Jarizod:


You lavish 300k in a club and give a prostitute 15k. But you give your girlfriend 1k after washing your clothes and cleaning the house for you then you say you're testing her to find out if she is after your money.
Brother, the thunder that will fire you will be like Drug prescription; 3 in the morning, 3 in the afternoon and 3 at night.
Sho lo ya wehrey nii

Jarizod:
Youngest Son: Dad,whats the difference between 'hypothetically' & 'reality'? . Dad turns to wife: Would you sleep with Tom cruise for 1 million? . Wife: Of course! I would never waste such an opportunity . Then Dad asks daughter: Would you sleep with Tom cruise for 1 Million? . Daughter: Yes He's my fantasy . Dad asks elder son: Would you sleep with, Tom cruise for 1 million? . Elder Son: Why not ? Imagine what I could do with that money! . Father turns to his younger son: You see son, 'Hypothetically' we're sitting with 3 millionares but in 'Reality' we are living with 2 prostitutes & 1 gay Bastard !

Jarizod:

This economic recession is no longer funny o! See women pricing school fees: "Aunty, how much if we remove geography and Physical Education, I want him to become a doctor, not a traveler."

What if he comes to school only Monday, Wednesday and Friday will you reduce it

Jarizod:

The biggest example of corruption is a wedding ceremony where people will spray you and your spouse only 200 naira and still eat rice and chicken and drink which sums up to over N1500..
The worse is they will wrap broom and packer, plastic hand fan or even comb for you as a Gift
So I've decided on my wedding day when my baby and I will be dancing, people won't spray us directly... In a single file,like offering time in church,they will put the money on a tray for all eyes to see and at that point, you'll receive your food as follows:
NO MONEY: Pure water and toothpick
N200:White Rice without meat + pure water.
N500: White Rice + head of fish + coke
N1000: Jollof Rice + Meat + a Malt
N2000-N4000: Fried Rice + salad + chicken + chivita and bottle water
N5000 and Above: Please Serve Yourself..
No cheating!....

lhawarl1:



nice one bro

thanks padi

Jarizod:

The biggest example of corruption is a wedding ceremony where people will spray you and your spouse only 200 naira and still eat rice and chicken and drink which sums up to over N1500..
The worse is they will wrap broom and packer, plastic hand fan or even comb for you as a Gift
So I've decided on my wedding day when my baby and I will be dancing, people won't spray us directly... In a single file,like offering time in church,they will put the money on a tray for all eyes to see and at that point, you'll receive your food as follows:
NO MONEY: Pure water and toothpick
N200:White Rice without meat + pure water.
N500: White Rice + head of fish + coke
N1000: Jollof Rice + Meat + a Malt
N2000-N4000: Fried Rice + salad + chicken + chivita and bottle water
N5000 and Above: Please Serve Yourself..
No cheating!....

skarlett:



This got me

Jarizod:
You'll never know you are a fine boy until you are caught in the market stealing then you'll hear people saying "ehen so this kyn fine boy na thief..ehyaaa"

Smallville10:
hahahahahha. Tru talk ma guy... All d while u dey come market dem no see say u fin. Hahahahaha

Na so baba

Jarizod:
[b]
DIFFERENCE BTW AN AMERICAN POST AND A NIGERIAN FACEBOOK POST. AMERICAN POST:
Hello, my name is Sandra Stone, I am from New York, I love my husband so
much and I can do Anything to please him...But recently I am falling for his
cousin, what should I do? COMMENTS:
*James silva : I think u need to talk to your husband because marriage is all
about communication.
*Sarah water : Oh my dear,sorry abt that.. Have been in your shoes before, I
had to wake up and face the fact that I am married.
*Michael paper : well just remove your mind from him and make your husband do the things you like in his cousin.. NIGERIAN POST:
My name is Talatu, i stay in Abuja, married with a kid, I think I am falling for my
husband's cousin! What should I do? NIGERIAN COMMENTS:
*Dayo muyiwa : Fool, love na food?
*Nkiru joy : You are a disgrace to womanhood..sham e on u, *Idris kunle : Any news about ASUU strike?
*Toheeb sule : If u want to fall for me too, call my no 0708312455
*Funmi Leye: I no blame u at all, better go find something do with your life, fall
koor, stand nii
*Richard oke : Abeg who get bb charger(pin mouth)
*Mallam Audu : Allah ya tsine miki anya ke yar musilma che kuwa? Allah ya kyauta
*Bashir Bigboi: Gaskiya ur so cute pls Add me
*Amaka Achebe : Ur a prostitute, u need deliverance ! KAI NIGERIANS!!!!. 9ja of life - i hail thee
[/b]

KissChrix:

The bashing you go receive ehn...

I dey tell u

Jarizod:


I dey tell u

Jarizod:


I dey tell u

Smallville10:
after nigerians swear for am finish, her head go correct straight...

Nigerians wey no get chill

lhawarl1:

bro how you doing na,

lhawarl1:

bro how you doing na,

donblade85555:
Nice jokes

Jarizod:


fine boss..u?

lhawarl1:

am fine too bro, am not a boss yet,

smiles
I hope yo day was perfect?

Jarizod:


smiles

I hope yo day was perfect?

lhawarl1:

no, it wasn't, i hope today will be.