your leisure and definitely not here. What you have here is appropriate for Nairaland's frivolous atmosphere. But, offline, you'll need to get serious and rework the entire story.

Worthy effort though. Thumbs up I

Lola, shebi you said that you'll continue the story on sunday evening ni? Why the delay again nah?

lola, na holiday we dey o. Make things happen.

Larrylarex: Lola, shebi you said that you'll continue the story on sunday evening ni? Why the delay again nah?

U forget sey sunday no be one?

@ Op, lovi lovi, pls let us know which of the Sundays you talk about.

@all my peeps.
Merry xmas in advance.

I would have tried to squeeze in time to post today o, but my internet's not connecting. I just used mobile to type this.

Ndo o! E ma binu!

We av binu o, infact we 2k it P.

lola.luv:
@all my peeps.
Merry xmas in advance.

I would have tried to squeeze in time to post today o, but my internet's not connecting. I just used mobile to type this.

Ndo o! E ma binu!

^
Ya hakuri! No vex.

@ihedinobi
lol. You sound like my lecturers would: 'rework the paper'.

I really appreciate your critique. Guess what? I thot of that too!
Infact, I told myself that I was writing like a white person because we Africans care about family and background.
But just like you said, I didn't see the need to fleshen things up for now.

lola.luv:
^
Ya hakuri! No vex.

@ihedinobi
lol. You sound like my lecturers would: 'rework the paper'.

I really appreciate your critique. Guess what? I thot of that too!
Infact, I told myself that I was writing like a white person because we Africans care about family and background.
But just like you said, I didn't see the need to fleshen things up for now.

I'm glad you can relate to my thoughts. If it was any help, it was worth the battery power spent and the agony of typing on a smartphone.

Merry Christmas to everybody on this thread, especiali to lola.luv. The King is born: glory to the Lord in excelsis!

well done and nice one. so when are you posting again? we are waiting!

Merry Xmas 2everybody on ds thread

Yaaay! Finally I caught up. Been saving my comment for this space. Lollipop you are doing a great job. Nice story! But I still can't understand why all your readers..well including me..think you are Tega. Kudos to Coco and Badoski, they are the baddest people on this thread.(Afta Lola of course lol).

Aunty Lola! I L♥√Ξ U*crying

I no understand you o, loli. Them commot internet subsidy for your area? Meen! I am dying to get to the end of this lovely story. Wassup now?

This is the best story I ve ever readThis is the best story I ve ever readThis is the best story I ve ever read

Aunty lola i L♥√ξ u! Pls do complete d story *crying

Hapi new yr all...Lola its a new yr dnt make us wait lyk u did last yr...

vykte: Aunty lola i L♥√ξ u! Pls do complete d story *crying

I appreciate you too dear. Bt would appreciate it more if you call me by my name without the aunty. Thanks.


Thanks at everybody that has been commenting. I really appreciate you all. Happy new year once again and I'm making a few posts for your reading pleasure. Just for you...

Who has seen ID and coco? They've been missing in action....

*sneaks in*

Present Ma!

^^
Aha, there you are!! I was missing you noni!

Freecocoa has been scarce on NL o! What's happening?

Tega shook her head as the girl pleaded. ‘I’m sorry, but please understand. This is a sleeveless dress. The scarf keeps my shoulders covered! I can’t be in class with my chest all open, the lecturer will walk me out'!

'Please', the girl pleaded, her face tight with fright. 'My dad is downstairs on an impromptu visit. He’s gonna kill me if he sees me like this'!

Tega shook her head disapprovingly. ‘You should have thought of that before colouring your hair fire engine red, you know’. With a world-weary sigh, she slid off the scarf from her neck and handed it to the girl.

‘Thanks! You’re a darling’, the girl said, smiling as her red hair disappeared under the silky Pashmina. ‘I wouldn’t have been able to live this down in a million years. My pocket money would probably have been slashed. I really owe you one'!

'I’ll be waiting right here for you', Tega answered the girl. 'You have to hurry remember I have a class', she yelled after the retreating figure, before going into class and sitting on one of the collapsible seats.

'Tega, nice shoulders', someone complimented. 'When are you posing for my painting'?
'Don’t hold your breath'! She joked, folding her hands across her chest and exhaling. She hoped the girl would be back with her scarf before 302 came.
As she sat, she was unaware of someone’s probing eyes on her. He could see her clearly through the open door from where he stood on the balcony and watched as she glanced at her watch impatiently.

Tega sighed and tapped her sandaled feet on the floor. The lecturer was going to be present any moment from now. Surely she was going to be turned out for wearing a sleeveless dress to class. She looked round the class. Nobody had a semblance of anything she could cover with. She walked outside and peeped down the balcony. There was no sign of the red-haired girl. Sighing, she stood arms akimbo and her calm face belied the fact that she was frantically thinking of her available options.

Seeing her close up, Aliphat was fascinated. This was the first time he was seeing her around. And she had a class with the 300 level students, meaning, she was in 300 level. Well, it was his lucky day that he was in the Fine Arts Department today.
Just when he was about to take the few steps that would take him to her, he espied the other girl rushing back. He stepped back.
'Thank you so much', the red-haired girl gushed with the scarf outstretched in her right hand. 'Hope I’m not too late'?
'Thankfully, you aren’t', Tega smiled, feeling relieved once the scarf was securely over her shoulders again.

Aliphat watched her as she walked into class, just before she entered, she turned and looked at him and their eyes met for a brief moment. Before he could smile, she looked away and disappeared through the door to the class.
Damn! Aliphat exhaled. He was definitely going to be visiting the department a whole lot more....

**************************************************************************************************************************************************
Dami exhaled as the mixture of hot water and antiseptic swept down her tired body. She had been in the lab assisting a postgraduate student with her research. If not that she’d been chosen by her HOD (one of the topmost Profs in the department); she didn’t see the need to trouble herself over what she considered peanut pay for all her hard work. She sighed and glanced at her nails. She’d been made to trim them low.

'I don’t understand how a student of Microbiology would keep such unsanitary nails'; the HOD had complained distastefully when she’d gone to pick up some documents from his secretary’s office and he’d sighted her and asked her what department she belonged.

'Young lady, do you know that billions of bacteria would find that place a very conducive place to thrive? I know how to handle you people. Soon, I will give the directive that all lecturers should send out any student not dressed appropriately as a future scientist. Just look at her shoes', he added to the secretary, pointing at Dami’s feet. 'Tell me how such a student will not trip face-first into a Petri dish of some virulent bacteria'!

'God forbid', Dami muttered under her breath, wishing she hadn’t picked that day in particular to wear one of her killer heels.
'Thank you, sir'; she managed to answer when she felt he was done talking. As she’d made to walk away, the man called her back. And as she turned, for the first time she noticed a young man sitting on one of the visitors’ chairs. He had an amused look on his face, his mouth parted in a slight half-smile as he looked at her. Probably laughing at my foolishness, she’d muttered to herself.

'What level are you'? The HOD started. 'What is your GP'?
After she’d finished answering his questions and had falsely told him she was interested in working in the lab for the day, he’d given her the directive to: 'Get rid of those nails, get yourself suitable footwear and meet the others in the PG lab! I’m surprised a good student with a good CGPA as yours would choose to appear so unserious', he'd added.

Her ringtone shook her from her reverie and she shook away water from her hands before picking it up, looking at the screen.

'Hallo, baby. How was your day'?
'Where have you been'? Carl answered grumpily.
Dami’s heart sank. This doesn't sound good; He is obviously in one of his moods again, she ruminated.

Heart thudding, she managed to answer in a calm voice; 'I’ve been in the lab, baby. I sent you a text telling you I wouldn’t be able to pick calls'.

'You were not supposed to have classes today, Dami. So I’m going to ask you one more time. Where have you been all day'?

'I was chosen to work in the lab by the HOD, Carl. Apart from the fact that we were very busy, the HOD had someone monitoring the work. He admonished me earlier in the department for fixing fake nails and wearing tall shoes. I didn’t want to appear an unserious student by picking calls with his rep present. You know once they have this impression of you, it’s hard to convince them otherwise….And he might turn out to be my supervisor in final year so best I give good impression…'.

'I see', Carl hissed. His tone showed he didn’t see anything. 'What are you doing now'?
'I’m taking my bath, trying to wash off whatever my skin may have picked up from that lab. So many people culturing different microbes…'.She giggled nervously.

He laughed and to Dami’s ears, it sounded frosty and when he spoke, his voice was bitingly cold.
'You can keep deceiving yourself. And make sure you wash off the sémen of the ïdíot you’ve been with all afternoon thoroughly'.
Dami gasped at the insult and before she could think of anything to say, the line was dead.
Her heart pounding, her eyes streaming, she hurriedly poured the remaining water over herself and ran onto the room. Wrapping her towel over her body, she knelt over the mattress, shoulders convulsing as she wept.