Amustical:
Hahahhahaaahahah.... My first experience. Till I mastered it

you're a criminal.

[quote author=nani667

Buhari singing: you keep running, run as fast as you can, I'm gonna catch you. yes I'm gonna catch you.

Hi, please my s4 sensors and touch pad don't work. somebody suggested it could be an Os problem. Please enlighten me.

Is there anything wrong with the machine, how long have you been using it, how long does it take to freeze, and what is the power consumption? I'm based in Ogun

Where can I get the product in portharcourt?

Hi mods, this topic was erroneously moved to the sexuality
section, please it has nothing to do with sex. And please can
you recommend it for front page, it's about my experience
with weed. https://www.nairaland.com/1532526/experience-weed thanks.

Hi mods, this topic was erroneously moved to the sexuality section, please it has nothing to do with sex. And please can you recommend it for front page, it's about my experience with weed. https://www.nairaland.com/1532526/experience-weed thanks.

This thread was erroneously moved to the sexuality section, it has nothing to do with sexuality. It's my experience with weed.
www.nairaland.com/1532526/experience-weed
Can it make front page please, I think a lot of people might benefit from it.

Emmyk: LoL. Ori yo eh

Eleda Mumsy o sun rara.

Hi mods, can this topic make front page please. https://www.nairaland.com/1532526/one-night-stand-mary-jane

I had just moved out of my parents house and was sharing a room with my "friend". I had no idea he smoked weed, despite his suspicious movements and signature weed scent(abi na odour?) barely two weeks after moving in with him, my worst fears were confirmed as he started bringing home his weed smoking buddies and they would occassionally roll a wrap and smoke it right there in the room or mix the weed with beans or spagehtti.
Being a very curious person i always wondered what made them happy after smoking, so i decided to find out for myself(wrong move)

It was a very hot day in february, a saturday i think it was, my friend was out as usual. I searched everywhere for his stash but couldn't find it so i decided to go and get mine. I arrived the weed joint all sweaty and nervous, half expecting to get muged but nobody seemed to be aware of my presence there, they were all on different planets all expect one i concluded that he must be the seller so i approached him and the following conversation ensued:
Me: how far?
Weed seller: i dey
Me: i wan buy weed
Weed seller: how many parcel?
Me: parcel ke? Iro oo, na just small i need
Weed seller: laughs really hard. bolo leleyi sha(meaning this guy is a dunce oo)
Apparently, a parcel of weed is that small wrap, i didn't know that. I thought it was something very large.
I gave him 1000naira and he gave me a tiny wrap of weed with a white paper, i was suprised when he gave me 950 as change. I couldn't beleive weed was that cheap.


On my way home, i decided not to smoke it but mix it with beans because i thought that it will be better that way(another wrong move). Long story short, i cooked beans and added the whole weed, ate it and called my friend, i told him ogbeni i just ate weed oo and nothing happened to me this one that you people will eat and be feeling funky, i don chop am oo. My friend was like ehen you be strong man oo
I decided to take a quick nap before doing laundry, i woke up about 20 minutes later on the floor i was banging my head on the floor, and i couldn't stop, my heart beat was so audible and fast, everything was extra bright and extra loud. After a few minutes of head banging, i was able to get up from the floor,
I felt as if i had just gained access to a part of my mind that I never knew existed previously, it was scary and cool at the same time. I could feel the blood flowing in my veins(you have to experience it to believe it. Though I strongly advise against it) i felt so uncomfortable in the room, it felt like i was in an oven suddenly a voice in my head wisphered ogbeni bo aso e joor (off your clothes) i obeyed. The voice came again oya sa re(now run) that was when i realised that the weed had taken effect so i decided to take a shower to see if it will calm me down, but the water felt so hot on my skin so hot i ran out of the bathroom.

I called my friend to see if he could help me make sense of what was going on but he laughed at me, he asked me the quantity of weed i took and i told him i used a whole parcel, he said guyyyyy you don eff up if you no sleep in the next 30mins, you go mad oo go chemist make you go explain yourself.
By this time things had escalated, i had a severe itch at the back of my head that wouldn't go away no matter how hard i scratched and i was convinced that the beating in my chest was an evil spirit that could only be killed with a punch. I ran to my neighbour champion and told him champion e jo e fun mi lese laya(champion pls punch me in the chest) ti e ba gbami lese laya mo ma ku oo(if you don't punch me i will die oo) he hissed and walked out having had enough of such nonsense from the boys in the boys quatters.


The voice in my head came again iwo na o de gba ara e lese laya abi o ti fe ku ni(why don't you punch yourself in the chest or do you want to die?) i punched and punched but there was no difference.
The house was getting hotter, the voice in my head was getting louder, the itch in my head was getting worse, and the evil spirit in my chest was getting louder. Then came the voice again oya ma sare lo(start running) so i started running but on getting outside in the sun, i felt so cold i was shivering but that didn't stop me from running(i would have given husain bolt a run for his money on that day).
On getting to the chemist, i realised i was bare footed, i told him i had a severe headache i needed something to make me sleep immediately, he gave me the drug and i chewed it right there in his presence, next i asked him to give me a drug for evil spirit, that was when he realised something was wrong with me and chased me out.
I got back home and tried to sleep but my heart beat wouldnt let me, so i ran back out this time around to a nurse in the area, first thing she asked was kilode o wo bata ni? (why don't you have your shoes on? I told her jackie chan ti gba bata lowo mi (jackie chan collected my shoes) i was finally able to explain my situation to her and she took me in, tied something around my elbow and injected me directly in the vein. I passed out immediately only to wake around 1 or 2am in the middle of the night with the worst kind of hunger I have ever felt in my life. I ate a whole loaf of butter field bread in one sitting without butter or tea.

I came home to a hero's welcome, my friend told me e be like say your head no carry am but e go better make you try am once more so you go dey use to it. The following day while the house was empty, I packed my Ghana must go and like the prodigal son in the bible I went back home to my parents. It's been a few years since that experience but the lesson I learnt is an unforgettable one. My curiosity hasn't gotten me in trouble again and my circle of friends have since changed.

Lol @holy milk.

The dishonourable minister of education.

They have blocked it again.

Hi mods, i think this thread deserves a space on the front page. Thanks
https://www.nairaland.com/1360375/rivers-crisis-presidency-wants-amaechi

Rivers fracas: Presidency wants Amaechi
probed
2013-07-15 00:00:22
The Presidency has advised security agencies to ensure that
Rivers State Governor Rotimi Amaechi was investigated and
prosecuted after his tenure in office for his alleged
involvement in Tuesday's mayhem in the state House of
Assembly.
The advice was given just as the Action Congress of Nigeria
urged the Police Service Commission to address the causes
of the fracas in the House rather than the symptoms in its
investigation of the role of the police in the crisis.
The comments by the Presidency and the ACN followed a
July 9 petition by Amaechi to Jonathan on the free for all
that led to infliction of injuries on some lawmakers following
an attempt to impeach the Speaker of the House, Mr. Daniel
Amachree by a group led by Mr. Evans Bipi.
Amaechi had in the petition which was also addressed to the
PSC Chairman, Mike Okiro, requested the immediate
transfer of the Commissioner in charge of the state Police
Command, Joseph Mbu.
He also sent copies of the petition in which he detailed
Mbu's alleged atrocities to Senate President David Mark
and the Speaker of the House of Representatives, Aminu
Tambuwal.
But the Presidency through the Special Adviser to the
President on Political Matters, Ahmed Gulak, wondered why
the governor's priority should be on the redeployment of
the police commissioner at a time when efforts were
ongoing to fly an injured lawmaker, Michael Chinda, abroad
for treatment.
Gulak, in an interview with one of our correspondents in
Abuja on Saturday, however gave an assurance that the
President would look at the merits and demerits of
Amaechi's petition before taking a decision.
Insisting that the governor should be held responsible for
the fracas, the Presidential aide reminded Amaechi that
the immunity from prosecution which he currently enjoys as
a governor would end on expiration of his tenure.
He therefore asked security agencies to investigate the
fracas thoroughly and keep the file.
Gulak said, , "It is true that as a sitting governor, he enjoys
immunity but immunity cannot be forever.
"Security agencies should investigate the matter (fracas)
thoroughly and keep the file because I still find it amazing
and tragic for the governor to go into the House of Assembly
to play active role in the fracas. It amazes me.
"But one thing is sure, the President will read through his
(Amaechi's) petition. He will study it and look at its merits
and demerits. It is after that that the President will direct
relevant authorities appropriately on the matter.
"The governor had a game plan from the beginning. He
wants the commissioner of police redeployed. He is not
talking about a member of the House of Assembly who is the
Majority Leader and his (Amaechi) security details beat to a
coma.
"The lawmaker has been in a coma since that incident on
Tuesday and will be flown abroad for treatment. The
governor is not talking about that one, his major
preoccupation is the redeployment of the police
commissioner."
But the Rivers State Government and the ACN, said
Amaechi's quick intervention prevented the free-for-all in
the House of Assembly from escalating.
The Chief of Staff, Rivers State Government House, Port
Harcourt, Mr. Tony Okocha, argued that Gulak should
have called for an inquiry into how thugs gained entrance
into the House.
"It is most unreasonable to contemplate. Rather conversely,
Amaechi ought to be commended for his brave intervention
and rescue mission even at the risk of his life. Gulak should
be suggesting an inquiry into how armed thugs got into the
Assembly and at whose behest," he said in an SMS message
to The PUNCH.
"He (Gulak) should be able to absolve the Presidency from
complicity knowing the relationship between Bipi and the
Presidency. Nigerians are better aware than he thinks,"
Okocha added.
The Police headquarters has however summoned the
orderly to Amaechi, who was captured in a video engaging in
a brawl with a lawmaker during the fracas in the House.
"It is true that the police orderly who played a prominent
role in the fracas has been summoned by the IG. He was
captured in the video engaging in a fight with a lawmaker
contrary to Force discipline and code of conduct for officers,"
a source close to Louis Edet headquarters of the force said
on Sunday.
Inspector-General of Police, Mohammed Abubakar, had set
up a panel headed by the Deputy Inspector-General of
Police in-charge of Operations, Philemon Leha, to probe the
impasse.
When contacted on Sunday, the Deputy Force Public
Relations Officer, Frank Mba, said investigation into the crisis
was ongoing and that the force would not hesitate to invite
anyone involved in the incident.
"You are aware that the investigation panel set up by the IG
has begun its work; so anyone found to have participated in
the fracas can be invited . Everyone that played a role in
the incident will be summoned," he said.
The ACN, in a statement on Sunday by its National
Publicity Secretary, Alhaji Lai Mohammed, said a statement
credited to PSC Chairman, Mike Okiro, suggested that the
commission was only interested in the role of the police in
the fracas.
It stated that the commission was not interested in how the
police hierarchy in the state wantonly allowed the flare-up
because it was acting to protect certain interests at the
expense of the public.
The statement reads in part, "Governor Amaechi has
documented, in a much-publicised letter to Mr. Okiro, how
the Police Commissioner in Rivers, Mr. Mbu has thrown
professionalism to the winds in pursuing his narrow agenda
at the expense of the security of the state.
"It is on record that this 'political policeman' has worsened
the security situation in the state since he assumed office in
February 2013 by undermining the authority of the Governor
as the Chief Security Officer of his state; undermining the
security structure put in place by the State Security Council
and compromising the council to such an extent that
members no longer speak their minds freely during
meetings.
"These are the issues we expect a non-partisan PSC to
address with a view to sanctioning whoever it is that paved
the way for the disgraceful show that was put up under the
klieg light last week. While the PSC will be right to sanction
even the policemen shown to have acted badly that day, the
sanctions must extend to their bosses who allowed that to
happen."
ACN also insisted that Jonathan, his aides and the Peoples
Democratic Party could not distance themselves themselves
from the Rivers crisis.
It said, "Anyone with a conscience knows that the root of the
problem in Rivers lies in the President's bedroom, and no
amount of fanciful statements or name calling targeted at
those who are conscientious enough to call a spade a spade
will change that.
"This is why we are insisting that the President must be
impeached by the National Assembly for his failure to
respect the rule of law and the constitution of the Federal
Republic of Nigeria which he has taken an oath to uphold."

Typical nairaland, church threads on Sundays, politics on Mondays, tonto dikeh on Tuesday, amaechi on Wednesdays abbl.

Stegomiah:

Lmao! Could that be true?

True life story Bro.

It is now mobiletvshows.net happy downloading.

SlyIg: So they had this kinda money yet they refused to save their dying friend on their own!
But they'd rather took to the public for contributions? SMH.

your comprehension is very poor.

Fake a55 bloggers cooking up stvpid stories just to get traffic.

He wants to live long ni.

.

Where is your tomato sauce?

Reminds me of my neighbours 6yr old daughter who stole her mum's 12k. She bought sweets for all her friends and when the money refused to finish, she dumped the rest into the waste bin. She spent 410naira before she got tired.

Amaechi, Chidi I shake all of them round I move to Chidi Lloyd, are you the one disturbing? I give am gbo. I go meet azubike(didn't hear the name clear) I give am gba. Listen carefully you'll hear what he said.

duality: I just had to laugh!!!!!!!

It's hard not to.

I was initially going to say what is funny about old men making a phool of themselves, but on watching the video I found it funny make I no lie.
Chidi Lloyd the apako master.

Since February. Lol

TRILLIONIAR: WHOEVER DID IT WILL BE PURNISHED. HIT LIKE WITH YOUR AMEN

keep this rubbish on Facebook please. It's very annoying. Click like ko press like ni.