I don't know when this was posted but I'm going to drop mine anyway.

I'm Odusola Aanuoluwapo, no nickname. Proud Nigerian based in Nigeria, I'm a foodie, writer, music freak, shopperholic, God-lover and deep thinker.

I'm unmarried but I believe in marriage.

I see marriage as a union of people who have decided to love each other's imperfections perfectly.

Drdreyy:


Tah! Bloody liar

Nigerian girls that have been genitally mutilated while young.

They hate sex because it pains them due to the mutilation and can never enjoy it.

Furthermore, their libido has been killed by the mutilation.

So what are you saying? Unless your girlfriend is not a Nigerian

I strongly disagree, I don't know much about the mutilation bla bla. I'm female and believe me when I say I know females who never get tired of sex, only their menstrual cycle can stop them (if it's heavy).

It's very funny how people get into stuff then later can't deal with it. I'm almost certain that you were attracted to her with her thug outfits. Since there's no picture to prove that, I won't be able to know if it's the sexy kind of thug or the agbero kind. Regardless of that, you can surprise her by buying her clothes you consider feminine and insist that she wears any when she's coming to see you so you won't be ashamed anymore and with time, she'd get used to being more feminine in her dressing. I hope this will help.

It actually depends on what you and this university friend talks about. Its not until you engage in sexual activity with someone else that you've started cheating, if you're already have romantic and deep conversations with someone else such that you don't want your partner to know about, consider yourself flirting/cheating. If you know you're not ready to 'be' with the new guy, it's better to start limiting the communication because he's around and your bf is not which makes it more dangerous. Think before you do something you might regret.

Why is no one talking about multi links that had just 4 users?

Yesterday, Nigerian twitter was on fire as a result of Pastor E.A. Adeboye's thoughts regarding relationships and some other rules he made for ministers. If you didn't hear or read anything about it, let me give you a brief introduction of some of the things he said that caused a lot of arguments on the internet. He urged ladies not to marry a man who doesn't work because such man intends to live off them. For guys, he urged them not to marry any lady that can't cook, pray or do house chores for at least one hour. He also urged RCCG members to choose a partner within RCCG not outside the church. He told his ministers to be clean shaven as he didn't want anyone of them looking like a member of al-qaeda. Now that you have an idea of what he said, let's move on to why we're here today.

"...looking up to Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith" is a verse in the bible. This verse talked about looking up to JESUS, he didn't mention Adeboye, or any other respectable man of God anywhere in the world. The bible also told us that there are two paths before us, life and death, but urged us to choose life. This means we know the good and bad, we have a choice to choose either but it's advicable we go with the good. Somewhere again said "there's a path that seems right to men but the end thereof is destruction', which means that what you think is life sometimes, might just be death. Before I proceed, I'd like to announce that this is just my personal opinion, hence it's not binding.

Pastor E.A. Adeboye is a respected man of God everywhere in the world and as a result, can give fatherly advice based on experiences, spiritual revelations, and what he believes is the right standard to follow. When the argument began on the internet, I couldn't understand it because this man didn't come out to say "God said...", he obviously only gave advice which you can choose to take or leave. Regarding his instructions to his ministers, we all know that all churches have doctrines because where there is no law, there is no sin. I didn't see any RCCG minister coming out on social media to complain so dear non-ministers, kindly drop it, it wasn't meant for you.

I get surprised when people leave churches or behave in a certain way because a Pastor or church member did something to prompt it, and in most cases, indirectly. We all have a choice, we can choose where we want to worship at any point as long as you feel the spirit of God is there. What is wrong is seeing a Pastor as a perfect person. "And be ye perfect even as thy father in heaven is perfect" says the bible. This is evidence that only our father in heaven is perfect. So because someone had been preaching the gospel since he was in the womb doesn't make him perfect, we're all working towards perfection day by day and trusting God to help us achieve that.

The only being we have been commanded to emulate is God and we can only know the way of God by reading his word (Joshua 1:. Our pastors are only spiritual leaders in human form so they have the tendency to be human too. That said, if you don't agree with what a man of God says, rather than speak against it or insult him, find out what God said about it in his word and let the spirit of God guide you in your research. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, I know but if you must disagree with one's opinion, do it right, don't get abusive about it. Its not a necessity to act in a certain way you don't see as right. If someone gives you advice on anything, think about it closely, take the one you need and leave the rest. That's all.

Let's endeavour to use the word of God as a standard for our lives not what anyone else says, except you believe strongly in it. God is the one whose steps we should follow, not men or men of God.

skarlett:
I fall into the 7th category

Me too *tear*

slap1:
Which Tonto Dike?

In my opinion, she's more beautiful than Tonto...but did she just pose for all these pictures or she transferred them to you from her phone?

*sigh* some questions though

So I read a story on naira-land about a girl who turned from good to bad upon gaining admission into the University and I thought I should do this. I’m sure we would agree with me that the University is an eye opener for many and in some cases, opens their eye negatively, especially when they decide to see everything that throws itself at them. This is not restricted to gender, girls turn bad, boys turn bad as well. Are we saying we should no longer send our kids to the University or anywhere far away from us to prevent them from following this trend, to stop them from joining ‘bad gang’?

I’m almost certain that we’ve seen people who changed totally from good to bad as soon as they entered the University, we even have some as friends, or maybe some of us are even examples, who knows? But then, if we don’t do something about it, we will keep seeing them and not only in outsiders, we would see them in our own siblings, and children. So what is the answer to this ‘thing’ freedom is doing to young people?

The bible explained it in the book of proverbs (apologies to people who practice other religions), I can’t remember the verse but I think it’s in chapter ten. It said to “train up a child in the way (s)he should go and when (s)he’s old (or grows), (s)he would never depart from it”. Inasmuch as this is a bible quote, it also sounds very logical, the values you instill in a child is what the child will exhibit. There’s another verse that says “if (or when) the foundation is destroyed, what can the righteous do?” I know this isn’t Sunday school but these things are just truths we need to work with or else, they would work against us.

The foundation is the most important part of a building though the building itself is important. The foundation determines to a large extent how the building would turn out. That’s why our foundations are very important, that’s why it’s important to train a child the way you want him or her to go. You can’t train a child forever, so if you don’t start early, it might just be too late before you realize it. The character a child exhibits outside is only a reflection of the foundation that has been laid, how he or she was trained or brought up.

We are not always the same person around everyone and that’s why a person would behave in a certain way with family and an entirely different way when with friends. That’s why most attributes that children exhibit later may shock their parents because they never saw it coming. Those attributes were not ‘lowkey’, they were just not meant for home which is why the right values have to be instilled in children to avoid a switch that’s terrible when they’re away from.

The University is an institution of learning and educational growth for an individual. If you ever passed through it, you definitely wouldn’t want your children to miss that opportunity especially when you have the financial capability to make it happen. Some parents also have contributed to the negative turn out of their children because they were too strict to give them the opportunity to let them express themselves not only in words but in actions. If you can’t see the real them in action, you wouldn’t be able to correct them fully because you would only see what you choose to see or what they choose to show.

I understand that you can never know a person up to a hundred percent but the best way to know someone is to allow them be themselves, though there would be limits. You don’t chain an animal to observe its behavior, you only make sure it doesn’t have too much freedom so it won’t misuse it. That’s how some parents are, they won’t let their children’s friends visit and they won’t let their children visit others either. They won’t let them attend rehearsals or extra-curricular activities just because they don’t want them to mingle wrongly. The truth is, you can’t hold them back from expressing themselves. They definitely will, with or without your permission or supervision.

Though there are things they would learn from ‘outside’, good or bad but with the right values instilled in them, it would most likely not have any lasting negative effect on them. No one is perfect and sometimes, you have to experience certain things to truly learn so yes, good and bad, they would learn but with the fear of God and the right foundation, the good will overcome the bad.

Don’t be too strict and don’t indulge them beyond normal. Be approachable, don’t let your children be scared of you. Let them respect you not fear you. I’m not a parent but I’ve seen and experienced a mixture of good and bad parenting and I know you have too. Don’t spoil the child because ‘spare the rod and the child’. Train up a child in the way (s)he should go and University would have ‘nothing’ on him/her. Build the right foundation, build trust, pray, act and you would have almost nothing to worry about even if they have to be miles away from home. It takes conscious efforts to create the kind of future we want and the earlier we take those steps, the better for us.

*sigh* what a criteria! It's not by size though, it's how he uses it #shikena

Awwww cute

victorydreams:
None of them pass for gospel artist. Gospel music should be gospel music and circular music should be circular music

*secular

Keneking:


I rate this article one star (*), poor articulation of points, weak font combination and characterisation.

Nonsense write-up

Oshey panel of judges

obaroiskool:
People thinks public romance and touches is a way of telling the public they are best lovers, but I tell you now, you are only telling the public that you are inresponsible, who cares if you are the best lovers or not. Don't make people see you as a kid because you want to show affection. I will tell, there are many ways love can be expressed without touching each other. Jacob served another 7 years just to marry Racheal. That is "labour of love" . No touches or public romance. But Racheal felt loved

Oshey brother moses

wilybebsy:
What's going on here

Read on, thank you

"How's he feeling now" said Cole looking at Kunle in a very concerned manner, "he's better now, what are you doing here?" Jane replied. "Checking on my best-friend of course or do I need your permission to do that?", "I'm not saying you need my permission, I'm just saying you shouldn't be here after everything", silence. "I know you did it" Jane said, "Did what?" asked Cole, "It" Jane said as she pulled him aside and continued "I don't care about what has happened in the past, I don't need your revenge, I don't need you, all I need is my husband alive", she doubted those words but it felt like the right thing to say. "Jane, it's not what you think, I made a mistake and it's not trying to kill him, it's not actually killing him", before she could respond, he continued "besides, I didn't do it for you, I did it for me".

"How?" asked Kunle who had just woken and overheard them since their voices weren't so low, they both looked towards him speechless. Silence. "Hey man, how's your head?" Cole asked breaking the silence. Jane also finding the courage to say something said "Honey, how are you feeling?" No response. "I'm fine, thank you both but what I really want to know is why you tried to kill me Cole, sleeping with my wife wasn't bad enough yeah? You wanted me dead too? What did I ever do to deserve this?" Kunle said, sounding like a "good person". Silence. "I didn't just have sex with your wife Kay, you had sex with my wife too". Kunle and Jane looked at each other at the mention of wife knowing fully well that Cole wasn't married or at least, that was what they thought.

"It happened while I was overseas, I found love or I thought I did until she met you". Silence. "She was everything I wanted so we got married but she had to come back to Nigeria since she only came on vacation and didn't intend being based in the United States as she had other things to attend to in Nigeria. She promised to come back as soon as she was done. I was going to tell you guys about it later since you both said you were planning a trip to the US, it was supposed to be a surprise but then, you surprised me first when I realised my wife had been spending more time at work because according to her, she was helping her "boss" out with other things and that boss was you. I knew she was working with you as soon as she mentioned the name of her workplace but I thought it'd be part of the surprise if I kept it from her too. Little did I know that you were sleeping with my wife.

Pause. Kunle and Jane exchange glances.

I wouldn't even have found out if I didn't call her one particular day, it was a video call and she didn't end the call because she had to open the door for someone and that someone was you. You and her began doing all sorts to each other while I watched till I couldn't take it anymore. I told myself I was going to have sex with Jane by all means as soon as I was back as payback but then, it's not even equal because you've had my wife more than I even have, I didn't know what to do, I felt with you in the picture, it was never going to be right between us, I mean Ronke and I. Ending your life was my only option, I realised my mistake after it so I was glad seeing you alive even though I still hate you. No woman is worth dying for, definitely not Ronke, I don't know about Jane though, that's for you to decide".

Silence.

"I don't know what to say" Kunle began, "I know I've wronged you Jane by cheating on you, I had no right, I should have being with you, for better or for worse just like our wedding vows. I don't know what came over me, I wasn't thinking or let me say I wasn't thinking with my head" he held her hand while he spoke, "I'm sorry about everything, I shouldn't have gone that far, I promise you that this wouldn't repeat itself. As soon as I'm out of here, we would plan a trip outside the country away from this tension and everything else that has been happening and I'm also going to fire Ronke right away". He tries to pick his phone but Jane stops him while Cole looks expression-less. He continue "Cole, I'm sorry for sleeping with your wife, if I had known, I wouldn't have, I didn't mean for all these to happen. I'm sorry man, I've forgotten everything that happened between you and Jane and I believe it won't happen again" Jane nods in agreement. "I'm really sorry about everything Cole and Jane, I love you both and I don't want us to be apart". Kunle looks at Jane, "Babe, do you have anything to say?"

Pause.

She was going to talk about how sorry she was, how she regretted her decisions, how she also planned to kill him but she decided against it, the atmosphere was tense enough and she didn't intend making it worse, she mentally planned making it up to Kunle in private. "Errrr, I'm having a baby boy" she said smiling hoping everyone would smile too, surprisingly it worked. "We were going to tell you later but I guess the right time is now" said Kunle. "Are you sure the baby is...." Cole said but was interrupted quickly by Kunle who said "Yes it's mine, it happened before you came back", "I was asking if you were sure it's a baby boy" Cole said and they all laughed.

"Ehen Ronke, how did you know the guy who hit me with the gun?"


THE END
*closes curtain*



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Read on

“Hello, good afternoon”, there was no response from the other end but he could say voices underground; “hello, can you hear me?” he repeated, then a response came when he had almost given up, “HELLO, who’s this?” in the most “agbero-ish” voice he had heard but did it matter? “Good afternoon, are you Shegzy?” to which he got a “Yes, what do you want?” convinced that he was speaking with the right person, he quickly said, “I need your help and it’s not something we can discuss over the phone” he said quickly just in case someone decided to eavesdrop. “Ok, when and where can we meet?” They concluded on a place and time and the call ended almost immediately.

“Hey Honey, how are you?”, “I’m fine bae, missing me?” said Kunle, "Yeah, I can't wait for to be home, what would you like to eat?" she said. "I'd like to eat you" he said like a natural romantic, "okay, me it is then, just come home soon because baby misses you" she said rubbing her tummy with her left hand. "Alright love, see you soon, let me finish up". "At least he wouldn't reject me anymore which works for me since my plans can still stand. Thanks to my Father-in-law and Pastor Goke for intervening in our issues, I don't know where we would have been. Its a good thing Kunle accords a lot of respect to his father and our pastor, it yielded good results and the results are going to get better when I'm done executing my plans" she thought to her self.

Once a cheat, always a cheat. That's my sub, infact it's both our subs and by "our" I mean Jane and I. As much as I love...no, loved, no, partly love Jane, I still don't see myself being with just her. Not after everything that had happened besides, I had Ronke and I wasn't ready to "un-have" her for a woman I wasn't sure was totally mine. The reason behind her recent change though I'm still trying to decipher. Maybe it's because of Dad and Pastor's talk with us, I just pray it is as I'm beginning to suspect her. She hasn't been this nice to me in a very long time but I'm liking it, I might end up leaving Ronke for her, I just might. I'm still going to deal with that bastard ex-bestfriend of mine though. If Jane misbehaves, she might share the punishment with him but I pray she doesn't. I just pray.

"Hi, are you Shegzo?", "Yes, I am", "Okay, I called you earlier saying I needed your help", "Ohh, that was you?" "Yes, it was" he said quite surprised that Shegzo could speak fluent english and also dressed very corporate, just the "agbero" voice spoilt everything but who cares? As long as he could provide what he wanted. "So why do you want us to kill him?" Shegzo asked looking at the picture of the deadman-to-be, "I'd like to keep that to myself" he said diplomatically. "Ok then" Shegzo said after which they concluded on a price and departed.

On his way home, he got her favorite perfume, he knew she would love it. He wasn't trying to be nice or something but if she was making efforts, he should reciprocate at least. She had really changed, like a lot and he was scared because it was just too good to be true. He couldn't count the number of times they'd made love in the past few days and he was sure there was another session awaiting him. He'd figure out sooner or later the reason for her sudden change but he would enjoy it while it lasted.

"Kunle should be home in 20 minutes", she mentally calculated as she stood up to change her outfit into something sexier than what she was wearing. Not long after, she heard his car horn, James, the gateman attended to that immediately. They had gotten a gateman when no one became sure of the other's movement since they weren't on talking terms. It was a good thing they now have James, he was useful for other things too, especially to Jane. Kunle got into the house and found Jane looking as gorgeous as as as...she hugged him back to reality. He couldn't resist so he began to kiss her deeply and was about undressing her when they heard a knock. "Were you expecting someone?" they both asked almost at the same time to which the "No" response was given. "Let me get the door", Jane said. The figure she saw on opening the door startled her. Of all people, Segun? "How did he get my address?" she thought. Segun broke the awkward silence and asked if she lived there to which she replied "Yes, it's my house". She couldn't just stop thinking about why Segun was visiting them knowing his past that led to him being jailed for several years. Kunle had to check on Jane because she was taking too much time to join him in the bedroom and he hadn't even given her the gift he got her. Kunle seeing that Jane was conversing with someone had to move closer, Segun brought out the gun and hit Kunle with it making him unconscious. Jane panicked but Segun had to leave, he couldn't bring himself to do the job, his life story wouldn't be complete without Jane in it. She was too important.



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“You may now kiss the bride” said the Pastor, my husband looked into my eyes and said “you look beautiful” as he proceeded to put his lips on mine…next I heard was “if my love can’t be with you, who in the world can I give it to……” that was my phone ringing. Yes, I changed my ring tone from “Chandelier” by Sia to “Can’t say I never loved you” by Melanie Fiona because I think it relates more with my present situation. The ringing phone brought me back to the land of the living as I was obviously dreaming. This dream makes it the third dream I’ve had about Cole and I getting married. No, I don’t like him that much, I’m crazy over him but it’s only for the love making. I am not a perv in anyway but if Kunle can have numerous sexual partners, who am I to not have one, just one o, especially my ‘first’….i can still remember the experience, it was bliss.

It was a friday and we had planned to spend the weekend together starting from Friday evening. We spent Friday night at a popular club in town. I’m not much of a dancer but when I love someone, I could compromise and besides, I loved trying out new things. The music was too loud for a quiet person like myself but Cole was everything, he was the prince charming ladies wished for, lucky me right? I thought so too (maybe I still think so). He pulled me up occasionally to make sure I moved my body at least a little because I just stayed glued to the chair. When he didn’t pull me up, he just danced in front of me showing me his moves. We didn’t spend too much time there because I was famished and baby (me) had to eat. We went to have late dinner at a restaurant not so far from the club.

At the restaurant, we looked at the items on the menu and decided to try something new. No it wasn’t as nice as we had imagined. It looked nice but then, the statement "looks can be deceiving" doesn't only apply to humans. We had finished our horrible dinner and consoled ourselves by getting a bottle of vodka with ice cubes. That was going to be for later, the later we didn't really have a plan for. Just like me, Cole was adventurous so it worked for us, we didn't always have to plan stuff before we did them, it only made the stories more interesting and the memories crazier. So we got to the house, turned off the lights after serving our drinks of course. We sat side by side on the carpet talking about our terrible meal, other couples we saw, bla bla. At some point, my clear sentences became gibberish then Cole began to laugh at me. I got up and staggered to the bed in drunk-anger if there's anything like that, he followed me but kept laughing and laid facing me. He knew just what I wanted - attention, and he knew how to give it to me.

"I love you" he said as he kissed me passionately, he slowly took off my clothes. I was dizzy but I wouldn't forget such an unforgettable experience. He gave me the best "head" he had, maybe it felt different because I was "high" or maybe he just gave me his best that night. The words to describe how I felt that night hasn't been created so I'd let your imaginations run wild. He got to the boob department and did justice to it, did I just say justice? He did a lot more than that, he kept free styling while I just allowed myself to feel everything with the intention to repay when I was in my right state of mind. Something happened within few seconds, he 'entered' me and it was like an electric shock. We never got that far because I was never ready. As if realising what I had just realised, he paused, looked at me and said "I'm sorry" accompanied by holding me in his "I'm sorry" way. Surprisingly, I said, "i'm ready" but he said "no babe, we don't have to do this". I said "shhhh, just do it" then he started the process over again but this time with my participation. That night moved our relationship to the next level.

I didn't realize I had been smiling sheepishly and also unconscious of the activities going on around me until Kunle turned on the television set. I looked at him and asked "when did you come in?" to which he replied "while you were busy" pointing to my pubic region. That was when I realised I had my hand on my pubic region, doing whatever to it. I was surprised within myself but I didn't show it, no point anyway. "I made rice in case you're hungry", I said ignoring his previous observatiion. "Thanks but I'm not", he replied almost immediately. He was probably thinking I might poison him one of these days but I had no such plan...yet. How he found out, I'm still wondering but when he confronted me, I didn't lie about it. I even went ahead to give him details until I heard a slap on my face. I knew I shouldn't have told him all that but I was angry and I couldn't control it. How it was cool for him to cheat and it was not cool for me was funny. When he cheats, he's just being a man, but when I do, I'm worse than the devil because I didn't consider the fact that I was a married woman. On second thoughts, maybe poisoning would be a good idea but food poisoning wouldn't work except I'm planning my own death since he no longer eats what I cook. I just had to figure out the best option and I had to do it fast. No one would blame a widow if she seeks pleasure in other men, after all she wasn't tied to any, at least not physically.


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I knew I wasn't morally justified to yell at Janet because I'm a cheat, but if she had to get back at me for my flirting, Cole wasn't the right candidate. Nice play Janet, real nice play. I had been driving for Lord knows how long, no destination in mind, truth be told, I had a blank mind. Ronke! Her name rings like a dining hall alarm in my head, her seductive face and ways tingles the "sinner man" in me. I had to see her immediately. She's like a virus in my blood. Once her type gets into a man's life, there's no going back as its fight to the finish.

Sipping a glass of red wine in her well furnished apartment after surprising her with a call asking for directions to her house. Before you judge me, be aware that I just needed someone to talk to, I've had enough of extra marital issues for one day. I haven't invested into the affair with Ronke, it's just sex and nothing more. Now's the time to invest! "Ronke tell me about your love life" I ask "You can't tell me you've been emotionally broken since day one, can you?" I chirped in laughing. She smiles and goes on to give me detailed info on her life before she became my “straff” buddy. "I was raped by my brother at age of 7, it's tormenting when your 15 year old brother pins you down, and aggressively takes the pride of a young girl. Not satisfied with the abomination, he did it every day for 4 years till he was caught" I stare blankly at her and mutter a dry "I'm sorry". "Thank you babe". Babe? Did she just call me babe? (Kunle you don enter, I tell myself). "Back to my story, my last relationship lasted 4 years. David was a dog, slept with almost every woman who came his way. The last straw was when I caught the bastard pleasing another man's genitals with his tongue". "Good Lord Ronke you've been through a whole lot" I resort. "Yes I have, gave up on being a good woman and took on the slut I am right now. But that was until I met you. Kunle I love you". That confession was sealed with a blissful kiss.

Sex that night was different, it wasn’t sex, it was lovemaking with all to lose and all to gain. I'm currently facing a dilemma, I love my wife, but have a deep affection for my secretary. What I'm I to do? My relationship with Ronke can't last a lifetime, that I know. To savour the moment and damn the consequences? Or be logical and responsible? She also cheated, but hers is more painful. With my best friend, talking about that useless man called Cole, he was my ride or die, my blood, we was fam. Well time to take revenge Mr Cole.

I woke up to my alarm tune "Jagaban". This house isn't how it was a short while ago, no love, no happiness, and no apologies. We've become strangers under the same roof, we don't talk, we don't even eat together. Me no send at all. Iyalaya anybody, this is interesting to say the least, we're just estranged and it's a game at least to me. It's fight to the finish. I'm not being childish or anything, but she didn't give an explanation about her and Cole. She's making the move, she wants to perform her wifey duties bedroom-wise, I'm having none of that as my Ronke was sufficient for me. We've even been going out on dates, exchanging notes and love letters like teenagers with raging hormones and I'm loving the moment while it long lasts.
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I'd like to play the blame game right now. I never intended to cheat, it wasn't a plan. She made me do it. Her cold ways and loveless state made me see juicy babes as juicy, not just as humans. Now it's all crumbling down. The castle walls can't hold still anymore. I still feel for her, but why Cole? Why my best friend? She couldn't let him go? Well...you know what they say about your "first" right? These questions got me thinking like a mad man.

A tap on my door brought me back to reality, it's my father (yes I do have a family other than that bandit of a wife, thank you) *rolls eyes like Olosho wey no collect complete money*. I forgot to tell you that I'm from an influential family. Money has never been a problem, (even Sarkodie got nothing on us),turns out the poor man has missed me all along. He's inviting us (the plus 1 is Janet) for a dinner. That money smelling kind of party. Janet and I did put up a nice appearance touching each other, holding hands, smiling and even pecking quite a number of times (had to rinse my mouth with mouthwash cos you never know what Cole has been pumping into her mouth).

The past 3 months in my house has been as cold as a new refrigerator, silent, and without emotions. Ronke and I got really well, both on and off duty *winks*, Cole called me once to offer an apology and possibly a meet up to which I wasn't yielding, I also caught his missed calls to Janet twice, heard her laughing over the phone a number of times which was new. Everything is in total disarray down here. No one cares, no one gives a hoot about the other.

Making money and more money had been my distraction, driving back home I thought to myself, if Cole can do this to me openly, he's capable of killing me. Dwelling on the subject of kill it won't be a bad idea to end Janet's relationship with Cole with a grave. Shebi it's till death do us part? My phone rings, caller happens to our family doctor. Dr Nathan never pays courtesy visits or calls to me. What's different today. "Hello Dr Nathan, this one you remember me today, e be like say Buhari dey share money abi?" I greet him laughing. One thing I like about him is his sense of humour. "Noo my brother, this one wey dollar don reach 400 Naira, I called to congratulate you." I'm confused so I quickly park "congratulate me? How so?" I ask. "Mr Kunle, you'd soon be a father, your wife is 6 weeks pregnant. Good luck, I have to go now. Remember to pop champagne ooo". A dry "thanks doctor" was all I could mutter. How can she be pregnant? I haven't touched her in 3 months. Cole! The bastard! It's his seed that's inside my wife. I wouldn't take this lying low. Akinwale Cole had to die for ruining my home and bringing shame and disgrace to me, I knew just the guy for the job. I search my phone book for a name, Lanre. The deal must be done soon. "Goodbye my friend, see you in hell"


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The look in his eyes could shred me into a thousand pieces, Cole wasn't just his best friend, he was the man who popped my cherry during my department's field trip years ago. We weren't attending same university, but our schools had agreed to collaborate for the field trip at the time. Cole is one of the smoothest men in the world. Curly hair, erotic laughter, crisp outfits, a caring spirit and an intelligent mind to accompany all these. He was all these and more.

Though I was married to Kunle, Cole was still the best I ever had but then he had to travel to France to be with his parents and siblings that had been there for a while. We tried to make it work but it just wasn’t working due to the distance between us and a lot other things I’d rather not mention. Kunle came along not long after Cole travelled. He became my best-friend and before I knew it, I fell in love forgetting about Cole gradually. I and Cole still kept in touch so he knew everything that was going on. Kunle and Cole also kept in touch. Kunle knew everything that happened between Cole and I since Cole was his best friend. Cole approved of our relationship so there were no issues.

I loved Kunle or should I say I still do? Yes I think I love him because I get jealous and infuriated every time he cheats, I wouldn’t feel that way if I had no love for him at all. What Kunle didn’t know was that a part of me died every time he cheated and it made me hate his touch no matter how much I craved it. I just couldn’t imagine sleeping with someone who sleeps with other people not even minding my feelings. I know I might be difficult sometimes but Kunle knew exactly how I was before he decided that I was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. I didn’t expect him to do that to me.

My baby made me even sadder than I was, my precious baby. After months of precautionary living, months of ante-natal treatment, months of shopping for baby clothes, months of pain, mixed feelings, joy, can I ever mention it all? He just had to die. I thought he was going to be the perfect distraction I needed from my cheating husband but he just had to die. Kunle’s reaction towards it didn’t even make it any better; he acted like it was one of those things. We lost a baby and you can equate it to losing money? It doesn’t even relate. I still loved Kunle and could love him even more if he decided to make me the only woman in his life he would be sleeping with.

He loves me no doubt but I needed more. A lot more. Kunle thinks I’m ignorant of his sexual activities with other ladies. This morning, I caught him chatting with someone called Grace and I’ve noticed this for quite some time but I decided to keep mum about it. I knew about his secretary from the very first day he 'had' her but the pain of my son’s death didn’t make me bring it up. I had his office monitored with my camera I placed there; I also have our living room and bedroom all camera-d up so every day I came back from work or anywhere, I get them and watch them. The videos amaze me. The kind of things my husband practices with her though, I can’t remember the last time he did that with me.

This is why I don’t let him touch me most times because every time he tries to, all I see in my head are the videos, the videos of his sexual activities with his sexy secretary. I know I should hate her but it doesn’t mean I won’t admit that she’s sexy. I’m sexy too, I know this because I hear it a lot, I see it and also because I used to be a runway model but there’s always someone sexier, yeah? You just have to be satisfied with the one you have. The same way I’ve been and still am satisfied with the Kunle I have but he just wouldn’t be satisfied and I have to make him pay for it. I’ve not decided on how to yet.

Cole had just come into the country last night and I couldn’t just wait to see him. The big-head has refused to get married; he thinks marriage is a waste of time. I don’t blame him; my story is enough to make someone dislike the idea of marriage. As soon as I got to Cole’s hotel room, he opened the door and saw me looking like a woman who had just lost her husband. He held me tight for about ten minutes then kissed me and kissed me again. I looked at him questionably; he ignored “the look” and kissed me still. I didn’t want him to stop but I couldn’t believe that he still had a hold on me. I thought I was over him but I wasn’t obviously. He took me into the bathroom and kept kissing me still while stroking my boobs with one hand. Gawd! I had not felt like that in a long time, Cole knew how to do it and not just how to do it, he knew how to do it right just like old times. We got into the warm-watered bath tub; he sucked my boobs in such a way that made me forget my troubles for a second. He went ‘down’ on me and gave me the best ‘head’ I’ve had in long time.

I was already someplace I didn’t want to leave from the way Cole touched every part of my body like it was gold. I felt like a woman for the first time in months. As if the sensation wasn’t enough already, he entered into me and awakened something in me. He thrusted slowly, slowly, slowly then fast, fast, fast, fast………….he turned me around, grabbed my a**, and I was soaring with excitement, I also went back and forth to make it even more exciting. When I felt he was going to ‘cum’, I turned him around and took him on a long ride, he was shocked, he didn’t know I still had it in me. He moaned and held my waist while I rode on till he finally came.

I laid on his chest, reality dawned on me. I remembered who I was going back to and how much pain he had caused me, the videos I recorded, the baby……I cried. I wished this moment of peace or so I thought would never end, how I lied. Cole encouraged me to forget everything bad that has happened and try to remember why I fell in love with Kunle in the first place. He also instructed me to destroy the cameras, he felt there was no need having his activities monitored. He believed I'd have more rest of mind without all that.

Going back home wasn't an easy task. I just had to because I didn't want to start sleeping out without concrete grounds, besides, if I would, it wouldn't be because of Cole. I know he wanted me too but then, it's too late since I was married to his best-friend. Kunle didn't know Cole was around because it was supposed to be a surprise, I'm sure this wasn't the kind of surprise Cole had in mind. Still staring at me while I stared back in innocence, he finally found the courage to utter the words, "Jane, have you been seeing Cole?" to which I replied "Kunle, I'd like to be alone". I walked away slowly secretly hoping he won't persist and surprisingly he didn't, he just got dressed up and left the house. Now I had to tell the truth or figure out a plan B. God help me.

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She didn't make any effort to turn the car around until I opened the gate; apparently that was what she was waiting for. She left without kissing me goodbye as usual though I wasn't even expecting it because I got caught again just like the last time but this time, I turned it upside down, I made it seem like her fault. I don't know if it worked but I just hope the goodbye kiss is the only thing she would deprive me of getting today because I had intentions of making it up to her later tonight and I guess you know the outcome of that (shhhh, don't tell her, a man has to do what he has to do).

As soon as I settled in, I called my Secretary, Ronke to bring home some files so I could work on them but I had more in mind. It wasn't new to Ronke though as it was something we did from time to time. At work, at conferences and it even gets better when we had to travel out of the state, we go all the way undisturbed and Jane understands if she's unable to reach me. She would assume it was a network issue but now that she caught me flirting for the second time, even if it was just via chats, I doubt if she would trust me again but again, I knew my wife and how to handle her.

Ronke didn't take her time to get to the house and from the way I sounded over the phone, I suspected that she knew we would have privacy because she didn't wear her jacket this time. She held it in her hand and her very attractive cleavage called out to me. Ronke knew exactly how to turn me on unlike Jane. Jane used to know how to before we got married but I don't know what changed; these days a good morning and a goodbye kiss is all the romance we have (on the days we have). The only time I get to see her nude is when she bathes in front of me and when I try to touch her, she tells me it's been a long day and all she wanted was rest, nothing more, nothing less.

I talked to her several times about it and she promised to change. The only change I saw was usually for the first two weeks after the complaint. We would have sex like never before, anywhere, anytime, in the kitchen, on the couch, in the bath, in the car and then back to zero mode. It seemed she wanted me to always let her know how much I wanted her in words before she could let me have my way. It was too much work for me and I wasn’t always ready for that kind of work just to have sex with my wife. Jane knew this and she never stopped giving me a hard time sexually.

The good thing was that in times like that, I had Ronke who always wished she could have me to herself. I loved my wife though but if she wouldn’t give me what I wanted, then someone else had to do it. Ronke was working on the files while I thought about all these. I was beginning to have re-think regarding my actions with her but then I saw those thighs, Lordy Lord! And the cleavage too and I was already doing her even without her realizing it. *tap tap* that was her hand on my lap, “what are you thinking about?” to which I responded with an ‘i-want-you smile’ accompanied by a “nothing”. She then turned around to keep doing whatever she was doing but I knew Ronke too well to know that it was only a trap because she knew how much I loved her a**. Without thinking twice, I grabbed her and bent her over my favourite couch in the living room and had the best time of my life. She faced me and pushed me onto the long couch and rode me like a horse while I fondled her boobs and I could sense that she had the best time of her life because as far as I was concerned, I was in heaven. Only Ronke made me feel this way lately.

What I felt for Ronke was something I really couldn’t place, she was a good secretary though but I really didn’t trust her enough to invest in our relationship. She was too attractive to be faithful and very flirtatious too. She had secured for my company several contracts through this skill of hers and she was too sexy to not be tasted by someone in my position. I’m a very good looking guy, I know this because I see ladies stare at me at work and even off work. I could sense that they wanted me but I wasn’t interested because I had everything I needed in Jane. That was before Jane started with her new attitude. She wasn’t always like this, she used to be very sensitive, caring, romantic and sexy. Ever since we lost our baby at birth, she has refused to forgive herself as if it were her fault. She kept saying “if only I had eaten more fruits”, “if only I had slept more”, “if only I had exercised more” “if only,if only………”. I understood at first but later it became infuriating but I never reacted like it. I remember one time when we were making love and she just paused then said “Kunle, what if I had prayed more? Would he have died?”

I couldn’t continue anymore with the action, I just held her in my arms while she cried like a baby then I said “Jane, it wasn’t your fault, what has happened has happened. We’re both alive enough to make another baby”. She said “Kunle, what if……………” I interrupted her sentence with a kiss and more kisses until we got back in the mood again. She continued being sober for about some months more until she just went blank. She no longer cares about her looks or nothing talk-less of me, her husband. All she does is cook and even the cooking is so different from her normal style. Everything is so different and it hurts because she doesn’t even care.

My mind drifts far every now and then, even the sexy body of Ronke as she laid on my chest didn’t stop my mind from drifting. It was almost 6pm, Jane was going to be home soon and I had to find a way to ‘discharge’ Ronke. I woke her up with a kiss and we had another session of hot romance, hotter than the first. Ronke had given me enough sex to last the night but it didn’t mean I wasn’t going to try my luck with Jane, after all she’s my wife and I’m entitled to sex from her. Ronke hadn’t gone for up to ten minutes when Jane came back. She was looking the same way she left-dull, unhappy, rough, just name it. As soon as she came down from the car, she hugged me so tight I began to wonder what was going on. She held me for a very long time, when she eventually detached herself from me; she said “Kunle, I love you”.

I went blank, it seemed like a dream. When I figured it wasn’t a dream, I responded by telling her how much I loved her and how much I missed her former self. She cried and cried saying she misses it too but she didn’t know what to do. I told her “Baby, just be Jane again and we’re fine”. We went inside and laid on the bed, she rested on my chest. My face was beaming with smiles even though she wasn’t looking but I was very happy that she was happy, that she was becoming Jane again. I didn’t even want to make love to her; I just wanted to lay there with her forever. Surprisingly, she raised her head up and kissed me, I kissed her too and we began kissing deeply. She took off my shirt, something she hadn’t done in a long time. She was going to pull down my trouser when we heard “one two three, one two three drink, one two three drink………” that was Jane’s ringtone, Chandelier by Sia. The phone was by the bedside so she took a quick glance at it and proceeded to continue but the caller didn’t relent as the person called back almost immediately we were going to resume our action. This time she was getting undressed so I took the phone and said “Baby, just receive the call, it might be important”. As I passed the phone to her, I took a quick glance at the caller’s name. It was Cole. Cole, my best-friend.


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Friends with benefits also known as fwb is a kind of relationship many people go into in this 21st century, people go into it as a result of sexual feelings they want to act upon without being in the real deal (the boyfriend/girlfriend kind). In a lot of cases, both parties might most likely have relationships with others but still want their 'fwb' partner, no strings attached. Its been originally designed to be a relationship where both parties benefit equally, for instance, the guy gets sex while the girl gets money/connection or the other way around. These days though, both parties most likely wants the same thing - sex which makes the deal even easier. The deal is one that allows both parties to have other sexual partners without anyone getting jealous or feeling cheated. That's the greatest lie anyone can tell themselves in a friends with benefits relationship. That's the purpose of this piece - to tell you the truth.

When going into a business partnership, the terms and conditions are spelt out in a way both partners understand clearly, they can agree to the partnership if the terms and conditions favor them or if it's something they can deal with, otherwise they won't. In the case of fwb, the terms and conditions should be spelt out and should only be agreed to if both partners can deal with what it entails. That's the first challenge most fwb relationships face - no terms and conditions. They're just so filled with lust that they can't even look before they leap. You should always talk it out before you get into it because if you don't, talking later would be too late since you both would have done a lot together already. A lot of people are in fwb relationships, they just don't realise it yet. Some people don't even know they're in fwb relationships because they've mistaken likeness for love or because the partner is fond of them, it means "something". Always be sure that person is obviously single not by assuming but by observation and asking questions because you don't want the main chick or the main nigga coming to take back their "possession" after you already thought you own them. One should clearly define all forms all relationships they want to go into before they go into it, no one wants to waste their time, energy, resources and emotions with anyone who was never on the same page with them.

We always tell ourselves that it's just going to be sex, nothing more but then you see yourself getting jealous when he or she receives a call that seems romantic or when he or she has to spend time with other people asides you. If you're an emotional person, you shouldn't be in this kind of relationship. Its for people who have "gangsta" emotions. People who can overlook things and never speak about them. Whether you admit it or not, sex is a bigdeal and can bring about unplanned emotional feelings. So you are in a fwb relationship and after a short while, you're "in love" because of the strong emotions tied to sex and other sexually related activities. Fwb partners should know that fwb is just what it is - friends with benefits. No future, no talking too much, it's just business. Its not a relationship where you and your partner can have "the talk" every now and then because it's not that deep. You should also be un-bothered about the people they spend time with when you're not with them, they're not obliged to tell you about the "other things" they're doing. You should try not to complain about things you can't deal because that's probably why they have you even though they have other partners, it might make them want to end it if the difference between you and their partners isn't much.

Going into a fwb relationship as a single person isn't what I would advise someone to do especially when the partner you're going into it with isn't single, you're going to be doing yourself a lot of bad. Not having other (or another) sexual partner(s) in a fwb relationship means you would be putting your all into the relationship and you shouldn't be doing that in a relationship that clearly has no future. Another mistake people in fwb relationships make is thinking that the relationship would ever get "serious". Honey, if it didn't start on a serious note, it would most likely never get to a serious level. The fact that he or she had a serious partner and the relationship ended doesn't mean you would be their next option for something serious. It doesn't work that way, if it was meant to be a serious relationship, it would have been. The probability that your fwb relationship would ever get serious is like half over one thousand. Before his or her "main" relationship ended, they probably already have someone they're considering to be "serious relationship material" so instead of getting your hopes up, get yourself something serious too.

If you can deal with all that I've mentioned or you think you have the qualities that a fwb partner needs, then you're good, otherwise, it's not for you. Let's bring out the points together;
1) State your terms and conditions (define the relationship).
2) Don't be emotional, don't catch feelings #teamgangstaemotions.
3) Don't always say how you feel (you don't need to have "the talk".
4) You don't need to know what they're doing when you're not with them.
5) Your fwb partner shouldn't be your only partner.
6) Don't think it would ever get serious, if it was meant to be, it should have been.


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Okay, this is a challenge I need a solution to. My parents are saying no money no money when it is obvious that they have. My little brother is home because he has outstanding fees so I was wondering if I should give him my tithe to pay part while I pay the tithe next month when I get my next salary, I don't know what to do.

Mods please move it to fp, I need urgent solution to this.

How much is it?

I almost couldn't believe this when it happened to me, I now knew that life is more than how I see it. Some people can be so extreme in their approach which even makes their proposal 'yuckier' than it already is. Oya let me skip the intro and go straight to the story because I can already hear you thinking ehn what exactly happened, lol.

Now, if you know me to some extent, you'd know I schooled in the Rebublic of Benin, Cotonou precisely. Cotonou is known for their very cheap stuff, even I get clothes as cheap as 100 naira (shh, tell no one). My mom knew this and decided to come and take advantage of that quality so she came on that fateful day.

I was being lectured when I got her call so I had to excuse myself from the class to receive her call. I called my bestfriend, Bisi to go meet her since she wasn't having any class at the time and would probably get there before me as I didn't want to delay my mom because she was going to leave as soon as she was done shopping. I left school for the market. On getting there, she was done buying because she had a customer I was like "ahn ahn sharp sharp", so she concluded her deals and left.

Bestie was pregnant at the time and had been craving some very funny things. That's how she said she wanted peppersoup that morning, I mean, who sells or eats peppersoup in the morning. I was free at the time because my next class was by 3 and it was about 11 then so I said no wahala, let's peppersoup hunt. We first went somewhere to share a plate of eba (I like food but bestie eats as if her life depended on it and it got worse when she was pregnant). When we were eating, one guy approached us, he was one of the guys that sold to my mom so we were cool.  Bisi asked if he knew anywhere we could get peppersoup, he said he'd take us there. Bisi said no, "if you can't describe it, then leave (I'm very mean but she's meaner)". We finished our food then left to continue our hunt but this guy didn't leave us alone, he kept following us. He said he'd take us there and even pay, we said "we don't need you to pay (too much money *pops collar*) we can pay for ourselves, you can go back now because you've been far too kind".

This guy remained unflinched as if we weren't saying anything at all. He persisted and she gave up and said "okay, you'd take us there but we don't need you to pay", she turned to me and asked "abi?" I said "yes, he should take us there". So we took bikes and off we went. Lest I forget, Bisi's pregnancy wasn't obvious at the time. We got there and he paid the bikes (the place was far ehn). We entered the almost-empty place and sat, he spoke igbo to the attendant in a way that made us believe he was asking for the peppersoup so we remained calm and glanced at each other regularly, I mean I and Bisi.

After a while, we realised he didn't even ask the attendant anything, he was probably just exchanging pleasantries with him. We decided to ask him ourselves, the guy said there was no peppersoup as expected because it's hard to find that in the morning. He got us drinks. This guy I later saved his number as 'dumb dude' kept a straight face all through, no smiles at all, not even a fake one. We all started talking and all, he kept a straight face still. I was sitting across him while Bisi was sitting by the right side of the table so she was by my side. He told us how he liked both of us especially me.

All of a sudden, I just felt his hand under the table putting something into my hand, it was money. I quickly brought it up to the top of the table for the whole world to see, I asked him "what's this for?", he then said "I want you girls to make me happy", I and Bisi exchanged glances, it was 40 thousand cfa equivalent to errr say 13 thousand naira at the time. I did the talking again and asked "how do you want us to make you happy?", he replied "you know how to make a man happy". Being a very straightforward person, I asked "you want us to sleep with you?", he said "I didn't say that but I'm sure you know how to make a man happy".

I thought for some seconds and said "you want us to sleep with each other while you watch?". I couldn't possibly think of any other way two girls can make a strange guy happy without sex especially when he already paid upfront for whatever it is that would make him happy. He replied "God forbid!", I said "I'm wondering how so I thought you might want a lesbian thingy, don't know though so tell us how do you want us to make you happy?"

Bisi finally finished with whatever she was thinking and without letting the dumb dude tell us what he really meant blurted out "what kind of rubbish is that, we don't sleep with people for money". As if reading her mind, he responded "So? Other girls do it all the time, what's there, if you people think the money is too small, I can add to it". I thought to myself "this guy is really serious" so I smiled and said "sorry, you're talking to the wrong people, we don't do stuffs like that". I gave him his money but he refused, in my mind I was already thinking about how many clothes and shoes I can buy with twenty thousand cfa just incase he generously leaves his money.
 
Bisi said "we don't want", he replied "you girls need someone to take care of you", I said "we don't need you to do that, we're fine already". I gave him the money but this time he collected it, my guy didn't waste time at all, guess he's not so dumb when it comes to money as an igbo guy that he is (no offence oo igbo people but you know it's the truth).

While all this went on, I and Bisi shared another plate of foofoo (no time) in place of the peppersoup we couldn't get. He paid the bills (reluctantly though) in a way that showed he felt cheated because apparently he wasted his money but we exchanged contacts which is why I could save his contact as 'dumb dude'. We left the place, got on bikes, he paid and collected change. I was off to school and Bisi went home. Our departure didn't put an end to his persistence though, he called almost everyday inviting me over to his place and reminding me that he had plenty money to spend because I was the one he wanted. This happened in the month of December, 2013 and I had many more experiences after this but this was the first direct and major one I had.


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“Hmm”. “Ahh”. These were the sounds of pleasure made in tandem with the rhythmic creaking of the bed springs. With a shudder and a groan, the male on top of me achieved orgasm. He collapses on me, breathing heavily into my ear. He then rolls of me, body glistening with sweat. He grins at me, revealing straight, brown stained tobacco teeth. He gives my nipple one last pinch and proceeds to put on his clothes all the time keeping up a steady chatter of how good and sweet I was and how he’s going to return at a later date. As he finishes putting on his shoes, he opens his wallet and presses some bills into my palm and then walks out. I glance at the clock. There is still time for two or three more customers. I rise from the bed to dispose of the condom used, clean my body off with a wet towel (no time for a bath and moreover, men like the scent of sex), put on a short, sexy gown with nothing underneath, reapply my makeup and then, out I go. This is my life. Welcome to the world of a Commercial Sex Worker a.k.a Prostitute, Harlot, Slut, Ashewo, Okpo etc.

It wasn’t always this way. I was raised in a comfortable household in an upper middle class neighbourhood. While growing up, I’ve always held the attention of men folk starting from junior secondary. I have incredible hips which are a perfect platform for the perfect bum to be developed, perky breasts, a smooth flawless skin that has never seen a pimple and a face that wouldn’t make the cover of Vogue but it’s refreshingly appealing to men. My sojourn into the body hawking business started when I was at a “joint” with my erstwhile boyfriend and I arose to get to the bathroom. As I did, I felt the eye of every male on me and suddenly, there was this really intense feeling of power. Call it an epiphany and you wouldn’t be far from the truth. Anyway, as I got outside, I was accosted by a guy who simply said “how much?” in a coarse voice. I instantly felt disgust but incredibly I was really turned on. I really love sex and my boyfriend wasn’t giving me plenty of it. Then I thought, “why not?” Why not get paid for doing something you actually enjoy doing? Sounds familiar, right? I told him #3,000 and he took me to the toilet I was headed towards. That marked the beginning.

Over the years, I’ve met a lot of people; guys who brag a lot and are dead in bed, average, good ones, downright ugly, incredibly handsome, tall, short, fat , thin, kinky, all sorts. I’ve even had pastors come in my bed. Received so many offers from men. Some are borderline stupid in my opinion (like telling me you want to marry me), some reasonable but I value my independence too much to be stuck with one bloke. For me, it’s primarily about the power I feel from seeing men fumble over themselves just for me. I actually pity the married dudes who work their socks off and return home to stiff-necked boring wives who know next to nothing about pleasing a man. Some do have some knowledge but refrain from giving their all. All they are interested in is obtaining the latest clothing and jewelry which are being paid for by the hussy’s cash. Only when they get these things do they put on a show for about two days (if the guy gets lucky). Yet, these women open their mouths to call us harlots! I have clients who just stay and talk with me for about two-thirds of the time paid for (usually marital problems, though). As far as I see it, these women should commend us for taking the stress of their men’s necks. After all, we are providing a service they cannot perform. Anyway, I’ve got no regrets and if I should reincarnate, I’ll still come back this way. It’s just too much fun! See ya.

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