Wives submit yourselves!
Money o, sex o, pant o, food o, bra o
Just drop am for table

UrrGh! Nigerian Marriage Matters = tons of headaches and then some...
Why were "Joint Accounts" created in the first place?

Ezibless:


hmmmm. It's just understanding that any marriage needs

yea. Lemme digress a bit, the dp looks like a face I've come across, maybe in abia or another place like that

Raiders:
I feel really sad for your comment because you are a man that reason like a female. Our generation is different from that of our grandparents where the man work and the wife stay at home to raise the kids. The economy situation in Nigeria is different from that of our parents and it now require both couple to work so as to keep the family financial situation good. More women attend school and get good jobs unlike in the past. In a modern African home, it is now require both the spouse to help pay the family bills. Its no longer the sole responsibility of the husband to pay all the family bills. No man wants to marry a wife that will spend all day watching dstv. Women should also work and help with the home finances too. The days of our grandparents is over and we are in a mordern society.

Actually nothing has changed,in the era of this grandparents,women worked and had income,they were farmers,nurses,teachers and artisans,women made and kept their income,which was how they could singlehandedly send many of their children to school in a polygamous setting,it was not dependent on the man.

Why is this generation of men trying to shirk responsibilty is what I don't get.Some Nigerian men of today ask women to bring all their income,this much I'm sure of.I repeat nothing protects this women when his relatives or second wives come calling in the future,or when he excercises his african right and sends her packing out of his house.this is why what obtains abroad cannot be set as the yardstick for nigeria...the women should always remember this.

And for the men, Don't get married if you can't afford to simple.and definately don't start demanding a womans income to assist you make ends meet,its inexscusable in africa.

Cutehector4u:
Hmmm... I wonder the kind of men mothers raise up these days

The motherless kind of men!

This kind of things mostly happen when it is the man that saw her through school. However I think there is more to it that meets the eyeball.

phineas:


Actually nothing has changed,in the era of this grandparents,women worked and had income,they were farmers,nurses,teachers and artisans,women made and kept their income,which was how they could singlehandedly send many of their children to school in a polygamous setting,it was not dependent on the man.

Why is this generation of men trying to shirk responsibilty is what I don't get.Some Nigerian men of today ask women to bring all their income,this much I'm sure of.I repeat nothing protects this women when his relatives or second wives come calling in the future,or when he excercises his african right and sends her packing out of his house.this is why what obtains abroad cannot be set as the yardstick for nigeria...the women should always remember this.

And for the men, Don't get married if you can't afford to simple.and definately don't start demanding a womans income to assist you make ends meet,its inexscusable in africa.

why would you say nothing has change from the time of grandparents and our generation? Men earn more back then and most women were not allow to attend school because their parents think the role of a woman is only in the kitchen. Only few women work and most were full time house wife. Things are different now because more women attend school and the salary difference between men and women is not much. There are many women today who earn more than men. Its not a crime for a woman to contribute the bulk of the home finances if she earn more than her husband. My uncle wife is a professor and she earn more than my uncle who is a business man. She help support him financially in his business and their marriage has been okay. Marriage now invovle both couple pulling their resources to help with the finances. Only stingy wives don't help their husbands with the bills if she earn good salary. Its not an African tradition for a wife to be stingy and you better stop that mentality. Things are different now and we are not in 1940s.

kibi:
she says the hubby has given her a condition for their make up - submit your salary to me at the end of every month.

he[her hubby] should be ashamed of himself , that sounds childish , he's practically stu,pi.d cos I can tell by the thoughts of it Ðat he's too Bossy Ñ I'm sure he's the type dat beats up a lady , how can U (a man) be placing the love of your life under such Unacceptable condition dats preposterous, well I'll suggest they Hold a Family meeting iÑ order to straighten this their marital Feud.

Laughing in HD!

kibi:


this isnt helping out IMO cos he wants it all...its a different ballgame if she assists in purchasing stuffs in the house or contributes to paying bills.

as in, I don't understand how people reason. I can't imagine after working for a whole month, then I will count my hard earned salary (all oo) and hand over to my hubby. Nothing even half, I mean all. Then what will I be left with? Hmmm, though I don't know what brought such decision, pls op tell us what made the husband to give her such condition?

bennyrazz:
@op, but your friend has options now? either she submit her salary or carefully leave the marriage. There can't be two captains in a ship. The only thing I will say here is she should give it a trial for 2 or 3months and see what her husband plans are. If he squanders the money, then she should not submit subsequent ones and that would be her basis of argument should the marriage fail.

There's no ultimatum in love. If a relationship is filled with ultimatums then the love is gone. C'est finish

dre11:

Maybe u need to know the reasons why the man asked her to submit her salary to him

Because the reason she gave is not sufficient enough for that man to have taken such a drastic decision.



Maybe the man sees that your friend is not prudent with her salary or she is leaving above her salary or he sees some hanky panky

She's his wife and not his daughter

Raiders:
why would you say nothing has change from the time of grandparents and our generation? Men earn more back then and most women were not allow to attend school because their parents think the role of a woman is only in the kitchen. Only few women work and most were full time house wife. Things are different now because more women attend school and the salary difference between men and women is not much. There are many women today who earn more than men. Its not a crime for a woman to contribute the bulk of the home finances if she earn more than her husband. My uncle wife is a professor and she earn more than my uncle who is a business man. She help support him financially in his business and their marriage has been okay. Marriage now invovle both couple pulling their resources to help with the finances. Only stingy wives don't help their husbands with the bills if she earn good salary. Its not an African tradition for a wife to be stingy and you better stop that mentality. Things are different now and we are not in 1940s.

you said your uncles wife supports him, not that ur uncle authoritatively ordered his wife to be summit her salary every month. Do u know what it means to be left with no cash?

ocheu:
as in, I don't understand how people reason. I can't imagine after working for a whole month, then I will count my hard earned salary (all oo) and hand over to my hubby. Nothing even half, I mean all. Then what will I be left with? Hmmm, though I don't know what brought such decision, pls op tell us what made the husband to give her such condition?

I think the OP story is not complete because no man in his right sense will ask his wife to submit 100% of her salary to him. Maybe the husband feels like his wife is not supporting the household financially even tho she has a job. Nothing wrong in splitting the family bills by both couple 50-50. But most Nigeria women think the husband should be responsible for 100% of the house finances while she waste her salary on trival stuffs.

Daddi:
yea. Lemme digress a bit, the dp looks like a face I've come across, maybe in abia or another place like that

Abia ke? Lol

If you've never been to za north before den it aint moi

ukandi1:


d man did not threaten to cease her salary and then spend it for her.... Lets get this thing straight, d man only said bring ur salary and i will bring mine then we sit down together as couple and plan with it. This is very okay.. Even God would approve of this.
Its unwise for people in nairaland to picture men as evil and enslaving thier wives cos they ask for her financial involvement in building a home for both of them..
My humble OP

u r talkin as if u were there when it happened!!! The picture the OP created is different from what you are saying. On no occasion did the OP mentioned that they will sit 2geda nd plan how they would spend it.. 'submit ur salary to me' is quiet different from 'lets join our salaries 2geda' stop giving excuses nd face the plain fact abeg!!!

Why should a woman submit her salary to her husband? Because he owns her and she is his slave? Nigerians never cease to amaze.

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Much as i doubt the veracity of of the post because it lacked details, and so is incomplete and one-sided. However, i see no reason why a wife should relinquish her entire salary to her husband, i consider this stance as wrong and unacceptable.

Exactly! my husband has never asked me how much i earn because he believes its his responsibility to cater for the family. he earned his respect and i dont wait to be compelled before i do things for him and in the house. men should simply know their place and not hide under submissiveness to hide their laziness and inability to provide for the family. if my husband insists on my submitting my salary to him he wont even see a dime. did he send me to school or get the job for me? anyway women get category and levels. any man that is insisting on a woman's salary is wicked and very very lazy. infact that is abuse number 1, when you strip the woman of economic power. my take though.

kibi:


but dyu know there are some men who dont knw and care what their wives earn cos they believe its their duty to provide for the home.

ukandi1:


d man did not threaten to cease her salary and then spend it for her....
Lets get this thing straight, d man only said bring ur salary and i
will bring mine then we sit down together as couple and plan with it.
This is very okay.. Even God would approve of this.
Its unwise for people in nairaland to picture men as evil and enslaving
thier wives cos they ask for her financial involvement in building a
home for both of them..
My humble OP

@kibi- this is your friend's husband here. You can ask him all your questions...

Nothing to say because I am yet to be married. Sorry..!

Raiders:
according to the op, she said her friend husband ask to submit her salary at the end of the month which probably means she is not helping with the bills. No man would ask his wife to submit her salary if she is contributing to the house bills

Please dont say that. I have a friend that pays rent, school fees, NEPA bills, water bills, buys dispenser water and insurance on the kids. Yet her husband was demanding the rest of her salary. You know what she did when she got tired of being locked out if the house she pays rent in, she moved out. Now he's homeless and sober.

Raiders:
your friend is stingy lady. What is wrong with a woman helping out her husband with paying for the bills. I hate stingy women

By their words you shall know them! Anu Ofia! You are the lazy man who would leech on a woman like a parasite! I hate lazy men who are shameless enough to be fully dependent on a woman! The same way I do not condone women who fully depend on a man!

There is absolutely no issue with the woman contributing to the household or assisting with the bills, but demanding that she submits her whole monthly income to you is just foolish! Maka gini! That man can go to blazes for all I care!

Women be carrying this marriage thing on their heads like that's your sole aim in life! No man can kill me because I'm married to him! At the end of the day if we die, we all get buried in different coffins, so why should one man be causing me unnecessary stress! Mba nu!

ukandi1:


d man did not threaten to cease her salary and then spend it for her.... Lets get this thing straight, d man only said bring ur salary and i will bring mine then we sit down together as couple and plan with it. This is very okay.. Even God would approve of this.
Its unwise for people in nairaland to picture men as evil and enslaving thier wives cos they ask for her financial involvement in building a home for both of them..
My humble OP

I dont know who this is but the person seems to have information. 8 pages and counting on a quarter story, i warned in page 2 that the poster didnt have enough information to create a thread on her friends marriage.

I dont even know why your friend will ask for advice you dont offer any then run to make a post of it without her permission

Raiders:
I think the OP story is not complete because no man in his right sense will ask his wife to submit 100% of her salary to him. Maybe the husband feels like his wife is not supporting the household financially even tho she has a job. Nothing wrong in splitting the family bills by both couple 50-50. But most Nigeria women think the husband should be responsible for 100% of the house finances while she waste her salary on trival stuffs.

Yes some men do it, the lady in this case couldn't afford to submit the salary and kids weren't involved, they got divorced and both have re married. The lady resigned and moved to the states where she remarried, the man is happily settled here with 2 kids, so.....

The only plausible reason a woman should submit her monthly income to her hubby should be that the hubby should do her work.

dre11:

Maybe u need to know the reasons why the man asked her to submit her salary to him

Because the reason she gave is not sufficient enough for that man to have taken such a drastic decision.



Maybe the man sees that your friend is not prudent with her salary or she is leaving above her salary or he sees some hanky panky

Eithr way he's using a military approach! Don't like that style. Thr. R many ways to kill a rat, military style, chase it round ur haus wit a big club n eventually ovrcome it den turn back n look at how redecorated ur haus is. Evrytin no be by power.

Some people mentality sha, a man splitting bills with wify 50-50 is great but wify splitting chores 50-50 is disrespect, nah only God will deliver some people from the spirit of confusion. Man of the house calculating and dividing bills between himself and wify, how silly can a man get. What happens to handing over what you have, she pitches in where needed. Better still, divide the chores as you shared the bills, 50-50 .

Godmystrength:
@kibi- this is your friend's husband here. You can ask him all your questions...

You can see how much of a friend this OP is
I hope she has bit destroyed her friends marriage


She may even be a jealous single woman who wants her friend to join her in single hood

This is how she will say it if the case have been the reverse. This my husband.....he loves me so much he always give me his salary immediately they pay him.

Chillisauce:


You dont support it. What enlightenment do you need again ?

Enlightenment of the oppressive society and how some women can't use their God given brains .
Submit ko, mitsub ni

GeneralShepherd:


There's no ultimatum in love. If a relationship is filled with ultimatums then the love is gone. C'est finish

God bless you