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Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by Nobody: 3:30pm On Dec 17, 2014
Ogoanita:
In a serious, commited relationship where the guy is expecting the girl to help out with his house work * not that am saying it improper* i as a person can do all but when it come to washing cloths hmmmm:/ that where the real big deal comes in. Am really in a very tight corner right now cause all is not well with my relationship, i need sound and matured advice on this, your opinions and comments are highly welcomed tnx.

You are not yet married and he is stressing you this way?

Please what is the level of commitment? Has he shown seriousness? Or attempted to meet your parents or even siblings?

Can we know the sacrifices he has made for you? How well does he regard you or take care of you? Please answer these questions .atleast to a large extent it will assist many nairalanders in reaching a conclusion

Let's please get to have a clearer pix of your relationship and then know some facts about the bobo

2 Likes

Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by Hemanwel(m): 3:30pm On Dec 17, 2014
OP,you are one of those who are easily influenced by what people think and not by what your heart takes.
Come on!That you're in a relationship is suggestive that you're mature for it.You should be able to take this personal decision on your own!
You are not comfortable with doing your boyfriend's laundry means you do not think it's proper.So why asking us?

I like girls who can take decisions on their own and stand on it,even if the whole world kicks against it.

1 Like

Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by haibe(m): 3:31pm On Dec 17, 2014
Wendy80:
Why shd you do his laundry for him? As what na? He's even angry about it. Better tell him to get a washing Machine for himself. A man who will marry you will definitely marry you weda u wash, scrub or mop for him or not.
I'm a prove.
tell her not to collect money and gifts from him too, the woman that will marry him will marry him weda he gives gifts or not.

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Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by iluvweed(m): 3:33pm On Dec 17, 2014
Chai! Nigeria is more like a bush!

See someone complaining about washing clothes in 2014

So you mean there are no washing machines and dryers in naija

Still surprised cos its been long i saw someone washing clothes with bare hands grin

That been said i wont even bother to ask how they wash dishes in naija lol... cheesy

1 Like

Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by nikkymehmeh: 3:34pm On Dec 17, 2014
mutter:
I don`t think it is proper to advice the poster not to wash the cloths if the man expects it.
We don`t know what the man does for her. Some people give much and expect much.
Now she is young and can do the house chores , why not. BY the time they get married and she gets pregnant it would certainly stop.
It is only for a period of time.
The household chores are the duty of the woman. It is that way everywhere in the world.
Certainly ewhen she is doingthe chores th man would come and sit with her and help her once in a while..
Please let`s give realistic advice.
Exactly!!!is he feeding u or d one taking care of all ur expenses?
if he is....den he would expect much more from u
btw if he is not...he has no ryt to tell u such talkless of him gettin angry
Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by Nobody: 3:34pm On Dec 17, 2014
Zapence:



^^^E easy to know persin wey get sense. Dearie, YOU GET SENSE!

Honestly, some (if not most) relationships are way too rigid. And some people just do not know how to make a relationship or marriage fun. it is not just about going out to places/events and buying each other gifts, it's about knowing how to do things TOGETHER and making EVERYDAY ACTIVITY (even 'chores') fun!

Okay.........being his glorified washerman is part of the fun abi? If its that easy how come he isn't the one washing his own clothes?

I guess he will also wash her clothes to reciprocate the fun right?

Let's not be selfish here, please.the lady also has her own life and schedule. No woman just create life around a man

Any way am waiting for the chick to response to some questions I flung at her before I conclude

1 Like

Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by ellechrystal(f): 3:35pm On Dec 17, 2014
Ogoanita:
In a serious, commited relationship where the guy is expecting the girl to help out with his house work * not that am saying it improper* i as a person can do all but when it come to washing cloths hmmmm:/ that where the real big deal comes in. Am really in a very tight corner right now cause all is not well with my relationship, i need sound and matured advice on this, your opinions and comments are highly welcomed tnx.
My dear, please if u love ur relationship, learn how to wash ok.
What if u get married to a man who wants u to help him wash?
Please drop d idea of not being in love with washing, it's important a woman learns usual house chores.
But if ur not comfortable with the amount of clothes he brings or d manner at which he asks 4 d help, u should discuss it, n if ur totally not comfortable n there's nothing u can do please resign tongue... grin

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Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by haibe(m): 3:36pm On Dec 17, 2014
mutter:
I don`t think it is proper to advice the poster not to wash the cloths if the man expects it.
We don`t know what the man does for her. Some people give much and expect much.
Now she is young and can do the house chores , why not. BY the time they get married and she gets pregnant it would certainly stop.
It is only for a period of time.
The household chores are the duty of the woman. It is that way everywhere in the world.
Certainly ewhen she is doingthe chores th man would come and sit with her and help her once in a while..
Please let`s give realistic advice.
the only sensible post so far. It amazes me how some ladies are telling her not to wash it, do we know what she receives from this man and why the man expects much?..
Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by Nobody: 3:36pm On Dec 17, 2014
Ogoanita:
In a serious, commited relationship where the guy is expecting the girl to help out with his house work * not that am saying it improper* i as a person can do all but when it come to washing cloths hmmmm:/ that where the real big deal comes in. Am really in a very tight corner right now cause all is not well with my relationship, i need sound and matured advice on this, your opinions and comments are highly welcomed tnx.
....if you love him,wash the guy's cloth.if you don't love him,don't bother.in the so near future don't complain you're still single@70 years...

1 Like

Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by delors(m): 3:36pm On Dec 17, 2014
Listen to me sis, let him do his own laundry. You are not his wife yet, you are not his slave or househelp. Before he met you, who was doing his laundry? You?

If all you do is do his laundry every now and then, you are either jobless or you are being taken for granted. Do his laundry when and if it is convenient for you, it is not your responsibility and he should see it as a privilege not a birthright.

If you do his laundry every time, on the day u don't, he's gonna call u lazy. He can't be piling up dirty trousers and raising his shoulders expecting his darling slave to come wash his dirt off. Be wise woman, be thou wise.

10 Likes

Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by royalnikita(f): 3:37pm On Dec 17, 2014
chaircover:


Expecting!!!! . . . that is the word I have an issue with.
You dont force people to do things in a relationship.
If you are constantly expecting people to do things for you, then you can never be appreciative.

Sisi start as you mean to go on. There is nothing wrong in washing his clothes, helping with housework and cooking etc BUT only if you are comfortable with it and its something that you genuingly want to do for your loved one.
We are all different and some things sit with some people more than others and your bf has to understand that. Lady A may have happily washed his clothes, that does not mean that is the blueprint for all other ladys.

This is a reason why many people have married the wrong one, becasue the lady has to pretend to get a foot in the door and as soon as they are married she shows her true colour. Instead of the guy to let the lady be herself and watch her real character, he picks on irrelevant things.

Having all said and done. I dont really understand some relationships at all. Is it not fun for both to sit on wooden stools on a saturday morning and both washing the clothes. He washes and she rinses while both gist and throw soap suds and and water at each other. Some relationships are just too rigid. . . .way too rigid.
I soooooo love this, especially d last paragraph. grin

1 Like

Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by rigarmortis: 3:37pm On Dec 17, 2014
WASH, CLEAN, COOK, SUCK AND FUKC, THATS WHAT A GOOD GIRL DOES.

YOU WANT TO BE A GOOD GIRL DONT YOU.
Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by delors(m): 3:39pm On Dec 17, 2014
Omotolu:
....if you love him,wash the guy's cloth.if you don't love him,don't bother.in the so near future don't complain you're still single@70 years...
So love means wash my cloths? That's a twisted love idea. She can wash the guy's cloth if it is convenient for her...it's not a prerequisite for true love.

7 Likes

Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by crackhaus: 3:40pm On Dec 17, 2014
Wendy80:

I've had friends who washed, cooked, scrubbed, some even did with their own money yet they were dumped for another. I resolved never to do that and it paid. I know what work for 1 doesn't work for all.

Hope u are not one of those men who make ladies do chores for them all in d name of relationship grin
That's the point @bold text.
Doing chores does not automatically mean she'll be taken for granted, neither does not doing chores automatically mean she'll get proposed to - don't sell your experience like it's the universal rule.

Err, never mind about what I make ladies do for me wink grin

3 Likes

Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by Nobody: 3:40pm On Dec 17, 2014
Ogoanita:
i meant hes like showing how upset he is u know hmmm i can wash it jst that my mind no gree for that one
Gets angry over gini? U don turn into washing machine abi? Na by force that he wore those clothes and got dirt on them? Who was washing his clothes before u came into the picture? undecided

1 Like

Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by Nobody: 3:40pm On Dec 17, 2014
Rapsainot:



All her expenses of course?

ok, it's nice knowing how your reasoning is wired.
So, the fact you spend on a lady means she should become a washer-woman'
That's cool

1 Like

Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by Nobody: 3:42pm On Dec 17, 2014
Zeemoor:
You can't wash or what?
listen to you!! "you can't wash or what??" Hmmmm.. This one be like complete kitchen/bathroom wife not housewife but domesticated wife or girlfriend! Unless if she wants to put herself in that position, she should reccomend they buy a washing machine! LG 5kg or so na N30k. The man sef suppose correct him head by not forcing/making his babe/wife-to-be a washawoman & domesticated partner! Na agbero him be? Or soldier/ police? Or bus driver? This is year 2014 in this time & age if y'all fit go online & chat meaninglessly for hours, carry smart phones up & down worth 100k+ then buy a washing machine! Its as necessary as having a lightbulb in your house or room at night!

3 Likes

Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by JoeCutie(m): 3:42pm On Dec 17, 2014
I still don't understand girls.
Why do they always want to have everything go their way?
Must everything be about them?

OK, you'd want this guy to buy you everything in the world, take you out to every known eateries & joints in town, give you all the money in his account, give you all the attention you need, listen to you & accept your own views all the time without judging, and now... To wash his clothes & you're here complaining?
Most times ladies cry foul - "Double Standard". And this isn't fair on the guys at all.

Babe, if I were you, I'd not only wash his clothes. I'd buy, wash, iron & help him put them on. So if something happens to your relationship & you're asked why, you'd say it's because your man asked you to help him do his laundry?

I think you need to go back, relax & have a rethink. If you know anyhow you can assist your man to make him happy, in so far as he's not 'using' you, why not do it? I would do it if I were you.

Thanks. smiley

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by abbey621(m): 3:42pm On Dec 17, 2014
Wonders shall never end! You can't wash abi? When a guy treats his girlfriend as a wife this is what happens. It is customary in African traditions that the woman cater to all the man's needs as long as the man does his part too. Forget about not being married yet, you did not complain when you spent the night or started living with him. You did not complain about cooking or collecting gifts or him paying some or all of your bills, so please chillax! Any girl that does not want to be treated as a wife while in a girlfriend status should stop putting herself in situations, you can't eat your cake and have it.
Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by haibe(m): 3:44pm On Dec 17, 2014
siralos135:
My sister,this life has nothing to offer you.Only God does.To your question,I think you are too young for a relationship of this type and magnitude.It is obvious the guy does not really see any potential in you,I mean he does not see what you have to offer else washing of his clothe or not will not be what is "affecting your relationship".

Sorry have you met her? How sure are u she is too young for such a relationship?
And why the conclusion that the guy doesn't see any potential in her? I mean what exactly is wrong in expecting ur partner to wash ur clothes, we are in Africa Man and it is very normal. The lady does the house chores while the man brings the food.
Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by Henrypraise: 3:45pm On Dec 17, 2014
Ogoanita:
In a serious, commited relationship where the guy is expecting the girl to help out with his house work * not that am saying it improper* i as a person can do all but when it come to washing cloths hmmmm:/ that where the real big deal comes in. Am really in a very tight corner right now cause all is not well with my relationship, i need sound and matured advice on this, your opinions and comments are highly welcomed tnx.

Just kip waitin 4 dat matured advice till anoda girl wit an immature advice starts washin his clothes, d next update we will see is he left me cos I cudnt wash his clothes.
Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by Nobody: 3:45pm On Dec 17, 2014
I charge him for every shirt or singlet I wash for him, ever since then, he stopped heaping his dirty clothes.

Now he washes his clothes himself.

4 Likes

Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by Goldenboy007(m): 3:46pm On Dec 17, 2014
Let me ask you a question, Is your boyfriend obligated to take care of your expenses? Or let me put it this way - Is it his duty to make sure your financial needs are met? - Please don't wash his clothes, it's not your duty but don't ask him for money or gifts too because it is not his duty! If you contradict this then you are the problem in that relationship - you are not his washing machine and also he is not your father!!!
Until people begin to realize that relationship is finding a balance between responsibilities and prerogatives, then it's better you remain single!!! Remember we marry the values we see in people..sex and love will fade but values won't!

4 Likes

Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by haibe(m): 3:47pm On Dec 17, 2014
Kachisbarbie:


ok, it's nice knowing how your reasoning is wired.
So, the fact you spend on a lady means she should become a washer-woman'
That's cool
for a serious relationship, the lady should help her man with such chores. Of course the man can assist too.
Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by AshantiDimaria(f): 3:48pm On Dec 17, 2014
For my own point of view, I don't see anything bad about washing your or my boy friend's (love) cloths since his my man I have to help him his №t d only one that ll be helping me... Is a saying that if dis left hand washies dis right one d right too will do thesame.
Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by benedima1990(m): 3:48pm On Dec 17, 2014
If it's a serious relationship. Then my dear, u have to do it because if you don't, you won't get use to it to wen u get married. Do u know that little things impress guys. I don't want to believe you're the only gf he has. Read btw the lines dear
Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by Nobody: 3:48pm On Dec 17, 2014
Ogoanita:
In a serious, commited relationship where the guy is expecting the girl to help out with his house work * not that am saying it improper* i as a person can do all but when it come to washing cloths hmmmm:/ that where the real big deal comes in. Am really in a very tight corner right now cause all is not well with my relationship, i need sound and matured advice on this, your opinions and comments are highly welcomed tnx.
chai..pej.
Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by Nobody: 3:51pm On Dec 17, 2014
delors:

So love means wash my cloths? That's a twisted love idea. She can wash the guy's cloth if it is convenient for her...it's not a prerequisite for true love.
...hmmm.since i won't be part of the decision making,i won't be part of the problem.every man to himself. She should make her relationship a success,not a public forum...

1 Like

Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by Sleekyshuga(f): 3:52pm On Dec 17, 2014
undecided undecided undecided And please where was it written that because I am dating a man, I should become his slave?

Please, do things you are comfortable with.. It's a CHOICE..

Btw, who still washes with hands when washing machines are affordable undecided undecided..
Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by Nobody: 3:53pm On Dec 17, 2014
haibe:
for a serious relationship, the lady should help her man with such chores. Of course the man can assist too.

Truetalk.
I am not arguing that, but saying he pays her bills - that's sounds myopic to me.
I only do things I am comfortable with, and washing clothes has never been one of them.

She does every other, except washing clothes...every one has that chore -he/she doesn't just agree with. Maybe this is hers.
Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by ijaola(m): 3:54pm On Dec 17, 2014
I think you should help out with that. Make him happy, am not saying you should turn to his slave or make him take advantage of you. Is he worth it in the first place. Does he take care of you? Do you know his people by now? How many year relationship is it.

To conclude, you go to his house and u do the normal thing on his bed, would you wait for him to wash the bedsheet for you? grin
Re: Nairalander's Boyfriend Wants Her To Keep Washing His Clothes. Please Advice by Misogynist2014(m): 3:54pm On Dec 17, 2014
Are you so poor that you can't afford washing machine? That's sad. cry

1 Like

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